Last I checked, Star Trek belonged to Paramount. Do I look like a big snowy mountain?

Chapter 5: Jitters

By Lelila

The rest of the evening was filled with stories about early romances and a lot of laughter. Shortly before 00:00 rolled around, Chakotay yawned mightily.

"Oh, I'm keeping you up!" Kathryn seemed aghast. "I should go." She started to get up.

Chakotay shook his head, grinning. "Kathryn, it's alright. I'm enjoying being with you."

Kathryn stopped before she slid off the sofa, looking back at him a bit shyly before letting her Captain's mask fall. "Still, I need my First Officer well-rested, and it probably couldn't hurt to get some sleep myself." The shyness evaporated and she smiled wryly at him before finally pushing to her feet.

Chakotay followed suit. "Well, I'd walk you to your door, but…"

"Yeah…" Kathryn looked away, pensive. "I need to set one more parameter, I'm afraid." She looked back, a bit sheepish. "I'm sorry."

Chakotay smiled patiently, taking her hand. "What is it?"

She heaved a breath and squared her shoulders before looking up into his eyes. "I need you not to push me. This was a difficult decision. It's going to be even more difficult trying to balance this and being the captain of this ship and your senior officer. The last thing I need is pressure from you. I promise I will listen if you want to talk about anything, but…"

"Kathryn," he cut her off for the second time that night, this time squeezing her hand. "I understand. And I'm already at peace with the idea of going at your pace."

Kathryn sighed, her face relaxing. "Thank you."

Chakotay took her other hand. "No need. I'm just glad you're willing to explore your real feelings."

Kathryn's face blossomed into that wonderful smile of hers and she stepped forward to wrap her arms around his neck. Chakotay returned the embrace, spreading his large hands over her ribs.

Kathryn pulled back far too soon for Chaktoay's liking, kissing him fondly before slipping from his touch. "Good night, Chakotay," she said softly before turning to go.

"Good night, Kathryn," he called after her. He watched her go, a light feeling of happiness in his chest, marred by a niggling of uncertainty in his stomach.

00000OOOOO00000

Kathryn slept fairly well that night, and the next morning started like any other. She inhaled a cup of coffee, took a sonic shower, dressed in her everyday uniform, twisted her hair into a bun, and applied her make-up. As she finished up with her lipstick, she took a moment to really look at herself.

She looked almost like a painted doll. The woman looking back at her with her bright red lipstick and severe hairdo was Captain Janeway, not Kathryn. A worrisome thought popped into her head: who was it that Chakotay wanted to be with? And despite the fact that she knew he would keep their secret, she still wondered if the crew would sense the change in their dynamic.

She pulled a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. She'd have to ponder this later; Captain Janeway was due on the bridge.

A few minutes later she strode onto the command deck, hoping she looked more confident than she felt.

"Captain on the bridge!" Harry chirped.

"As you were," Kathryn replied out of habit.

As she rounded the railing, she came face to face with Chakotay, still standing, waiting for her, just as he always was in this situation. A small smile pulled at the bow of his lips. "Good morning, Captain," he greeted her as he did every day.

She met his eyes, as she always did, but this time went a little weak in the knees. "Commander," she acknowledged, the word sounding overly formal in her ears. She swallowed. "Anything to report?" That sounded a little better.

"B'Elanna's running some system-wide diagnostics, causing some minor power fluctuations."

"Anything serious?"

"Just maintenance. The lights have flickered a few times, and it's gotten a bit warm, but we've survived." He grinned. "Hopefully we won't get caught in the dark for too long."

Kathryn raised her eyebrows at him. "Commander?"

"It'll be hard to get anything done with the lights off," he responded innocently.

"Uh huh," Kathryn shook her head and sat down, catching Chakotay's grin out of the corner of her eye. In an effort to distract herself, she scrolled through the list of waiting reports on the center console. Her nerves caused her stomach to poke at her; she wondered if maybe she should have had something to eat.

Before she had a chance to relax at all, Tuvok broke into her thoughts. "There is a vessel one million kilometers to starboard."

"Specifications?" Kathryn asked for clarification.

"A mid-sized freighter, 114 life forms aboard. It is not unlike the Lu'ushen vessel we recently had contact with."

