Surprise! I am on a roll this week! Three stories updated in one week! And I plan to do more very soon! I think this chapter serves more to get a better feel for the surgical life than actual plot stuff, but I have a lot of good things drafted for chapter 5 and 6!

And before you start, I'd just like to say I'm sorry how I start this chapter. I'll make it up to you, I promise!

-DFD

Chapter 4

Both of them knew they were too tipsy to drive to her apartment so they hailed a cab to take them back. The entire ten-minute trip was nerve racking. Anakin had his arm wrapped around her shoulder while her hand rested on his thigh. The way his hand ghosted along her bicep left goose bumps in their wake and she can feel the beginnings of the ache between her legs that she had not felt in a long time. Her fingers dug into the fabric of his jeans and she felt the muscles in his leg tighten in anticipation.

The trip felt longer than ten minutes by the time they reached her apartment and the elevator ride was far too slow. They stood holding hands, their fingers brushing gently while they fidgeted waiting for the doors to open. When the elevator finally stopped on her floor they could not get out fast enough. Stumbling down the hall she fumbled with her keys to open the door before grabbing his shirt and pulling him in. The door slammed loudly behind him but she didn't care. Pressing her lips to his she forced her tongue into his mouth and he moaned into her mouth. His hands held her hips against his, gently caressing them before he hunched over slightly to grab the backs of her thighs before lifting her up. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist and she pressed herself against his hardening length, eliciting a moan from both of them. Padme brought her arms to his hair and gripped the curls tightly. When he broke the kiss she took the opportunity to press kisses along his jaw while he looked around the space for the door leading to the bedroom.

Making his way to the room, he pressed kisses along her throat as she did the same to him. Pushing the door open he carried her over to the bed before setting her down on it. But with her hands and legs still wrapped around him he had no choice but to go down with her. His weight was heavy, but in a good way. She felt his hands on her sides and his lips on her throat and it felt divine. She wanted to feel more of him. Gripping the neck of his shirt she started to pull it up and over his head. It got stuck part way over but they only giggled at the momentary lapse before they were hungrily kissing once more.

Her hands traced his chest, she could still remember most of the details of it but there were some changes to it over the years. Her brow furrowed as she traced over several small raised scars on his pectoral. Pushing him back she glanced down at where her hand was on his chest. Padme's eyes widened as she stared at what were obviously scars. The right pectoral her hand was resting on had six scars that looked to be from bullets. Trailing her and across to his left shoulder she found a scar most likely formed from a cut from a knife. Looking lower she found similar scars marring his abs. She counted eight more bullet scars and three long knife scars along his torso.

"Padme…" He said, trying to get her attention off of the scars, but she was persistent. Her fingers trailed over each one and she only looked up after he took her hands in his to make her stop. Her eyes still didn't meet his though, "Padme." He called again.

"Ani…" Her voice was strained and sounded as if she were fighting back tears, "You wouldn't have gone if we hadn't divorced, would you?" She asked.

Anakin shifted and rolled back onto his heels, pulling her to sit up with him. He let her hands go in favor of taking her chin between his thumb and index finger, forcing her to look at him, "I know what your thinking," He starts, "this isn't your fault." He said, "I knew what I was getting into, I chose to go."

"But you wouldn't have gone if we stayed together." Padme said it more as a statement.

He stays silent, "None of this would have happened if I hadn't been such a jealous ass." He answered, "I shouldn't have done what I did. I shouldn't have got into that fight with Clovis the way I did. And I should have known that he meant nothing to you." He finally says before he pressed his forehead to hers, "I'm sorry."

He tried to lean in to kiss her again but she pulled back, shifting away from him and adjusting the collar of her shirt, "I can't." She said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this. Not like this. I'm sorry."

Anakin remains motionless for several moments, "Its okay," he says before he shifts to get off the bed, picking up his shirt and pulling it back on, "I'ts fine," He tries to reassure her he is not mad. "I'll… I'll see you at work." Anakin grabbed his sweater and backed out of her room.

