The doctor came in and Manny chauffeured us out of the room. "I'm going to grab some coffee, Em. Then I'll be back."

"Okay. Hey, thanks for coming. I—you're a good friend."

"I'd better be. Look, I have some big news later. Free up some alone time, okay?"

It was a subtle dig at the three of us, all clambering behind her like ducklings. I rose my eyebrows in Craig's direction and he rolled his eyes back at me. "Reason number 712 for our divorce, always talked about me, never to me."

Sean was already moving towards the elevators and the doctor's voice in the room was becoming a dull buzzing. "Craig, don't be coy. There was only one reason for our divorce and, shocker, she's still here. Is she at least sleeping with you again?"

I spun to face her, "Watch your mouth, Manny. I don't want any part of whatever is going on between you and Craig. I removed myself from the situation years ago. And you know that. You know that I left so you two could make it work. You know I—I respected you, Manny. I respected you and I gave up a man I truly loved for you even though I didn't owe you anything. I left because you asked me to and you screwed me anyway."

"I wasn't going to lie, Ellie. I sat down to write that book about Craig going to rehab and everything just fell out. He loved me, but not enough to stop loving you. And it doesn't matter if you left so he could settle for me. It doesn't matter because my HUSBAND loved you and only ever tolerated me. God he—he used to look at me and I could just see in his eyes—he hated me for not being you. He—I will never be sorry for telling the truth in that—"

"Except it wasn't the truth. I left months before your plotline put me in his hotel room. In his bed. I was in Toronto painting trees on the ceiling with Sean and all of a sudden there you are on Oprah telling the world—I never cheated on Sean. Never."

"I saw you," Manny whispered. "Montego Bay, the weekend of the Ashland Music festival." Sean doubled back and looked into Manny's eyes as if trying to gauge the truth. Craig froze in his place, turning to slump against the wall but saying nothing. Manny inhaled raggedly, "You were dressed so…unlike yourself. A little trashy, none of the class I'd always associated with you. At first I didn't think it was you but later, Emma told me you'd gotten your h hair cut. It suited you, really; you were beautiful."

Sean put his hand on my arm, "The Ashland? We were in town that week, Ellie. We were there and I told you I wanted to go home but you. Damnit! I can't believe I trusted you."

"Whatever Manny saw—" I cut myself off turning to face Manny, "Whomever you saw, Manny, it wasn't me."

"Even now you won't tell the truth? All this evidence and you still won't just fucking admit that you couldn't leave him anymore than he could let you go." Manny's tone had dropped dangerously low, "The damage is already done, the truth won't change anything."

"The truth," Craig's voice broke in, raw and broken, "I saw Ellie and Sean check into their hotel. I went to talk to her. I asked her why she was in town. I—she told me she had cousins in North Carolina. Family…that she wanted Sean to meet."

"Oh God. No, Craig. Tell me—" I turned to Sean, "Rachel," I whispered. "How did you even—"

"I followed you guys to that dinner. I—I didn't understand why you. I wanted to meet your family, Ellie. I wanted to be the guy on your arm that. That you were proud of."

"Rachel? Her cousin Rachel?" Sean looked to Craig's face, incredulous.

I shrugged my shoulders, "That's my best guess. Why don't you end the mystery, Craig?"

"It—I was—she looked so much like you."

My mouth went dry and I turned to Craig, "Sick, Manning. Truly sick." I stepped away from the huddled mass in the hallway, "I can't believe you."

"I love you," he whispered desperately.

"And as a testament to that you fucked my cousin."

"In his defense," I heard from behind me, "he was pretty strung out. He might not have even known what he was doing."

I looked at Manny over my shoulder, "I think it is very sad that you consider that a defense."

Behind Manny I saw a rustle of color, "Thanks Doc—hey, what are you guys still doing out here? I thought you were going for coffee."

I scoffed at his words, "Like the four of us could ever get far. At least we've learned to fight in whispers instead of shouting."

Jay's eyebrows rose as he surveyed the group, "What are you fighting about?"

"I owe Ellie and apology," Manny mumbled, "I'm sorry Ellie. I should have trusted you would do the right thing. I should have—after the conversation we had that night—I should have known you'd do what you said."

I nodded and stepped to the side so the doctor could move through the hallway. "I would have believed it too if I'd seen it with my own two eyes."

"Ellie, Emma is asking for you. The rest of you, come catch me up in the mess hall."

Sean laughed, "In the civilian world, Hogart, it's a cafeteria." He threw his arm over Jay's shoulder and Jay nudged him with his crutch.

"Whatever, Cameron, as long as there's food."

