BACK TO AMERICA:
I heard the beeping of a heart monitor next to me. My stomach felt like it was on fire. I looked around, and I saw no one. Why was I here? Suddenly I remembered, there was an attack and I was shot. Was Maxon okay?
The beeping of the monitor accelerated with my heartbeat and I heard some shuffling. "America, darling, you need to calm down." Suddenly, the man I love was hovering over me. "You were shot by a rebel in the attack. You've just woken up from surgery and your heart needs to rest." His eyes began to well up with tears.
"Maxon, what happened?" He said nothing and I felt my own eyes becoming wet. I knew something was wrong.
"America, we lost the baby."
What? No, surely I misunderstood. I was pregnant and we were having a baby. We were just discussing names this morning. Or rather, I was shooting down Maxon's terrible ideas for names this morning. Was that right? Only hours ago?
My hand went to my stomach and I winced when my hand touched thick bandages.
"Where's the rebel that shot me?" My eyes met Maxon's and all I saw in them was loss. "Maxon where is he?" I tried again but he still couldn't answer me.
I tried to get out of the bed, swinging my legs over the side. I looked down and realized I had dozens of tubes connected to me. I ripped them out as fast as I could. An alarm shrieked next to me and I heard footsteps running in my direction.
No, no, I have to get away. I have to find him. I kept fighting and felt a hand clamp down on my arm. Several hands held me down to the bed. I kept trying to fight, but my muscles weren't responding anymore. I watched someone put something that looked like a sedative into my IV. No, I have to get to him. He killed my baby. He killed my baby.
I slipped back into the darkness.
When I woke again, I was not alone this time. But it was not the King who was asleep next to my bed. It was Aspen.
I shifted my body to look at him and the effort of moving sent my heart monitor into another spasm. The noise woke him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I whispered.
"It's alright America, I'm glad you're awake." He studied me for a moment. I could tell he was trying to read me, trying to gauge how I was feeling, not only physically, but emotionally as well. But I wasn't his to read anymore. It seemed he wasn't as good at it anymore. "You've had quite the shock today. How are you feeling?" He settled on coming right out and asking me.
"I'm fine," I said the first thing that came to mind. "I don't have any pain," I muttered weakly. Aspen's gaze turned hard and confirmed what I already knew. That's not what he was asking.
"I honestly don't know how to feel, Aspen. I had just gotten used to the idea of a child and just became happy about it. My first reaction was rage, but look what that got me. They knocked me out again," I stared into the sheets. "So apparently that's not the right answer."
Aspen chuckled pathetically. "Maxon told me the same thing."
"You talked to him?" I asked in wonder. Maxon and Aspen were cordial, friendly even, since they both realized the other one was a permanent part of my life. Nevertheless, I was surprised Maxon would go to him over such an intimate thing in our lives.
"He called on Marlee and I while you were in surgery. I think he needed to surround himself with people who loved you too so he wouldn't feel so alone. He lost a child too, Mer." Aspen's words sat like a weight on my chest. We'd lost our child.
It was as if someone had thrown water on the fire that burned in me. Burned in the pain in my stomach and burned in the fury in my heart. Suddenly, that fire was gone. The tension melted out of my body, and I felt as if I physically couldn't hold myself together anymore. The flood gates opened.
My body was overcome with the force of my sobs as my hopes and dreams for my unborn child bled out of my heart. Dreams of holding her in my arms, dreams of her first steps, dreams of her coronation as queen. They all rode the tears down my face and into oblivion. Aspen shoved aside the sheet and climbed into the narrow hospital bed with me. He wrapped his arms around me and I turned my face into his shirt. He simply held me as I ruined his shirt and let the life of my little one run out of me.