Chapter Thirty- Six

In the previous chapter (Thirty-Five) I said Nudge found out she was due in December, I made a mistake I should have said November. Sorry.

Have I ever told you of any good memories I have of my dad from when I was little? I do have some, many in fact. I guess sometimes I forgot about the good stuff because of all the bad. But he was a good man, and a good father in the bigger picture, he just loved my mother so much that when she died he did not know how to keep on living without her. I know that now.

When Ella and I were about eleven and nine we were playing in the backyard throwing stones over the fence at Mr Rudders property. Mr Rudders was a grumpy old man who never liked us kids. He would always yell over the fence for us to be quiet.

We had accidentally smashed Mr Rudders' bathroom window, luckily he wasn't in there, but boy was he mad. He came storming over yelled at us. Dad came storming out of the house and yelled right back at him, defending us.

Mum sent us to bed without dinner that night, but dad sneaked it in to us, he hadn't said anything until he had put it down on the desk and walked to the door where he turned back to us and said, 'this is the first and only time I'll do this' he then went to leave but turned back the corner of his mouth turning up, and said 'good shot'.

When I was little I use to go fishing with my dad a lot. We would go down to the beach and sit on the peer and just sit there for hours and fish. We wouldn't actually walk to one another, not because we didn't have anything to say, but because we were so comfortable in each others company that we didn't feel the need. Sometimes we would sit there for five hours, others only an hour, but how ever long it was, I treasure those moments.

"Max. I never see you any more." Dad says, as I collected my keys, phone, and purse up off the bench at dad's house. I had come over here to pick up Ella, who even though she's just turned eighteen, has vowed that she never wants go get her licence, and there for refuses to start learning to drive. We made plans to go see a movie together today then go out for lunch.

"Max! I'm talking to you." He adds raising his voice slightly.

"I've been busy." I say not looking up at him.

"You hardly ever come home."

"I have my own home now, and I'm at school full time."

"Ella hardly sees you." He says and I look up at him.

"What are you talking about? We see each other all the time."

"I hardly see you. Are you avoiding me?" He asks looking frustrated.

I try to swallow the sudden guilt I feel towards him. "I'm not avoiding you dad. I told you, I've been busy. And anyway, I'm here now aren't I?" I say the last part harsher then I had intended.

"To take Ella with you."

"What do you want from me?"

"I want to see my daughter."

"You've had so many chances since mum died to see me dad. Where have you been?" I look into his eyes and don't find what I'm looking for, I'm not really sure what that was, all I know is it wasn't there.

"You see me now, I have to go." I head to the door and yell. "Ella, I'll meet you in the car."

That was a bit mean I know.

I only have to wait a minute before Ella joins me in my car. She puts her bag down on the floor at her feet, does her seat belt up, and then turns her head to look at me with a raised eyebrow.

We stare at each other for a moment before I speak.

"What?" I ask softly.

"Will you ever forgive him?" She asks sadly.

"Forgive him? For what? I'm not holding resentful feelings against him or anything."

Ella looks at me like I'm mad. "You don't fool me. You don't fool anyone! Fang asked me just the other day if you were okay. He said he's worried about you. He said dad rings you quite regularly and you ignore the calls.

Dad's making an effort Max. He knows he screwed up. He knows he wasn't there when we needed him more then anything. We've had this conversation before. I felt betrayed as well when we found out about Lana, how Mum had been sick for so long and we hadn't known. God Max. I hurt as well, but I'm making an effort with Dad. And things are good between us, better then they have been in a really long time. We talk and I know I can talk to him about anything.

Because he's all we have left. He's the only parent we have. I know he loves us more then anything. No one can ever replace mum. And no one can replace dad. Life's to short. Grow up. I'm tired. I want things to be like they use to be. I want to be able to sit down at the table and have a meal with you and dad. I don't want to feel like I'm betraying you when I spend time with him." She frowns at me; I can see desperation in her eyes.

"Ella." I begin but she interrupts me.

"I know you've tried to forgive him. And you've said you have. You know you should, but you can't. I understand you Max."

"I want more then anything for us all to be happy Ella."

"I know."

"I just can't..."

"I know."

"I can't look at him with out thinking about all the bad stuff."

"Can you try to make an effort? For me?" She asks.

"I'll try hard Ella. I'll tell you what, why don't we ring dad and ask him to meet us for lunch after the movie?" I ask.

"That sounds good. Thanks Max." Ella grins at me. "You're an okay sister." She pushes my leg playfully.

"Yeah, you're not so bad yourself." I tell her with a laugh.

Ella and I went to the movie's, then Ella called dad and invited him to lunch. We agreed to meet at the small Italian restaurant we use to go to when we were little. Ella and I got to the restaurant fifteen minutes late and dad wasn't there yet.

"How's Nudge going? I haven't talked to her for a couple days." Ella says, looking at me over the water she's drinking.

"She's going great. We've already got the cot set up in her room and we're working on baby proofing the apartment, and she's still got six months to go. She's being very organised. Though, she is eating every thing out of the fridge. She ate all of the cupcakes our neighbour made me after I looked after her dog for the week."

"What? Your neighbour gave you a container of twenty-four cupcakes!" Ella exclaimed.

"She said she was hungry."

"Gees."

"I hope she at least felt ill afterwards."

"Nope, she went on to eat a whole packet of potato crisps." I tell her with a laugh.

Ella's eyes widen.

"I know right." I say as my phone rings. I pull it out of my pocket and look at the caller ID. Fang.

I hit ignore. I can call him back later. He knows I'm out to lunch with Ella and Dad. I had texted and invited him, but he had messaged back saying it should just be the three of us. A couple moments after I received that message he had sent another saying. Proud of you Babe.

"You don't want to take that?" Ella asks.

"It's Fang. I can call him back later." I say. "So how's year twelve going?"

"Oh, you know, I'm crazy busy and have heaps of work, but, it's okay. I'll be happy when it's all over."

"Hm, It goes past fast-" I stop talking when my phone rings again. I look down at it. "It's Fang again. I better take it, if he's this desperate to talk to me." I grin at Ella then pick my phone up.

"Hello." I say. I can hear ragged breathing.

"Babe." He says after a moment. I can hear some things not right.

"What's wrong?" I ask, my heart sinking.

"Where are you?"

"At the restaurant." I say, putting my hand over my other ear so I can here him better.

"I'm gonna come get you."

"What? Why? Fang, I told you I'm having lunch with dad."

"I know, Max- there's been an accident-"

I sit up straight pressing the phone harder to my ear. "Are you alright?"

"Max?" Ella says my name from next to me.

"Yes. Max- it's your dad." Fang says.

"What's happened?"

"Meet me out front of the restaurant."

"Is he alright? Fang? IS HE ALRIGHT?"

"No- I'm on my way Baby." He hangs up and I put the phone down from my ear and stare at it in shock.

"Get up." I say to Ella grabbing her hand.

"What's going on?" She asks with wide eyes she picks up her bag and quickly follows me out of the restaurant. I take a moment and get my emotions in check.

"Ella. Dad's been in an accident."