"Lu'ushens?!" Kathryn was instantly on her feet. "Shields up! Weapons at-the-ready!" She slapped her comm badge. "Mr. Neelix, report to the bridge!"

"They are not taking an aggressive posture, Captain," Tuvok reported. "In fact, they are barely moving."

"I'm not taking any chances," she snapped. "Hail them."

"They are hailing us," Tuvok replied.

"Onscreen!"

A gray-skinned humanoid with a rounded ridge extending from each temple appeared on the large screen.

Kathryn walked to the center of the bridge, swallowing to force the lump of fear in her throat out of the way of her voicebox. She felt Chakotay draw up behind her and her stomach turned over. How would that look? She absently noticed the alien's ridges pale a bit as she squared her shoulders and drew a deep breath.

"I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation starship Voyager. What can we do for you?"

"Well, um…" the alien stammered. "We were hoping…"

"Hoping what, my friend?" Neelix's voice boomed from behind Kathryn.

The alien's face relaxed a little and the color of his ridges grew a bit darker as he recognized a familiar species. Still, he continued to stammer has he spoke. "We are…having some…some problems with our engines."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Neelix said as he arrived on the side of Kathryn opposite of Chakotay. "I don't want to speak for our captain, but if you're in need of some assistance…"

"Oh, yes!" The alien nearly fell out of his chair as the crux of his request was finally made clear. "This was supposed to be a short tourist flight, so we didn't bring an engineer. Now, we are nearly dead in space, and no one knows what to do!"

Kathryn relaxed a little; if he was telling the truth, this definitely gave them the upper hand. They certainly wouldn't be ramming them anytime soon. "We would be willing to let you speak with one of our engineers. She could assess the problem and then we could decide what the next steps should be."

The alien's ridges warmed to a soft pink. "Thank you, Captain. I don't know what we would have done had you not come along."

"One of our missions is to help those in need," Kathryn smiled. "May I ask your name?"

"Ky'rd D'Oyj, Captain of The Seeker."

"Well, Captain D'Oyj, I'll have my Chief Engineer contact you shortly."

Kathryn cut the transmission and sent Neelix to talk to B'Elanna. "Well, that's a great way to start the morning," she commented to no one in particular as the Talaxian entered the turbolift. "I'll be in my Ready Room." She turned on her heel and felt as though she marched into her office.

Her shoulders sagged as the door closed behind her. "That was a disaster," she muttered to herself. She stomped over to the replicator and ordered a coffee before dropping into her desk chair.

This was not going the way she had planned or hoped. She was sure – sure! – that everyone could tell there was something different between Chakotay and herself. Add to that a run-in with a race that had tried to kill them the last time they'd met and Kathryn couldn't have been more rattled.

She took a long pull on her coffee and picked up the first PADD on her desk. Thankfully, the report was able to keep her attention and she was able to calm down somewhat and resume her command persona. Still, she was so startled when her door chime rang that the PADD jumped from her hands and skittered over her desk and onto one of the chairs beyond.

She let her face fall into her hands for a moment before pulling a deep breath and squaring her shoulders. "Come!"

B'Elanna strode through the door and Kathryn caught the stray look she cast at the errant PADD. "Lieutenant. Were you able to get in touch with the Lu'ushen ship?"

"I was." B'Elanna shook her head. "They're a nervous lot, I must say."

Kathryn cocked an eyebrow, but didn't dispute the observation. "Were you able to help them?"

"Well…no. I think I know what their problem is – their injectors need to be recalibrated – but someone really needs to go over there to fix it. It's not something I can just walk someone through."

Kathryn pressed her lips together. After a moment of thought, she tapped her comm badge. "Janeway to Neelix."

"Yes, Captain?"

"Would you join me in my Ready Room please?"

"On my way!"

She repeated the summons to Tuvok and went to get a cup of coffee from the replicator.

"Are you alright, Captain?" B'Elanna asked.

Kathryn had to hold her mug with two hands to keep from spilling the precious liquid. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You seem almost as nervous as those Lu'ushens."

"Well, they did almost destroy two whole decks the last time we encountered them," Kathryn partially fibbed. "The last thing I want is a repeat of that."

"Of course, but…" B'Elanna persisted, but was interrupted by Tuvok and Neelix's arrival.

