A note from your humble author: There's going to be a lemon in this chapter. I spent the last 14 chapters putting these two through the wringer just to get them this far and now that I have them together there will be more lemons to make up for all the waiting MWAHAHAHAHA

He wasn't ready to speak with his family. He wasn't sure if he would ever be ready, though he knew it would be inevitable if he wished to remain with Rey. His body was still weak and he slept through most of his recovery due to all the powerful painkillers that made him drowsy, but whenever he opened his eyes, or had to take a meal, she was there. She never left his side. He didn't know if he really believed in balance. Maybe it had worked for her, maybe she was special; he doubted there would be any such peace for him. But in the end it didn't matter, he was used to the turmoil, to the never-ending miasma of darkness that always trailed him wherever he went. He was used to the guilt of his heinous crimes, to the blood on his hands. He was made to suffer, and anything that took that pain away, even if only for a moment, was worth more than precious gold to him, and she was that salvation. When he felt her through the bond, when she touched him, when she looked at him with her beautiful warm eyes, she could wash away all his pain.

He was a pretty poor conversationalist, now that he finally had her all to himself, but thankfully he could listen to her talk all day.

"I went to blaster practice while you were asleep," she said as she joined him for an evening meal.

"What do you need that for?" he asked, feeling blasters as being somewhat beneath a powerful force user.

"I like being good at lots of things. You never know when it'll come in handy. Apparently I'm a great shot if I rely on the force and a crappy one if I don't. I would like to be better without having to rely on the force."

"Why would you ever be without it?" he said referring to the force. Knowing it wasn't something you just forget at home.

"Well, what if someone drugged me? What if I were in binders?"

He couldn't argue with her on that one. He also couldn't argue with her making herself proficient in any means to further protect herself. He had a bad feeling that in time she would need it. The Knights of Ren would not simply give up. They would keep hunting for her…for them, and he knew Snoke had a penchant for vengeance.

"That reminds me," she said as she reached into a shoulder bag that was sitting by her feet. "Here. I got it back for you."

He was shocked when she handed him his light saber. He hadn't really thought about it at all since waking up on Takodana.

"How?"

"That big Knight of Ren, the leader now, I guess, he had it. I think he took it after Dantooin. I didn't want him to have it. It wasn't his. I don't care if it is red; he had no right to take something that was a part of you. I…I got so angry in that moment; I ended up being consumed by darkness. I've felt terrible about it ever since."

He turned the hilt over in his hands. "Aldo Ren, he was the leader of the Knights of Ren before I defeated him in single-handed combat and became the Master of the Knights of Ren. I thought you said you were Grey, why should you fear the darkness?"

She could sense his doubt over the bond again, and she wished he trusted her more. "Just because I'm Grey doesn't mean I can't still fall. There are ways to tread the path between light and dark, but anger and hatred are still dangerous for me. It's something I personally will have to overcome. I murdered the doctor who tortured you. I murdered that tall Knight of Ren, and when Aldo Ren refused to give me your saber, I tore his arm out at the shoulder." She did not know how to explain to him that without a love of equal power to her hatred, she had nothing to counteract the darkness with. She still wasn't certain how she felt about the man who had once been Kylo Ren. She knew she liked him now that they had shared something powerful, something beautiful together on Dantooin. Their connection through the bond brought them closer than she had probably ever been with anyone in her life, but old habits die hard, and she could not forget that when she was only a scavenger on Jakku, that it had never been truly safe to fully trust or depend on anyone else but herself. As desperately lonely as she often felt, she believed that at least if she were alone, no one could hurt her. She couldn't help but feel drawn to him, to his powerful gaze, and his strong will, even to his bad temper, but deep down she still feared that if she let him too close, he could hurt her, and she wasn't sure if she was ready yet.

"You really tore his arm off?" he seemed to take pride in that thought, but then he gave a brief scoffing laugh. "If you can't control your hatred, how would you expect someone like me to be able to?"

"When I held your saber in my hand for the first time, it made me think of you. That helped me actually, thinking of you, it pushed the darkness away. I think you can help me as much as I can help you. I think we need each other."

She could see him soften a little at that. He set down his fork and placed his large warm hand over hers where it laid on the table. She could feel herself blushing again and she felt ridiculous about it considering how intimate they had once been.

