Broud runs out into the snow, rolls in it, trying to get the stain, the curse that he can feel. His skin itches, and his arm, his hand that in his dream was covered in blood, throbs as if it isn't a part of him.
And all the while, he's wondering if it was a dream, or was it something else? Did the spirit of Ayla attack him, or maybe her clan totem?
He feels dirty, but no how much he rolls in the snow, that feeling doesn't go away.
'The woman's curse,' he motions to himself, his hands flying around him, as he sits up, as he starts to rip at his hair and tug at his wrap. 'That woman has sent the woman's curse to me. She's cursed me with it.' He shudders.
What if it turns him into a woman?
What if he starts to act like a woman?
What if for the rest of his life he has to bow and scrape to the men who are his equals but will treat him as rubbish?
No, worse than rubbish.
As a woman.
He grabs a handful of snow and rubs it on his arm.
Tries to get the stain that he can't see from him.
But it's no use.
It can't be removed.
It will be on his for the rest of his days.
And everyone he sees will know.
Unless.
He stands up.
Looks in the direction of the clan's cave.
'Unless I kill her,' he signs.
He twists his face into a scowl, a grimace, but it is one of satisfaction, as he thinks about hwat he will do to her.
'I will rip her to shreds,' he motions. 'Rip her to shreds and scatter her body parts outside for the hyena's to eat.
He snorts.
'No, I'll pee on her dead body. Right in her strange hair.'
He shakes his head as an idea comes to him.
'I'll pee on her when she's still alive, in her ahir, over her face, in her eyes, in her mouth. Over her ugly body. I will show her that she can't treat me like she has. I'll punish her for sending her curse to me.'
He starts to walk.
Toward the clan cave.
Fear and anger warring within him.
And all the while, he can just picture her face. 'Ayla,' he spits into the snow. 'She is going to be sorry for what she had done.'
He kicks out at a tree, snubs his toe.
'Ayla,' he grunts. 'Ayla.'
And all the while, his anger grows for the woman who has been the bane of his life. The woman who should never have been a part of the clan. The woman who has spoilt everything.
'If she hadn't come, then I wouldn't be cursed,' he motions. 'And I would be the leader, and respected as such. But she ruined everything. If she had never been, then I would be with Oga and her sons right now, maybe planning an early spring hunt or teaching her sons to hunt.'
He stops and stares at the sky.
'She is like the fire that falls from the sky,' he decides. 'That burns everything that is good in its path. Like the light that flashes in the sky and cooks the person it hits. She is bad, I've always known she is bad, but now, I know that I cannot let this evil exist any longer. It has to go. I asked Goov to curse her with death, but that wasn't enough, cursing her is not good enough. She needs to die.
Now.
He sees the familiar trees that line the practise area that he would this summer have been using to teach Oga's sons to hunt.
To use the spear.
'I am near,' he motions to himself, breathing deeply, the fear being finally replaced with just anger. 'How dare she?' he signs. 'How dare she? How dare she?' How dare she?'
Over and over again, his arms flail as he motions to himself.
He imagines strangling her. Clutches his fists, imagining his hands around her throat.
'You are going to be sorry,' he signs, just as he breaks out of the line of trees and can see the dark shadow in the cliff of the clan cave.
'I will kill her, and then I will be released from this curse, but more than that, so will the rest of my people. They'll realise that she is evil when she had no control over them any longer. They'll realise and they'll beg me to return.'
'To lead them.'
He starts to walk up the path that leads to the clan cave.
'They are going to be so surprised,' he thinks.
And thinks about how their mouths will open, and their chins drop when they see him.
See him in the mouth of the cave.
'They'll run to me,' he thinks with satisfaction. 'And Oga will bring her sons, and she'll sit at my feet, and wait for me to respond to her.'
'But I won't respond, not straight away. I'll ignore her, and make her little heart so sad, she won't know what is happening, but she'll understand when she is released by the curse.'
'Once I have killed Ayla.'
He edges around a rock that had fallen in the earthquake, and steps into the mouth of the cave.
And stares at the empty cave with shock.
Where he expected people, there is no one.
He steps forward, noting that the hearths are still filled with rubble, and many of the broken belongings of his clan lay strewn on the floor.
'Why haven't they tidies up?' he motions. 'Why have they left it like this?'
He walks toward his hearth, stares at the sleeping area that he shared with Oga.
The furs are gone, as are many of the baskets and other things.
In fact, he looks around.
Goes toward Brun's hearth.
Empty too. Only rubble and broken things.
'What?' he motions to himself. 'Where is everyone?'
He walks deeper into the cave. Sees more rubble, more broken belongsings.
But everything else. Everything whole and still usable is gone.
'Where is everyone?'
He heads toward the small cave at the back.
With just one thought in his head.
'If my people are nearby, then they'll have left Creb in here. They'll have prepared his body for burial, but he'll still be in here.
Except he's gone.
And the rocks that had covered the body of the medicine woman, Iza, have been pulled up.
And there is a hole.
And no body.
He sits down and stares at the hole.
'I don't understand,' he signs to himself. 'I don't understand what is happening. What has happened.'
But then he does.
'They've gone,' he motions. 'They've gone, and left me here. They've left this cave, and left me, and taken that cursed woman with them.'
He stands up, and rushes outside, down the slope, and into the area where the leadership changeover had been held.
He notes the scorched earth from the fire showing through the snow.
But no other sign that anyone had been there.
'They've gone and left me,' he looks around, hoping, willing, almost begging the spirits and his totem to give him a sign. To show him the footprints that lead of in the direction they had gone.
Whether there are any footprints underneath the snow, he does not know, but what he does know is that for now, he can't follow them.
He can't track them, and catch up to them.
'I am alone,' he signs to himself. 'They have left me, gone to find a new cave, and I have been left behind.'
He imagines his mate's face, and the faces of her sons, and knows that the spirits will never let him see them again.