"Ah, Gentlemen, prompt as always." Kathryn babbled, waving them all up to sit on the sofa. "Mr. Neelix, you know this race better than any of the rest of us. What are your feelings? Could this be some kind of deception?"

"I really don't think so, Captain," the Talaxian replied. "My experience with them has always been straightforward and cordial, even friendly. I believe that they really are having problems with their ship."

"Oh, there's no doubt about that," B'Elanna interjected. "Even some basic scans with our sensors showed some major trouble over there."

"Nevertheless," Tuvok pointed out, "sensor data can be falsified."

"True," Kathryn began to relax a little into her command persona, taking comfort in the Starfleet tenants. "Still, we have no evidence that they are anything but what they say they are, and we can't hold them responsible for others' actions simply because they are the same race." She pulled a deep breath, having made her decision. "B'Elanna, how much time would it take to affect their repairs?"

"Two or three hours."

"How many people would you need?"

"Just one, other than myself."

Kathryn nodded. "Very well. Choose your assistant and be ready to go in one hour. Tuvok, I want you to put together a small security team to go with them, just as a precaution. Neelix, I'd like you to go with them as well as a…cultural translator. Act as a buffer between our people and theirs, just to smooth over any potential misunderstandings."

"A wise idea, Captain!" Neelix agreed unnecessarily. "You can count on me!"

Kathryn gave him a tolerant smile. "Good. Be ready to go in one hour. I'll inform the Lu'ushen captain. Questions?" When she received nothing but a couple of slight head shakes, she answered with a sharp nod. "Good. Dismissed."

As her crewmen left her office, Kathryn exhaled a slow breath and then swallowed the last of her coffee. Having to make a few decisions had calmed her considerably. She called the Lu'ushen ship and informed them of the impending visit. The alien captain seemed much calmer during this call and thanked her warmly.

She started in on her morning slog of reports again, feeling more and more normal as time went on. She was informed when the Away Team left, but, aside from the worry she felt for all Away Teams, it didn't bother her. She absently called "Come!" when her door chime rang an hour or so later.

Chakotay entered, PADD in hand and a businesslike look on his face. Katheryn looked up and felt a shiver run down her spine as she realized who it was. Determined to be professional while on duty, she swallowed, sat up straight, pulled a deep breath and squared her shoulders. "Commander?"

"I have an update from the Away Team," he answered just as professionally. "The repairs are going smoothly and the Lu'ushens are being friendly and helpful."

"Good news," Kathryn nodded. "Estimated time of return?"

"Another hour or two."

"Excellent. I look forward to their reports."

Chakotay stood there in silence for a long, quiet moment. "Is there anything further?" Kathryn asked.

"Are you all right, Captain?"

Kathryn glared at him. "Chakotay, we talked about this," she chastised in a loud whisper. "I thought it was understood that…"

Chakotay held up a hand. "I'm speaking as your First Officer."

Kathryn heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry. I've been so on edge today…"

"About the Lu'ushens?"

Kathryn looked sheepish. "And…other things."

Chakotay smiled softly and sat down in one of the chairs across from her. "I have too, actually," he confessed.

"Really?" Kathryn was surprised.

"I was so sure I was being more…familiar than usual."

"Me too!" Kathryn laughed in relief. "Do you think we actually have been?"

"I've been out there thinking, and honestly, no, I don't. We're always friendly. I think it would be stranger if we weren't."

Kathryn chewed her lower lip a moment as she considered his statement. "You're probably right," she said after a moment. "We just have to remember that nothing's changed outside of our quarters."

Chakotay gave a definitive nod. "Right."

"Well then," Kathryn pulled a deep breath and straightened her posture. "Was there anything else, Commander?"

"No, Captain." He stood. "I'll let you know if we hear anything more from the Away Team."

"Thank you. Dismissed."

Chakotay nodded and turned to go.

"Oh, Commander?" Kathryn called after him.

He stopped and pivoted. "Captain?"

"Dinner tonight, my quarters. 18:00 hours."

He grinned. "Aye, Captain."

I've had this one written for a while, it's just taken me this long to sit down and edit it and add a few notes. Real Life has been very busy lately!

This is mostly a bridge/rising action chapter. You'll see. ;-)