Padme pulled her knees to her chest and closed her eyes when she heard the apartment door close. This was too much too fast. She had been drinking and it had made her act impulsively towards him and while she knew she would have let it happen- she had wanted it to happen- the memories of the divorce were just too painful to let it continue.

When Anakin had found Clovis kissing her, he went into a blind rage and attacked him. Clovis had fought back and the two of them refused to listen to her when she told them to stop. The fight only ended when Anakin punched him hard enough he slipped backwards and hit is head on the counter.

Padme let out a shaky breath as she remembered how terrified she had been. She had never seen Anakin like that before. She hadn't even known he was capable of such violence. Yet there it was, right in the middle of their kitchen. Fortunately Clovis decided not to press charges for assault. Unfortunately what happened formed a rift between her and Anakin, which ultimately lead to their divorce.

Her head was starting to hurt. Letting herself fall over onto her side, she closed her eyes and let a dreamless sleep consume her.

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Anakin was frustrated when he left her apartment. He had been tempted to just tell her to shut up and kiss her until they forgot what they were talking about, and he knew she would have given in if he had… but that would have only made things worse for tomorrow and who knows how much longer. He would rather her say no before rather than regret what happens later anyway. He's still frustrated at having been so close and having it fall apart all because of the past. Again. Standing in the elevator had punched the wall of the thing enough times and hard enough his knuckles were bruised. Gripping his fingers in his hands he closed his eyes and braced himself against the wall until he reached the ground. She had to want him if things were going to get better. He needed to be calm. He needed to be patient and just let things play out as they were meant to. Nothing is meant to be easy. He just had to keep reminding himself that. It was just frustrating how quickly she can go from wanting him to pushing him away.

When the elevator doors finally opened he rushed out as quickly as he could. At some point during this anti-climactic visit it had started to rain and it was now a downpour on the city streets. Anakin didn't really care though. The more rain the better for him; it would help clear his head. Walking out he didn't call a cab or even put his sweater on. He started walking in the general direction of the hospital as if the rain wasn't coming down on him in buckets.

On foot the walk to the hospital is about thirty minutes, but Anakin took his time walking so it took him about an hour to get back. The staff still working in the hospital gave him strange looks when he walked in dripping wet but he didn't pay them much mind. He made his way to the third floor attendings lounge where he keeps a duffle bag of his street clothes hidden. It is a good thing most attendings don't have to work at night unless there is an emergency. Pulling the bag out of its hiding place he pulls out a grey tee shirt while stripping himself of the soaked green shirt.

"I thought I'd find you here." A familiar voice said.

Anakin turned sharply towards the man standing in the corner of the room, "What are you doing here?"

The man pushed himself off from the wall he was leaning against, "I think I should be asking you that." He said, "Your brother called. Said you haven't been home since you came back. What is going on?"

Anakin scoffed and pulled the shirt over his head while he undid his belt and pants, "He's not my brother." He says, "And why does it matter to you, Ben?" He asks, letting his soaked jeans fall and pulls on a pair of loose fitting sweats, "You were the one who told me not to worry about them, that I should just stay over there and do my job. You didn't care then, so why do you care now?"

Ben walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "You've been drinking, haven't you?" Anakin nods his head, "What happened, tell me." Ben shifts so they are both sitting on the couch. Anakin is silent but Ben is persistent, "I will not let up until you talk to me, Anakin. I'll have the chief give me a job if I have to. Then you'll have no choice but to talk to me." With a heavy sigh, Anakin starts to tell Ben everything that happened and the man listens and waits patiently for him to finish.

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Padme walked down the hall of the hospital in an almost zombie like state. She had barely slept at all last night. She desperately needed coffee to give her a little boost in the morning. The attendings lounge was mostly empty, only a few other surgeons were there getting ready. Standing by the coffee machine was a doctor she has not seen here before. As the man turned, Padme's eyes widened, "Ben?" She asked, her face breaking into a smile as the ginger man recognized her.

"Padme," He greeted, pulling her in for a hug, "I was hopping to run into you this morning." He said, flashing her a bright smile.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

Ben gave a shrug, "Honestly, Anakin is why I'm here." He said, raising a hand to stop her questions, "Not for the reason you think. I'm not exactly the guy to ask about romance."

