Hello! I am so excited to be at this point in the story. Anakin is gone and Padme is trying to figure things out. This is a very, very rough spot for both of them and we'll just have to wait and see how/if things get resolved at all.

Enjoy!

-DFD

Chapter 12

Padme sighed as she walked into her patient's room. He smiled at her while she fixed him with a stern look, "Mr. Kim," She greeted.

"Doctor," He returned, almost amused by the situation he found himself in.

She shook her head, "We have got to stop meeting like this." She said with a laugh.

He smiled, "I agree but you might want to pull the nails sticking out of my head first."

Padme walked over to the bed and began examining the back of his head, "How exactly did this happen?"

Kim gave a shrug, "It was an accident," He said, "I was doing some work on my roof and I fell back and landed on my nail gun." He winced when she pressed down around the tender area where the nails were.

"Sorry," She said, "I need to take you up to some x-rays to make sure they aren't hitting anything important and then we'll figure out how to get them out."

He let out a small laugh, "Why not just take my hammer and lift 'em out?"

Padme smiled and shook her head, "If it were that easy, I'd be out of a job." She picked up her chart and had her intern get him ready to get scanned; "I'll come back and check on you later." Leaving the room she started to walk down to the main nurse's station where Dorme was working today. Returning her tablet she let out a small groan and rubbed her eyes.

"Patient troubles?" Dorme asked, looking up from her monitor. Padme shook her head, "Still worried then," She concluded.

"Of course I'm worried," Padme said. It has been weeks since Anakin left. When she came into work the day after Shmi died, Ben had informed her that he resigned and when he called Owen about it, he had been told that what few things Anakin actually had in their house was gone.

Dorme reached across the counter and gripped her hand, "He's fine," She tried to assure. "He just needs time. He'll come back."

Padme shook her head, "If he was coming back I don't think he would have taken everything and left his phone." She pulled her hand free and rested her head in her hands, "He wasn't even at the funeral." She said.

"Funerals suck," Dorme said with a shake of her head, "You're basically saying 'goodbye' to someone who's already gone. Some people don't see the point. And some find the thing too painful to attend."

Padme picked up her head, "Yeah." She agreed, "I just wish I had a way to call him." With no phone to call, Padme had tried to think of everyone Anakin might contact so he at least knows she is looking for him. The thought of reporting him missing has crossed her mind, but Ben seems to agree with Dorme that he will come back when he is ready and not before. Padme glanced down at her watch. She has to go and see a patient before surgery. With a sigh she picks up a tablet and makes her way to the patient's room.

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By the time she got home, Padme was exhausted. It has been a long time since she was this tired but sleep has not been easy to come by. Pulling out her phone again she looks through her recent calls and finds the numbers she has been calling almost religiously. Pressing the dial button she listens as the phone rings. The phone picks up by the third ring and the voice of a young man comes through, "Hi Padme, he's not here and I still haven't heard anything."

She lets out a small sigh, "Thanks, Kitster." She says, "Sorry for calling again." He tells her it's all right before they hang up. Kitster had always been a close friend of Anakin's since he was a child. It had taken her a while to find his phone number but once she did she had called and checked once every week before it quickly became a daily thing for her to do. Fortunately he is a good sport about it; otherwise she is sure he would tell her to leave him alone.

Picking up the phone again she tries another number. When Qui-Gon answered she got the same answer Kitster gave her. Padme resisted the urge to hurl her phone across the room. As far as she knows he could be dead by now. She has seen tragic deaths like that of his mother leave family members leaning on alcohol, drugs, gambling; she has seen them fall into depression, eating disorders, attempt suicide… the last thing she wants is for any of that to happen to Anakin. But he has been gone too long for her to be sure he is all right.

After trying a few more numbers and a long chat with her sister about it, Padme decided to call it a night. Curled up alone in her bed she wished she could do more than just try to call his friends and hope he goes to them. If she had any idea where he might go, she would take work off for the entire week and go find him herself. But he hasn't been to Mos Espa, hasn't been anywhere near Theed, Ben even asked around army recruiters to see if he tried to enlist again… He doubted Anakin would go back, he was so sure of it; but she wasn't convinced. If he did it once, he could do it again. Padme dreaded the thought that he could go back. She dreaded the thought that he could come back years later with more scars. She dreaded the thought that he could be killed. Closing her eyes she tries to get at least a little sleep before work tomorrow.

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Padme walked through the door of the bar and took a seat at the counter next to Ben. He slid a glass of wine her way, which she thanked him for. He had invited her for a drink to help her loosen up a little. She has been moving from one stressful situation to the next every day for a month now and she needed to relax if only for a moment. Padme took a large swallow of the wine and let out a pleased sigh as she put the glass back down, "I've been looking forward to this," She said, "I had one of those patients that comes in with a list of questions she found on WebMD." Padme groaned, "If I ever meet the guy who made that site, I am going to punch him on behalf of the entire medical community." She took another smaller sip of her wine, "a headache does not mean you have a brain tumor."

Ben chuckled lightly as he drank his beer, "I know what you mean," He agreed, "I had this one patient a couple weeks ago he had a small heart murmur and he thought it meant he needed a heart transplant." Ben held up a hand, "It was a total miscommunication. Next think I know, he's called his entire family and they're all sitting in his room thinking he is going to die in the next 48 hours if he doesn't get a new heart." The two of them laughed uncontrollably at the story. Even on their darkest days, there are always moments like this that help make the dark times bearable.

