I know I promised TWO chapters, but I've only managed to finish on by today, cos this is longer than my average shit and I've had deadlines of doom this week, but fear not, the other will follow shortly. Maybe Tuesday, since I'm off home this weekend and might not get chance to post til then! And Gaz, if you're reading this, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY DID!!!

Chapter Twenty Five

Last time-

"Allen is coming home" he began and held up a hand to stave off the protests. "He's opening a connection straight to my office and we'll talk in here."

"Is it safe for him to use his powers like that? What if the other side starts to take over again?" asked Lenalee worriedly

"It should be fine" Komui said, trying to sound reassuring. Neither of the exorcists looked reassured, but didn't say anything. "Anyway, I think the plan is once he's been checked over" subjected to my superior scientific knowledge "he'll go back out and carry on trying to reverse the change. Apparently he's made some progress in that department since you two left. While that's going on I'll sort out some fake reports from the finder bases so the higher ups don't catch on."

"Isn't that a bit dangerous?" asked Lavi. "What of they find out?"

"It'll work for a while. Allen should be able to learn to hide the Noah characteristics soon enough." He glanced at the clock. "They'll be back soon, and I'd like Bookman present for this, if you'd fetch him for me Lavi."

As soon as the redhead had left Lenalee looked at her brother. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Komui sighed and slumped a little. "No, but it's the best plan we've got."

0o0o0o0o0

It was obvious as soon as Allen stepped through the Ark portal into Komui's office that he expected to be imprisoned straight away, because his greyish face was wary as he glanced around to see who was present in the room before entering fully.

His nervous expression didn't fade completely even as he took a seat on the familiar couch, and the room fell into silence, heavy and awkward. Allen shifted a little in the sofa, obviously uncomfortable with the way that those in the room were watching him.

Komui was noticeably insanely curious and desperate to question him but his curiosity was tempered by the need to protect Allen from the consequences of his answers. He was also regretting asking Bookman to be here for this, something about the way the old man was watching Allen didn't sit right with the supervisor. Bookman didn't appear to share the same concerns, and the look in his eyes was nothing short of hungry. It was this that bothered Allen the most and he stared at his knees rather than meet that probing gaze.

Neither Lavi nor Lenalee would look at him at all, their eyes travelling randomly around the office as they waited for someone to start talking.

After another minute or so with nothing breaching the tense unnatural stillness except for the quiet rustle of cloth and the nervous clearing of throats, Komui got to his feet and rounded the desk, standing in front of Allen, one arm across his chest and the other hand on his chin, rubbing thoughtfully rather like a comic book villain concocting an evil scheme. "Well, this is certainly an interesting look" he commented lightly. He leaned closer, almost nose to nose with the younger man, reaching out and poking the faint dark cross that marked the centre of his brow as if to test whether it hurt.

Allen's clouded eyes glanced up at him then, a slight scowl on his face as Komui tugged a lock of once-white hair. "Komui…" he said quietly, a warning to the supervisor not to push his luck.

"Oh phooey! You're no fun!" the older man pouted, stepping back to put some distance between them. "Now there are lots of questions that we want to ask you, as I'm sure you understand, but first…" and a manic gleam appeared in his dark eyes as he ducked down behind his desk. When he started to stand up, however, he gave Allen a quick wink that the younger man knew was only for his eyes. He tilted his head to one side fractionally to acknowledge that he'd seen the gesture, but couldn't help but wonder what Komui had up his sleeve.

When he realised, he almost, almost wished they'd just let Bookman and his questions at him. It would probably hurt less.

The bright yellow hard hat settled on Komui's dark hair with enthusiasm as the supervisor hefted a large drill from somewhere beyond the stacks of paper. "Let's have a look at your innocence, shall we?"

A resounding slam followed this statement, and Allen and Komui looked up to find they were alone in the office.

Allen grinned and Komui lowered the drill, looking very pleased with himself, before turning to face Allen again.

