Chapter 18

I did get to the top of that mountain. I was wrong about what was waiting for me, because nothing but my friends that I had made during my stay here were on the other side. There were many more miles to go until we were allowed to go home. There would be more mountains to climb, more paths to stumble across, more rocks to fall over and more fields to trample across.

There was only another week to go; One whole week. One more climb, and over that mountain would be the people I love. They would be waiting for me, and then they were going to take me home. I know it.

I grin to myself as I think of home. A bed. A kitchen. A toilet. I grin as I think of the ocean, I haven't been swimming for so long, I haven't seen water for too long. I would be home soon.

"Letters!" Robert shouts as we all wake up the next morning and sit around the camp fire from last night. I smile at Gemma as she grabs a letter from Robert when he walks past. I notice she only has one, whereas others; Including myself, have several. I look through mine, four letters all together, I smile as I open the first one. Recognizing Emma's handwriting.

Dear Rikki,

I am so sorry for that night. I know I pushed you too far, and I regret it so much. I just miss everything... I miss who you used to be, I miss what good friends we all were and most of all I miss you swimming with us. It's hard to swim these days and not see you besides me, or behind me for that matter. Always behind. Maybe one day I will let you win, maybe..

I really miss you though and when I heard we were allowed to write to you I took the chance immediately. I love you so much and I really want you to be okay again, I want the old Rikki back, sarcasm and everything. I miss it all Rikki, I miss you, and I wish I hadn't let you go off with Avril. I should have fought for you harder and I know what you're thinking, you have a mind of your own, and I couldn't tell you what to do. But I should have tried, I could see where it was going, where it could lead and now look where you are.

When you get out I hope you can move on from this, because we can. We won't do it all over again Rikki, we can't handle it all as much as we miss you.. when you're hurting then so are we and we would do anything to stop your pain, we would love to know what caused this but you can't tell us until you find out yourself, and when you do I hope you can rely on us, I hope you can trust us enough to let us in.

I can't wait to see you.

I can't wait to swim with you by mine and Cleo's side again.

I miss you

Emma, x

I wipe away a tear falling down my face when I fold up the letter and put it in my bag. I hurt them all so bad when I tried to stop my own pain. I was so selfish.

I smile at Cleo's messy writing on the next envelope.

Rikki,

It's not really the same without you around, it's a lot quieter and it doesn't feel right being a mermaid anymore, I guess it's because as you have said before, there are only meant to be three mermaids; Not two and not four. It's not right without you, and when you come back to us I really hope you're okay again.

I was looking through photographs the other day, you have changed so much, I wish you hadn't. I don't know what happened, I guess you're lost. But when you find yourself again, I will still be here. I will always be here. I miss you a lot, and so does Emma, she won't tell me that though, she is closed up right now; Like you!

Next time Rikki, promise me one thing, promise me that you will tell us something is wrong, tell us please.. We can't help you otherwise and I would love to be able to help you. I want you to be okay again and I want you to be happy.

I remember when we went to Mako Island for the first time, the time we became mermaids. I hated it at first, but you were the brave one; You loved it. Emma took some time getting used to it as well, but sometimes it seemed like you were meant to be a mermaid, it suited you. Your power suits you a lot as well, I wish that I could turn back time and go back to that day. I wouldn't change a thing, but I would make sure you opened up more. I would make sure that you were okay. Because you never told us anything, we all just assumed you were fine. We didn't know anything was going on.

I love you so much,

See you soon!

Love from Cleo x

I shake my head and laugh at the memory, one of the best moments of my life. I remember how Cleo felt about it, she didn't like water, she couldn't swim so it took some time getting used to it for her. And Emma was a champion swimmer, she was amazing from what I have heard, it was hard for her as well because she couldn't do that anymore, she had to give up what she loved and what she was good at. I had no attachment to the water, I wasn't scared of it but I wasn't in love with it. I was okay with the whole mermaid thing. I loved it.. I still do.

I look at the remaining two letters and trace my fingers over the tiny writing on one envelope and decide to open the other one first.

My darling Rikki,

We don't know where everything went wrong, and as much as we wish we did, we can't pin point exactly where we messed up. Now, I know what you're thinking; This was all you, not us. But we had some play in this, it may have been a delayed reaction to our divorce. We don't know if something happened to you one day, we don't know if anything happened to you... But we hope nothing did. But at the same time it would explain the sudden change in behavior, you were so beautiful, so calm and you were a wonderful girl. I know your Mum hasn't been around much and she regrets that greatly, and it's all going to change when you come has moved closer and every single weekend and whenever you want to, you can go see her, I won't mind. We have been getting on amazingly well since you left, I know it's a bit late but we are going to try so hard when you come back. We promise that.

