Maybe, She wouldn't be Gone

by Syrenna

InuxKag Kagome was gone, before Inuyasha ever got the chance to tell her. And he knew it was entirely his fault. All because he let her walk.

15. If I Had Loved Her This Much All Along

I Decided to put the lyrics to Blake Shelton's 'She Wouldn't Be Gone' in this chapter because of what the chapter is about.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS! I nearly cried at the amount. Keep them coming, they're fuel to my fire.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, or any songs in this fanfic

Chapter 15:

If I Had Loved Her This Much All Along

Red roadside wild flower,
if I'd only picked you,
took you home and set you on the counter,
oh at least a time or two,
maybe she'd have thought it through.
Yellow sunset dipping in the rear view,
oh how she loved to sit and watch you,
I could have done that a whole lot more.

If I hadn't been so stubborn,
been so selfish,
thought about her more,
thought about me less.
Joked to make her laugh,
held her when she cried,
a little more of that, maybe i..

Wouldn't be driving like hell,
flying like crazy down the highway,
calling everyone we know,
stopping any place she might be,
going anywhere she might go.
Beating on the dash,
screaming out her name at the windshield,
tears soaking up my face.
if I'd have loved her this much all along,
maybe, maybe, yeah maybe,
she wouldn't be gone.

She warned me it was coming,
said if I didn't change she'd be leaving.
I just didn't believe
she'd ever really walk out.
God I believe her now.
Called her momma,
cried like a baby to her best friend,
if they've seen her they ain't saying,
they ain't saying.
Now I'm cursing like a fool,
praying it ain't too late,
all i wanna do is fix my mistakes.
Find her, beg her, for one more try,
until then damn it I'll..

Be driving like hell,
flying like crazy down the highway,
calling everyone we know,
stopping any place she might be,
going anywhere she might go.

Beating on the dash,
screaming out her name at the windshield,
tears soaking up my face.
If I'd have loved her this much all along,
maybe, maybe, yeah maybe,
she wouldn't be gone.

I wouldn't be beating on the dash,
screaming out her name at the windshield,
tears soaking up my face.
if I'd have loved her this much all along,
maybe, maybe, yeah maybe,
she wouldn't be gone.

Red roadside wild flower,
if I'd only picked you,
took you home and set you on the counter,
oh at least a time or two,
maybe she'd have thought it through.

Inuyasha sighed as he sat in a tree. Miroku's voice still ringing in his ears. He hadn't slept that night. He tried, but dreams of Kagome screaming his name filled his head. He didn't want to leave Kagome. But he thought that they both needed some time alone to think.

"Kagome..." He whispered, he rested his head back on the tree trunk and closed his eyes. He hadn't seen Kagome since she sat him, almost 2 days ago. He hadn't slept since the night before he turned human. He cursed Miroku for filling his head with such things, since now they plagued his dreams. He kept his eyes closed and tried not to think of anything for a moment. In doing so he fell asleep.

"Inuyasha? Where are you?" Inuyasha opened one eye and looked down at the ground. There stood Kagome. Her hair was all wavy and blowing in the summer wind, she had on a pair of tan shorts, white tennis shoes, and a baby blue tank top. She looked up in the tree and smiled at him. "Hey buddy! I've been calling for you for ten minutes! I need your help!" Inuyasha blinked a couple times but jumped out of the tree. 'Why is it so warm? It's almost winter. How did I get so close to the well?' He looked at Kagome again. Her stormy blue eyes were glittering in the sunshine. Wait...stormy blue!? What was going on???

"Inuyasha!?" He snapped out of his trance. Was it all a dream? He could smell Kagome's sweet scent. He sighed. "Sorry, I had the worst dream. It seemed like it went on forever." Kagome raised a concerned brow and touched his cheek. Inuyasha inwardly smiled at her warm touch. "Are you ok? Maybe you should go cool down. It's really hot out and you're wearing all those layers." Inuyasha only feh'd. "Did you need my help or what?"

Kagome beamed again. "Right! I need help carrying my bags!" Inuyasha followed her to the well. "Why do you have two?" "Because one wasn't enough." Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Smart ass." He grumbled and picked both of them up. "I learned from the best." She laughed and pulled at his ear playfully.

