You Have GOT To Be Kidding Me!

Disclaimer: I do NOT owe Lord of the Ring

Author's Note: Hello. Welcome to applepie1989 first LOTR fanfic. I am a newbie in this and thus hope that if there are some wrong information given or some ooc-ness in the characters, please forgive me. Feel free to email me and review on this story. Still unsure if this is a marysue… Dedicating this story to my three best friends in this world. grin

ENJOY THE STORY!

Chapter 1 – I found a cursed book, how nice.

Lord of the Rings, an epic adventure spun from the mind of Tolkien, now had already been made into a 3 – part movie that was never to be forgotten.

Frodo the ring bearer, Sam, his ever loyal friend, Pippin and Merry two jokers who never fails to lighten up the mood yet were forced to grow up, Aragorn a destined king-to-be fulfilling his duty, Boromir, though tempted by the One ring, he did not betray his code of honor and died gallantly, Gimli son of Glolin, the short tempered dwarf who is both loyal and quite skilled with an axe, and finally of course, Legolas prince of mirkwood, the finest archer in Middle Earth and err.. erhmm, well popular with fangirls on Earth in both real life and in the world of fanfictions. Boy, you can never believe how many legomance fanfics are there.

For me, well, sadly to say, I am quite in fact addicted to legomance related fanfics, especially nicely written ones. And I too wish to be able to enter Middle Earth and fall in love with one of the elves there. But hey, it's all unreal!

Why fall in love with an imaginary character? Some more, how will the real legolas be like in both appearance and character if there is really such thing as Middle Earth? Even I feel that Haldir is soo much more beautiful than Legolas in the movie. (No offence to the Orlando Bloom fans grin He has good features.)

I read the one of the three books written by Tolkein himself and it was simply amazing…… In my mind, I was thinking 'Whoa, this guy had actually spun poems and songs all from his own mind and even Elvish!' I hope to get my own set of the Trilogy, perhaps when I have a job with a high salary. I also managed to catch 2 of the 3 movies on it!

One of my biggest dreams is to enter Middle Earth and see the lands and the fabled sceneries of Rivendell, Lothlorien, Mirkwood, Shire and much more! After all, I have seen the scenes from the movies and it was breathtaking… I wished I could go there and draw these scenes down myself… sigh..

Well, enough about that and let me introduce myself.

My name is Jacqueline Chow, an Asian in fact and I lived in the sunny island on Singapore. For those who do not know where the heck is Singapore, it's a tiny red dot on the world map in Asia. grin

I am in fact on my way to become an adult (seventeen… sigh I am growing older..) and am a plump, optimistic and cheerful person. I do not have any beautiful or amazing features, ( a flat nose, chubby cheeks, short jet black hair and a few pimples here and there) and am shortsighted. I am currently studying design in a polytechnic and love to sit back and watch anime, read comics, eat and draw during my free time. But I mostly surf net… (ARGH! FOR GOD'S Sake! I am suppose to work hard for my future ahead and yet I am playing?)

It all begins when I have just started my term break and am busy surfing the net to read fanfictions when….

"You have got to be frigging kidding me? The website is temporary out of service!" I groaned as I saw the 'out of service' warning on my elder brother's laptop screen. "Now I have to wait for a few days just to finish reading that legomance fanfic…" With a great sigh, I closed off the window and shut down the laptop. I leaned back against the office chair my elder brother; Jonathan, had in his room and closed my eyes in defeat.

Nearby birds could be heard chirping from the nearby HDB blocks and the sounds of heavy traffic filled the hot humid afternoon atmosphere. 'Yup, life in Singapore is always the same… always school, eat and sleep for me,' I thought with a ghost smile on my lips as I remembered the hectic period of my studio project. I have already gotten used to the poly environment and had made many friends of all sorts. Although the Studio Project was over and I was currently enjoying my holidays, I could not help but missed my new classmates and my old friends in secondary school.

'I wonder how Canthini and Betsy are in their lives now.'

I grinned at all the fun times I had with my two best friends in secondary school back then. And now, I wished we could stay together still, chatting and having fun, for it seems that we were gradually going apart, even though we sent emails and chatted on the phone with each other occasionally. I sighed again, this time with more sadness.