"Well, now we have some privacy…" Komui looked down at the drill then back up at Allen, who tried to back away. He wasn't too successful since he was still sitting in the couch. "Come on, Allen, I'm sure it won't hurt much!" wheedled the supervisor, approaching Allen with a wide grin and crazy eyes, hefting the weapon, err, medical instrument in one hand.

"It's the 'much' I'm worried about" Allen shot back as he attempted a sort of back-flop over the rear of the sofa.

"You need it looking at!" Komui said grumpily. "Are you willing to put others at risk because you're scared?"

Allen scowled at that and stopped trying to escape, instead sitting on a rickety wooden chair that Komui placed in front of his desk. Papers were carelessly swept aside to make room on the surface of the workspace, fluttering like autumn leaves all around them as Allen tried to convince himself that it would all be alright.

Komui sat behind his desk, setting the drill and the hard hat on the floor and turning to Allen's arm with a serious expression. As he worked he began talking again. "So, how are you?" he asked kindly, his dark eyes flashing up to meet Allen's for a moment.

"I've been better" Allen said with a small laugh. "It's hard work, but I'm managing to keep him under control. So long as I don't get angry." He gave a short one armed shrug.

Komui smiled sympathetically, noting the flinch that crossed the younger man's face when he touched his shoulder. "And how close are you to reversing the transformation?"

Allen sighed. "Not as close as I'd like." He looked at Komui seriously. "Won't you get in trouble for this?"

"There are some things more important than a job" the supervisor said quietly.

Allen shook his head. "Not your job. Without you, there would be no one looking out for the exorcists. Without you watching our backs, you know that we'd just be used as tools, weapons, not people."

"You need to worry more about yourself" Komui told him, levelling a screwdriver at his face and waggling it annoyingly. "If you were discovered, you'd be in far more trouble than I would." With a sigh he put his tools down. "I don't know how to tell you this, but your body is showing the first signs of rejecting your innocence. You've probably noticed it hurting more lately."

Allen nodded, not at all surprised by the news. "I thought as much. How long have I got?" he asked calmly.

Komui's brow furrowed in thought. "Three months at the most. It can't be much longer than that."

Allen's face twisted in distaste. "Wonderful."

"After the war is over, we can look at removing it before it drains your life completely."

Allen gave a small, sad smile. "That won't be necessary, Komui. It won't come to that."

Komui patted his arm in a friendly way. "It's good that you're being positive but-"

"I'm being realistic" corrected Allen softly. "There's not going to be an 'after the war' for me."

"But Allen…"

"If everything goes to plan, the Earl will be gone for good, that's all that matters. There's no time to think about the 'after' now." Allen said, trying to reassure the scientist. He was well aware that the chances of him coming out of the war alive were slim, but it seemed that everyone around him was determined to look on the bright side, hopelessly optimistic and blindly ignorant to the truth. "There is something I'd like to ask you, a favour if you will. I've already asked Kanda, but just in case…" here he paused, and for the first time allowed himself to accept the possibility that his lover would die before him. "…in case he can't do it for some reason." He waited for Komui's nod for him to continue. "If I do make it through, the chances are my innocence will be useless. As soon as that happens, the Noah will take over. If that happens, someone will need to make sure that he can't hurt anyone."

Komui shook his head. "When the war is over, we'll have time to work something out; don't start wishing for death so soon."

"The longer you leave it, the more chance those in charge will have of capturing him for study. He might be a Noah, but I don't wish that on anybody."

How noble of you muttered a mocking voice in the back of his mind. The dark had remained silent up till now, watching everything with something like amusement, and Allen winced slightly as the cold scornful tone rolled through his thoughts.

Komui sighed dejectedly. "Alright, but you know it won't come to that."

Allen gave the supervisor a small pitying smile. "Thank you."

Komui cleared his throat awkwardly. "Alright then, how about you answer some questions? Bookman will be upset that he isn't included of course, but some things are more important than some historic record." Like family.

