Hi! So first off I am sorry for how long this chapter took for me to get out. I am on out visiting family so that played some role in how long it took for me to write this...but still. My apologies!

I ended up dividing this chapter into two sections because it was just too long otherwise, so this is part one (both this and the next chapter will take place during the Merlin episode of Sweet Dreams). It follows that episode fairly closely though I do not write each scene so if you have not watched Merlin and are a bit confused as too events taking place I recommend googling it-wiki for this episode should help.

Anyway, read and review! hope you enjoy ;)

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahah

Chapter 11: Lavendar's Blue

-o-

"I hate being replaced. I hate when someone likes you, then they meet someone new, and all of a sudden, you mean nothing at all."—unknown

-o-

He knew that it had been the right thing to do, but still….he couldn't help but wonder what if.

Arthur had grown to hate what ifs….they had after all played a large part in his life—whether they were small little happenstances or large life altering alterations, they were still there. What if he had told his father what he really felt about chasing down and arresting a group of defenseless woman—just because one of Uther's advisors claimed they were witches? (The rumor that had run rampant for days before was that the same advisor had tried to get a bit frisky with one of the girls and she had turned him down. Arthur wanted to tell himself that it was just rumor, that there was no truth in it….but…). What if his mother had chosen not to go through with his risky birth? What if he had been born to a noble family instead of a royal one? What if….

Sighing in irritation at his leaden thoughts Arthur pushed himself away from the table moving to where Merlin had left out his newly pressed doublet. He felt his frown grow at the sight of the finery. It wasn't the doublet itself that he resented, no, it was what it represented. Or rather what he was expected to wear it for.

Was this truly his life now? An endless stream of commitments and responsibilities—each more tedious and trying then the last? He found himself tossing the garment aside and moving towards the window facing the courtyard, his eyes automatically drawn towards a slim, graceful figure. A small voice in the back of his head reminded him that it didn't have to be this way.

That it was his own fault for the dreary outlook on his future. He had after all, been perfectly happy and content last night…

(Flashback-the evening before)

Arthur honestly didn't know what was wrong with him…..ok; that was a lie. He did know what was wrong with him and it went by the name of Henry Emrys. If the thrill and anticipation of what they were doing was not so pronounced, Arthur thought that maybe he might have been able to retrain a clearer head around the fey looking boy.

As it was, that was not the case. He should know considering he was waiting like some kind of miscreant, hiding behind the farthest stable, in the dark, for Henry to arrive. Oh how the might have fallen…..to think that he, Arthur Pendragon, heir apparent to the Camelot throne, was waiting like a naughty stable boy for a servant…he was trying really hard not to think about what Uther would say if he knew….

Mind you there probably wouldn't be a whole lot of talking if that were the case-lots of burning or guillotining was more like it.

He shook his head to get rid of such morbid thoughts as they made his stomach squirm (and not in the good way) and he could not escape thinking of the consequences should they be caught. Worse was the fact that the consequences would not be his to bear but Henry's….It made the doubting voice in his head ooze guilt at him. The thing was; that when he was with Henry, those doubts were completely gone.

He had honestly never felt something so right as being with the other boy—even if it went against everything he had ever been taught; by his father, by the church, by society… It was only after they had parted that the doubt crept in and he started to second guess his choice to risk it all. But he couldn't quite bring himself to stop, Henry was addictive—in a way that Arthur knew he shouldn't be.

He had heard knights and travelers speak of temptresses before. He had always scoffed at such silly notions—that there could be someone so desirable that they could make men forget their common sense, could steal their reservations replacing them with pure unadulterated need instead—now he knew better. Because despite the fact that Henry was decidedly not female (and that was one of the biggest hang-ups Arthur was having with this entire situation) Arthur wanted him. Oh, how he wanted him.

And he was pretty sure that it was not completely one sided either.

After the brief kiss Arthur had bestowed the apprentice, they had dipped and dodged, feinting around the fact for a good week or so before Arthur had finally had enough. And no matter how much he told himself that he should regret the fact after…..he just couldn't make himself. He just couldn't bring himself to tarnish that particularly spectacular evening in his mind. No matter how wrong he knew it was.

They had continued to meet up, as they had before—only this time instead of working on Henry's fighting skills they worked on a whole different set of skills. Ones that Arthur personally found much more enjoyable. Still, they had been careful and surprisingly cautious despite the need burning in his veins. Outside of a few rather passionate snogs and a bit of over the clothes touching they hadn't gone much further.

Arthur knew that it was more his hesitance then anything that had stopped them from doing so. In his head he was able to convince himself that because they hadn't done anything….anything really carnal, that it was still okay; that he hadn't gone and desecrated the laws of the church. Even if he knew that he was lying to himself-he could pretend.

