Revenant Girl
Chapter II—Old Doll
"What are we doing, godfather?"
"We're collecting research data on the endermen. I thought I told you that already."
"But they're just standing there!"
"Why yes! Isn't it exciting?"
Jesse shook her head.
"Haha… of course a child like you would not understand yet. But sooner or later you will learn to appreciate the inner beauty of endermen, and who knows? Someday you might grow up to be an enderman expert."
"But I don't really like endermen…"
Her godfather dismissed her claim with a swat of his hand. "Nonsense! Endermen are wonderful creatures, yes? Perhaps when you grow up your opinion on these fellow mobs will change."
Jesse snorted as she rested her head on her arms. They currently seated on comfortable chairs overlooking a massive forest behind a large window, all in the comfort of her godfather's fortress. Due to the thick canopy providing much shade, an abundance of mobs would spawn, including endermen. Her godfather had a few pieces of paper secured on a clipboard as he scribbled down notes with a pencil. He appeared to be enthusiastic about his research. Good for him, because Jesse was definitely not having a great time.
Her godfather had promised that she would enjoy being his research assistant. He made it sound so thrilling and enticing, thus she agreed to take on the role.
The first few minutes were rather exciting. He gave Jesse a pair of binoculars to observe the endermen and she would report to him her findings. She was able to see them picking up random blocks and carry it around like it was some sort of sacred treasure. She also noticed how an ethereal purple mist seemed to embrace their stick figures, and how their eyes glowed the same eerie shade of purple. However, as time dragged on, Jesse no longer could find any new observation of the mob. They either stood there with their hands empty, or holding a block and walking aimlessly around the forest. She was getting rather bored, but her godfather was somehow able to find some sort of unnameable joy in watching the endermen standing cluelessly or walk around with blocks in their hands.
It wasn't long before Jesse was lulled to sleep by her godfather's endless lecture about endermen. When she woke up, he was absent from his chair.
Jesse thought that he just went for a restroom break, but after twenty minutes she got restless and decided to find her mother. Maybe she was busy with another redstone contraption and she could help her. It would be much more entertaining than watching that boring black mob.
When Jesse arrived at her mother's assigned bedroom, she was about to knock when she heard angry whispers behind the door.
"I thought we agreed on this!" Her godfather said.
"Don't blame me, blame him! He doesn't want me and Jesse to visit you so frequently anymore! He's starting to get suspicious." Her mother replied.
"Well, why not I come to you instead?"
"NO! What the nether are you thinking! He'll just kick you out!"
Her godfather groaned in annoyance. There was a screech of something being dragged across the stone floor. "So how are you going to solve this issue?"
Her mother let out a muffled groan. "I don't know how we're gonna do this without giving Jesse an inkling of what's going on…"
What were they talking about? What about not letting her know whatever that was going on between them? How did all of this relate to her father? So many questions swarmed in Jesse's head, but there were no answers to all those questions.
Just then, footsteps approached the door. She hurriedly took a few steps back and tried to make a run for it…
"...sse."
"Je...e"
"Jess….eee."
"Jesse!"
Jesse yelped as she flung her arms wildly, smacking the person next to her on his cheek.
The person rubbed his sore cheek as he glared at the culprit. "Excuse me young lady, but who do you think you are? How dare you daydream during my lesson!"
"Sorry… Mr Calvin..."
He scowled. "Next time, know your position! You are but a mere student!"
Jesse nodded solemnly as she bit her bottom lip.
Reuben peeked from under a blanket to watch the commotion. When the tutor did not say another word afterwards and opened another hefty volume, he retreated back into the blanket.
Since Jesse was under room confinement, her tutor was given the privilege to drag his lessons for the entire day. She only had a short five minutes break in between, and she would either stare outside the window or take a sneak check at Reuben. Other than that, it was endless reading, writing and listening to his damn voice. Oh joy.
When the hour clock mercifully stroked seven, lessons were finally over. Jesse feigned respect and bided him goodbye, but when he left the room, she stuck out her tongue at him.
She went up to Reuben's hiding spot and lifted the blanket. He squealed in fright, but when he saw Jesse his tense expression melted into a happy one. "S'okay now. Stupid Mr Calvin is gone."