0o0o0o0o0

Kanda clenched his fists at his sides, his eyes closed as he fought against the rising feeling of despair. He concentrated on steadying his breathing, only opening his eyes when it was once again somewhat normal. He had just arrived back in his and Allen's bedroom rough the Ark, not able to stand listening to Komui question Allen about what he had become any longer. He had been hovering in the doorway that lead from the Ark to Komui's office as Allen spoke to the supervisor, and the more he heard, the less he wanted to listen. Ever since he had first met Allen all those years before, he had criticized his optimism, and now that the youngest general's latent fatalism had surfaced, he wasn't sure if he liked it. Something was wrong about Allen being realistic; it just didn't sit right with him. And to hear Allen acknowledge that Kanda might not live long enough to fulfil his promise… he looked at the object that had caught his attention as soon as he walked into the room and felt the urge to smash something.

"Are you alright?"

He was surprised by Allen's voice right behind him- he hadn't heard the approach over the blood rushing in his ears and the pounding of his heart as he tried to regulate his panic. Slender arms wrapped around his waist from behind and Allen's chin appeared over his shoulder.

"Ah" was all Allen said as he saw what held Kanda's attention, and he leaned his head against the older man's in a small gesture of comfort. Anything else would only serve to rile the other man up more, since his pride demanded that he handle all his problems alone.

Kanda turned his attention back to the wilted lotus nestled within the beautifully carved wood and domed glass that protected it. Or more accurately, he looked at the two solitary petals that clung with grim stubbornness to the flower. "I'm never going to be rid of this curse" he said bitterly, and hating himself for it.

Allen tightened his grip for a moment. "Told you that you were too reckless" he commented lightly.

Kanda tried to glare at him, but the expression fell well short of even mildly scary. "As if you're one to talk" he huffed in reply, hating the fact that he sounded like nothing more than a petulant child.

"I'm sorry, I know 'I told you so' won't help" Allen apologised, still not moving from his position moulded against Kanda's back.

Kana had other ideas and brushed Allen's arms aside, draping a black cloth over the hourglass, hiding it from view. "Damn right it's not helping" he growled, shoulders hunched as he strode angrily away from his lover to stand at the window, scowling out at the vista beyond.

"Yuu…"

"Don't 'Yuu' me you fucking idiot" Kanda snapped heatedly. "I heard what Komui said about you, and you're a Goddamn fucking hypocrite!"

"Excuse me?" Allen said incredulously, staring at Kanda like he'd suddenly sprouted an extra head an a few tentacles for good measure. "You are hardly in a position to lecture me about hypocrisy!"

Kanda glared at him via the reflection in the window. "Oh really? I'm not the one fucking dying but still insisting on carrying on as though nothing's changed!"

"Are you sure about that?" retorted Allen in reply, levelling a finger at the hidden hourglass. "Because last I heard, that thing was counting down your life, but you pretend it isn't happening!"

"You have no idea what you're talking about Allen!" Kanda growled in reply, substituting the petname for the real one to press the point home. It seemed to work; Allen was frozen, shocked and speechless.

"What's that matter Allen? Don't like to hear a few home truths?"

"You Goddamn bloody bastard!" Allen said, clenching his fists at his sides in an attempt to restrain himself. "Don't you dare try and make this about me! We were talking about you, and the fact that one more attack might kill you!"

"Not all of us are as weak as you!" Kanda returned, feeling both guilty and exhilarated at the flinch that crossed the younger man's face. "So it's not alright for me to fight and die, but it's okay for you since all that will happen is the fucking Noah in you will take over and kill us all? And you expect me to clear up after you!"

"That's hardly fair!" protested Allen

"What's not fair is how you think different rules apply to you. When did you become so selfish?"

The only reply Allen had to that was to send his fist into Kanda's face. The other man had seen it coming but was just a second too slow to completely avoid it, and the fist caught him a glancing blow to the jaw. "Truth hurts, doesn't it?" he sneered mockingly, settling into a fighting stance as Allen came at him again.