Although I had made many friends in my poly, I had not have one whom I can really confided myself with. To share my sadness, joy and my darkest secrets with. Canthini had left for her overseas studies in America whereas Betsy had herself busy in her Junior College. I could only depend on emails and phone calls to at least keep in touch with each other, but the bonds we had were loosening. Still, we tried our best to be there for each other, and that, I was most thankful of.

I have always admired the strong friendship Legolas and Gimli had for each other in LOTR. It's quite nice actually to find a bosom friend whom you are willing to die and protect for. I am willing to help my friends when needed and to sacrifice, but, I wished someone will do the same for me too. Perhaps I am still too young to yet experience such friendship in my life…

"Argh! I should stop being so sentimental on myself. Sheesh!" I cried as I immediately stood up from my seat and paced around.

"I am so alone. Mum is on holiday and won't be back til Friday, Dad is working, Jon in NS (National Service aka army) and Jarret in school. So what am I going to do now?"

By cue, my stomach grumbled in hunger.

I sweatdropped.

"Okay… so I shall buy lunch then. " With that, I grabbed my keys, my wallet, my mp3 and my handphone and went out of the door.

And thus I was off to the hawker centre nearby my HDB block.

I was walking back from the hawker centre and into the an open air carpark, feeling full from the lunch when I saw a book lying on the middle of the road in front of me.

'Eh? A book?' I thought.

Being filled with curiosity and seeing that there were no cars coming from both ends; I jogged to the book and picked it up carefully.

Hey, who would not be curious if one saw a nicely made velvet cover book lying on the middle of the road? I would!

"Looks quite new in fact… Quite strange that someone would just leave such a neat book on the ground and forgot about it…"

I narrowed my eyes at the cover of the book and widened my eyes.

"Woah! Why, its 'There and Back Again – A Hobbit's Tale by Bilbo Baggins'! I had never known Tolkein had made this book. Is it a limited edition of the version of 'The Hobbit'? Eh, wait a minute… there's another title… 'Lord of the Ring by Frodo Baggins'…… now this is getting interesting…" I thought in amusement and was about to flip the pages…

"HONK HONK!"

I jumped and only to notice a lorry in front of me, wanting me to get off the road quick to drive through. I grinned apologetically at the driver and jogged back to my block, and entered the lift, panting slightly. I pressed the button to the 21st floor and with the lift doors closed shut, I opened the book.

"Okay… so let us see what this version of the Hobbit and the Lord of the Ring has!" I grinned to myself and started to flip through the pages with renewed curiosity, after all, I had never read 'The Hobbit' yet.

"For two stories by two tale weaver Baggins, this is a very thin book. Now that's stranger… hmm… first page, cool cover page… looks like Bilbo's handwriting itself and I believe the bottom title is Frodo's! Haha, yeah right. I bet this publisher must have requested a person to do such things… Still it's pretty neat though…"

I flipped to the next page and noticed a poem there.

"One Ring to rule them all,

One Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all

And in the darkness bind them…

…That's the writings on the One Ring isn't it? I thought… this book should start off with Bilbo's story right?" I stared questionably at the cursive yet unique writings on the page and touched the writings gently.

"Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul..."

"What the! WOAH!"

Just then, there was an earthquake and shook the entire lift. I dropped the book and managed to grab the metal bar on my left for support.

"Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul…"

"What the heck is going on!" I screamed and grasped the bar tighter into my embrace as the strange chanting became louder and louder along side with the earthquake.

'I am going to puke and die! Mom! Dad! Jonathan! Jarret! Canthini! Betsy! Someone! Make this stop! ' I closed my eyes tightly and prayed for all this to end, not noticing the book starting to glow.

"If Lord you can hear me, PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! AND I WILL START ATTENDING CHURCHES ON SUNDAY! PLEASE!"

Suddenly a great burst of light came out from the book and before I knew,

I was in darkness……

Hello Minna (Everyone in Japanese for those who dun know,)

So this is the next chapter. Hope you enjoy and continue reading.

The preview on the prologue is for the upcoming 3rd chapter. Sorry for the mishap.

For those who review, thanks a million.