"Thank you, for coming back for me. I really didn't think I would ever see you again. When I couldn't feel you through the bond, I feared the worst. I thought I lost you. I don't ever want to feel that again," he confessed.

He shoved their small table from between them, and nearly made her jump out of her skin, but before she could protest he had gripped her in his arms and pulled her into him. He held her face gently in his hands and looked down into her eyes with an intensity that could drown the soul.

"Ben," she said as she reached up on her toes to press her lips to his. He instantly invaded her mouth with his searching tongue. She could feel his strong hands move from the small of her back and begin sliding up underneath her tunic. She could feel his frustration through the bond as he found her vest stopping his hands from roaming further up and with a furious yank and a few popped seams he had wrestled it off her. Part of her was irritated at his blatant disregard for her property…again; the other part of her decided she would care about it later. He had already pulled her tunic up over her head and was working magic on her skin with this mouth moving slowly down her throat, and gently squeezing a breast in one of his hands, while moving his other hand lower to cup her ass.

She wound her fingers through his dark hair and pulled him closer, wanting to feel his warm mouth on even more of her. She wanted to remove the tan tunic the medics had given him, and to feel her hands caress his body, but she was nervous for his sake. Most of his wounds had healed, but he would bear many new scars, some were still tender and she didn't want to harm him.

He could sense the focus of her desire through the bond and pulled the tunic off over his head. He waited as she regarded his body, feeling worried that she would reject him for his new marks.

Her eyes glistened with moisture. The pain he had endured written all over his skin. She gently reached out and trailed her fingers lightly over one of his newer, but more healed over scars. Her delicate fingers felt gentle and warm, and he stiffened even more under her contact. She could see him straining against the pajama bottoms he had been given.

"I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner," she said as a tear rolled down her face. He pulled her against him again, marveling at how wonderful her warm body felt against his now that both their shirts were off.

"You can make it up to me by coming for me now," he breathed huskily in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. He pulled open her belt and yanked down her leggings, when he knelt down to help her out of her boots he began trailing his lips down the plane of her stomach. The moment he had her out of her clothes he scooped her up and carried her back to his bed.

He laid her down gently, but she saw him wince at a sudden pain in his side, and she knew he wasn't quite ready for such exertions yet.

"You're not fooling me! Lie down," she ordered him.

He could sense her intentions and a devilish smile spread across his face as he rolled over and pulled her on top of him. She decided to wipe that smirk off his face with another kiss, and she moaned as his hands roamed down her body and cupped her bottom, pulling her tighter against his throbbing erection.

She pulled back from his lips and began pressing soft kisses down his chest. He closed his eyes and savored the feel of her as she ran her tongue over his nipple, causing him to breathe harder. Next she moved across to his other nipple and he couldn't stifle a growl of intense pleasure as she gently tugged his other nipple with her teeth.

"Rey, I need you," he pleaded, and she smiled knowing that she had him right where she wanted him. She trailed her lips further down his abs, marveling at how tone and beautiful his body was. No scars could really diminish the strength and power that lay beneath his flesh. She undid the drawstring of his pajamas and he helped her pull them down.

His manhood was rock hard and large as she gripped it in her hand. She could hear another growl of pleasure from him as she moved a little further up so that she could seize his lips with hers as she slowly stroked his shaft.

He reached one of his long arms between them and delved between her thighs. She whimpered into their kiss as she felt his long fingers explore her soft sex. He could feel how wet and ready she was and he wanted her, now!

To his slight frustration she only slid back down his body again, his cock still gripped in her hand, and he watched in ecstasy as she ran her tongue over the head and then took it all into her mouth. He couldn't stifle a groan as he felt her wet tongue caress every inch of him, taking him in deeper and deeper into her mouth. She pulled back slowly and ran her tongue over the tip again and he had to clench every muscle in his body not to explode right there.

"Rey, don't torture me anymore. I need you!" he begged, and it made her feel powerful to make him want her so.

Slowly she moved back up his body to straddle him, and she sighed contentedly as he firmly gripped her hips and positioned her above his shaft, then slowly lowered her onto him.

She gasped to feel her body stretching to accommodate him, wanting every inch of him that she could take.

"Oh, Rey, you're so beautiful. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he purred as he ran his hands up her waist and cupped her breasts as she slowly moved up and down his shaft, trying to be gentle against his still recuperating body.