"Selfish? You think I'm selfish?" cried the enraged exorcist, raining blows down on the other man in an attack that became more frenzied and less controlled as each move was skilfully dodged. Usually in hand to hand Allen had the advantage since Kanda was more used to a style that utilized the range of motion of a blade, but each of Allen's movements were exaggerated by anger and easy to read.

"Damn right" he snapped back, failing to block a blow to his stomach that would usually have bent him double but this time hardly even winded him. As soon as he realised that Allen was either unable or unwilling to use his full strength on him despite how heated the fight had become, his resolve slipped a little, but not enough to halt the vicious backhand he sent at Allen's face.

The younger man stumbled backwards in surprise, a small trickle of blood trailing from his nose. He blinked at Kanda, managing to look simultaneously annoyed, afraid and ashamed before his gaze fell to the floor as he slid down the wall and sat hugging his knees.

The sudden change in mood made Kanda pause, but until Allen acknowledged that he had a valid point, there was no way he was going to just let Allen sit there and wallow in self-pity. "Get up Moyashi, I wasn't finished."

Allen didn't look at him even as he sighed and rose to his feet without further complaint and Kanda couldn't help but feel his anger dissipate. He couldn't quite place what had changed in the last couple of minutes, but he was intelligent enough to realise that perhaps making Allen more angry while he was already having trouble keeping the dark urges of the Noah at bay was not the best idea.

"Dammit" he sighed, not sure what to do now. He pushed his hair from his eyes in exasperation.

"I'm sorry" Allen whispered, eyes still riveted to the floor.

"No, really, it…" Kanda sighed again, searching for something to say that wasn't an apology, but was close enough to one to try and fix this. "I didn't mean it like that" he said eventually. "I know you're not… I just meant… you don't think about what will happen to others after you pull some self-sacrificing shit. Have you ever considered what we would have to go through knowing that you died to save our lives?"

Allen finally looked at him. "Hypocrite" he said again.

Kanda rolled his eyes; the last thing he wanted now was the whole pointless argument to start up again. "No, I think about it, I just don't care."

"How is that any better?" Allen challenged, anger flaring in his eyes.

Kanda just shrugged expressively, refusing to be needled.

"Uh-huh" Allen said, leaning back against the wall, letting his head fall back against the stone, suddenly very tired.

Kanda came to stand in front of him, leaning against the slim frame and resting his chin on Allen's shoulder. He didn't say anything, or move his arms to hold the other man, just leaned into the warm body and sighed. Allen's hands found a place on Kanda's hips, gripping him possessively and drawing him closer. "Sorry" he mumbled again.

Kanda allowed himself to be shifted closer, moving his legs either side of Allen's to get as close as possible. "It's like you've accepted that no matter what you do, you're going to die. Like you've given up. That's not like you at all."

Allen wrapped his arms around Kanda's waist. "And here I thought you'd like the fact I'm being realistic for once." He squeezed his arms tighter. "And it's not like you aren't having exactly the same thoughts."

Kanda said nothing to deny that, knowing it was true. But he still didn't have to like it. He turned his head to the side so that when he spoke his lips brushed against Allen's exposed neck. "Doesn't mean I have to like it."

Allen shivered and closed his eyes, unconsciously moving his head so that more of his neck was accessible. "I'll try not to keep talking about it" he managed to say around a gasp of surprise as Kanda licked a long wet line up his throat.

"Good" Kanda said as he forced his left leg between Allen's and pressed him into the wall. Allen's arms moved from around his waist to clutching at his back and grabbing handfuls of hair as he arched into the cradle of the older man's body with a low groan.

"God I've missed this" he panted as Kanda's mouth moved from his neck to his jaw, biting down gently to coax Allen's head back from where it still rested on the wall behind him. As soon as he had, Kanda claimed his mouth with his own, nothing but a slow slide of lips as his hands took hold of Allen's hips and pulled him away from the wall so he could fully wrap his arms around the other man. Allen's hands clutched tighter, not entirely used to the slow pace and made a questioning noise into the kiss, and Kanda drew away, replacing his mouth with a finger. "Shhh."

