A/N: Hello all and thank you for reading my story! I actually like the direction that this is going in and I'm keeping up with it! They are generally all shit chapters, but that is because I write at like 2 in the morning and post late at night as well so I THINK my chapter is good and then re-read to find out it's crappy. I ain't changing them though. Not yet anyways. Two things I would like to address though on my puny amount of reviews. I am trying to answer them to clarify for the reviewers (and readers who read the reviews) on why I put certain info in my story.
1) I got a review saying: "the show is unique in that the concept of zombies never existed. Thus they make up names i.e. walkers." The show never once uses the word zombie at all, that is true. Yet in the comic book they are mostly called walkers with the word zombie being used very seldom. I think the only time I can remember 'zombie' being used was when Tyreese and Rick are in the prison discussing how weird it is to use the word 'zombie'. So in my story, these people have the concept of what zombies were before the outbreak, but call them walkers, biters, geeks etc. for kicks.
2) Another review: "topaz is an orange gemstone. Not blue…" I'm really not pulling this color out of my ass people. Yes, topaz is an orange gemstone (which is a November birthstone and I believe is the most expensive color topaz you can get; also called Imperial Topaz), but there is also blue topaz (which is the state gemstone of Texas where my character is from FYI). There's also yellow, pink, and purple topaz as well.
Thank you to: MissDarkBlu259 who says she likes my story. That makes me so happy! Also thank you to Teacup (such a cute name) for requesting that I write more! I'd also like constructive criticism as well. It may be two am when I write these chapters, but I still like input! Also to tell me if I am doing a good job too. I apologize for this late chapter, I've been out of school and haven't cared to pick up my computer, ha!
The week was up for poor Randall. It was a little amusing watching as Shane and Rick put a blindfold and some headphones with tunes playing as the pair threw the poor boy in the trunk of the car. They made their way out early morning, planning on putting quite a bit of distance between the boy and the farm, leaving the rest of us to our own devices. I hadn't interacted much with Daryl since we went hunting. He still stuck to his own space out some ways from Rick's group and when he was around it was usually to eat with them in the mornings or at lunch on Carol's insistence. Between him and I there would be the occasional glances to each other and a nod when we made eye contact. I hadn't even gone hunting since I last went with him either. Maybe I was avoiding hunting again in fear of having to cut up another animal.
After saying bon voyage to the kid I lounged in the porch swing that was on the back porch of Hershel's house. The fences around the farm were looking mighty strong at the moment. We had deer meat and other food to eat. Food wouldn't have to be harvested for another week and Hershel was already out there tending to the crops with Jimmy. There wasn't really much to do today and I was grateful for that. It was a hot day and made me thankful that we had finished chores up early for the week. This whole week seemed to fly by because of all the chores Hershel had me doing and it was nice to be able to kick my feet up and rest a bit. I know Hershel will have me doing something tomorrow, but for today I can swing away and listen to the wind pick up as I rest my aching feet by kicking off my boots.
Speaking of feet, I heard footsteps headed in my direction and wanted to open my eyes to glare out at them. I just wanted a little R&R was that so much to ask? Peeking with one eye open to the side I saw dusty old boots and worn black jeans with a couple holes in them. Looking up a bit more I saw a button up shirt, but the black cut over it that caused the corner of my mouth twitched upward. "What can I do for you Robin Hood?" I asked with a smirk closing my eyes once again. I heard his scoff as his weight leaned against the wood railing, causing the old wood to groan in protest. He didn't say anything which was just fine with me. The silence was nice every once in a while and his presence was calming in a way.
Hearing the back door slam closed, I peeked again to see who it was and saw Maggie coming out, looking absolutely exhausted. Sitting up on the porch swing, my right leg fell down to hit the wood porch deck. "You alright girlfriend?" I asked, watching as her light green eyes turned in my direction. They flashed momentarily to Daryl next to me, who was also staring at her, then moved back to me. She gave me a half smile, nodding her head, as she walked over and sat next to me.
"Yeah. Andrea gave me a break and is watching Beth for me for a bit. I just needed a break." She sighed, rubbing her eyes and leaning back on the porch swing causing us to sway. I noticed Daryl shift and saw he looked a little uncomfortable. Probably because I don't think he has ever had a conversation with Maggie before. Or even been this close to her. Flashing him a slight smile in hopes that it would calm his nerves, I turned my attention back to Maggie, rubbing her shoulder. She seemed to relax at that and leaned into the touch.
"Go find Glenn and get lost for a bit then. Take a walk. Have a talk. Eat something. Calm your nerves." I said waving my hand around for her to go have some fun with Glenn while she can. Maggie's eyes flashed between myself and Daryl before she stood up off the porch swing.