Padme furrowed her brow, "Then…" She tried to lure him into continuing and watched him let out a heavy sigh.

"I think you'd be better off asking him about that." He said, taking a sip of his coffee while his other hand is stuffed in the pocket of his white coat, "I hope you don't mind my asking…" he started, clearing his throat slightly, "But Anakin told me what happened last night." Padme felt the color rise to her cheeks and looked down slightly, "I'm just curious…" He takes another sip of his coffee, "You know he loves you. You know he regrets what happened. And you obviously still have feelings for him." Ben pauses as he lets the information sink in, "Like I said, I'm not someone to ask for relationship advice, but I'd say its fairly obvious what you should do, but are not doing." Ben gave a shrug before smiling, "I'll be seeing you, Doctor." He gave a nod of his head and walked away leaving Padme standing speechless.

"I seriously need coffee." She said with a groan as she started the machine.

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Anakin stood in the x-ray room staring at the latest scans of his patient. Ahsoka stood next to him while explaining how to perform the surgery, "…so after we have suture the artery to the pulmonary vein, we take her off bypass and close." Ahsoka smiled as she finished going through the procedure.

"Good. And what do we monitor for in post-op?"

"Check for bleeding, monitor blood sugar, and blood flow and correct with medication."

The door to the room opened, pulling Ahsoka's attention to the ginger doctor.

"Ben." Anakin greeted without turning.

"Anakin." He returned; his eyes trained on the scans, "Coronary artery bypass graft?" He asked.

"Yup. And it's a big one."

Ben stroked his beard, as he looked the scans over, "Have you considered stenting?"

"Yeah, but the damage is too extensive. I'm concerned that stenting won't return the appropriate blood flow." Anakin scratched the back of his neck. The older man nodded his head, "Ahsoka, go and check on Mr. Habeca. If he is still unconscious, run labs, check for everything. I don't want to rule out anything." The intern nodded, taking the tablet as she left the room.

Ben waits until Ahsoka is gone before speaking again, "I saw Padme this morning." He watched as Anakin's shoulders tensed and waited for him to respond. When it was clear he wasn't going to respond he continued, "She cares about you." He said, "Put in a bit of my two-sense to be honest, but I could tell she still cares." Ben looked over to gage his reaction. Anakin's face was focused on the scans, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Ben let out a long sigh, "I know you're frustrated. But like you said, you just have to be patient. In the mean time, why don't you go home? Last I spoke with Shmi, she misses you."

Anakin shook his head, "Can't. I have this surgery to get through."

"I can do the surgery. You should go home."

Anakin stepped up to the light box displaying the scans; "I have a surgery to prep for." He said, pulling down the scans and storing then in a folder before leaving the room quickly. In truth, he doesn't have a surgery scheduled for a couple hours. Ben probably knows that, and he hopes he doesn't follow him to call him on it.

The beep from his pager goes off and he looked down to check. The ER is prepping for the arrival of patients from a massive accident on the highway. Passing the scans to a nurse at the nurse's station, Anakin starts running for the ER. In the hallway just before the ER there were several surgeons standing in front of the supply cart dawning gowns and gloves. Padme is among them.

"What do we know?" He asks, grabbing gloves himself.

She looks up at him and is silent a moment, as she tries to read him before realizing what they were here to do, "Over-turned tractor-trailer on the freeway. Eight car pileup."

Anakin rolls his neck, "Long day then."

The ER fills up quickly as gurney after gurney pass through the doors. In times like these, it's all hands on deck. All surgeons fill the role of trauma, and general surgeons and only work on their specialization when a patient is in dire need of it. Padme quickly takes a patient with a neck injury while Anakin takes a patient with severe burns to her face and a large laceration in her chest.

The female patient is responsive but not too concerned about herself. She keeps asking for her son. Anakin quickly checks the burns and the cut. The wound is jagged and is at least eight inches long and very deep. The lack of bleeding means that it very well might have missed arteries but it could also mean there is something still inside her blocking it. "Where is he? Where is Corran?" She asks.