Allen wasn't entirely happy at being 'shhhed' and was about to tell Kanda so, but the finger at his mouth was substituted with a pair of lips and a slow searching tongue and all thoughts of complaint fled. Kanda turned them away from the wall and pushed Allen backwards to the bed, only breaking the kiss when Allen's knees hit the edge of the mattress. Kanda let him go slowly, as though reluctant to do so, watching with eyes darkened with lust as the younger man reclined against the bedcovers temptingly, hair spread like a halo and arms above his head in silent invitation. Allen licked his lips alluringly; apparently unaware that he was doing so and made a small movement as he tried to find a more comfortable position, shuffling back across the double bed so his knees were no longer bent over the edge.

Kanda knelt at the bedside and began unfastening Allen's boots, pulling them free with calculated teasing slowness, dropping them to the floor so that the dull twin 'thunks' echoed around the room before crawling up over the lip of the mattress and pulling free the red ribbon around Allen's neck that he still insisted on wearing even now, with his teeth and slipping the satiny material across Allen's throat before tossing it away. Allen's eyes were fixed on the ceiling, which might have been slightly insulting if his breath hadn't been coming in rapid pants and if Kanda couldn't feel the growing hardness against his stomach as he lay over the trembling body.

He slid backwards, undoing the shirt buttons and pushing the material aside, running his fingers lightly against the skin that was exposed as he went.

As he slipped from the bed Allen followed him up, allowing the sleeves of the shirt to fall down his arms before he removed it completely, looking down at Kanda who was kneeling on the floor with wide expectant eyes and reaching down to pull the sleeveless black turtleneck over Kanda's head. He did it slowly, trailing his hands along Kanda's sides as he drew the material upwards, causing the older man to shudder as goosebumps rose in their wake.

Finally bare-chested, Kanda climbed back onto the bed, straddling Allen's waist as he pushed the other man back down onto the mattress. He held himself up on his arms as he hung over Allen, his hair slipping free of its confines and falling about them.

Allen stared up at Kanda, his chest constricting as he met those impossibly dark eyes. Usually Kanda went slow as a way to torment him, using the light teasing touches and lingering, unhurried kisses as a means of showing Allen who was in charge when it came to these encounters, but something about this was different to their usual play. The drawn-out touches no longer felt teasing, but as though Kanda was learning his body for the first time, studying it closely, and when Allen stared into those eyes, he saw no mocking expression, just an intense heated look that displayed all the emotions that the other man would never voice. Kanda was worried, scared for his own mortality and that of the man below him, knowing that every time they saw each other might be the last. Allen smiled gently, raising a hand to brush some of the midnight hair aside and lay his palm against Kanda's face. "Love you" he said, an impossibly warm feeling blooming in his heart as he saw the same words reflected in the depths of Kanda's dark blue eyes.

Kanda didn't reply, knowing he didn't have to, instead lowering himself onto his elbows and kissed Allen deeply, taking the other man's offered tongue into his own mouth and running his own against it, at some point becoming aware that the arm that Allen had around his neck before had gone and was at the fastening of his trousers, undoing the button and the fly and sliding the material slowly down his hips even as lithe fingers vanished below his waistband and grip his ass, bringing him down until he was lying flush against the body below his own.

Allen groaned into the kiss as Kanda's hips pressed against his arousal, but now he'd put them in this position he couldn't get Kanda's trousers any lower and neither could the other man reach for the fastenings of his own garments. He groaned again in frustration. In the one hand, they weren't going to get very far like this, but on the other, Kanda's weight pressed down on him was pretty good in itself.

Kanda sat back as though he knew exactly what was going on in Allen's head, a faint smirk on his features as he quickly undid the fastenings on Allen's trousers and stood, allowing gravity to pull his own down unaided. He took hold of the bottom of each leg of Allen's clothes and pulled them down with deliberate slowness, enjoying the sight that was revealed to him inch by inch as both trouser and underwear were pulled away at the same time.