"Whatever, you just want some alone time with your guy yourself." She said as she walked back into the house, making me gape behind her. I could feel my face turning red and I looked down momentarily to hide behind my hair. I can't believe she said that! Especially in front of him. After I had come back from my hunting trip with Daryl she constantly teased me about it saying that we did more than hunt out there. As if. Daryl was too… shy for that sort of thing.
Peeking through my hair over at the man I noticed he was no longer leaning against the railing of the porch and was standing upright, attacking the skin around his left thumbnail. He was nervous and it made me let out a small giggle. Daryl glared at me with those beautiful blue eyes and I looked up to meet his gaze. It made me laugh again when he was red himself. "W-what?" He almost yelled at me, shaking his head as he was about to walk off.
Just as I was about to grab his arm to stop him from leaving me we both froze, hearing Maggie yell out Beth's name. I got up fast, moving past Daryl and into the house. Running into Beth's room with Daryl right behind me I saw both Lori and Maggie banging on the connecting bathroom door. "Beth?!" I yelled, running to the door, jiggling the handle and began banging on the it as well. Maggie looked to me frantically, her eyes widened with worry. "I heard glass."
"Hun, open the door!" I yelled again. Feeling myself being moved out of the way, I watched as Daryl had moved in front of us with a fire poker and opening the lock by wedging it between the door and doorframe, allowing the door to swing open.
We watched as Beth turned towards us, shard of glass in her hand, blood on her wrist, crying. "I-I-I'm sorry." She cried, looking down at the glass and not really knowing what to do. Maggie made her way inside, pulling the glass out of her hand and onto the floor and pulling Beth against her, arms wrapping around the small blond. I walked in after, grabbing a bath towel off the rack and holding it to Beth's wrist while Maggie comforted her sister with words. The young girl cried into Maggie's shoulder and clutching me with the hand that had once held the glass. Rubbing her back I turned towards Lori and Daryl, both just standing around.
"Hey Daryl can you go get Hershel?" I asked, pulling the two sisters into the bedroom and making Beth sit on the edge of the bed with me. Daryl left without a word while I looked up to Lori. "Where the heck did Andrea go?" I asked, peaking at the wound on Beth's wrist.
Beth looked up at me, tears still in her beautiful grey eyes. "I-I didn't mean to. I'm sorry Maggie. I'm sorry Devin." The young girl wailed, continuing her tears on the other brunette's shoulder. The corner of my mouth twitched up as I pat her back before gently, rubbing her back in smooth circles while holding pressure to her wrist.
Bringing my hand to Beth's free and uninjured wrist with my own free hand, I pulled it to my tattoo on my right forearm, the one with the Vegvisir compass, and made her extend her index finger. Taking her finger, I ran it down one of the tattoo lines that went up the middle of my forearm as I watched her expression change. "There's a scar." She said, voice small, moving the finger on her own this time. She looked at the tattoo more intensely now as she looked up at me with sad eyes.
"Yes. I got this tattoo shortly after I made that scar. Well almost a year after, but that was long enough for it to be seen." I said, turning suddenly hearing footsteps from Hershel, and Daryl. Eyeing them a moment I turned back to Beth as she sat up a little straighter. "You're not alone with this Beth. You'd be surprised at how many people have done this before, myself included. Unlike myself though, you stopped and feel bad about what you just did. Also you have family here who came and checked on you a lot quicker than mine did. A family that loves you and wants to spend as much time with you. This world might be messed up, but you still have family. You're not alone here in this scary world." Beth sniffled, nodding her head and holding Maggie harder. I checked her wrist again and noticed that her wrist wasn't bleeding as badly and I looked over to Hershel. "This needs stitches." I said, and smiled slightly when he had his bag in hand.
As Hershel took my place next to his daughter I stood up straighter and walked over to Daryl, planning on walking out to give the Greene's some space until Beth's voice stopped me. "Why did you…?" I turned to her, quirking a brow. I watched as the girl licked her lips before continuing. "Why did you cut yourself?"
"I-I um…" I stammered looking to those around me. I looked down momentarily, trying to calm myself before looking back up at Beth. "U-um… I graduated high school when I was 16. At the time I was with a guy and I decided to go to college in another city that was about two hours away. My boyfriend didn't like the idea. Didn't want me leaving. He tried to convince me it wasn't something I wanted to do… I don't know." I paused, biting my bottom lip and looking at the floor again. "He beat me. Attacked me. Almost a month before I went off to college. He said he wanted to hurt me bad enough to where I wouldn't be able to leave on time. While he was whaling on me, he told me his plan was to attack me a week before leaving, but he did it as soon as I said I wanted to break up with him." I looked to the Greene's, watching as Hershel worked on Beth's wrist as the sisters watched me. Maggie gave me a look of concern and it only made my lip tremble lightly. Crossing my hands over my chest I continued. "I spent almost a week at the hospital. My cheek was broken. I had bruised ribs and a cracked femur. I was on bedrest at home. I couldn't do anything and I couldn't understand why my boyfriend would beat me up for wanting to go to college. It made me depressed. I hid that well from my parents. Four days before going to college I… got a hold of a razor and made the cut. I was planning on doing the other arm too and just when I was about to my parents came in. They were both in the medical field. Stopped the bleeding. Took me to the hospital. Then when it time to go to college I went, was a week let in starting classes, but I went and had to see a psychiatrist." I ended, slowly creeping my way towards the door and next to Daryl.
