Sorry for the cliché-as-hell joke that's about to happen in this chapter, you've been warned, don't groan too hard!
Tony wasn't quite sure how it had happened, he was only supposed to stay with Steve for a couple of days, two or three at the most. Then three became five, five became a week, and a week became a month, until it was now the middle of October and Steve had made sure to make it a habit for Tony to stay an extra night. They were both still only sleeping in the same bed, nothing scandalous had happened in all those days. Tony wasn't sure if it was because Steve was waiting for him to make the first move or he was waiting for Steve to make the first move. It wasn't hard to see that the more time they spent in each other's company the harder their kisses became and the harder it was to separate.
"Could you turn your chin a bit to the left please, and up?" Steve asked as Tony stood there, holding a scepter and orb with a king's robes draping delicately over his body.
"Steve, I fell ridiculous." Tony complained as he followed Steve's instructions.
"You look like royalty; really Tony, one of these day we're gonna have to track your family history and see if you don't come from a long line of kings and queens." Steve said from behind the canvas expressing the same opinion he had had in the hospital.
"Wouldn't that be a treat?" Tony said a bit flattered.
Steve looked back at Tony just in time to catch the color appearing on the brunette's cheeks. Something tugged deep within, making his brush waver a bit.
"Uh, take five." Steve said suddenly, as he placed his color palette and brush hastily on the desk next to him.
"Is everything okay?" Tony asked placing the props on the nearby chair. That Sunday morning they'd been digging through Steve's mom's old things and found boxes, filled to the brim, with props and costumes for, what he assumed, the many paintings she used to make.
"What? Yeah, yes. Everything, everything is fine." Steve said, a bit flustered. He wiped his hands on his painter's shirt, smearing the fabric with the paint that had accumulated on his hands.
"Come on, tell me what's up. Did I pose awkwardly? I'm not used to this much weight on my head." Tony said, apologizing for his assumed mistake. He pointed to the crown on his head, faulting it as well.
"No, no, it's just…" Steve couldn't bring himself to say that he thought Tony looked absolutely irresistible when he blushed, not only would the brunette castrate him, but he'd feel emasculated as well.
"Yes?" Tony asked, a bit impatient. Steve had stopped so suddenly, he wondered if something had gone wrong.
"Thank you for this. I've always had to draw from imagination or copy my mom's work, with this, with you, I feel as if I'm improving in leaps and bounds." Steve said. Although all of that was true, it wasn't the real reason he'd stopped.
"I have nothing better to do." Tony said, shrugging his shoulders and returning to his position by the chair.
Steve wondered what else he could say to get that beautiful rose to bloom on Tony's cheeks again.
"I'm serious though, about you being related to royalty. The way the clothes fit you so well, your sharp features. Imagine what you would be had you been born in the correct family? The envy of every man and the desire of every woman." Steve said, it wasn't quite working, Tony only kept scoffing and rolling his eyes.
"It's not healthy to deal in what-ifs for very long." Tony reprimanded. He'd thought about it sometimes, when his mind wouldn't let him sleep, he'd wondered what it could have been like if Steve and he had their lives switched, would they have still met somehow? He thought about it more now that he was surrounded by such luxuries as hot water and constant electricity, a soft bed, and privacy.
"It doesn't hurt either." Steve said, a bit disappointed that he couldn't find the magic words to trigger those cheeks to brighten.
An idea started brewing in his head and he waited, until he was sure Tony wasn't expecting any more talking, to execute it. "One of these days I may have to perform a study on you." He said, as calmly as he could, his eagerness would only get him in trouble.
"What exactly is a study?" Tony asked, he wasn't necessarily privy to all of these art terms Steve seemed to hurl at him on a daily basis.
"It's where you pose, much like you're doing now, but nude—Steve tried to keep as neutral face as he could as he said this—it helps teach the artist how the body connects without the constraints of clothing." Bingo.
"Well, I-I think you're good enough an artist as it is, no need to see me naked!" Tony replied flabbergasted, he'd almost dropped the orb when Steve mentioned nudity. "Besides, I told you no Greek paintings." Tony reminded.
