Small Talk
chapter 2

He still needed to work up the courage to talk to her. Sure, he could hold a conversation with her, say hello, ask her how her day was, maybe see what crazy thing she had planned for lunch, but the thought of really talking to her about something so personal scared him to death. He had so much to answer to, and he knew that Orihime would never let him blame himself. She chose on her own to go to the Soul Society, to fight, and everything that's happened since then was a result of that choice. In the end, she was the key to what seemed like an impossible win. If it wasn't for her, he wasn't sure where he, or any of their other friends, would be. That, however, didn't make him feel less guilty about being the one to put her into those circumstances.

The school day was winding down, and Ichigo just wanted to get home. He took his time in gathering his things and putting them in his bag. When he got up to leave, he noticed that everyone in the class had already gone, everyone except Orihime. He wasn't sure if she was waiting for him, but when she turned around and was a little startled by his presence, he knew that wasn't the case.

"Ah, Kurosaki-kun, you're still here too?" she asked with that smile of hers. It made him weak. It was so hard for him to just scowl and push her aside like he would with anyone else when she smiled like that.

"Um, yeah, I guess I'm a little slow today."

"Everything now probably seems a little slower to Kurosaki-kun."

"I think I need to be peaceful like this for awhile," he replied, just trying his hardest to make conversation without all those questions flooding into his head. There were a million things in his head that he wanted to ask her; a million things that he wanted to know. None of which he could just blurt out. She just stood in front him, unsure of what to say next. Maybe this was the perfect time to at least try to get some of those questions answered. He remembered something Tatsuki told him the day after his talk with her on the walkway, when she caught up with him the next to see if he was really going to talk to her.

I know there's not much more I should say, but have you ever thought that she feels the same way? Maybe she wants to talk to you but can't bring herself to do it?

"Inoue, would you like me to, um, walk you home?" he asked with a slightly nervous waver in his tone. He noticed a slight blush crept up on her cheeks as she paused before replying.

"Yeah, that would be…nice," she said, her nervousness matching his.

Without a word between them, she followed him out of the classroom. Once they were in the hall, she took a few quick paces to catch up next to him. He noticed and looked over to her only to catch another smile. He offered, in response, what few people would call a smile, but when his default expression was a scowl, dropping that was just as much a smile as her grins.

After going down to their shoe lockers and trading out their shoes, they both headed out of the school. Ichigo, although glad to have gotten up the nerve to at least make the first step, hoped to all hell that they weren't spotted leaving together. Their comments and jibes (he knew they'd make some kind of comment that she's too good for him) would only wither any confidence that he'd built up. He decided it would be best to just keep his head up and walk out with her alongside, just like he would any other day walking home on his own. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Chizuru. He just kept walking, hoping that he blocked the very vocal lesbian's view of Orihime.

He didn't take a breath until they were out of the schoolyard, or at least that was when he noticed that he was breathing again.

They walked towards her apartment, talking most of the way. Well, she was the one doing most of the talking. He just would look at her every so often to watch just how exuberant she was when she told even the simplest story. He tried his best to pay attention, but he started to get lost somewhere around the time she started talking this dream she had in class about robot assassins. It's when he watched her like this that he really understood about what Tatsuki told him. There was something about her that managed to penetrate the barrier he'd put up so long ago. That personality of hers somehow managed to make him feel so carefree.

Before he knew it, they were at her apartment, right in front of the door. He cursed himself for being unable to focus long enough to get out what he needed to get out. Then he thought that maybe it would be best to keep walking her home, and after awhile, he'd be more comfortable with telling her. If he ever told Tatsuki about stalling like that, she'd probably send his head through another window.

"Wait, Inoue," he said as she was unlocking the door. She looked up at him with those big brown eyes, and he faltered for a second. "I-I need to talk to you."

"Would you like to come in?" she asked, blushing yet again. He just replied with a nod and a short grunt.

Walking in, he instantly remembered the last time he was there. This time there was no huge screen on her wall with the stern image of Ukitake telling him he thinks that she very well could be dead. There was just silence as they both removed their shoes and stepped into the main room. "Would you like some tea, or something?"

"Yeah, sure, that's fine."

