Four hours later, Lily looked up from the paperwork she was pretending to fill out when her office door opened, and she smiled ruefully. "Hey there."
"Hey." Martin attempted to smile as he sat down in front of her desk.
"First of all, I have to say I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. This was,"
"My father's doing?" He interrupted. "Yeah, I figured that out. It has all the earmarks of a Victor Fitzgerald scheme to punish Jack Malone. What I need to know is why you felt you couldn't come to me and tell me what was going on."
The first tear escaped her eye and rolled down her cheek. "Because it wasn't supposed to happen this way. It wasn't supposed to be you." She looked at him shocked. "Yeah, I'd probably be speechless too." She took a deep breath. "OK, let me tell you how this usually goes." Wiping her face, she composed herself. "Normally, I'm given a box of personnel files from each agency that includes ten agents on the short list to make my team. There are no names, just fitness reports and the like. I then spend about a week sorting through them and making my decision. It's only then that I learn their names, after I've already submitted them for temporary reassignment."
"That's real good, Lil, but something tells me my father changed the rules this time."
"You always were able to see through the thickest of political veils." She forced a smile. "About a month ago, I get a phone call from Todd, Senator George, saying that he's changing thinks up for next session's selections. I'm to offer Vivian Johnson the supervisory agent role and tell her that she had her choice of agents to bring with her, all from the Missing Persons Unit. I withdrew Elena and Jack from the mix so it left you, Danny, and Samantha. Victor wanted me to remove your name, but I couldn't. I never expected Vivian to choose you. She was supposed to choose Danny. I'm sorry."
"Why?" He was in a state of shock.
"Because you weren't supposed to be put into harm's way." She wiped the tears that had reappeared on her cheeks.
"I can take care of myself, Lily. I really wish both you and my father would remember that I made it through Quantico on my own with no help from anyone."
"I know, Martin, I know." The tears began flowing faster as he walked to the window, his back to her. "But I've buried more members of my team than all of the other agencies have combined, save the CIA, and I didn't want to do that to you."
"Don't you think that I deserved to make that decision myself?"
"Martin,"
"When is everyone going to realize that I don't need anyone's help?"
"Martin," her voice cracked as her emotions got the best of her, "I never meant for this to happen."
"You never meant for what to happen? For me to find out or for me to be selected?" He seethed as he turned and glared at her.
"Both."
"You know," he looked away from her, "I was thinking of turning the position down, regardless of what it would look like in my jacket, because I didn't want to put you in a position of having to be my boss, but I don't even know you, so I don't think it's going to be a problem." Grabbing his coat, he slammed the door behind him as he left.
Lily collapsed into her chair, a sobbing mess of emotions, her face buried in her hands. "Diane," she said into the intercom after about a minute, "get me Victor Fitzgerald on the line. I don't care if you have to wake him up at home. I want to talk to him in the next five minutes."
"Yes, Ma'am."
"You son of a bitch!" Lily didn't care about politics two minutes later when she picked up Victor's call. "Do you realize just what you've done?"
"Lillian Anderson, one phone call to your father and you are out of a job. Do not take that tone with me." Victor shot back.
"You think you can threaten to sic my father on me? I don't care anymore, Victor. You have ruined the one thing in my life that I truly care about and for what? For some misplaced, too little too late, sense of fatherly love? Martin's taking the position, Victor, because we screwed up. We pushed him into taking a position because I listened to you. I let politics guide my decision and now I have lost the one thing in my life that ever mattered."
Just then, Martin barged into his office. "I'll call you back." He hung up and tried to force a smile. "Martin, Son, it's good to see you."
Martin landed a right cross against his father's jaw before the older man knew what was happening. "How dare you? My life, my career, is none of your concern. Stay out of my life!"
"Martin!" Victor came out of his state of shock as he rubbed his jaw. "Just listen to me. This was for your own good."
"How the hell is controlling what positions I take for my own good?"
"Because you will be governed only by the Patriot Act and most terrorists don't care that you are getting married to the woman of your dreams in less then a year before they start shooting. I have attended too many funerals for good agents who signed on to Lily's team and I will not attend yours. I called in this favor because I believe that Agent Johnson deserves the recognition she's not getting under Jack Malone,"
"No, you called in the favor because you've had a vendetta against Jack for years now."
"You are still my son. Whether you perceive a vendetta or not, you weren't supposed to be on the short list because I've already sat by your bedside watching you recover from a near fatal gunshot wound once already. I don't want to have to do it again."
"Then why was I on the short list? Why was I even up for consideration if I wasn't supposed to be picked?"