But he was having none of it. He wanted her, needed her, and no pain would stop him from feeling her this way. She cried out as he began thrusting up into her, and she could nearly see stars from how good he felt inside of her. She reached into him again through the bond, pulling from his pleasure as well as her own.

He could feel her pleasure through the bond and it was driving him mad with want. He gripped her thighs tightly as he felt himself bury deeper within her. Then he felt her through the bond, as she cried out his name, arching her back and throwing back her head in unbridled ecstasy, and he could feel her walls trembling around him. With a few more thrusts he soon followed and pulled her against him desperately, wanting her close.

They lay that way panting and glistening with sweat for several minutes. Eventually she pulled herself off of him, but he pulled her close to him. "Stay," he pleaded.

"I won't go anywhere," she promised.

This must be a dream. Nothing this good ever happens to me.

She heard him say through the bond.

You're not dreaming, not this time.

She replied.

"Wait, how long have you been able to hear me?" he asked, suddenly regarding her with an air of shocked curiosity.

"Since the beginning," she replied, still blissfully exhausted in his arms.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked, suddenly raising his voice, and she could feel that this revelation genuinely hurt and angered him.

"I didn't like you," she said flatly, and watched as a wounded and grumpy frown passed over his face. She could feel that she had hurt his pride.

"But that was then, I like you now," she said in a gentler voice as she softly trailed her finger over the scar she had left across his face.

He sighed, and she felt the anger dissipate within him. "I guess I had that coming. You won't ignore me anymore will you?"

"Not as long as you behave yourself," she said with a smirk.

She had spent that night peacefully sleeping in his arms, and it still felt as wonderful as it had that night on Dantooin, though she worried that her friends would wonder where she disappeared to, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to explain all that to them just yet.

Ben was feeling much better and the doctor had released him from the medical ward under the advice that he still should take it easy for a few more days. They walked quietly together away from the base. Most of the people who saw the new stranger walking with Rey didn't know who he was, but were curious, but Rey didn't think he was ready to go around making a bunch of introductions yet. The first few people who tried were only greeted with a silent irritated looking man, who would barely give his name. She wondered if it bothered him having to go by his given name again after so long.

"A little," he confessed as they walked away beyond where others could bother them. He had sensed her concern.

"Do you want a new name?" she offered.

"Ben Solo died sixteen years ago," he replied.

"You can't be Kylo Ren anymore. Do you dislike it when I call you Ben?"

"No. Not from you. I like it when you say my name," he said as he reached for her hand. The simple act of holding hands with someone special had always been a concept that he believed would never be meant for someone like him. At least not for someone like Kylo Ren, but he knew she was letting Ben Solo hold her hand, and that eased his worries a little.

She smiled as she felt his large warm hand completely engulf her own. She wanted to make him feel more at ease, to see more of the darkness recede within him, but she knew it would take baby steps, and with the war still raging she knew she couldn't let him wait forever to face all of his demons.

"Master Luke asked about you," she said, and she instantly felt him tense up through the bond, and suddenly he removed his hand from hers.

"Are you still angry with him because he said you weren't cut out to be a Jedi?" she asked, knowing that that had been the final straw that had sent him over the edge and damned him for the past sixteen years. She could feel the brooding anger within him again, and she knew he still carried that resentment.

"Do you believe that the force makes mistakes?" she asked.

"No. I don't believe that," he finally said.

"You may not know this, but Master Luke once told me the exact same thing he told you; that I could never be a Jedi...and he was right…about the both of us. It's just that when he said it to you he hadn't found the temple yet, there wasn't anything to be done about people like us, not then, not yet. But if you hadn't done all that you did, he never would have went looking for that temple, he never would have found it, or shown it to me, and I never would have been able to use that strength and knowledge to get to you. We wouldn't be here together, right now. If the force makes no mistakes then this all happened for a reason, but I know that if he had the means to help you, he would have."

She could feel guilt and sadness seeping from him through the bond. "He still loves you," she added.

"I betrayed him horribly. I killed so many padawans…so many younglings," he tried to argue.

"It was Snoke the deceiver who drove you to it. You know this is true. You saw your grandfather in my memory."

"Where is he?" he asked, referring to his grandfather.

"When you find more balance within yourself, I think he will come to you. I think he's wanted to reach out to you for a very long time. You weren't strong enough with the force to pull him from the beyond when you were a child, and by the time you were strong enough you were too filled with darkness. Only a strong call of light can give a force ghost enough strength to appear, it's not by their own power that they can return, but the power of the person who needs them."

