Chapter 9

"Yeah I will grab something now, hang on, lemme look." I look behind me to make sure Dad isn't looking or listening as I walk into the bathroom, and into the medicine cabinet.

"Here we are! These should work." I giggle,

"Yeah will be there then, speak soon." I hang up quickly and turn around, pills in my hand, I grin to myself as I look at the name on them and the brand, they should help get us all high. I laugh as I think about how much I have missed it all, how much I have had to pretend like I didn't.

"What are you doing?" Terry grabs my arm as I walk out of the bathroom, I just shake my head

"Nothing, now let me go." I pull away from him and go to walk past him as quick as I can, but before I know it he grabs the pills in my hands and pins me up against the wall behind me. I cry out in pain, but he ignores it. I can see the anger in his eyes, the hate...

I shake my head and ignore the tears falling down my face, I grit my teeth and try to pull him off.

"Get off me!" I scream as loud as I can, but he grabs my arms, I look away from him, trying to think of a way to get out of this.

"You're not going anywhere, especially not with them." He points towards the pills, they are scattered around the floor, I start to cry, trying forcing him to get off me but he still won't let go. I shake my head at him,

"Just let go of me." I can feel the anger rushing through my now, as I clench my fist. A fire starts in the corner of the room, he jumps away from me.

"Just leave me alone!" I scream once more before running out of the door.

"Hey. Got anything for me?" I run up to Simon, red eyed and shaking, he nods as he digs into his pocket and leans in to kiss me on the lips.

"I will pay you in money today." I whisper, as I hand him some notes. He sighs and nods as he counts it, giving me a lot in return. I nod and walk back to Avril without saying goodbye.

I feel so numb, I can't feel anything, nothing. I am scared though, so scared, I just want it to be like before. But it's too late now. Nothing can ever be the same, I can't be the same person anymore. And as much as I wish I could be, it's impossible.

I sigh as I carry on walking with Avril, "I don't want to go back there for a while." I say to her, she nods at me and then grins,

"You can stay with me for a while." I smile and then think about Emma and Cleo, how the sleepovers would be so much fun even if we weren't doing much. I remember full moon nights, the good times and the bad times. It would never be like that with Avril, it wasn't that type of friendship.

I didn't go home until another eight days.

My pale face, tired eyes, shaking hands, and sudden weight loss, immediately giving away where I had been, and who I had been with. Terry just shook his head at me when I finally got the courage to walk in, he didn't suspect me for the fire, thank God. I crawled into my bedroom, immediately lighting some pot and smoking it before closing my eyes and going to sleep.