Hello! I have been writing this story like crazy! I have outlines for the next couple chapters and have started drafting chapter 10 so I am hoping to get those finished soon.

As always, Enjoy!

-DFD

Chapter 9

Opening the door to the apartment, she let Anakin enter and watched as he took off his jacket and hung it on the coat rack. He's been here enough times that it's almost routine. He moved over to the couch where he deposited his duffle bag, Padme moved from where she stood and moved to pick up the bag. Flashing him a smile over her shoulder she took the bag into her bedroom and placed it on the left side of the bed.

Anakin leaned on the doorframe with a furrow in his brow, "What are you-"

"You don't think I'm going to let you sleep on the couch, do you?"

To say he was surprised is an understatement. He can't tell if she is doing this because she really wants him in her bed, or if she just feels sorry for him, "Are you sure?" He asks, "Because I don't mind. I don't want you to do this unless-"

"Ani," She interrupts, coming to stand directly in front of him she takes his hands in hers, "It's alright. I don't mind." She says, "It's not like we haven't before," Padme drops her gaze a moment before she looks up into his eyes, "We're just sleeping." She says, clarifying the grounds of the arrangement vocally, "It really isn't a big deal." He doesn't mind. He already knew that those would be the terms even before she let him stay here. He nods his head and she smiles at him, "You pick what to watch tonight," She says. And he takes her and they set up Netflix before settling on the couch to watch a few episodes before bed.

Anakin can't focus on the show for the life of him. He can't stop thinking about his mother. He hates seeing her the way she is and he hates what she says. He knows it's not really her talking. He knows it's the tumor making her act the way she does. But that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Some days, when it gets really bad, like today, he wishes the tumor would just kill her already. If she died, it would mean she wouldn't suffer anymore, he wouldn't have to listen to her yell at him anymore, and he wouldn't have to explain to Owen and Cliegg why nothing can be done. But every time he thought like this, he hated himself for it. How could he possibly think her death could be a good thing? Shaking his head he tries to focus on the show just for a little bit.

They watch about four episodes before they decide to call it a night. Padme changed into a pair of sweat pants and a loose fitting tee shirt that Anakin recognized. "Isn't that the shirt I got you when we went to the National Cup?"

Padme smiled, "2012, Naboo Royals beat Cato Neimoidia Viceroys 2-0."

Anakin reached behind his back and pulled his shirt off. He remembered that game. It was on the short weekend they called a honeymoon. He got them tickets to see the championship football game because it was Padme's team. "I remember that we argued over whether to call it 'soccer' or 'football'." He said with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes as they climbed into bed, "Not much of an argument when 90% of the world calls it 'football'."

He can't help the light laugh that comes out. The memory of the game is one of the many good things that happened to them when they were together before. Thinking about it now gives his mind a momentary break from his mother. He comes to rest on his side facing her, his elbow supporting his head. They stare at each other for several moments, both of them realizing this is the first time he is staying the night.

Padme had actually hoped that the first time he stayed over it would be when she was ready to start a physical relationship with him again. She wanted to- she has never denied the physical attraction between them since she started dating him- but she was still not ready to take that step and the timing right now is just horrible for Anakin. She knows that the new sleeping arrangements will test both of their willpower, but she trusts Anakin won't push her and that he will make sure she is absolutely ready before anything happens. He has said more times than she can recall that he really wants them to last, and she wants that too. She flashes him a smile, "I love you."

He leans towards her and kisses her lips softly, "I love you too," He says when they pull apart, "Goodnight."

"Night." She returns, turning so her back is to him and lying down.

[][][][]

The shrill buzz of her alarm began it's incessant beeping at 5:30 like it always does. Padme buried her head in her pillow and shifted back into the warmth that was pressed against her. A furrow appeared in her brow as she realized there was a weight on her waist. Bringing her hand down, she found a large hand connected to a strong forearm that was wrapped securely around her waist. Turning to see what it was, she realized the arm was Anakin's. It takes her a moment to realize this isn't a dream and for her to remember why he is here, but being this close to him brings a smile to her face.