"It's not necessarily a painting, it's a study." Steve clarified, smiling on the inside, his mission was accomplished and he could finally add the hint of redness on the painting's cheeks.
"Painting, study, whatever. No nudity." Tony said, almost as if warning Steve not to cross a line.
"Okay, it was only a suggestion. I guess I'll just find someone else then." Oh this was just too easy, he didn't mean to play with Tony's emotions… he just simply liked the physical outcome.
"You wouldn't dare, besides, where would you find people like that to volunteer?" Tony asked, feeling his embarrassment all the way down to his fingertips.
"Plenty of art academies in New York, I could fly to Paris when the war is over—there the men aren't so prudish." Steve didn't mean that, of course, he was just trying to get a rise out of Tony; it was all meant to be for fun.
"You think I'm prudish?" Tony asked, shocked to find that Steve may be right. Is that why they hadn't gone past a kiss?
"What? No, no—
"You think I'm prudish, Jesus Christ!" Tony cursed, putting the scepter and orb down on the ground and removing his crown. "I'll show you prudish."
"Wait, Tony, I'm sorry. Hey, where are you going?" Steve asked, he'd pushed the brunette too far, hadn't he. He sighed and started to pack up his paints for the day, Tony wasn't gonna let him finish his painting after that.
Tony returned a couple of minutes later with the king's robe wrapped tightly around his body.
"Tony, I'm sorry okay? I was kidding about the whole prude thing." Steve said, trying sincerely to apologize, meanwhile, the brunette was positioning himself on the chair, one leg draped across the armrest and the other held close to his chest. He let the robe fall open, revealing nothing but flesh.
It was now Steve's turn to turn red, beet red actually.
"Go on, study me… like one of your French men." Tony insisted (more like challenged) Steve. The blonde was speechless for a couple of seconds as his brain restarted.
Seeing a bunch of naked bodies in the showers in the middle of training was one thing, but seeing the object of your affection draping themselves languidly and provocatively merely inches away from you was another thing entirely.
Steve walked (he was finding it hard to do just that) back slowly behind the canvas, picked a blank one, and slowly started tracing the lines of Tony's body with his brush.
He shouldn't get too accustomed to this, Tony was only trying to prove a point now, but when his pride wore off he'd demand Steve destroy the painting, which he should probably do regardless; if anyone ever found this…
But he couldn't find the will within himself to stop placing delicate brushstrokes upon the canvas. He was also finding it difficult to keep his composure, he'd much rather be worshiping the body with his hands than his paint, but alas, he knew they weren't ready to cross that bridge yet.
Steve found himself constantly ogling Tony's physique, he looked good, better than good. His mind was too muddled to function and think of better words. But in all actuality, Tony was quite the looker, he had a toned body which probably came from hard work and little resources, he kept himself groomed (much like Steve), so his chest was smooth and free of blemishes. Really, the man was perfect.
"Are you going to paint or just keep staring?" Tony asked, breaking Steve out of his reverie. The blonde knew he was spacing out, but he hadn't noticed it had gotten that bad.
Tony, on the other hand, was faking his bravado. Once the initial jolt of adrenaline and irrational thought process that had gone into stripping was gone, he was left with nothing but a huge lump in his throat and between his legs.
He was so nervous it took everything in him to keep his shivering at a minimum. He'd wanted to prove a point, but now he was doing the same thing he'd told Steve to never ask of him.
It wasn't as if Steve had pushed him into doing this, he himself had. All to show Steve that he wasn't a goddamned prude. However, even in this current predicament, he kept himself quite conservative. He wasn't really exposing himself, more of a tease really, but it was there… the possibility.
For the next two hours, it was a constant never-ending silence that was as charged with sexual tension as much as it was awkward. They hadn't talked for the entire time, the trance only broken when Steve spoke up first.
"I'm… I'm done." He said, with some difficulty. He wasn't quite sure how he'd managed to keep his composure, much less his cool. He was at the brink of exploding, both physically and mentally. Tony had literally assaulted his senses and he hadn't woken up today ready to face that.
Tony tried not to pull the robe too hastily and undue whatever stance he'd succeeded in making earlier. "I'll go changed and then I'll come look at it." He said, walking away into one of the guest rooms where he had taken the king costume off. His regular clothing was also in there since he'd brought them down earlier.