It's all going to be okay, when you are out of there, we will make sure you're happy. We will find out where something went wrong, and it will be okay again.

Avril has moved away, she went to California with a band, she said goodbye. We are sorry about her leaving, but then again it may be a good thing. The bad influence is gone, and maybe now you can move on and maybe you will be okay and happy when you are back. Maybe you can move on from all of this, and go back to the old Rikki we all know and love.

We will see you so soon.

Stay safe and strong

We love you so much our baby girl.

Mum and Dad xxx

I put the letter in my bag and let the tears fall down my face, my hands shaking as I reach for the next and last letter. I sigh as I open it and see his beautiful writing.

My beautiful Rikki,

I am so sorry for everything, I didn't want to break up with you. I still love you, I think I always will to be honest. I miss you so much and I wish I could have handled it all, I don't know what was wrong with me. I love you and that will never change, I think you're amazing, beautiful, funny and wonderful. You're so different from my last girlfriends, you're so much better than all of them. You're the one I let get away from me, and if I could turn back time and make sure both of us forgot that one thing; that would be it. I would hold you when you cried, and I would make sure nothing bad ever happened to you.

The day we found you in that room, with that boy, and you were high on drugs, practically naked... All I could think about was how lost you looked, how depressed, how desperate you were. You still looked beautiful but you were not the Rikki I fell in love with, you were not the one I miss, I don't know what happened Rikki, I wish I could figure it all out but you are just like a closed book. I wish I could take away all the pain you are feeling, I want to be able to kiss you and hold you in my arms, I want to tell you everything is okay and I want to let you know how much I love you. I am always going to be here, and I really hope when you get out of there you can run back into my arms. If you can ever forgive me.

I just want to see you smile again.

I need to know you're okay and happy.

I love you, you're my world, I have memorized every single thing about you. Your beautiful, ocean blue eyes, so deep and so hidden. The small blush you get every time I kiss you, the way you look away from me and try to get away when you feel like you're going to cry. I love your grin, it always looks like you're up to something. I love the way you smile at me when you say hello, I even love the way you frown. You look beautiful even when you're angry.

You could be someone Rikki, you could make anything of yourself one day, and when you're better you're going to carry on doing well in school, ask anyone Rikki, we all know you're going places, you're going to be okay.

Right now, you're so far away, I miss you so much, I wish you were laying next to me, I wish you were asleep in my arms, I wish I could reach out and hold you right now. I wish I could kiss you. I wish I could hold your hand.

And when you come back, I really hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for being so selfish, I miss you so much and I love you... I want you to be happy, and if being without me makes you happy then I could accept that. I will just be friends, if that is what you want. As long as I can hold you again, I don't mind. As long as you let me look into those deep eyes, and as long as you let me touch your warm skin. I just want to be with you, you are the Juliet and I, Romeo. You are the love of my life, and I would die for you, I would die if I had to live without you I think. It took you being away for me to realize this, and I am sorry about that.

I LOVE YOU

Zane xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I wipe away the tears from my face and keep the letter in my hands for a minute before looking up at Gemma, I watch as she looks at the one letter in her hand with disgust.

"What's wrong?' She shakes her head at me as she storms off into the woods, to think on her own. This time I don't go after her, instead I pick up the letter she chucked on the floor.

"What was wrong with Gemma?" Carl smiles at me as he sits next to me, I open the crumpled letter and read it quickly. Shaking my head and muttering an 'oh no' when I was finished, handing it to Carl and looking around for Robert or someone.

"She is being sent back to that place." Carl gulped and looked at the direction she had run to. I nodded,

"Her Dad don't want her there, he can't handle it, he thinks sending her there is the answer but it's only going to make her worse, it's only going to make her hate herself more than she already does. He is seriously deluded if he thinks he is helping her." I sigh and get up to walk after Gemma, she will only need a few minutes alone before I talk to her.

I can't believe she is being sent back to that place, she won't be able to handle it one more time. I won't be able to see her again.

I shake my head and kick a rock when I think about never seeing one of my best friends ever again, it would be too hard.