Once at the village, Kagome smiled and waved Sango and Miroku over. "Hey Kagome! Were you successful?" Sango asked. Kagome nodded. Inuyasha raised a brow. "Successful at what?" Kagome grinned. "Well since it's SO hot out. I thought we could all go swimming together. And we want to swim with you guys and all of us being naked would be WAAAAAY too awkward. So, I bought everyone swim suits!" Sango cheered and hugged Kagome. Miroku and Inuyasha just exchanged confused glances. "Let's go to the river!" The yelled in unison. The men just followed. "What's a bathing suit?" Miroku asked Inuyasha. He could only shrug.

Once there, Kagome made Inuyasha and Miroku PROMISE not to peek while she changed and helped Sango change. Once done they came out. Sango was blushing horribly. And the two guys were just staring, mouths a gape. Sango had on a black tankini. The top was haltered and tied around her neck, it had pink pin strips going around it. Kagome wore a green bikini. The top was also a halter, but had thicker straps and the bottoms were really short shorts. She smiled and threw two pairs of trunks at the boys and pushed them behind a bush.

Once they changed Inuyasha came out in a black and blue pair while Miroku wore black and purple. Miroku wasted no time getting into the water with Sango and Kagome. They laughed and splashed each other and occasionally hit Miroku on the head. Kagome blinked and noticed Inuyasha sitting on the river bank. She swam over to him and sat next to him.

"You not getting in?" She asked, her whole body dripping. Inuyasha blushed. "I don't need a bath." He muttered. Kagome laughed. "Inuyasha, please, I just want today to be fun and relaxing before we start our journey again." Inuyasha said nothing. Kagome sighed. "I figured you wouldn't get in. I just thought I'd try." She shrugged and was about to get up. Inuyasha grabbed her wrist and kept her seated. "Why do you try so hard to include me? You guys are having a perfectly good time just the three of you."

Kagome gave Inuyasha a quick peck on the cheek. "I love you Inuyasha. You're my best friend. And nothing could ever be as fun as hanging around with you." She stood up, leaving a blushing hanyou on the ground. "Now, are you going to get in, or do I have to force you in?" Inuyasha laughed at her hopped up. Her grabbed Kagome and heaved her over his head. He laughed as she screamed at him to put her down. "Oh, down? OK!" And then he threw her into the river.

The rest of the day was spent with the four of them swimming and laughing and playing. When the arrived back at Kaede's hut. The kitsune, who had had a cold, was feeling better and now laughing at the four bright red lobsters in front of him. "Okay, so...in all the excitement, I forgot to tell everyone...including myself to put on sunblock." "Kagome!" They all groaned.

Inuyasha woke up and looked around. It was dark and the early winter's air blew through his hair. He sighed as he thought back to his dream. He remembered going swimming at the river, and they all ended up burned. That was about 2 weeks before Kagome died. He growled. Everything had felt and smelled so real. He thought for sure Kagome was really there. He placed a hand on his cheek. That kiss felt so real.

Why didn't he say he loved her too. "Maybe if I had said it. She would've known I meant it another way. We could've talked and then, she wouldn't have left." He looked up at the starry sky suddenly lilacs and honey filled his noes he looked down and saw Rin. The now 12 year old girl that followed his brother Sesshomaru around. Although he didn't smell his brother nor Jaken. The young girl seemed angry. She was stomping through the forest grumbling about something. Inuyasha jumped down and startled her.

"Sorry Rin, it's just me." Rin blinked and then smiled. "Lord Inuyasha, how are you?" He smiled at the girl. "Ok. What are you doing out here so late? Where's Sesshomaru and Jaken?" Rin growled. "I don't need them by me all the time! I can defend myself! I'm not a baby anymore!" She growled, just then he smelled her bleeding. Inuyasha looked oddly at her. "Rin, are you bleeding!? What happened? Who hurt you?" Rin blushed and back up. "Nothing! God you're almost as bad as Lord Sesshomaru! Where's Lady Kagome!? I need to talk to her." At hearing her name, Inuyasha's expression softened. Kagome was always like Rin's big sister. Kagome would often leave stuff for Rin. And anytime Rin needed her, Kagome would be there. Inuyasha never told Rin that Kagome had died.