"Because Lily didn't want to be accused of steering Agent Johnson's decision." He motioned for his son to take a seat. "You see, Martin, it was my decision to limit who Vivian was allowed to choose and Lily rightfully chose to leave Agents Delgado and Malone out of the process. Leaving your name off would have been too suspicious and neither Lily nor I thought that you would actually be selected. Though Lily was the one who reminded me that you are a very capable agent, when you're not trying to punish me, and you would be fine."
It hit him like a ton of bricks. Lily had taken the blame rather than tell him that it was his father's doing because she didn't want to commit political suicide, or else ruin the fragile relationship that he and Victor had developed since the engagement. "From now on, Dad," he glared at the man behind the desk as he stood up, "don't do me any favors."
Lily leaned against the wall of windows at her condo and stared out at the lights of Washington D.C. She'd drafted her letter of resignation and it sat, signed, on her coffee table, ready to be handed to Todd whenever he arrived. Her job had ruined its last relationship. It just wasn't worth it any longer. Between her investments and her trust fund, she never had to work another day in her life, and she planned to spend as many days as it took trying to explain herself to Martin, until he took her back. She couldn't lose him again.
Suddenly, her important position that she had worked so hard to earn meant nothing. All the respect, the political power, all the accolades, left her feeling empty. Having had legislation that she'd drafted passed by Congress, being responsible for taking down sleeper cells, advising a Senate sub-committee, even having IOUs all over the city across the river from her window, were all hollow victories because she wasn't truly happy unless she was with Martin. "It's about time." She said as she went to answer the doorbell. "I called you forty-five minutes ago. Let me guess, traf–," her sentence caught in her throat when she opened the door. "Martin."
"I'm guessing you were expecting someone else because forty-five minutes ago I was slugging my father." He tried to smile, but her beautiful blue eyes were red and puffy from crying and her normal beautiful glow was gone, making her skin pale and ashen. "May I come in?"
"Mm hmm." She stepped aside, tears returning to her eyes as she closed the door, and she tried to take a deep breath.
"Lily," he placed his hand on her shoulder and felt her body hitch, "I'm sorry."
"No," she pulled away, turning to face him as she wiped the tears from her cheeks, "I'm the one who is sorry." Holding up her hand, she silenced him. "Please, Martin, just let me get through this."
"You don't have to, Lil. I know now that it wasn't your fault, that it was all my father."
"That's where you are wrong." She shook her head and walked back into the living room. "Because it is my fault. It's my fault because I went along with it, because I put my stupid career ahead of our relationship, and I don't know why other than to say that it's what because that's what I've always done. I've always tried to play the political game, to make my decisions based on what I can get down the road in terms of favors, and I lost sight that I was playing that game with your life. You did deserve to make the decision on your own."
Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her, tasting her tears as he did. "Stop it, Lil. I now know the whole story. I know that you didn't want to be accused of protecting the Director's son."
"Is that what I did?"
"It is, Lil." She shook her head and pulled away again. "Look, I had no right to take out my frustration at being perceived as Deputy Director Fitzgerald's kid out on you."
"Yes, you did, because that's exactly how I was treating you, and for once, I thought you might actually go with it."
He looked at her stunned. "When have you ever known me to accept a handout from my father?"
She kept her back to him, unwilling to see the anger, even hatred, which she thought was in his eyes. "I thought you might withdraw your name because I was being selfish. I was thinking of me, how I didn't want to have to be a widow before I was a wife."
"But you left my name on the list."
"I guess I didn't want to be accused of protecting the Deputy Director's son."
The smile on her face was sad when she turned back to face him. "Because you never thought that I would be chosen."
"No, I didn't, but I went back and reviewed the files the way I would have if I had told your father to go to hell, and I would have chosen you. I guess Vivian made the right choice."
"No," he kissed her again, "you did." As they embraced, her tears flowing like rain against his chest, he kissed the top of her head. "You can't lose me, Lil. Never again. I'm not going anywhere." Kissing her again, he carried her to the bedroom. He needed her closer than just in his arms. He'd almost thrown away the last year of their life together over something so stupid as not seeing one of his father's charades. Their fathers had separated them once before and he wasn't going to let that happen again. He loved her, he needed her, and he didn't care what it cost them.
When she felt him slide into her depths, she suddenly, finally, felt warm. Watching him storm out of her office had left her cold, even in the unusually warm Spring they were having. Without him, she felt dead inside, but as they moved together, the world began to fall away. All of her worries, her guilt, melting from the heat they created.