{Sometimes it comes down to honesty...}
Chapter 20: Spirits in the Dark Pt2
I was terrified. Bad Templars are the ones who involve themselves with mages. I was not a bad Templar. Was I?
Yet I had not been honest with him, yet.
"I…haven't told you something, Juca. I…" I frowned. I didn't want to go here. Why had I opened my mouth?
He brushed stray hairs away from the side of my face, but said nothing.
I closed my eyes tightly against the memories which pushed against my mind. It was too late, I had to let this go, no matter the pain of reliving it.
"My mother…" I began, but I could not. I tried again. "My father, when he was a young man and on the verge of ruin, converted to the Qun. The Qunari will only deal with ship captains who are converts, and it was purely a financial decision for him. It worked well. The merchants of Kont-Aar had been desperate for ships with the connections that my father had. Soon he became a very rich man, and to this day has a fleet of over 30 sailing ships."
I paused. It was so easy to see my father again, laughing as we sailed together on his flagship, picking me up and swirling me around… He was tall and dark, intelligent and handsome…with a lean strength that could best men three times his bulk. And I was his eldest child, his heir, his favorite. We were inseparable. My mother had finally despaired of trying to teach me the finer points of being a woman…
I cleared my throat, and forged ahead. "My mother was a beautiful noble woman from Antiva. I am not sure how the marriage had been arranged, but it involved lots of coin and new ports of call for my father. Mother was, you see, a devoted Andrastian. There were problems from the very start. But my father loved her and worked to woo her heart… and eventually I was born. My two younger brothers followed in the years after. Somehow, my father had convinced the Qunari elders in Kont-Aar that his marriage to my mother was the will of the Qun. Maker only knows how he did that."
Affection and bewilderment colored my voice. I felt Juca smile. He could share my appreciation for a man with such talents.
"I believe that we'd still be together, all of us, if my brother Lucio had not discovered he could throw fire at bullies when he was about six..."
We both sat, unmoving, as the implications of my words swirled around us.
"As soon as she knew about Lucio, my mother began to make arrangements, traveling south to meet with the Chantry in Darismuid. Knight-Commander Angelo met with her, privately. He eventually convinced her that my brother would be safer in the Circle. It was arranged. Angelo would come to our house and escort Lucio to the Chantry in one month's time...
"Our small community south of Kont-Aar was not especially religious. To this day, I have no idea who called the Qunari council down from the city to come for my brother, but someone did. My father was caught completely by surprise as they arrived and demanded Lucio be surrendered to the will of the Qun. To them, my brother was … saarebas."
"Talita …" Juca breathed, understanding. What the Qunari did to their mages almost made becoming Tranquil an attractive option.
"By some mercy of the Maker, Angelo had already arrived and was our guest when the Qunari showed up and made their demands. The council was made up mostly of elves who had converted. In many ways, the elvhen converts of Kont-Aar are far more strict than their Kossith teachers.
"The decision was left to my father. He…" I swallowed at the memory. "He …ordered my mother to hand over Lucio to the Qunari."
In my mind, I saw it all again. My mother, wearing a gown of palest pink with pearls sewn about it, stepping in front of the elves. "She…," I said, groping for words, "…objected. Before anyone could pull her back, one of the elves ran her through with his sword. It was…it was the will of the Qun, he said."
I closed my eyes. The blood, soaking her gown, as she fell to her knees…
"There was a battle, then, right there in the main hall of our estate. Angelo tried to fight his way to my brother, but some of the qunari fled with him. My father was devastated. My mother, dying, screamed at him, denouncing their marriage…everything. She begged Angelo to take her children away, to the Chantry…" I swallowed hard, losing my voice. "…she begged him and begged him as she was dying until Angelo knelt beside her, and promised. He held her hand as she died. My father did not stop him. We could not find my youngest brother anywhere in the house, though. He was just a toddler. His elvhen nurse had just disappeared along with him, sometime during the fight… we had to leave, before the qunari returned, if they were going to…"
I ran out of words.
The fire was nearly gone, and absolute darkness surrounded us.
Juca tried to hug me, yet I did not want to be comforted. I rolled up to my feet, blanket falling away, and paced closer to the dying embers of the fire. My hands balled themselves into fists as the familiar anger returned to me. He watched me pace.
I kicked at a rock and it skittered off into the dark. Bitter thoughts that had been hiding in my heart for nearly a decade revealed themselves. "I was the oldest, Juca. Our lives fell apart, and I did ...nothing. Now I'm the one who is safe. Me! I'm not the one who needed protecting!"
I turned, in my pacing, and ran into Juca. I hadn't heard him move. My anger was an open, livid wound. I knew if he said one thing about the will of the Maker, or telling me anger would not solve anything, I'd punch him.
Maybe that is why he took my hands.
He said...
(and I tensed)
"Do you want to go find your brothers, Talita?"
I blinked. A bridge out of my useless, brooding anger magically appeared at his words. "Yes," I said slowly, tasting the truth of the word.
I felt Juca's smile. "So, we find this city of Gwaren, sell some of these things we have acquired, and buy passage back to Rivain. The Knight-Commander needs to learn of Everado's crimes, anyway. We will report to him, and then challenge him to assist us in fulfilling his oath."
He made it sound so easy. But it was a plan. Then I remembered, "Aren't you supposed to study in the Circle here in Ferelden?" I asked.
"My studies can wait, Talita," he said.
What is a girl to do? My anger wasn't cured, but its energy was replaced by...purpose.
I kissed him soundly.
(enough mushiness! So sorry for this! An action scene is waiting in the wings...)
(Big pacing problems in this last chapter, I know...any suggestions are welcome!)