"Rin, Kagome died about three months ago." Rin looked like her heart was broken. "Wh-what? Why didn't you find me? I could've had Lord Sesshomaru bring her back!" Inuyasha sighed, honestly that thought never ran through his head. It didn't have time to. Inuyasha explained the rest to Rin.

"So. She's here, but has no memory of anyone?" Inuyasha nodded. After a moment of silence Inuyasha cleared his throat. "Is there anything I can help you with?" Rin blushed. "I ummm....well...you see...."

"Rin." Rin and Inuyasha jumped as Sesshomaru appeared. Rin blushed and hmpf'ed. "I'm not coming back with you Lord Sesshomaru. I can handle things on my own!" Inuyasha wanted to laugh at this site, for all the times Sesshomaru mocked him over Kagome's stubbornness, but the fact that Rin was bleeding concerned him.

"Rin, why do you want to talk to Kagome." Inuyasha asked. Rin sighed, frustration obviously getting to her. She stood up, her fists balled up. "Fine! I'm bleeding from between my legs and Lady Kagome said to come to HER when that happened and she'd help me. Not you two MEN!" Inuyasha and even Sesshomaru blushed. 'She's on that period thing.' He thought.

Inuyasha smirked over at Sesshomaru,who was looking everywhere but at the two of them. "Rin, like I said, Kagome is not herself right now. But I will tell her about this when I see her tomorrow. Go to the well tomorrow evening and Kagome will be there ok." Rin sighed and nodded. "Okay, thank you Inuyasha." She sighed as she walked back to Lord Sesshomaru who was obviously confused, embarrassed and worried about the young girl. Once they left Inuyasha shook his head and chuckled. He remembered the first time Kagome had her "time of the month" around him.

She was actually really good at calculating it perfectly so she could stay home until it was over. But after 8 months of traveling together. Kagome was too far away from the well and couldn't get back in time.

FLASHBACK

*Sniff Sniff*

"Kagome! Are you wounded? Why are you bleeding." Kagome groaned in frustration. Now Inuyasha, Shippo and their new traveling companion, Miroku were looking at her worried. God she would've loved a woman there right about now. "It's NOTHING! Back off would ya!" She snapped. But Inuyasha ignored it. "No! You're bleeding! I can smell it! It smells like a lot of blood too!" He started sniffing all over her and when he sniffed the spot, Kagome growled and sat him. "I'm on my damn period! Mind your own business!" And with that Kagome stormed off.

::

Inuyasha laughed. ' She had to explain what a period was every month for 5 months after that...'

He walked around the forest as the sun began to rise. He made to the Scared Tree and sighed.

"Kikyo! Kikyo! Who ever SHE is she's NOT me! Because my name is KAGOME!"

"Ka-Go-Me." He smiled.

He headed to the well and sat on the lip. And looked towards the forest.

"I was afraid."

"Inuyasha...w-what are you doing?"

"I thought I was going to lose you. I was terrified."

'I thought for sure Sesshomaru had killed her that day. I wanted her to go home. To be safe forever, but she came back....for me.'

He looked down the well.

"Hey Inuyasha! Can you help me out of here!?"

"Feh! Do it yourself!"

"Inuyasha! It's raining! I can't get a grip on anything!"

"Pain in my ass..."

'Why didn't I just help her out? Why did I give her such a hard time?'

He jumped up and headed to a tree that stood hundreds of feet up. He jumped to the very top and looked at the carving.

"Inuyasha and Kagome"

"What are you doing?"

"Well, I think since we've been friends for two years, we should have a super secret spot. And what better spot than this?" She finished carving their names into the tree trunk.

Inuyasha sighed and jumped down from the tree. He started walking up the hill towards the village.

"Kagome, why did you come back?"

"Heh, I guess because the thought of living without you was too much to bear. Like I told you before Inuyasha. I know I cannot replace Kikyo. And I don't want to be her replacement. But I care for you. And I want to be with you."

Inuyasha looked at the village from the top of the hill.

"Inuyasha!!" Kagome yelled as she ran up to hug him. "Don't ever run off to battle someone alone again! I don't care if you think I'll get hurt! I can't stand the fact that I didn't know where you were or if you were hurt or not!"

"Kagome I...."

"Yes?"

"Ok....thanks..."

'Maybe if I had told her that I loved her. If I told her that I cared for her. Maybe, Maybe She wouldn't be gone.'