Reuben oinked in delight as he started running around the room with excitement. It had been almost nine hours since he had to hide under either the blanket or the bed. He had grew restless, and when the torture was finally over (for both of them), he couldn't be happier.
"Don't get too happy though. We're still stuck here until tomorrow."
Despite that, Reuben couldn't care less. At least he was able to move about freely.
Jesse lay down on her bed, exhausted from the long lesson. Reuben wanted to join her and she carried him up. She played with him until dinner was served.
As she ate dinner, she could not help but ponder over the dream—or memory that surfaced during her lesson. She was eight years old back then, but she wasn't stupid. There was something going on between them that she was unaware of. Probably her father was also kept in the dark about it too. She never dared to mention about it to her mother or godfather, fearing their reaction.
Jesse and her mother would often pay visits to godfather's massive fortress, where she would play all day with him while her mother would lock herself in the guest room doing whatnot. After some time, her father had forbidden mother and daughter to visit him again due to unknown reasons. She was only able to see him during some grand royal party, and after her mother died, there were no more parties, and that also meant no more visits from godfather.
The last time Jesse saw him was during her mother's funeral, where he comforted her when she was wailing uncontrollably. He tried to hold back his tears, but her cries were too effective and it made him sob as well. Jesse could remember hugging him as she cried, her tears and mucous soaking his clothes. Her godfather didn't mind, as his tears fell from his eyes and landed on her head.
Her father has a stoic facade throughout the funeral procession, and found her godfather annoying and sent him away. He may have been seen as the strongest, but in the privacy of his chambers, his wails were the loudest.
…
When next morning arrived, Jesse and Reuben couldn't be happier. Immediately after breakfast and lessons with darned Mr Calvin, they went to play in the gardens, having a whale of a time.
Due to her new schedule that was rather tight, Jesse decided to let Reuben return to the garden with the other critters. He was rather disappointed, but she promised to come and play often.
That night, Jesse tossed and turned in her bed, unable to get to sleep. Sweat soaked her silk nightgown, making it cling onto her body. After it was certain that she would not enter the land of dreams anytime soon, she decided to retrieve some milk from the kitchens. She had heard that milk was able to help one fall asleep easier.
It was late at night and the atmosphere was tranquil. The only sounds that could be heard were the steady rhythm of footsteps made by the guards doing their rounds.
Jesse poured herself a glass and gulped it down, yet she did not feel the slightest bit drowsy. Sighing, she then decided to just walk around the castle to burn some energy and hopefully make her tired enough to sleep.
Jesse strolled down a hallway, made a turn and came face to face with a young woman in civilian clothes. She had her blonde hair tied in twin braids and was carrying a suitcase.
"Young lady, aren't you supposed to be in bed? It's already past eleven." The woman asked in a gentle voice.
Jesse shook her head. "Nope. I'm perfectly fine. I just couldn't sleep and wanted to walk around a bit."
She nodded slowly. "Alright then. Please sleep as soon as possible. It is unhealthy for a young lady to be sleeping at such late hours." With that, she turned on her heels and hurried off.
Jesse continued on her late night walk, heading up to the attic at the highest floor. It was filled with old paintings, vases, cutlery, supplies and knickknacks that the royal family dumped up here and left to collect dust. She had found it fascinating when she first came here when she was seven, but her mother disallowed her to return as it was very dusty and she claimed that it might make her fall sick.
The portraits all consisted of Jesse's ancestors, some dating way back from two hundred years ago. Her father had stashed them all up here, claiming that the stares from the people in the portraits made him uncomfortable. Nobody could argue with him about that matter; even his wife had agreed with him.
Jesse rummaged through the portraits, hoping to miraculously find one of her mother. Perhaps some kind samaritan had stashed away at least one portrait of her, or a photo. Anything was fine. But after she couldn't find what she was looking for, she gave up.
Moving on, she gazed at the antique furniture that had layers of dust coating it. Jesse traced faces and words on the dust just for the fun of it.
At the very end of the attic, she stumbled upon a dresser. Looking closer, it was made out of polished mahogany wood with gold furnishings adorning the frame of the mirror. The mirror had dust and black spots covering it, obstructing Jesse's reflection.
