Chapter 19

I smile at Gemma as best I can but she just shakes her head,watching as others start walking over to their parents. I sigh and then start looking for mine in the crowd,grinning when I see them waving at me. I nod at the counselors and then hug Gemma tightly before running over to them, waving back.

"Dad, Mum." I smile at them, wrapping my arms as tight as I can manage around my Dad's neck. He seems surprised at my gesture, as he wraps his own arms around my waist,

"I missed you." He whispers into my ear, I nod and then pull away from him, looking at my Mum, I hug her for a moment and then look around at my friends being greeted by their own parents.

"How is it?" I shrug,

"I hated it at first, but I have made good friends and I am starting to see what I did wrong. I am starting to see where everything started to mess up." I nodded and sighed when my Dad looked towards the Counselors.

"Are they good?" I nodded and then looked at Robert,

"They help a lot I guess."

"That's good." I laugh a little and then start to walk over to the drinks table, Mum and Dad following me. I turn when we reach the table,

"I can come home,right?" I watch as my Dad looks at Mum and she shrugs,

"They said they wanted to talk to us first." A wave of panic washes over me and I struggle to think for a moment,I can't be sent away again,I can't and I won't do it. I shake my head at them and watch as a tear falls down my Dad's face,

"Don't make me stay here," I whisper,my breath shaking. I roll up my sleeve,showing them my scars, "

I hate it,please don't make me stay here. I can't handle it here, I don't belong here. I never have and I don't think I ever will, please you can't make me do this." A tear falls down my cheek but I don't wipe it away, I want them to see it,I need them to feel guilty,they have to let me go home, they can't let me stay here. I won't let them.

"We are so sorry."

"NO! I am not going to stay here," I get up off the seat I sat on before, shaking my head, ignoring the prying eyes around me.

"Did you know about this?" My Mum shouts angrily at Robert, he calmly walks over and nods, looking at my still rolled up sleeve.

"We dealt with it at the time, it hasn't happened since we found out and it won't happen again. We would have told you if it was serious, we would have told you if she carried on. But she hasn't and no cuts had to be taken into the emergency room. She is okay." He looks at me but I put my arms over my chest and look away, towards Gemma.

"Go over there for a moment please Rikki." He says to me, I sigh heavily as I walk over to Gemma and shake my head. I look towards my parents,not wanting to know the decision they were about to make.

"What's happening?" Gemma whispers to me, I shake my head

"They still don't want me." I mutter as I continue to stare at them, Robert finally calls me over, I slowly walk over, my arms still over my chest, refusing to smile.

"We will talk later, right now we have some group work to do, okay?" I nod at him, knowing better than to get on his bad side. I look at my parents and sigh as I drop my arms to my side, I watch as Robert starts to speak at the front of the crowd, his voice loud and booming, echoing off the mountains around us.

"Now then, I want all of you to turn to your children and tell them why you sent them here." I look at him and then turn to my parents,waiting for their answer. Mum clears her throat, and looks at me straight in the face.

"I sent you here because I want you to find what you're missing. You have been lost along the way Rikki, I know you're not a bad kid. I know I haven't been around a lot, I know that I have hurt you in the past, but that is all going to change from now on. I thought it would be better to send you somewhere you can get help, I wanted to see you happy again. I don't like seeing you hurting so bad,I can't stand to look at the pain in your eyes. I just want you to discover yourself again, I want you to be at peace with yourself. We both love you so much." She reaches out her hand to me but I step back, shaking my head, warning her not to touch me. She understands the gesture and drops her arm, looking at my Dad.

"I sent you here because I couldn't help you anymore, all I have ever wanted is to see you happy, to smile when you smile,laugh when you do. But then the glitter went from your eyes, you would no longer smile, you never laughed, you were someone neither of us recognized. You don't even know who you are anymore Rikki, I can see that. You have lost so much, so many friends, and I want to make it all better for you, I know the only way I can help you is by making sure you get the help you need. I had to send you here because it came to a point where I could no longer save you from yourself, I didn't know how to help you and I am sorry for letting it get this far." He looks down at the floor, covering up the tears falling down his face. I shook my head in disbelief, he never cried, I had never seen him cry before. It felt strange, I had the sudden urge to clear the gap between us, and put my arms around him, but I refused myself,I wouldn't let them win. I wasn't planning on making this easy for them, if they wanted to help me then they should let me go home, they shouldn't be sending me somewhere worse. They should try to help me,not fob me off onto strangers, hoping everything would get better soon. I nodded once at them, watching as Robert came up behind them,putting his hand on my Dad's shoulder,smiling at him. I shake my head and gulp.

"Don't do this." I warn them,shaking my head and trying my best to not cry.

"I am so sorry baby girl." My Dad shakes his head, I look down, he can't do this to me. I didn't mean for things to get this bad;Please don't send me away.

I wanted to get down on my knees and beg for him to let me stay with him, to let me be happy again, I wanted his help, not a strangers.

But I didn't.

I remained stubborn, refusing to look him in the eyes, instead looking at the ground. I felt Robert by my side,

"She will be okay." He assures them, but he is so wrong. I won't be okay, I will never be okay again. He takes my arm and leads me over to the small group of teenagers waiting by the van, he grabs my bag on the way there. I nod at Gemma and Robert lets go, I look back at them,

"You will regret this!" I shout back at them, watching as they turn away and go back to their happy lives.

I sigh as I get into the van, not wanting to leave the mountains all of a sudden. It had to be better than the place they were sending me; Anything was better than that place from what I have heard from the other teenagers.

Anything.