She watches as he sleeps through the alarm and can't help but wonder how he ever managed to make it anywhere on time. He looks so peaceful despite the emotional baggage he carries. His nose scrunches and his brow furrows as he lets out a low groan before his eyes open. "Are you going to turn that off?"

"Sorry," She says, reaching over to hit the snooze button before turning back to him. She doesn't want to get up now. And he seems to agree with her because he doesn't move his arm from around her. "Did you sleep well?"

He shakes his head, "I haven't slept well in years."

Padme furrows her brow, "Why not?"

He shrugs, "Bad dreams… memories, actually." The way she looks at him tells him she is waiting for more. He lets out a light sigh, "Memories from before I came back."

"You mean… when you were over there." He nods and lets his eyes drift away from her. Padme shifts in his arms slightly and her eyes fall on the faint scars she can see on his torso. He doesn't talk about it. And she doesn't push him to talk about it. Sometimes she forgets that he ever went on two tours of duty before he came back, mainly because she has only seen the scars twice. Her eyes rise up and she finds he is watching her closely.

His thumb draws circles on her hips and he sighs, "When I first got there, the convoy that was taking me to base hit an IED." He shakes his head, "This was just after I finished training too, so it was pretty scary… the three other guys in the car with me, one was dead and the other two were in pretty bad shape. One of them snapped their neck so I had to be pretty fast if I wanted to relieve pressure on their spine and prevent paralysis. The other guy had a hole in his stomach the size of a baseball and was bleeding badly."

Padme watched him take a deep breath and she placed her hand on his arm, "You don't have to say any more."

He shakes his head, "I…I want to." He says, "Ben's the only other person that knows what happened over there and I want to tell you." Padme gives his arm an encouraging squeeze and let him continue, "I didn't have much with me at the time. I had a small medical bag with a bunch of gauges, gloves, suture kit, surgical tools… but no anesthesia. I had to get these guys out of the truck, find a defendable position, and patch these guys up with what I had. Stabilizing the one with the broken neck was easier. He screamed once when I put a brace on it, but that was it. The other one…" Padme watches him take a shaky breath and feels his fingers grip her hip tighter, "He screamed the entire time. I had to sit on him and hold him down with my weight while I pulled out what I could. It got so bad at times he begged me to let him die… there were times I wanted to just so he wouldn't scream. But I did it. I did it all by myself and I sat with them for hours until they found us and got us to base." He lets out a small chuckle; "I didn't even know I had a piece of shrapnel in my arm until I got there."

Padme eyes the long scar along his shoulder and brings her fingers to trace it. She thinks about how each of his scars has a story like that. And she can't imagine what it was like to live through it all. She isn't even certain how he lived through it. Anakin has always been such a sweet and loving person and he has been through hell. Someone like him doesn't deserve that. "I'm sorry," She whispers. She isn't sure what else she can say.

"What are you sorry for?" He brings his hand to cup her jaw and force her to look at him.

"I don't know." She says, "None of that should have happened to you." She says.

He gives a shrug, "And yet it did." He says as if the story he just told her wasn't as traumatizing as it sounded, "We can't change it. And I honestly don't want to."

"How can you say that?"

Anakin smiles at her and pulls her mouth to his, pressing their mouths together passionately. He pulls back just enough so their foreheads are still touching, "It made me the man I am now." He flashes her a smile, "It made me the man I want to be for you."

Padme drags her hand up to his face and strokes his cheek, closing her eyes and savoring the contact between them. She opens her mouth to speak but the shrill sound of her alarm blares again. With a loud groan she looks over and sees that its already 6:00. They both only have an hour before they have to be at work.

"Time to get up, I guess," He says, a small smirk on his face.

She rolls her eyes and pulls the pillow out from under her head and swats him with it before climbing out of bed and heading to the bathroom to get ready.