Steve still stood, quite still, staring at the space Tony had occupied. He tried to shake himself out of the dreamlike state but the only other thing he could look at was his rendition of reality; which didn't hold a candle to the real thing, by the way.
Tony returned, fully clothed, and walked over to the painting. He wasn't as embarrassed as he thought he'd be seeing himself in such a lewd position. Steve really did have a gift for this sort of thing, however.
"I need to wash this paint off before it dries permanently on my fingers." Steve said, stepping around Tony so he could go to the kitchen sink.
The blonde scrubbed hard at his shaking hands. He gripped the kitchen sink but couldn't quite get a hold of himself or the shivers coursing down his spine. Jesus, it's like he's never seen a naked body before! And he has, plenty of them. They just weren't Tony's…
Steve took a deep breath, then another, until his heart didn't feel like it was exploding in his chest with each beat. He paid close attention the paint stuck underneath his nails, if he didn't get them out now, they would stay there forever.
"Are you okay?" Tony asked, sneaking up on the blonde and simultaneously giving him a heart attack.
"Yeah, why?" Steve asked gripping at the sink once more, this time to steady his mind.
"You've been muttering to yourself for the past couple of minutes and I was starting to worry for your health." Tony admitted, putting down the used painting cans. He'd seen Steve do this enough times to have the system down and memorized.
"Have I?" Steve asked still looking down at his hands. He was quite terrified to look at Tony, he didn't want to look at him like that… he would never forgive himself if this one incident ruined their perfectly normal relationship.
"Don't tell me I spooked you with my brashness." Tony said nervously. He was also on the fritz, but he was more adept at hiding it.
"What? No, no. That's perfectly normal… to uh… to pose like that." Steve said biting his lip and clutching at the sink counter yet again. Maybe he was the prude…
"You're shaking." Tony whispered, tracing a single finger down Steve's flexed bicep. Goosebumps followed Tony's trail like a tail, making Steve shake even harder as his knees found it difficult to keep him standing.
"You're quite the tease, you know that?" Steve asked, almost angrily emptying the paint cups into the sink and washing the paint from the brushes.
"I didn't, what with having no one ever say that to me before." Tony said, hopping up onto the counter.
"Well let me be the first." Steve said, abandoning the rest of the plates and securing a position between Tony's thighs.
The brunette looked down, having a head and a quarter on Steve's height.
"I think you'll be the first for a lot of things." Tony replied, coquettishly. He brought his arms around Steve's shoulders, still not believing his luck. How had he managed to remain in the blonde's good graces? He was a nobody compared to the man, he had no money, no lineage, definitely no honorable discharge from the army; how was he supposed to compete with him?
Well, it wasn't really a competition was it, and Tony couldn't help where he was born, could he?
"I hope that's a fact, Mr. Stark." Steve asked, hungrily looking into Tony's brown eyes. There was an untapped passion there, in both their eyes. They were still too afraid to progress any more than a kiss, but it burned there, quietly, behind the scenes like a snake waiting to strike.
"As factual as I can recall it." Tony said before dipping his head and giving Steve a long awaited kiss. Apart from the fact that they shared a bed together, this was the most physical contact they had had in quite some time. They were both pretty tame in all aspects, they feared unseen eyes were monitoring their every move so they kept careful and brief.
The blonde brought his hands to rest atop of Tony's thighs, slowly making their way up the muscle until they made their way under his shirt and around the brunette's hips. The skin-on-skin contact made Tony shiver and gasp slightly, he wanted nothing more than to continue this venture and see where it headed. But he couldn't, he was ultimately too scared. Terrified to move on and not be able to step back from it.
Tony stilled the blonde's hands as they made their way up his spine.
"Sorry." Steve said, leaving the kiss and the comfort of Tony's embrace.
"Wait no, I didn't mean for you to stop. Just… slow down. We don't have to go through with anything just yet, do we?" Tony asked, raising his eyebrows. Deep down he knew the answer to that question, but he was afraid to admit it. It was always fear with him, wasn't it?