"Ma'am, We'll get news of your son as soon as we know something." He said, leaning over so she could see him, "Can you tell me your name?"

"Miri. Miri Gallia."

"Okay, Miri. The burn unit is on its way, but I want to take you up to the OR to fix this cut in your chest, alright?" Miri gives a small nod and Anakin orders for an OR to be ready for them.

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Padme's patient was a young boy named Tobbi. As far as she knew his parents had not been brought in yet but he was in dire need of surgery. His pupils are dilated and he is unresponsive. The chance of a brain bleed is large since the paramedic told her he had been unrestrained in the back seat of a car. As she ran through her exams the monitors started to beep erratically as Tobbi's eyes rolled back.

"Seizure." Padme called, pulling the patient towards her so he would lie on his side. The boy started to seize, foam formed at his mouth Padme counted the seconds since it started and it is too long, "I need five of lorazepam stat!" she called. The nurse beside her pulled out the required medication and injected it into Tobbi's IV. Slowly, the seizure stopped and he remained unconscious. She pulled his eye open to check for any signs of damage before ordering an MRI.

The scan showed a brain bleed and a clot between the frontal and parietal lobe. It explained his unresponsiveness as the frontal lobe controlled motor functions. If they wanted to prevent permanent damage they needed to operate immediately before he started to seize again.

[][][][]

Miri's chest wound was worse than he initially thought. There is a shard of metal debris cutting through one of her arteries causing her to bleed out into her chest cavity and her left lung. The jagged piece of metal cannot be removed easily because it will tear into more tissue as it leaves. He has two options: pull it out and repair the damage after, or try to operate around it and smooth it out as he goes. Both risk the patient bleeding out on the table. But the second option will most likely take longer to finish while at the same time ensuring no further damage is made when the metal is removed.

Anakin stood over her, his gaze shifting between the monitors displaying her vitals and the scans showing where the shard is located. He flexed his fingers as he weighed his options. Shaking his head, he decided. "Ten blade," The scrub nurse handed him the scalpel and he pressed it to the patient's flesh as he widened the cut before using the rib spreader to hold it open. Leaning over the incision he allowed the light from his headlamp to show him what was going on internally. He could see the arteries and the pierced lung as well as the black piece of metal protruding from the flesh. Reaching down, he allowed his fingertips to touch the jagged piece, and gently trailed his hand along it, careful not to shift it. He had to find where it ended before he started to extract it. He had know exactly what it was touching before he moved it. He could not see that far down even with the headlamp so he had to do it by touch. As he followed the piece he could feel the rough texture of the lungs brush the back of his hand. When he reached the other end, he felt for the tip, before realizing it was ever so gently touching the soft muscle of the heart. From what he could tell, it did not pierce it but once it was out he needed to check to be sure of that.

He slowly started to retract his hand, stopping once he was at the top again. Wrapping his hand around the shard, he counted in his head. One…two…three- and he pulled up sharply. Dropping the shard in a bin as the patient started to bleed out, he quickly returned his hand to the incision and started to quickly repair the arteries and lung.

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Padme's resident applied hydration as she drilled a small hole on the top of the patient's skull. When the drill penetrated the other side of the skull, blood started to flow out and suction was brought in immediately to start to clear the hole. Using the endoscope she placed the tubular end with the tiny camera into the brain, pushing it down through the surface to search for the bleeder. Padme watched the monitor on the hand piece as she guided the scope through the brain, careful not to bump anything. When she reached the divide between the frontal and parietal lobe she found the bleeder and the clot the MRI showed. Carefully she used the tool in the scope to drain the clot and restored blood flow.

Slowly she started to retract the endoscope before applying a thin dressing to the opening. Tobbi would need to leave his head open for a few days in order for the swelling in his brain to go down, but if she got to the clot in time he should make a full recovery with no mental deficits.

[][][][]

Anakin packed his patient's body with lap pads as the monitors beeped erratically. She would not stop bleeding even with his hand on the bleeder. He had spend four hours in the OR repairing the damaged lung and artery and just when he took her off bypass her heart starts bleeding. Anakin was fast to find the hole, but he hasn't found a way to fix it yet. He had tried to suture a patch to cover the hole but it did not hold. Right now his finger is the only think keeping her from bleeding out.

