The studio was chaos as people were running around to prep for what they thought would be a huge episode. The official announcement of my pregnancy.
They were right about one aspect. There would be an announcement. But it wouldn't be that there was a baby inside me.
As I watched, I tried to run over the speech I'd prepared to tell the country tonight. I went over it several times, not realizing that I was saying it outloud until Maxon's voice from behind me muttered, "That's lovely, darling."
I jumped at this and spun to face him. "You like it?" I asked once my heartrate recovered, to which he nodded.
A crewmember rushed past us and pushed his thin frame into a clumsy bow while calling to us, "Thirty seconds Your Majesties," without even slowing down. Maxon planted a quick kiss on my lips and took his position behind the podium for opening remarks. He would bring me up later.
As I numbly moved to my seat, I saw Aspen in the crowd. We made eye contact for a split second before his eyes flicked down to the notecard I had in my hand and then back up to my face. I brought a hand up to my stomach to communicate from across the room what I was about to tell the country. I watched him sigh. He didn't like the publicity of this either. Sometimes we are so alike I marvel at how we were ever a functioning couple. Or how I ever thought I could live without him.
Behind some bulky equipment a sourceless voice calls "Five, Four, Three, Two-" and my butt just hit my throne as he finished, "One."
"Good evening Illea," Maxon spoke, his voice full of the authority he used when he needed to be the King. He spoke on foreign affairs and other domestic issues for a few minutes before pausing to look back at me, questioning me with his gaze. Are you ready? It's now or never. I rose from my seat and joined him at the front of the stage.
"Hello everyone," I greeted. "By now, I'm sure you've all heard the news that I was pregnant with an heir. It's true. I was pregnant. But the palace suffered another rebel attack earlier this week, in which I was injured. Through surgery to remove the bullet, I-" my voice cracked as my composure began to crumble. Keep it together, America. You're on TV. The whole country is watching. "I lost-" I tried again but this time my words were interrupted by the swelling in one's throat when you begin to cry. I turned away from the cameras, not wanting to cry in front of them, and Maxon was rushing to my side. He grabbed me and pulled me to his chest just as the sobs began. My tears stained his shirt but he just held me and whispered in my ear. Though I couldn't make out what he was saying over my sniffling, his voice and his arms held me together in front of the nation.
I don't know how long Maxon would've let this go on if Gavril hadn't stepped up to the podium and taken the microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, please excuse the King and Queen as they grieve," he said, nodding to us that we could leave if we wanted to. I felt Maxon nod a thank you before he lead me off stage. It was then that he swung me into his arms and carried me to our bedroom, not trusting me to make it on my own. He set me under the covers and climbed in himself, both of us still fully clothed for the Report. As I drifted off into a fitful sleep, the last thing I noticed was the taste of mine and Maxon's tears mixing together on the pillows.