Author's Note: I will be changing the rating to M with the next chapter because of content.

Old Wounds

Emma was sitting on one of the beds, cell phone in hand. "Craig wants to stay here for a week or so…we're close to New York City without having to pay to stay there. If you want to send mail I can give you the—…yeah, Jay, I have it…e-mail's different. E-mail says, "It's easy to love you." A care package says, "You make it easy to love you by being so GREAT!"" Her laughter floated through the room stirring Craig from his slumber.

"Hey," he muttered voice cracking with dry air, "M'sleeping." He pulled a pillow down to cover his ears and drown out the sound.

"My love doesn't care," she snarked. But she quickly shut herself in the bathroom with the phone anyway.

I continued to flick the black band on my wrist looking back and forth between Craig and the empty bed. "What's got your panties in a twist?" he asked tossing the pillow on the empty space beside him.

I shook myself out of my revere, "What? Nothing."

"Then why are you snapping at your skin with those rubber bands?"

I stilled my fingers, looking down. "I didn't realize…bored I guess…restless."

"Restless? Try to get some sleep…we're driving into the city at 6 for a night of wild parties."

"What?"

"Emma didn't tell you? I got tickets to Wicked."

"No one tells me anything. God, you guys prepared the transportation, you planned the locations, all the events. I'm just the tag-a-long."

"Aww…is Ellie feeling left out?" he asked snidely.

"Die Manning," I spit rising from my chair.

"Look…you could have been involved in the planning if, you know, you ever returned my calls."

"What calls? The one where you told me you married Manny? Or how about the one where you called to apologize for standing me up in Montreal cause Manny didn't want you seeing me. Or the one where you called to tell me you were going into rehab for all the drugs you PROMISED you weren't doing. Or my personal favorite, "Hey…um. Manny left me. I just wanted—I don't know what I wanted. Manny wrote a book…I'm sure it'll be released soon. It doesn't say the best things about you…I just wanted you to hear it from me. I'm sorry." God, for three years you talked at my answering machine instead of me. That book ruined my relationship. Sean and I were…we were happy, Craig. He loved me before anyone else…he loved me better than anyone else—"

"Screw you."

"No Craig, screw you. I owed it to Sean to try and make things work. He changed for me. He supported every dream I ever had. Your scag of a wife killed that with rumors about our secret love affair. So why would you ever expect me to pick up and follow you after everything you put me through. I didn't want to listen to your self-loathing while you detoxed. I didn't CARE how sorry you were. I didn't care about your pain…your self-pity…you had earned it as far as I was concerned." I rose my eyes to meet him in a challenge, "You deserved her."

Emma walked out of the bathroom and tossed her phone on the bed, "What the hell, guys? Jay could hear you screaming and I had the water running."

"Sorry Em," I whispered before turning to walk out our suite door.

"Craig," she asked bending towards him, "it'll work out."

"She's right…"

"What do you mean?"

"I did deserve all the bads things that happened."

"Yeah, maybe…I believe in kharma. But Craig…that means you deserve this too. You deserve the good parts too."

"Ellie," he whispered.

"I don't know, Craig."

"I know…I don't yet. But I will. Someday, Emma…I'm gonna prove it…I'm gonna earn a place in her heart."

Emma smoothed his hair behind his ear, "Right now, just focus on finding her."

It wasn't hard to find me, I was sitting on the roof of our van, cross-legged staring at the door to our room. "Ellie?" he called out looking level to him at the sidewalks and benches.

"Up here," I whispered.

"Are you crying?"

"Just enough to make you feel bad."

"I would've felt bad anyway," he promised latching onto my eyes.

"You shouldn't. I should…I was cruel."

"You were right."

"Yeah, but I was also cruel…the one unforgiveable sin—"

"Deliberate cruelty" we finished together. I laughed then asked him for the time.

"2:40" he said checking his watch.

"We should get our nap in."

"Yeah. And Elle?"

"Ellie," I corrected, "and what?"

"I bought the Wicked tickets for you. I—the weekend you were supposed to join me in Banff, that's what we were going to do. I was going to surprise you by flying you to NYC. I remembered how you always mentioned it in your letters…wanting to see a real show."

"Thank you," I whispered weakly. "Help me down?"

"How'd you ever get up there?" he asked walking towards me.

"There's a ladder on the back."

He laughed silently and I saw all of his teeth, "Come down backwards, I'll spot you."

"Okay, but spot my neck and nothing lower. I'm in a skirt."

"Well, that's not really my fault," he teased hovering his hands around my waist.

"Fine, fine…you would've seen my underwear at some point on this trip anyway." I reasoned.

He coughed and his hand slipped up and I lowered myself onto the last rung, "What?"

"I just meant since we're taking turns with the laundry. God, Craig…tell me you don't dream about me."

He laughed and led the way back into the room, "You two make up?" Emma asked looking up from the dresser.

"Yes…tell me you're not going to unpack at every hotel," Craig urged rolling his eyes.

"It make it feel like home," she argued.

"It isn't home, Em…that's the whole point. There is no home now, for any of us."

I looked back and forth between the two of them, "Craig—"

"What the fuck, Craig? Look around…this IS home. Two of my best friends, dream after dream…there is no better home. Sure I wish Jay was here…I'll probably wish that everyday. But with the exception of that one little problem, this is the best thing I could ask for. Not just "now." Not just because the sky is falling in Toronto…because I get to experience the best of everything with two people I love more than anything…" she trailed off then placed her hand on the bump on her belly, "three…three people."