Orihime disappeared into the kitchen, and he was left alone in the moderate-sized room. There really wasn't that much of anything in her apartment, just the necessities and a few decorations. There was a small shrine for her brother set up on a low table next to the TV. Not wanting to poke around too much, Ichigo took a seat on the couch and tried his best to stay calm. He still didn't know exactly what he was going to say to her, but he knew that he needed to apologize, even if she probably wouldn't want him to.

Orihime walked out of the kitchen with a tray and two mugs of tea. Ichigo took one. Looking into the clear green-tinted water, he realized that he didn't really want tea in the first place. He kept his glance at his mug as Orihime sat next to him.

"So what is it you needed to tell me, Kurosaki-kun?" she asked as bright as the afternoon sun. He looked at her to see her beaming at him.

Relax, this is Inoue. She's the last person who would judge or blame you, he thought, reassuring himself.

"A lot had happened in the past few months, and there's just been a lot of things in my head," he paused to let out a deep breath. "I'm not good with this kinda stuff, but I wanna say that I'm sorry for letting you get taken like that. I promised you that I'd get stronger so you wouldn't get hurt, and I didn't live up to that."

"There was nothing you could have done. There's no need to–"

"Inoue," he said to keep her from saying anything else. "I've felt guilty about this for awhile now, and even if you don't accept my apology, I'm still sorry that this happened."

Seeing the look on his face, she knew that there really was nothing more to say. His warm brown eyes had that intensity to them, and his brow remained furrowed. She loved that face. It was intense, but it was also comforting. Whenever he looked at her like that to reassure her, she knew he wasn't lying. He was just as serious about this as he was when he made the promise to get stronger and protect her.

"Thank you, Kurosaki-kun. I'm not sure if I ever could thank you enough for everything. Not just you either, everyone risked their lives and got themselves so beat up just for me."

"I'm sure you would have done if it was anyone else in that situation."

"But that doesn't make me any less thankful," she said with a soft giggle. That effectively stopped the conversation. Ichigo was hard pressed to go on when she looked so happy. He didn't want to be nosey, but he honestly wanted to know what had happened to her when he wasn't there. It wouldn't hurt to ask, right? She could just say that she didn't want to talk about it, but that probably would have made him worry more.

"There's something else," he said softly, staring back at the tea he'd still yet to drink. "When I was fighting Grimmjaw, he said there there was something going on inside of you. I know you look fine, but I still wonder if there was something that happened over there that hurt you or something and I–" he paused, trying to search for the words. "It's just that, ever since we came back, you've haven't changed, but I've been questioning that for some reason. I probably shouldn't, but I am. I can't make you tell me anything. All of this stuff, it's been a mess in my head."

He still had that look. It was like a firm sincerity, a trait she figured only he possessed. Who else could scowl so deep, yet be so kind?

She still had her reservations about telling him. Setting down her tea on the coffee table in front of them, she looked down at her lap. He'd get angry, and he'd blame himself again. She didn't want to burden him with that. None of this was his fault. Despite how much he'd grown physically and emotionally throughout this whole ordeal, there were times when all she could see was a sad little boy who carries a self-imposed burden to protect everyone he cares about. A burden that made him put his life behind everyone else's. That little boy would only get hurt if she told him, but she felt like she owed too much to him to keep secrets like this from him. It was because of him that she got stronger. He awoke the power within her. Watching his confidence grow as he got stronger so that he knew nothing would beat him made her only want the same. She worked hard and stumbled along the way, but it was his presence that inspired her. For that, she'd always be grateful. "It's okay, Inoue. You can tell me when–"

"Just promise me that you won't get upset," she blurted out before he could finish. With that kind of a warning, Ichigo knew what she was going to say would upset him, but he couldn't do anything but agree and try his damnedest to not react harshly. She looked at him and felt an odd sense of calm. This was the kind Kurosaki-kun she loved so dearly, so there was nothing to be ashamed of.

With a slight hesitation, she went on and told him everything once she set foot in Hucedo Mundo. From healing Grimmjaw's arm just to have him impale Luppi in the next moment, to watching the outcome of Rukia's fight, to having those two arrancar girls beat her up, she told him everything but visiting him that night before she was taken. She was still a little too embarrassed to tell him about that. Plus, it's not like that would change anything. The last thing she wanted now was to burden him with her feelings.

His only reaction, the only reaction that seemed proper given his earlier promise, was silence.