"Fine. You win. I will speak with Luke Skywalker," he relented, and he could feel her relief through the bond.

He found his uncle meditating in the forest. He was going to come back later when he wasn't preoccupied, but just as he moved to turn back he heard his uncle's voice.

"It's all right Ben, you know I won't bite."

Hating any insinuation that he was being cowardly he walked into the clearing where his uncle was waiting, perched lotus style on a large fallen log.

"Rey said she told you everything."

"Yes, I know all about Snoke's deception, as does your mother, and Chewie. I've waited sixteen years to be able to tell you this: I did not mean to push you away forever. I felt the darkness within you, yes, but I also felt a terrible loneliness. I knew you were not happy at the academy, and that it hurt you when your mother and father sent you away. I had hoped that if you returned to them and made amends, it would have put your mind at ease, and perhaps you could have returned to me later, in a better place emotionally…but…it didn't happen that way. Snoke had been there all along, toying with your mind, and I had been of no help. What I'm trying to say is…is that I'm sorry."

Ben tried to calm the storm of emotions that threatened to drown him. All the anger, resentment, betrayal; he had held onto it for so long, but now he couldn't anymore.

"No, it's I who should be asking your forgiveness. I destroyed everything that you had built. I took the lives of the innocent. Everything you tried to teach me; I had refused to listen. I'm so sorry, Uncle Luke."

Luke watched as his nephew desperately tried to fight back the tears that poured out along with his pain and guilt. He climbed down from his perch and placed his hand on his nephew's trembling shoulder.

"I never stopped believing in the light in you. I'm glad you are home where you belong," he offered.

"There is still much darkness inside," he confessed, and Luke could sense the old doubt, confusion, and concern from within him.

"I know, but you will overcome it in time. Rey will help you. I have seen the balance that lives within her, and I know she can show you the way. But she needs your help too. She killed with hatred in her heart the day she saved you. I think it was her affection for you that pulled her back from the brink of darkness. All I ask of you now is that you do no harm to her, as long as you can grant me that request, than all is forgiven between us."

"I give you my word; I would die to protect her, even from myself."

Rey had decided that Ben needed to speak with his uncle alone, but she kept watch over him through the bond. She could sense that somewhere in the forest he was finally making peace with his long estranged uncle, and it brought a smile to her face.

"Finn, wait up!" she called, running to catch up with her friend.

"Rey, I'm glad to see you. I haven't seen you in days. Are you okay?"

"I'm good Finn, things are good," she tried to assure him.

"Is he still kinda…" he hesitated not wanting to say the words 'crazy' or 'evil' out loud, especially considering he knew that she had gone soft on the guy.

Rey didn't need the force to sense his intended course of thought. "He's on edge, but he's talking to Master Luke right now, and I can feel that he's stepping further into the light. It will take him time. I'll understand if you never see him as anything but Kylo Ren."

"Yeah, yeah I don't like him at all, but as long as he doesn't hurt you, or anyone else here, I guess I can tolerate him. But don't ask me to be chummy with him!"

She gave him an understanding smile. "Sure, I understand. Just stay chummy with me, will ya?"

He gave her one of his big bright smiles. "You don't even have to ask. Hey, now that you're not spending all day trapped in the Rancor's lair, have you heard about the blockade?"

"Yes, the general told me that they suspect a spy, but it hadn't been confirmed yet."

"Well we just found out today, that latest supply ship has been intercepted by the First Order. There's no way they could have tracked its route unless someone gave that information away."

"If there's an investigation, I want in on it."

"I figured you would. That Jedi stuff might be real handy for a job like this. You should see the general about offering yourself up for this mission…well, but what about him?"

That was indeed an issue, he wasn't up to full strength yet, and she needed to begin teaching him the things she learned from the silver light or risk losing the progress that had been made within him so far.

"I think it's time he and I both had a talk with the general," she replied.

A note from your humble author: Big thanks to everyone enjoying the story so far! Clearly they both still have trust issues to iron out, and he still needs to patch things up with mommy dearest and uncle Chewie, but ya know I'm weaving more action plot points ahead, and I'm not done with the rest of the Knights of Ren. Stay tuned for next chapters exciting (and possibly smutty) adventures, same bat-time, same bat-channel!

P.S. Reviews? Pleeeeeease? I need love to live!