Beth looked to me, her eyes holding unshed tears. "Th-thank you Devin. For helping me. And telling me your story." I smiled slightly and turned on my heel, pushing past Daryl gently and heading back outside. I walked out the front door though this time, because I knew people would be out towards the back and I could feel myself seconds from breaking down. I pushed through the front door and practically jumped down the stairs, raising my arms above my head and taking deep breaths. I heard footsteps behind me, walking down the steps. Turning my head, I saw Daryl, looking as uncomfortable as ever, but still in my presence.
"You don't have to stick around me 'cause you feel sorry for me." I said, wiping my face of the couple of tears that fell. I let out a small laugh, looking down at the ground. I heard his footsteps continue closer to me and I looked up at the sky, taking in deep breaths.
"I don' feel sorry for ya. Not at all." His gruff voice spoke out making me turn my attention to him and turn my body towards him. "You survived something. That makes ya strong. It's just the way ya tried to take yourself out. That was chickenshit." He huffed, his voice raising a couple octaves making me cross my arms in front of my chest. I sighed looking down again before looking back up into his ice blue eyes. He walked up in front of me, grabbing my arm and running his own fingers down my scar as if he was trying to verify that it was really there. Shaking his head, he made eye contact again. "Ya went through one beatin' in yer life and ya tried to off yerself. While some people go through it every day of their lives and keep goin'." I broke eye contact with him at this point and he stepped unbelievably close that when I looked up our noses almost touched. "It's hard to get beat down an' get back up. Even harder to continue gettin' beat down then havin' to get up over an' over again. Sometimes it's by yer own family! Not some little boy ya think yer in love with. Sometimes yer family hurts ya more than those around ya!" I could hear the crack in his voice as he spoke of family. How he suddenly got so passionate about this. He was breathing hard and I watched as his hands fisted at his sides. His blue eyes were hard to see by how he was glaring.
Our eyes me again. With tears falling down my cheeks slowly, I spoke. "You don't get to tell me what I did was chickenshit. I already know that. I've known that for almost ten years now. I also know I am strong Daryl. I am strong for surviving what my ex put me through and I am strong that I survived attempting to kill myself." I watched as his brows knit together as he listened to me. My lip trembled lightly as I lunged at him, wrapping my arms around him. He froze, becoming tense with my arms around his waist. He had his arms held out to his side, not knowing what to do with them and I am sure that our position together would look comical to others if they walked out and found us like this. "I am strong that I was able to get through college with anxiety and depression. I am strong that I was able to get over an addiction. I am strong that I am alive now, at the end of this world. I've been through more than just abuse from other people. I've been through abuse that I put myself through willingly. Stupidly." I mumbled, gripping the back of his jacket. "I am strong though. You are too." My voice quivered. "Whatever your family put you through, you got through it. You're strong too."
"You don't know nothin', girl." He growled, still keeping his arm away from me. His body was hard beneath mine I smiled lightly, leaning back to look up with him. I brought my left hand to my cheeks, wiping dried tears and then wrapping that arm back around him, watching his face contort slightly at the repeated touch.
"No, I don't know nothing or anything about you. Just the little things you let out." I said, looking up into his eyes and I watched as he went a little slack. Our noses brushed this time, causing my cheeks to light up. His hot breath on my jaw made me quiver again. I leaned in a little more, the feeling of his stubble brushing against my face. I saw him panic a little, his eyes going wide. He didn't move. Just stared at me, not knowing what to do.
The door on the porch opened and we jumped away from each other, flustered and red-faced. Looking up at the porch I saw Maggie give a look at us with a raised brow. Daryl stormed off, cursing, walking fast, and awkward and I could only laugh nervously and rub my head to look up at the other woman. "Sorry, I didn't know I'd interrupt something." She said with a smile that only made me turn even more red as I fixed my hair and pulled the loose strands behind my ears.
"How is Beth?" I asked, biting my lower lip trying to distract the brunette from what she just saw.
She smiled, nodding her head. "She's fine. I just wanted to tell you that she's doing better and daddy got her all fixed up and she's sleeping. Thank you for calming her down." She laughed, giving me a sly smirk. I eyed her warily and began walking up the stairs of the porch. "What was that about?" She asked, her country twang strong and in full force motioning back to Daryl who was long gone by now. I blushed, shaking my head and crossing my arms.
"I-I don't know. This has been a weird day." I said, giving her a nervous grin and walking around the wrap around porch to go retrieve my boots that were forgotten by the porch swing.