"So, mister, what do you do for a living?"

Is this chick lying about her age? Who calls people a year older mister? I seriously don't want to end up in jail for whatever charge might come with getting a minor drunk. Would it even be my fault? I mean, if she has a fake id and all, then it's not on me to enforce that shit.

"I, uh, am still working for work, I guess. By the way, just call me Naota, yeah? Mister is kinda...weird."

"Sure!" She replied cheerily. Everything this girl does can be described as cheerily, really.

"So, Naota. Are you in college?" Guess we're playing 21 questions.

"Yeah. Just started."

"Where do you go to?"

"Aoshima Robotics."

"Oooh, sounds prestigious!" You'd have heard of it if it was prestigious.

"Yeah, it's not too bad. So uh, what do you do?"

"Oh, I'm just helping my mum out with the apartments for a while! Dunno if I'll go to college, I'm not very smart, hee!"

Coulda fooled me.

"Well, that sounds...nice."

I tuned her out after that, throwing her a yeah or huh here and there between the lull in what was basically her talking to herself.

Finally arriving at the Toad and Stool, we walked in and found a table tucked away in the corner, as far from the noise as possible. The waitress came by rather quickly, thankfully, and I ordered myself a whiskey straight whilst Haruko ordered herself a virgin mary. Yes, virgin. The waitress gave me an odd look – probably thinks that's my little sister in the booth with me. Guess you don't need to be of drinking age to dine at this place, or they just don't care, since she never asked for a card from either of us.

I was sorta looking forward to the conformation that she was in fact 18 according to legal documents, but I suppose it doesn't matter since either way, I'm getting shit-faced.

An hour into the night, and this girl's sitting in my lap drinking from my drink, laughing and flirting like a pro. I'd be getting increasingly cautious of this situation if I hadn't already had four glasses of whiskey, two shots of tequila, and what I think was called a 'sex on the beach'. God it felt good letting loose, though – I had a feeling I was gonna sleep good tonight, nightmare free. 'Prolly pass out before I get to the bed, the rate I'm goin'.

It's been another hour, or at least I think it has – time's not working like it should right now. Haruko was getting increasingly frisky, totally opposite of the seemingly innocent girl from before. I had the nagging thought that something was up, that this is some sort of trap, but the multitude of drinks stifled nearly any coherent thought. Luckily for me, I wasn't one to relinquish total control.

"Oi, damn gurl, you's lookin' fine n'all but uh...ah fuck it, wan' go somewhere a'lil...quieter?"

"Ooh you bad boy...hee hee. Your place?"

"Eheh...'kay."

So much for control. Whatever, I'm sloshed, I haven't gotten laid in like a year – since Eri, actually...ugh, that's a can of worms. Let's redirect bad thoughts to good ones, like the firm, cute seductress attached to my waist.

After somehow making it back to my apartment room, stumbling the whole way, the girl, Haruko – christ, her name's Haruko. What the fuck is up with that coincidence? Is it a coincidence? Who cares, I'm horny, let's think with a different brain for now.

"Awright baby lez get down to it." I slurred unattractively, fumbling with my belt buckle and shirt. As I was doing my best sexy drunk undressing dance, I couldn't help but tune in to a poorly muffled laugh coming from the girl in front of me.

Is she laughing at me? Shit.

"Alright Naota, I probably dragged this on a bit too long...but it was too funny to see this side of you. You haven't grown up even a bit since I left, have you?"

The fuck did this chick say to me? Who does she think she is?

"The fuck you say t'me? Who'd ya think y'are?"

"Seriously? You still haven't figured it out?" Damn, that look she's giving me – full of pity and mirth, so familiar it made my head hurt. I drank a lot. This chick's being mean. I'm gonna pass out.

"Screw this, go make fun of some other loser."

I tripped on the pants around my ankles, fell onto the carpet of my living room, and passed out.