"Yes, no, of course not. I'm content with just having you around. You've made my transition back into society a smooth one, and I cannot thank you enough." Steve said, resuming the dishes. He'd ruined it! Stupid… eager hands! Ugh, why did he have to be so immature?
"But that's not enough." Tony said, looking down at his hands and balling them into fists.
"It is, don't think that it's not because it's everything and more." Steve said, he would be lying if he said he wouldn't like more, wouldn't be craving more every time he had Tony's back pressed against his chest, the way he fit smoothly against the shape that he made. Like a lock and key.
"Don't lie; you're disappointed." Tony said hopping off the counter. He couldn't keep sitting up there like a petulant child, he had to stand up like the man he was.
"How can I be disappointed? You seem to forget that you're my first for many things too." Steve reminded kindly. The blonde shook his head at Tony's antics, how he wished he could see inside that brain of his and figure out how it operated!
"You seem much more prepared to move forward than I do." Tony pointed out. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, it just left him feeling a bit inadequate, considering he was the older of two.
"I can't blame you for wanting to take things slow." Steve whispered into his chest. He scrubbed a particular spot on the cup just a couple of more times so he wouldn't have to face Tony head on.
It clicked in Tony then why Steve was virtually walking on eggshells around him. "You… are you holding back because you think I can't take it?" Tony asked incredulously. It all made so much sense now, the way Steve would make sure to keep his body still and rigid as they slept, or the way he kissed as if he were trying to keep an apple from falling from his mouth, but trying to keep it unblemished at the same time.
"Tony, you're always jumping to conclusions, why can't it simply be that I want what you want?" Steve said, turning around to finally face the disgruntled man.
"Everybody in my life has either treated me like dog-shit or tried to handle me like porcelain; there's never an in-between. So tell me Steve, which side on the fence are you on?" Tony asked, crossing his arms around his chest, daring Steve to say something out of line.
"I'm not calling you breakable Tony, but you are vulnerable. Everything I say you take it as an insult to your manhood. I know you're not fragile, I've never thought of you as weak, but even you have to admit that there are certain things you can't do. Regardless of your past." Steve said, trying to reason with the storm.
"You sound just like Clint." Tony said, kissing his teeth.
"Then maybe he's right. You're too caught up in defending yourself when that is the last thing you should be doing. I'm not pushing you, because I think you'll break, it's because you told me to stop and I promised I'd never do anything to hurt you again." Steve said. He hated having these discussions with Tony, much less repeat the same three things over and over like a never-ending-loop.
"Who said I wanted you to stop?" Tony said, feigning bravery. He brought out his chest in an indignant manner, but you could see, clearly, that it was all an act. His heart was beating at dangerous levels and he wasn't sure if he could stop it in time.
"Now you're just pulling my leg." Steve said chuckling and returning to the last set of dishes.
"I'm not kidding." Tony said, almost like a fierce promise. He wanted to prove to Steve that he was stronger than his past, that he could take whatever the blonde was willing to give.
"Yes, I know Tony. But there is no need for your bravado, I think you've proved yourself enough already." Steve said, recalling the painting.
"It's not about proving myself dammit, it's about proving it to you! To everyone, why can't you just see that?" Tony asked, throwing his arms up in a desperate plea to get the blonde to understand him.
Steve dried his hands on a towel and sighed, turning around to face Tony again. He placed a delicate hand on the brunettes face and let a small smile overtake his features.
"Tell me you're ready and we'll do whatever you want right now. Just say those three words 'I am ready' and I'll never hold back on you again." Steve said, never once taking his eyes off Tony. He really wasn't sure where these words were coming from, maybe it was some inert manual that only presented itself when it was needed, or maybe he'd always known what to do and now was his chance to prove it.
Tony, on the other hand, was stumped. On one hand he wanted to continue, to say those words and be done with it. But his brain wouldn't let him, he was far too calculative to simply go with this, he was impulsive not stupid (though he did seem to get those two confused on several occasions).
Steve sighed, bringing their foreheads together and closing his eyes. "Don't worry about it now, okay, when you're ready—when we're ready, the time will present itself." Steve said, giving Tony a small kiss and the rest of their lives to think it over.
A/N: Aww, Tony scwawed! I'm just kidding, he's terrified!