"Look, Inoue, I …" he trailed off as he caught a glimpse of her to see a tear trail down her cheek.

"Ah, I'm sorry," she said wiping the tear from her face. "I thought that I was better. I thought that everything else that had happened to make up for that; being able to finally help all of you would make up for everything happened there. Not just what happened when I got there, but all of the fighting and death would be better if I could just help you. And I did. I did help you, so remembering all this shouldn't make me upset. I'm sorry. I'm just being silly," she said smiling, despite more tears trailing down her face.

"You don't need to apologize," he said softly, trying to make his gruff voice sound as gentle as possible. He hated seeing her like this, but he had no idea what to do. He wasn't good with words, so he'd just said the only thing that could come into his head just then and probably make things worse. When Yuzu cried, he'd just fumble out some words, ruffle her hair, offer her a smile, and maybe some ice cream if they had any. He couldn't do that with Orihime. He could make light of the situation, but he wanted so bad to let her know that everything was fine. He turned to her and just reached out, his hand lightly gripping her shoulder. "It's okay," he said softly, scooting closer to her. There was something in him, some little voice in his head, moving him closer to her. That something had come over him, and in a few moments he had his arms around her.

Orihime was at a bit of a loss. She was being hugged by the boy she'd loved for so long. Not only that, but he'd been thinking about her and her situation. He worried about how she was feeling. She didn't want to get her hopes up even now, but he was so warm. There was something about his warmth, his scent, that made her break down a little more. Everything that she'd been holding inside felt like it was ganging up on her, waiting to pour out of every inch of her body. She didn't want to scare him away, but she couldn't help it. A whole new wave of tears poured out of her as she let go of last bits of regret and sorrow that had been clinging to her. She wrapped her arms around him, savoring the comfort, holding onto him until she could feel the end in sight, and hoping that he didn't mind her gripping onto him just a little tighter.

Embracing her was almost like a reflex, so when she responded with more tears, Ichigo wasn't quite sure what to make of it. He just wanted her to feel better and making her cry more was the last thing he wanted. After minutes of crying, he felt her breath slowly return to normal. Hearing a few soft sniffles and slowly released his grip. "Are you okay?" he asked as she wiped the remaining tears from her face.

Nervous at first, she looked up at him to see one of his more gentle looks. It was the one that came from concern.

"Yes, thank you, Kurosaki-kun. I think I needed to do that," she replied, still seated quite close to him. Looking at his chest she noticed a damp spot on his shirt. She reached out for it, stopping just short of touching it. "Oh, I got your shirt wet," she said softly.

"Don't worry about it. It'll dry," he replied looking down to see the tear stains himself. "As long as you're feeling better now, it's okay."

She looked up at him. Tears wanted to form again from hearing his words combined with the soft expression he now had, but she held back. Instead, she decided a change of subject was in order.

"Do you want to stay for dinner? I don't have much, but I'm sure I can make something for the both of us. I think I have enough to make some tsukune with my special sweet bean, mustard, and butter sauce on top."

"Well, I've been trying to make it up to Yuzu for being gone so long, so I should be getting home for dinner." Thankfully he had an honest excuse to skip that meal, but he had a feeling that one of these days he'd be trapped into eating one of her concoctions.

"Of course, because Kurosaki-kun is so kind," she said with a sweet smile. He didn't try to refute her claim, but it still felt odd to be called kind.

They got up and she saw him to the door. "I know I've been thanking you a lot today, but I want to thank you again," she said as he watched him get his shoes on. "It feels good to have talked about all of this with someone. I didn't want to tell Tatsuki-chan. I didn't want to upset her any more, and I missed her a lot. When I came home, I decided that I only wanted to smile when I saw Tatsuki-chan. It was good to finally let it all out, but I think now that, maybe it'd be a good thing to tell her."

"Yeah, I'm sure she'd like to know, even if it's tough to hear," he said standing up after tying his shoes. "You know, if Tatsuki's at practice, and there's no one to walk home with, and I'm around, we could walk home together … again, or something."

"That'd be great," she said beaming.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school," he said, opening the door. She said her farewell and watched him leave her apartment. Closing the door behind him, she lingered in the entryway, leaning against the door. Taking in a deep breath, she could still smell his scent lingering in the room. Smiling, she moved on and got ready to make dinner.