[][][][]

The two of them stand outside the room unmoving. Padme leans forward slightly so she can see his face. It's blank and hard to read, but she knows he is debating whether he should go in or not. She glances at her watch subtly, she has to check on other patients as well as Shmi, but she also doesn't want Anakin to put off seeing his mom either.

"Ani," She starts, "Just go in and say 'hi,' you don't have to stay long, just show that you care."

He takes a deep breath and nods his head before he goes in, Padme close behind. He doesn't enter the room very far, standing in the space between the bed and the door. Shmi is awake and looks to be in much better spirits today. Mother and son exchange glances but neither say anything for a long time. Padme waits on her neuro exam to see how this moment plays out.

Shmi is the first to speak, "It was the tumor talking again, wasn't it?"

Anakin nods his head, "I know you don't mean any of it."

His mother shook her head, "No, no, no," She says, "just because you know I don't really think that, doesn't mean that hearing it hurts you any less." She says, "I'm sorry, Ani. I wish you didn't have to see all of this."

He gives a shrug, "I see stuff like this everyday," He says, "I work here, I see everything from a broken leg to neurological episodes."

Shmi smiles and holds out her arms to him and he is quick to take long strides to reach her. Sitting on the edge of her bed he falls into his mother's embrace, "I love you to the stars and back," She says, kissing the top of his head.

The two of them spend a long time talking. Padme finishes her exam quickly so she can give them time to talk. She leaves them alone for a while so she can check on her other patients. By the time she returns, Anakin has a bright smile on his face as he talks to his mother enthusiastically. Padme waits outside the room when she hears he is talking about her. She can't help but want to know what he is saying, so she moves herself off to the side so he can't see her.

"You think I'm crazy." He says, rubbing the back of his neck.

"No, never!" Shmi lets out a small chuckle, "Maybe just a little," She admits.

He laughs and shakes his head, "Well, maybe I am crazy. I'm crazy without her in my life."

Shmi points a finger at him, "Now you're just being cheesy."

He shrugs, "Cheesy, but no less true." Anakin looks down at the sheet he is sitting on and plays with a lose string, "I'm miserable without her." He says.

Shmi raised a brow at him, "It didn't work the first time." She reminds him, "You married her, and while I thought you rushed things, I didn't care because you were happy… but then she divorced you after a year."

"You know why she did that." Anakin argued, "And you're right, we did rush things. But we're not doing that this time. We're dating… taking it slow and working things out."

His mother shakes her head, "Why are you so drawn to her?" She asks, placing her hand on his, "I'm not judging, I just want to know what makes her so special."

He smiles, "I love her." He says, "She's kind, passionate, ambitious, strong willed, charitable," He chuckles a little and meets his mother's eyes, "She can't cook if her life depended on it, she is a workaholic, she sings badly in the car… She's perfect… I can't imagine my life without her." He lets out a sigh, "You told me once that everyone has one great love. You found yours with Cligg. And I know Padme is mine. She is my one great love, and I'm not going to screw this up again."

Shmi looks at her son carefully, "You're certain?"

"Yes." He responds immediately.

She nods her head and grips Anakin's hand in hers tightly, "Then whether I have a fit again or not, and whether I'm here or not… keep your foot in that door until she slams it on you."

It isn't long until Anakin hugs his mother goodbye and promises to come see her before he leaves. Padme moves quickly to hide by the nurse's station until he is gone before she tries to make her way down the hall, "You can come in now," Shmi calls out into the hall. Padme's eyes widen and her shoulders hunch. Busted. Slowly, she backtracks to enter the room, her hands stuffed in the pockets of her jacket, "you heard what Ani said about you." She stated, "You know how much he cares about you. You know how far he wants to take things." Shmi shifted to lean towards her, "Don't break his heart again."

Padme shook her head vigorously, "I-I wasn't planning to." She said, "I… I want it to workout too."

Shmi sat back in her bed and nodded her head, "Good. Then I need you to do something for me."