"Doctor, what do you need?" One of the nurses asked, applying more lap pads.

Anakin's mind raced as he tried to come up with a plan, "I need something that will hold a patch over this hole." He grunted. Her heart rate was elevating and he only had a short amount of time before she goes into V-fib and potentially dies. His eyes widen, "Cyanoacrylate." He runs through the scenario in his head, "glue. Get me glue." The nurses are quick to search through the OR for the glue and in less than two minutes he is handed a syringe full of it. Taking it in one hand, and having the resident prep another patch he counts. "Remove your hand on my count." He says, "One…two…three." The resident lifts his hand as Anakin pushes the syringe in, pressing on the stopper to force the glue out and onto the heart. Before the resident places the patch over the hole. When everyone takes their hands off the patient, they watch as the heart beats and waits to see if it holds. The patient's states stats start to level out and the heart beats slow and steady. He let out a sigh of relief as it held before he started to close.

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By the midnight, all the ER patients had finally been tended to. Padme had performed four surgeries and fortunately only one had died. Anakin had three but he did not know when or if two of them would wake up. When he had finished his last surgery, he slowly made his way to the attendings lounge and changed into street chothes before falling back into the couch. He was exhausted. He groaned as he shifted on the couch he had been sleeping on for weeks. It was starting to get uncomfortable sleeping there every night. Leaning back he let his eyes close.

The sound of the door opening jolted him awake. Turning to it he rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand.

"Sorry." It was Padme, "I didn't know you were sleeping."

Anakin shook his head to wake up more, "Its alright. My back would be killing me if I slept like too long."

Padme walked over to her cubby taking off her jacket she started to grab her street clothes but looked back at him. She really hasn't talked to him all day. When she saw him this morning she could not read him. She had no idea if he was mad at her for her rejection. She wanted to explain herself, she should explain herself; he deserved that much. "Ani-"

He raised a hand to stop her, "Don't. Just…" Anakin let out a sigh as he shifted to lean on his knees, "You don't need to explain anything." He said, scratching the back of his neck, "Just… do me a favor and don't lead me on like that." His eyes met hers and she could see how frustrated he was, "I'm willing to wait until your ready. I just… I can't handle being played with like that."

Padme nodded her head slowly, wringing her hands in front of her, "I-I'm sorry, about that." She said, "I didn't want to do that to you… Its just…" Padme paused as she tried to find words, "The scars." She said simply. She didn't know what else she could say- it bothered her. He wouldn't have gone if they had stayed together.

He raises a brow at her, "We're surgeons, we've seen worse scars."

Padme nods, "I know that, its just…"Anakin stands from the couch suddenly, reaching behind his neck he pulls his shirt over his head. Padme's eyes widen, "What are you doing?" She is so confused right now.

He comes to stand in front of her, "Just look," He says. Padme slowly lowers her eyes to look at his chest. Her apartment had been dark when she had first seen him so looking at the scars in the light she is able to see everything. She counts a total of twenty scars that resemble bullet wounds and seven scars from knives. Three of the bullets and two of the knife scars are still red, which tells her they are more recent. Anakin hunches over so he can catch her eye, "I know they look bad." He says, "But they're just scars. It's the past- an ugly past, but still the past. And what I did to get them is long over. In a few more years, you won't even be able to see them," He flashed her a smirk, "Lets stop playing the blame game here. Its just going to make everything more complicated than it needs to be. Agreed?" He holds out his hand for her to shake.

Padme's eyes flash between the scars and the offered hand, "You never would have offered a truce before." She points out.

Anakin gives a shrug, "Life's too short to waste arguing about the past." He says, "The past is finite. It's fixed. But the future, it is endless. It's always in motion, always changing… I'd rather look towards that than back on something I can't change."

Padme stares wide eyed at him. Never in her wildest dreams did she think he would ever say something so… moving. Perhaps he really has changed. Staring back at his hand she takes it and shakes, "Agreed." He smiles at her and she smiles back.