I turned and headed back into Emma's room, "Hey," I whispered folding my legs into the chair beside her bed.

"Ellie…that was quick."

"The four of us self-destructed about eleven feet into the hallway," I laughed coldly. "Jay said you wanted to see me?"

"Well, yes."

"About what?"

"Um…I like you best? I didn't realize I needed a formal reason."

I laughed into my hand, "I guess you don't. But, as far as reasons go, I like that one."

"Did Jay tell you what happened to his leg?"

"I've only seen him for a total of four minutes so, no."

"They were playing war games like capture the flag or something. And one of the structures collapsed and landed on his leg. Worse than that, the guy standing on the structure also landed on his leg. He was in a rope crawl and couldn't get out fast enough when he heard them yelling about the collapse."

"That's messed up."

"Kinda," Emma said, her lips quirking up into a smile.

"Kinda?"

"Well, he's home now."

I smiled at her, "That he is. How long until he has to head back?"

"I didn't ask. Tell me about the fight."

"Manny finally apologized for the lies about me and Craig which I found out weren't so much lies as a huge misunderstanding influenced by Craig sleeping with my cousin Rachel."

"Manny—wait, Craig slept with your cousin."

I arched my eyebrow, "She looked like me. Hence Manny thinking it was me."

"Craig slept with—you know, just when I think Craig Manning can't get any more messed up—"

"I know and…he didn't even tell me. He didn't tell anyone for that matter. I don't know how he can lecture me about being honest and open with him when all along he had this secret—do you think he did it more than once? Oh God, Emma. How do people move on from stuff like this?"

"What do you mean?"

"I want to love him. Like I used to. But every time I look at him I see the mistakes. I wonder how many women he's slept with…I wonder how many women he's slept with just because they looked like me. He told me, a week or so ago that they all had red hair. Physical scarring. I'm not sure if. I'm not sure he'll ever be healthy enough to actually be in a relationship, let alone with me."

"Or maybe he'll only ever be able to be in a relationship with you, Ellie. Like you're his anti-kryptonite."

"I'm not though. He's just as fucked up with me as without."

Emma tilted her head to the side, thinking, "We don't actually know that. Because even when he was with you, he was also with Manny. Maybe being sober and being with you, just you, is all he really needs."

"That's a lot of pressure to put on one person."

She nodded, "Yeah. It is. You should ask Jay how he does it."

"Emma…you and Jay are a completely different situation."

"Not quite. I—you know he puts up with a lot of shit from me. I have fat days and I get irrationally angry. There are problems in everyone's life."

"I suppose. I—Emma, I know you're trying to help but. You can't downplay every problem and make it all some "You can do it" bullshit. I get that your intentions are good but. Sometimes you just make me feel like crap. Like you don't see how I couldn't possibly have gotten my life together by now."

"Oh, Ellie. I don't mean it like that. I just—I don't want you to lose hope. You are one of the strongest, most beautiful people I know. You have been through far more than anyone else I know. I probably don't tell you this enough but sometimes, seeing you live your life, watching the way you care for others, is the only thing that convinces me I can do it too."

"Thank you."

"Yup. So, enough about boys. Let's talk about this book. I haven't seen you type a thing since we got on this trip."

"Because I haven't written a thing."

"So, what, you hit some sort of road block?"

"Everything I start writing about ends up actually being about Craig."

"So?"

"Manny already capitalized on that market."

"Let him influence your fiction then."

"He already has. I'm sick of writing about Manning. I sick of writing about him, talking about him, turning corners in hallways and seeing him there. It was so much easier to hate him and everything he stood for when he was miles away."

"When he was a fuck up?"

"He still is."

"No. Not really. Now it's more…I don't know, he was a really BIG fuck up so now he has lots to climb out from under but he's not adding to the pile so…"

I sighed and pulled her hand into mine, "I don't really want to write anymore, Em. Not like I am, anyway. That pretentious column, telling people how to live…or worse, judging them for who they are living. Talking about symbolism and love like I'm some casual observer of life. I quit before I left to meet Craig in upstate New York."

"So how are you going to make money?"

"Well, we won't have to worry about that until Craig runs out of money. And you know his stuff's still in rotation on every radio station from here to Tokyo."

"Living off your boyfriend, Nash, how very 1950s of you."

"He's not my boyfriend."

"He totally is. Just with none of the perks."

I rolled my eyes and scowled at her, "You know, there are days when I really regret becoming your friend, Nelson."

"And today is one," she asked in an innocent voice.

I looked down at her puppy dog eyes, "Decidedly yes."

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I'm slowly but surely getting back in the swing. Thanks for the love.