Chapter 16

I shake my head as I watch them all trying to light a fire, it's kind of funny to be honest. I just look away from them every time they look at me, taking no interest at all. I don't know anything about camping, the most experience I have had is when Cleo, Emma and I camped with the Sertori's, Lewis and Charlotte. I grimace a little at the thought of her, stupid wannabe mermaid. I shake my head and look over to the other group who have finally lit their fire, and were eating food. I don't care, I don't need to food anyway, I ain't even hungry.

I close my eyes as I think about my first and only camping experience, the night of a full moon. What am I going to do if there is a full moon here? A sudden wave of panic washes over me as I look up at the night sky, my heart beating so fast I think it's going to pull out of my chest. I look around at the people who I could be exposed to, luckily there was no water around here; But that couldn't stop me making fires. It couldn't stop me doing anything to anyone, I could hurt someone, maybe even kill them.

I shudder and draw my knees to my chest, putting my head on my knees and trying to not think of the worst. It was my fault I was here, I just had to deal with the consequences all by myself, I brought it all on myself, this is my problem and I am the only one who can deal with it.

"Team work Rikki." Someone touches my shoulder and I jump up quickly, putting my arms over my chest when I see everyone look towards me with shocked looks on their faces. I shake my head at the counselor who pulled me out of my daze.

"Whatever, I don't care." I mutter as I sit back down and look away from my group, who cares if we don't eat anyway? I just want to go home, Dad wouldn't let me stay here if I wasn't eating, he would take me home straight away. I hope.

That night I look around at my fellow 'campers' sleeping as I grab the kitchen knife out of my bag, everyone is asleep, I can finally do what I have been longing to do since I arrived here. I don't belong here, I am not supposed to be here. These people sleeping around me, they need help and they deserve help. I am only here because my parents can't handle me, because I have no friends and no life. I am not here because I have to be, I am here because they want me to be.

I sigh as I drag the kitchen knife across my wrist as deep as I can manage, I smile to myself when I feel the pain, it feels so good. I finally feel something, something other than hurt and pain ironically. I feel almost happy, and glad when I watch the blood trickle down my wrist and onto my bag, it feels good to know that I am still here, I am Rikki somewhere deep down.

I wrap an old t-shirt around my bleeding wrist and wipe away the tears falling from my eyes, I look up at the night sky and close my eyes. It's hard to imagine what I was like this time a year ago, I can't remember it well. But I know it was a better life than this, I had friends, a boyfriend, I had amazing abilities, that I am now too scared to use. I can't tell anyone, I have nobody to share my secret with.

I have nobody.

I am nobody.