Padme takes another sip of her wine, "I really need to get out more," She says, "I need to do stuff outside of work. I need a hobby that goes farther than just sitting in my sweatpants eating a bag of cheese puffs while reading a medical journal."

He shakes his head, "Honestly I can't imagine you of all people eating cheese puffs." He says, "I can't imagine you in sweat pants even."

She smiles, "Good," She said, "That means all the effort I put into it has paid off," She says, "It just so happens that is exactly what I have planned when I go home after this." Padme finishes her glass of wine and waves her hand to order another. Her finger skimmed along the rim of her glass, "You know," She started, "Before he came back… this is pretty much all I did when I wasn't working," She said, "I would work, grab a drink, go home and just…" Her voice trails off. Her life had been such a routine before Anakin and once he came into the picture, she did things she didn't think she had time for. They would go for a morning jog before work, go out to movies and dinner, walk around the city and do the simple things everyone else did. And when that became her new way of life, she never thought she would go back to her simple routine of drinks and medical journals. Padme lets out a sigh and shakes her head, "Have you even heard anything?"

Ben takes a long swallow of his drink and shakes his head, "Nothing. And you need to stop worrying right now," He said, "Just for tonight. Don't make your calls, don't lie awake thinking about all the horrible things that could happen to him but you know won't-"

"How do you know that?" Padme asked, "How do you know he isn't-"

"Because he isn't," Ben interrupted, "He's going through a very difficult time, but he won't fall as hard as you think he will."

Padme shook her head, "I can't help but worry," She says, "I can't help but worry that maybe he won't come back. And it's all my fault if he doesn't."

He places a reassuring hand on her shoulder and gives it a light squeeze, "He will come back." He says, "I'm sure of it."

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"I love interns," Dorme said with a sigh as she sat down across from Padme in the cafeteria, "They act like they are such big shots because they are training to be surgeons, yet they always have to ask me what they're suppose to do."

Padme smiled as she took a sip of her latte. It wasn't her usual order. She got this one from the coffee cart near the entrance of the hospital rather than the Starbucks Anakin always got her latte at. It was weird how fast she had gotten used to waiting for him to bring her morning drink and because of it she often goes through the day thinking she is forgetting something. "I sometimes can't stand interns," she said putting the latte down on the table and pushing it away. It was just making her upset thinking about him; "Most of them only start to get useful by the eighth month. The rest of the time I worry they're going to do something stupid to my patients."

Dorme laughed, "Didn't you used to be one of them?" She asked, "Don't you have any sympathy for them?"

She shook her head, "No." She said with a straight face, "My attendings didn't take it easy on me, why should I give them a free pass? I had one attending that had me do rectal exams for a month."

Dorme scrunched her nose, "That sounds horrible. But what did you do to deserve that?"

Padme shrugged, "To this day I have no idea. But I got out of it by working so hard to impress him he had to let me in on a surgery." She let out a sigh, "I miss the old interns." She said with a groan.

"They're still here," Dorme reminded her.

"Yes, but now they're residents and I'm expected to leave my patients with interns fresh out of med school." Padme reaches for her latte and raises it to take a drink but pauses when it's half way to her mouth before putting it back down again trying to be discrete about it.

Dome notices though and shakes her head at her, "Nope, don't do this again," She said, "Don't fall down that dark and twisty hole that revolves around Anakin Skyrunaway." Reaching across the table she grabs the latte and pulls it away from her, "It's just a latte." She said, taking a sip of it and cringing at the taste, "A bad latte, but the latte has nothing to do with him."

Padme groaned and let her head fall forward a bit before raising it to look at her friend, "I'm pathetic," She said, "I can't do anything without thinking about him and how he's just… gone."

Dorme nodded, "Yes, because the world revolves around him." She clapped her hands in front of her, "Get a grip, girl. You are a kick ass surgeon and you don't need a man to be awesome." She said. In the first two weeks since Anakin left she had been confident he would be back soon. But as weeks turned into a month, she had switched roles from helping her keep her resolve to pushing her to be independent again. She still hopped Anakin would come back, but she had to do something to help Padme see he isn't the most important thing in her life.

Padme sighed, "I can't even watch Netflix." She said, "All the shows I want to watch are shows we watch together."

Dorme groaned, "You really need a vacation." She said.

Padme was about to answer when her pager went off. Glancing at it she jumped to her feet and started to run straight to the OR.

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Padme placed her hand gently on Mrs. Kim's arm, "I'm so sorry for your loss." She said one last time before backing away a few steps before turning and walking quickly to the attendings lounge. Leaning her back against the wall she took several deep breaths, putting her hands to her forehead and pulling them back over her head, pulling her scrub cap off as she slid to the floor. With her eyes closed she cried quietly. Mr. Kim's operation to remove the nail went well. But a post-op complication led to a seizure which had him taken back into the OR where she had tried to fix the problem. Unfortunately the bleeding into the brain was found too late and the new intern did not find her in time to show her the scans so she could get him into the OR sooner. Mr. Kim died. A lot of her patients have been dying lately. She is on a bad streak right now. Padme has had bad streaks before but they have never lasted longer than a couple days. She is coming close to a month of this and it is taking its toll on her. Dorme is right, she does need a break.