(Okay I lied. The REALLY interesting stuff is in the next chapter, which will be up right after this one. I started writing and realized that there was no way this could fit in one chapter. So enjoy Lunch Pt,1. :))

omg lik dramaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!1! hop u lik it, chelsea end persy r so cute in thissssssssssssssssssss!1!

with my loyal lik flowers, we march intoo the cafeteriah cutely, perfect hair end expensi- expe- ugh i cant pronounce it relly lik money lots shoez. i seriously cant beliv new gill maria poopy er whoever, end that betrayer MIKA. but et least i hav marysue shez a tru frend.

so we go to our usual tabel, witch is in the middle of the cafeteria so everyonee nos who we our. but it WAS TAKENNNNNNNNNN!1!BY THE PERSY SQUAD!?END MIKA WUZ WITH THEM!111111111111111!

GRr im so madde i will go end set it strayt with them. exept persy end nico, becuz they were saved fer moi end marysue. i think ill keep blond boy too, just fer pepple to be jelous dat they hav one bf end i hav too.

but az the rest of are squad found a diffrent tabel, me end marysue march up to them end decid we willl demand cutely fer the tabel back. also we will knock persy, nico, and blondie out with our delicious smelling victoriaz secrete perfume, end drag them back to are tabel.

we get there...end mexican leo elf end breadstick nico are HOLDING HANDS!?1!?WUTTTTTT? lik theyre both lik dudez, wut?! one of them is probably bleeding er somethin, end the other is lik bandaging there hand up er something.

we get their, end persy is hiding under deh tabel, end dumb ANNINEBRTH sayz annoyinedly "Do you want Percy again? I swear, every girl in this building follows him around like a pack of dogs. Literally it feels like we're in some exaggerated fanfiction right now it's amazing how girls love him, considering he hasn't showered in two days."

uh HOW DAR UUUU i say meanly but stil cutely, dats offensive to persy. yer jelous u just wish you were hisz bae lik meEEE!1!

anniethehth just stabs her salad ungracefulyy with her fork end laughs grossly. "He is my boyfriend silly. There's plenty of other people at this school, go after them."

i heer pocahontas gill (can I just put this disclaimer right here that I don't mean any of the stupid things Chelsea says? The girl she is so eloquently describing is Piper) that kinda looks lik tristan mclean whisperz to black gill with weird eyez (again, don't mean anything Chelsea says) "Annabeth's not getting possessive. That means she doesn't think this girls a threat. So not a monster, just a really vapid mortal." Black gill with weird eyez sayz "Don't you think it's weird how no monsters have attacked us at all since we got to school? It's almost like someone is preventing them from coming for the sake of petty drama with the students and general hilarity of a reader if writer were to potentially make a transcript of this" uh wut she talkz lik shez sevety ew

well i say, trieing to get the convo back on moi, ignoring dat pocahontas gill called me a mortal lik wut even doez dat men. i tell den dat i want mah tabel back, end i end marysue will fight fer it.

blondie boy sayz "But I thought you could just pick a table. We didn't realize it was yours." blondie boy is cute, so i giv himz a pass fer sitting at moi'z tabel. omg fin u can sit her, just tellz me yer nam i sayz cutely.

"Jason. Now can you go way?" cutely i strut awayz lik yeh. but wherez marysue?!1!?1?! eh wutevr, ill just get a salad end wait fer her.

menwile, in marysue'z pov

In the span of one school assembly and the first ten minutes of lunch, that Chelsea girl already considers me her best friend? Wow, it's going to be so easy to take over this school. Obviously, I'm so much more appealing and intelligent than she is. While she's busy fighting for a stupid table, I'm talking to my boyfriend Nico.

I strut up to him in an attractive way, which isn't that difficult considering I'm perfect. My outfit accentuates how lovely and pure I am, with my daringly tight and short dress (Kim Kardashian owns the same one!) and adorable seven inch heels. I make sure to get close to him, so he can smell the entire perfume bottle I spray on myself every morning. For some reason he's looking at me weird, so I sit myself down in his lap and start stroking his hair.

He pushes me onto the ground and tells me to go away! What?! How dare he! I quickly tell him that it's not nice to push your girlfriend, and he has the nerve to laugh and tell me to go away? He tells me he's never met me before, which totally doesn't make sense, because obviously we've been dating since I saw him at the assembly, when I announced it to the world.

I try to kiss him, but then a hand comes out of the way and slaps me! I fall over, wilting like a damsel in distress, hoping that my precious Nico will help me up. He just laughs?! I get back up angrily, ready to injure whoever tried to get between me and Nico. Oh, it's that Piper girl, who I have in my math class. She has no talent or class, who does she think she is, some celebrity's daughter? I know I am, my mom's dad's brother's uncle's sister's babysitter's nephews's dog's mom's owner's sister is Beyonce. Anyway, as I helplessly struggle to stand up, Piper glares down at me and pulls me aside. I flail helplessly, trying to signal to my boyfriend that I was being attacked. But alas, to no luck as he was busy staring into the eyes of that scrawny mexican kid. Naturally they were probably fighting over me. I have that effect on boys, obviously being the beautiful, attractive, darling girl I am.

Unfortunately, Piper still has me pinned to the wall, and as I attractively beg for mercy, she rudely puts it off with "Stop that pitiful whining. You sound like a constipated goose high on skittles, and that's putting it nicely. Now look here. You and your little friend Chelsea do not mess with Percy and Annabeth or Leo and Nico. You don't know anything about Nico, so stop pretending that you're meant for each other, if you knew some stuff about him you would turn around and act like he's the trash of the world. I am both Percabeth and Valdangelo trash #1, so you better not get in my way. I know people like you when I see one, so do us all a favor and leave him alone."

She says the last part so compellingly that I actually want to listen to her, but obviously I know that she's wrong. Nico and I are meant to be and I will love him forever. But Piper may be right about one thing. I don't know enough about him, but I will soon. Adorably, I head back to my table with a plan in my head, to destroy Piper, Leo, and make sure that Nico is mine once and FOR ALL.

omg wut will hadplen?! chelsea end marysue our lik so amazingz end bootiful, they wil totallie git nico end persy

(Marya/marysue's point of view. That was a thing. Also I threw in a Phandom reference, so shoutout to all the people who got that. I'm not very good at writing in the perspectives of Rick's characters yet, so bear with me while they all sound the same and are absolutely devoid of their own personalities. Next chapter will be the second half of lunch, where some high class internet stalking happens. Leave a review, tell me if my story sucks or not, I love constructive criticism, and if you want a character added or anything specific to happen, just let me know. Thank you for reading and have a lovely day!)