However, it did not prevent her from noticing something blurry behind her. But when she turned around, she couldn't see who the culprit was. Shaking it off as her imagination, Jesse bent down to open the drawers. They were all empty.
Just as Jesse was about to close the last drawer door, she noticed something carved onto one of the dresser legs. Upon closer inspection, it read Ellie.
The name Ellie ringed a bell in her head. Jesse did remember her father calling her mother by that name when they weren't in the presence of the public eye.
(So this must be mommy's dresser.)
Jesse knew that this was just her mother's nickname, as her godfather and uncles has called her by a more sophisticated name, but she didn't remember what.
Jesse then saw something red poking out from underneath the dresser. Reaching out to grab it, she realised that it was a notebook with Ellie written on its spine. She opened the hardcover to read the first page. There was a single word written at the centre.
Diary.
Immediately Jesse squealed in joy. Her mother's diary. Her actual, freaking diary! Sure, her mother said that reading someone else's diary without permission was bad, but for Jesse's case, surely she could be let off the hook.
Excitement coursed through her veins as she skipped out of the attic, retreating back to her chambers to savour the details in the diary.
What Jesse didn't notice was a small spectral figure hiding behind a large portrait, solely focusing on the girl. It then floated towards the direction that she headed before vanishing into thin air.
…
September 6, 486
Damn, he's at it again.
I told him many times to leave me alone, but he's stubborn as heck. Sure, he's nice and all, but honestly, if darling finds out, I don't know how he'll take it. Knowing him, he'll blow up his fortress faster than you can say 'redstone is awesome'.
To be perfectly frank, I don't know how to feel about him. He can be a little weird as times (according to Ivor), but he does have a gentlemanly side. If only darling could learn from him…
January 15, 487
Okay, we have all the ingredients we need to make that machine. All that's left is some more redstone lamps and whatnot.
For some reason darling is reluctant to let me go. He keeps on finding excuses to make me stay. Well, shut up. I need to get that machine done or I'll go crazy.
January 16, 487
Damn it damn it damn it damn it damn it
Stop looking at me like that, goofball. What the heck is wrong with him?
I know he's concerned and all, but he's starting to get annoying.
Notch damn it. Damn it all.
March 16, 487
Stomach aches, morning sickness, loss of appetite, mood swings, sudden cravings and random puking.
I take it as a good thing, a really good thing. I have been dreaming of this since I was engaged to that goofball. He also looks pretty excited when he sees the symptoms I'm displaying.
I hope.
October 17, 487
Oh Notch, why does this happen to me?
Why does she have to be so stupidly adorable?
The moment she was handed over to me in a warm fluffy blanket, I had the strong desire to protect her. Now I know what maternal instinct feels like.
I am writing this two days after she was born, so her birthday is technically October 15.
But on the downside, I'm sick. I have acquired some unknown illness after giving birth to her. Now what?
I would've hated her, just like how that griefer hates her. But how could I? I have wished for her. I wanted a child. So why should I…?
No matter. He loves her, I love her, and that's all that matters. Isn't it?
Someday, that griefer will come to accept her, and maybe even love her.
My dear Jesse…
It's okay. It's perfectly alright. Yeah.
…
"You have such pretty hair, you know?" The maid remarked as she gently brushed Jesse's black waist length hair with a brush. Jesse sat perfectly still, allowing the maid to comb her hair from top to bottom.
"Thanks… Maria. Did I pronounce your name correctly?"
"Yes, definitely."
Maria had just arrived yesterday night. She was the woman that Jesse bumped into the other night. She had a small frame and the most beautiful blue eyes.
"Your dress looks absolutely lovely. It'll match with your ribbon." Maria said as she adorned her hair with a red ribbon. She went on and on about Jesse's appearance, brushing nonexistent dust from her dress and hair.
It was almost as if she were playing with a doll.
"I'm fine now Maria. I really need to have some breakfast before Mr Calvin arrives." Jesse said as she abruptly stood up, not wanting to deal with the maid any longer.
Maria looked disappointed, but she managed to hide it by plastering a smile on her dainty face. "Sure. I'll see you."
