Chapter 5

Leo P.O.V

Leo snapped awake- his skin damp- no- dripping- with sweat.

"Leo!" he felt a hand grip his shoulder and without even thinking, he spun out of the grip and landed on the cold, hard floor shaking.

It was just a dream- it was just a dream…

Only as his breathing began to steady did Leo finally realises there were tears in his eyes and that someone was watching him.

"Bro?" It was Raph. He sounded… scared?

Leo hurriedly wiped his eyes and turned, meeting his directly younger brother's concerned gaze.

"W…what?" The eldest turtle hated how weak and scared his voice came out. The nightmare had really shaken him up.

Blood… so much blood…

Raph knelt down next to his brother, dropping a blanket over his shaking shoulders before wrapping an arm around him, but Leo shook both off.

"I'm fine." He muttered, yet he knew that neither of them believed it.

"Wha…" Raph cleared his throat, "What the shell happened? You alright- really?"

Leo blinked, not used to his brother sounding so tender. He shook his head.

"Just a dream…" He was still shaking so allowed Raph to place the blanket back over his shoulders.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Tell me." Leo glared at his brother, hating the fact was using the technique he used himself on his younger brothers- hated the fact he actually wanted to open up.

"Leo. I'll wake the others and tell them you were screaming in your sleep." It wasn't an idle threat- Leo could see it in his brother's eyes.

"From the battle…" he muttered, not looking at Raph anymore, but rather at the floor, the wall- or anywhere but his brother, "But this time- you guys were there…" He swallowed, breathed and turned back to meet Raph's, "I… I…" then it was too much. The exhaustion caught up with him and the fearless leader felt the tears begin to flow down his cheeks. He moved to wipe them away, yet to his surprise, Raph pulled Leo in tight and rubbed his shell the way Splinter used to do when they were little.

"Only tell me if you can, bro… You must'a been through a lot." Raph whispered awkwardly. Oddly- Leo felt as if their roles had been reversed, and the realisation dawned in his mind that Raph had really stepped up to the whole leader thing in the past three months. Still, now he had started explaining to Raph, he wanted to finish- to let Raph know the reason the eldest of the group had woken up screaming.

"I killed you all…" he sobbed into Raph's shell, "Instead of… of the Foot, it was you and… and I murdered you all…" He shook his head sadly, "Help me, Raph…" As much as it pained him to admit it, the statement rung true. Leo needed help for what he'd been through- even he- the leader of the turtles- could not come back from his torments alone. He needed his brothers, more than he had ever done before.

His words also seemed to shock Raph.

"How?" Was all he said, but Leo placed his own hand on his brothers.

"I need to be strong for the others, but look at me Raph…" Leo faltered, the harsh memory of Shredder and his blades cutting deeper than the physical wounds.

Raph looked, his eye hovering over the shattered kneecap to the deep scar in Leo's shell.

"What happened to you?" Raph muttered half to himself- half to his brother to hear. When he did not receive an answer he spoke up again. "Leonardo? Please. Let me in. I'm here for you."

But still Leo didn't answer, that was when Raph lost it and slammed a fist into the mattress- probably so it wouldn't wake the others- but it still jolted Leo out of his contemplation.

"Damn it bro! Why do you have to do this? You ask for help but you didn't answer! Why? Because you need to face the world on your own like a hero or something? Because you're the 'fearless leader'?" The moment Raph said those words, he regretted them. He saw Leo's eyes harden and an invisible wall suddenly fall between the two brothers. "Leo- I'm… I'm sorry- I didn't-"

"You didn't- what, Raph?" Leo's voice was cold. He felt an odd fire burning in his heart- the deadly flames of anger- yet he did nothing to stop them. "You didn't mean to tell me what you're really thinking? Fine. Be that way."

Despite hardly ever losing his cool in such a harsh manner, Leo didn't even want to take back what he had said and how he had snapped as the fact remained, Raph's words really stung. Leo had always hated his nick name of 'fearless' and Raph's use of it then just seemed cruel. Yes- he was suffering, yet was his brother completely incapable of such a basic emotion as empathy?

Forcing down the temptation to scream at his brother, Leo rose on shaking legs- his knee throbbing painfully. He knew Casey was going to leave a crutch outside the door- or more accurately the crutch Donnie would have mended after the human teen messed the job up. All he needed was to get through the door and- Leo fell to the floor. His knee was so unstable and painful it had taken one step for the doddering joint to give out completely, landing him on the cold and hard wooden boards.

Through this, Raph did not even move. Leo felt his face beginning to burn. He had expected an argument- a retort of some kind- something that would feel natural after the emptiness of the long months in the void. He had expected something which would take him back to the way it used to be- not like this, not when his weakness was so obvious for everyone to see. Leo fought the growing tide of frustration and attempted to stand again when he heard a creak of a board and Raph's strong hands pulled Leo to his feet.

"Get off-" Leo began- yet his words were cut off by Raph's sudden action.

He hugged Leo. Not one of the half-hearted tugs around the shoulder blades- but a full on hug.

"Leonardo." The eldest silently wished his brother wouldn't use his full name, that told Leo Raph was being honest, "Calm down. I'm sorry… I… I wasn't thinking." Leo tensed. Such an apology was rare- no- was unheard of- from the red banded turtle and slowly, Leo's earlier fury began to dwindle. "We'll get you through this. I swear."

"Raph." Leo choked, his anger faded into nothingness at his brother's considerate words, "Where's Sensei?"

As usual, sorry for the long wait! So:

What will Raph say?

How will Leo react?

Is Raph actually a good comforter after all?!

Leave your amazing reviews and thank you so much to all of your great ideas- especially thanks to pownxmanonnie for Casey's crutch being fixed by Donnie idea but still thank you to EVERYONE! You guys are the best readers ever!

LL99 (Feeling very good about the reader's responses) OUT!