I look around me, hearing footsteps not so far behind me. That's when I sprint, not looking where I am going, only seeing the blurs or objects, people.. only catching small glimpses of their faces. I don't stop to look; I want to but I can't. Someone is chasing me, they won't halter. I am forever guilty, forever in their debt, they are always going to be after me. I can feel it deep down, the shame, my conscious eating away at me; Telling me I have done something wrong, I just don't know it yet. What is it? What have I done?

That's when I fall over, and as I roll over, I look at the full moon in the sky and shake my head. Before I know it, I lift up my hands, looking at them in the silver light, it's glittering off something, a substance on my hands, but I don't know what it is. I can't see clearly, I bring them closer, noticing the red liquid dripping off them. I shake my head and quickly get up, not knowing, not comprehending where all the blood came from, and I keep wiping it away but it's back, it won't stop growing, dripping, someone is dying... fading... disappearing... dying..

I can't shake the feeling that it's all my fault, I have done something, I have hurt someone and I don't know who. I carry on running, ignoring the blood, trying to think of something else. Then I look at someone in front of me, realizing who the blood is from; Gemma. I run over to her, screaming her name, she is just laying there. Pale and shaken. It's my fault.. it's all my fault and I, like Lady Macbeth, will never be able to get the blood off my hands.

I wake up suddenly and look around the room, I can feel my legs shake as I notice Gemma is not in her bed. I shake my head, she wouldn't do anything, she wouldn't do this to me. She wanted to be happy, she wanted it more than anything. I already know though, I know as soon as I approach her bed. I let a tear slide down my cheek and onto the small, pink, paper note laying on her cushion. Underneath it is her favorite teddy bear – Sam – I shake my head instantly knowing what this means. I take the note in my hands, scanning it, never taking in the words. I look around the room once more, and run out as fast as I can.

She wouldn't do this, please don't let her do this. Tears plummet down my face, leaving wet patches on my pale skin. I can feel my whole body shaking, my best friend could be dead right now and what can I do about it?

I should have woken up sooner.

I should have been there for her.

I should have saved her from coming back here.

I should have …

I should have...

I sigh as I close my eyes, reaching the gate, there is no hole though. She couldn't have made it, not yet. And that's when I hear her, "Rikki?:" I turn around and speed towards her, grabbing her before she collapses onto the dirt ground, clinging to a tree. I hold her in my arms and shake my head, not caring that my tears splash onto her.

"What did you take?"

"Don't worry." She stutters out, I shake her, trying not to damage her in anyway. I love her so much, she is my best friend, I can't have her leave me as well. I don't want to be alone. Don't let me be alone.

I fight the urge to run from all of this, to turn my back on her, scramble out of the gates and run, never stopping. I have said this so many times, I am meant to be a loner. I have always been alone, that's the way things were supposed to be. I ruined everything when I made friends, it's all my fault. This is all my fault.

I can feel my heart beating fast, too fast and I shake my head.

"Help!" I scream as loud as I can,

"Please help me.." I whisper as Gemma touches my face with her freezing hand, smiling up at me.

"I will be okay now, I am going to be safe."

"No you're not going to be okay, please."

"I am sorry." She croaks out, I shake my head,

"No. Don't speak.. It's going to be okay,." I look around, hearing people shout, footsteps close.. closer.

"You have been an amazing friend, never forget that." I look away from her before looking into her eyes,

"Gemma, don't leave me. We are going to get out of here, we will be happy."

"No, you're going to be happy, I will never be happy again. I am giving you a chance. I don't want to burden you with me." I shake my head quickly, the tears never cease, still splashing onto her dressing gown.

"Don't leave me, you're not a burden, you're anything but that. Please."

"I love you." I shake my head,

"No, please. You're going to be okay." I watch her as she closes her eyes, still holding her in my arms, not hearing anyone come.

"Help." I whisper,

"No, don't leave me, don't die. I need you." I feel someone pull me off her, but I feel numb. The tears finally stopping, she isn't dead, it's just a dream, it's okay.

"Rikki what happened?"

"She wanted to die." I mutter as I am helped up by someone next to me, I don't see their faces, I only see Gemma's.

"She wanted to." I shake my head and feel the woman next to me grab my arm,

"Come on." I follow her willingly, not fighting her. I don't have the energy to fight anymore. I don't want to.

I walk into the bedroom and stare at the note on the floor, I slowly pick it up. Only now reading it properly.

Rikki,

I will be gone hopefully when you read this, I am so sorry that I couldn't be the friend you deserved so badly. I needed someone and you were always there for me, but because of everything I have always felt like I can never return the favor. I can never thank you enough for everything you have done for me, and I can't bare to burden you anymore, you are the only person who has ever believed me and I don't think I could ask for anything more off you.

I hope that one day you can see how much you deserve a normal, happy life. One filled with joy, family and a life. Don't let this eat you up anymore, don't let it destroy you. I have let this get the best of me, I let it kill me but I won't let it do the same to you.

I am always going to watch over you. This is my favor to you.

I love you, my best friend forever.

Gemma