As Jesse took the path that lead to the dining hall, she couldn't help feel that something was behind her. She kept turning around to check, but nobody was there.
Jesse's imagination started to go wild. The stories of phantoms and demons that she overhead from the servants filled her head. What if the spirit of the butler that hung himself was following her? What if the legendary demon of the nether was behind her? What if—
Snap.
It all happened too quickly. Immediately after Jesse heard that sound she was roughly shoved out of the path of a falling chandelier. Millions of glass shards were scattered all over the floor.
Hasty footsteps thundered, and in a flash Jesse was being hoisted upright.
"Your Highness! Are you alright!?" Axel cried, panic written all over his face.
Jesse could only tremble in fright.
Axel carried Jesse back to her chambers. Maria was in shock when she saw them, immediately barraging a thousand questions at her.
"Be quiet, will you? She's in shock and needs to rest." Axel snapped, glaring at Maria.
"Ah, yes. But honestly, look at her! Her hair is in a mess, and her dress is dirty! Look, even her ribbon is slipping!"
"Look, shut up okay? If you're going to get all fussy about her appearance instead of actually being of help, I would suggest that you scram."
Maria huffed in annoyance as she stormed off.
"Who does she think she is? She's treating you like her plaything!" Axel said once Maria was out of earshot.
(She saw me as a doll. She treated me like a doll. But I'm not a doll.)
"I dunno, maybe she couldn't afford dolls when she was younger?" Jesse said.
Axel snorted. "Well, I think she's just an insensitive jerk."
(I'm not a doll…)
"As much as I would love to keep you company, I need to get back to work. When you get better, let's go play with the fireworks this Sunday with Reuben, alright?"
The fireworks! She almost forgot about it!
"Alright. See you." Jesse forced a smile as she waved her friend goodbye.
Many maids came and tended to Jesse's needs. They placed a wet cloth over her forehead and served her breakfast in her room. One of the maids asked if she was okay, in which she replied that she was fine. Even her lessons with stupid Mr Calvin were cancelled!
Jesse's father never showed up to check on her. Not that she expected him to do that; he never bothered to visit her when she was ill. The time when she caught a fever when she was nine, only her mother remained by her bedside. She rinsed the fever cloth in water when it got warm and fed her medicine. She even read her bedtime stories to help her sleep.
(If only mommy were still around…)
When Jesse was bored of lying in bed, she went to her cupboard and retrieved a doll. It was a beautiful brunette doll with a light purple dress. It had blank eyes and an eerie smile. Her godfather had made it for her when she was seven, and she was fascinated by the fact that the doll looked so real.
"I had considered making an exact replica of you, but on second thought I found it a little odd and went with this design instead." Her godfather said as he handed the doll to Jesse.
"Thank you godfather! She looks so pretty… she's almost like a real girl!"
Jesse had enjoyed playing with that doll and considered her as a real friend, but when she grew older she couldn't help but feel a little creeped out at its all-too-real smile and hollow eyes that seemed to bore into her soul.
(I'm not a doll, am I?) Jesse thought as she staredat her childhood toy intently. It just stared back with its creepy eyes.
Jesse tugged at the doll's hair, the fine brown yarn being tangled due to lack of maintenance. She forced her fingers through the knots in the yarn.
"Stop that. It hurts."
(Shut up. You're a doll. You can't feel pain.)
"And aren't you one as well?"
(Maria treated me like a doll, but in reality I'm no doll. Right?)
"You are."
(Wrong)
Jesse tugged at the knots of the yarn harder.
(My eyes aren't dead as yours. My eyes can see all sorts of things, all sorts of places.)
The doll's neck twisted in a grotesque angle, its smile growing wider.
"Heeheehee… things like what? The hateful face of your daddy?"
Jesse felt her blood boil. With all of her strength, she flung the doll out of the window and buried her face in a pillow. She wanted to make the doll's cruel giggles go away. She managed to fall asleep after a while, shivering despite of the relatively warm air.
(I'm not a doll. I'm not a doll. I'm not a doll.)
(Right?)
Will start on cover art soon. Hopefully it'll arrive by the time I publish chapter III or IV.