Allen propped himself up on his elbows to watch as Kanda walked around the bed, tilting his head back as he walked behind him, rooting through one of the bedside drawers, finally locating and liberating the small bottle of oil and wiggling it at Allen with a raised eyebrow. Allen grinned in return, still looking at Kanda upside down. To his surprise Kanda didn't walk back round the bed, but pushed Allen back down and crawled over him. The surprise quickly turned into a lecherous grin as he realised what Kanda had in mind, watching as the oil was put to one side and Kanda lowered his head over Allen's erection, large sword calloused hands holding him down as he took him in his mouth.

Not wanting to be out done, Allen nudged Kanda's knees back a little so his groin hung closer to his face and, gripping Kanda's slim hips tightly, promptly swiped his tongue across the head. Kanda squirmed a little but otherwise paid no attention, and Allen would be dammed if he was going to come first and swiftly rose up on his elbows, taking it as far into his mouth as he could, ignoring the urge to gag as he felt Kanda hit the back of his throat. He swallowed tightly, the motion squeezing the head of Kanda's erection even as the other man mirrored the action.

The both moaned around the objects in their mouths.

Kanda sped up, his position enabling him more movement while Allen was pretty much pinned to the bed and could really only concentrate on not being choked, all the while gripping Kanda's thrusting hips firmly. He could feel his orgasm building, the familiar coiling sensation in his body and in his desire to make Kanda come first, moved his hands to fondle the other man's balls and grasp the base of his cock as he sucked forcefully with each thrust. This obviously surprised the dark haired man, for his mouth left Allen's erection as he gave a half-shout, half-moan and came violently, coating the back of Allen's throat with his seed, riding out the sensation before rapidly reapplying his mouth to Allen's neglected arousal, using tongue, teeth and hands to bring Allen to completion and collapsing bonelessly to one side, lying on his back and breathing heavily.

Allen threw his arm out to the side, resting his hand on Kanda's stomach and closing his eyes contentedly, only opening them again when he felt Kanda move, drawing away and turning round until they were once again face to face.

Allen grinned even as Kanda leaned down and kissed him, once again taking his time to map out the younger man's mouth with his tongue as his hands charted their way slowly down his body, fingertips touching with the lightest of caresses, dipping into the hollows between defined muscles and sliding along smooth ashen skin.

This wasn't about sex, it was so much deeper. Kanda rarely spoke about what he was feeling, preferring to show it through his actions, and Allen took comfort in the one thing he could hear loud and clear- some things may have changed, but Kanda still loved him, and even now, when everything in his life was in a state of flux, that was constant and there was nothing he cold have wished for more.

As usual, thanks to my lovely committed reviewers! Without you five I'd have lost the will to carry on long ago! Lovage to you all!

Fallendemise21-It's true, I didn't say that, but mainly because I didn't want to make any promises I couldn't keep lol. Anyway, it's here now!

Knux33- A lot of people seemed to like the whole LenaleexLavi baby thing! I was just writing the chapter in a lecture and before I knew it that had written itself…

MiniBloodyMurder- There, you see, I'm not a total sadistic moo, I couldn't have poor Allen suffer under Komui's probing (boy does that sound wrong!).

Babo123- Your review made all the pain go away! If people said such things to me all the time I would never need sleep again and would type until my fingers fell off! Thank you so much!

- Do you know I hadn't noticed that? I swear, I typed your name in, honestly! Stupid site. I don't know why that happened! I'm sorry! Don't hate me, I'm just the author! O_O; but dashes are very… dashing…

Ooh so exciting! Only five chapters to go!

An also:

Saiki518kuu- It's only getting good now? 7 chapters from the end? Lol, I fail at life!

Nuriko Kurosaki- Well you won't have to wait long! I plan to speed write the next couple of chapters.

CrimsonKitsune333- Why thank you very much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story!