'Plus' he reminded himself,' it could be worse. He could have been taking up with a witch or sorcerer….now that was something he was sure would be unforgivable'.

The soft sound of footsteps approaching interrupted Arthur's increasingly maudlin thoughts, bringing a cocky grin to his face instead. Like he said—the doubting only ever happened when he was not with Henry….while they were together he couldn't be more sure that this was right.

When the slowly fading illumination from the torch fell on the apprentice's face, Arthur didn't hesitate to move towards him. Not bothering with verbal greeting he backed the other into the wall, pressing his body against Henry's.

Like a well honed instinct their mouths met, soft at first becoming increasingly forceful as the seconds passed. And this was why he kept coming back—regardless of the danger.

The minty taste of Henry's tongue burnt, making Arthur want to inhale, consume the other if only to chase the sharp relief it brought. The few kisses he had shared with his other conquests (he tended to avoid kissing when possible—it seemed too intimate to be shared with someone who he was not planning on spending more than one or two nights with) had never been like this.

They had been soft, sweet—overly sweet; the floral scent of perfumed baths and skin creams had always been too cloying, too suffocating. There was maybe one or two that he had kissed where he had claimed he had enjoyed it (later when talking with his knights)—but more because he knew he was supposed to enjoy it rather than honestly doing so. He had just never really understood the thrill behind such things…sure it was fine, pleasant even, but he had always found that a brisk, life threatening sword fight excited him more than a chance with some willing chambermaid. Regardless of her breast size.

He hadn't really thought much of it until now. Until that first, all in all, rather innocent kiss. Because then he had understood. He had felt more alive in those few seconds then he could remember feeling at any point in his life—fighting included.

He broke the kiss reluctantly when he felt Henry's grip on his hair tug a bit more insistently—likely trying to signal the need to actually breathe. Not that Arthur resented that fact, considering he was starting to feel a bit short of breath and light headed himself.

They stood there, foreheads leaning lightly against each other listening to their own ragged breathing as much as the others for a few minutes. Finally, Arthur straightened up a bit, "Hey"

He felt as much as saw Henry's eye roll at his lame greeting, but the other man was smiling all the same. He shot a quick glance at their surroundings before diving back in for another kiss. One that Arthur gladly gave.

(end flashback)

Oh yes, he had been more then content for those few hours. Happy even-despite the conflicting head and heart that he possessed. Of course his father, Uther the supreme, had to obliterate the small amount of joy Arthur had finally managed to find.

The sad part was that he managed to do so without even being aware of the true situation.

(Flashback—this morning)

"Father?" Arthur asked when Uther had finally broken off the conversation he had been having with one of his men—Sir Heenl—if memory served him correctly. (Heenl was one of the few men of Uther's that Arthur didn't know that well. He was rarely at court, generally spending more time paroling the neighboring borders ensuring that Cendred did not get any ideas. What little Arthur knew of the deceivingly mousy looking man was that he was very effective at his job: Brutal and violent but effective.

Uther's head shot around at the sound of his son's voice, "Ah Arthur….good, you are here. I have much to discuss with you" he stated before standing up from his thrown and moving towards one of the side-rooms. One of the many which were generally used for smaller political gatherings where the King wanted more privacy to discuss whatever he and his subordinates were conferring about. Arthur followed easily, both curious and worried over what his father could possibly want to talk to him about.

Uther waited just long enough for Arthur to have entered the antechamber and close the door securely behind him, before getting straight to the point.

"I want to know where you have been sneaking off to lately"

Arthur felt the words like a hit to his stomach—he swore his heart literally skipped a beat as he tried to come up with a plausible excuse in a manner of seconds. Really, he thought a bit desperately, he had been horribly stupid for not to having expected this. It wasn't like his father (who generally was quite aware of what Arthur was doing or had planned for the day) wouldn't eventually notice his increasing absences. Had he actually used his head, he might have thought up a reasonable excuse long before this—and had it waiting and ready so that when what was happening right now occurred he wouldn't have been caught with his pants down.

He mentally grimaced how closely that last metaphor was to the truth. He knew one thing; he definitely could not tell his father the truth.

As the silence stretched and continued to do so—to the point that Arthur was sure that it was going to snap from the tension placed on it, Uther sighed; a sigh full of disappointment, irritation and perhaps even a bit of resignation.

"I already know Arthur. I had hoped, however, that you would have been man enough to admit to it yourself" Uther stated shaking his head in an almost mocking way.

And if Arthur's heart had not already been beating furiously against his ribcage before, well it most certainly was doing so now.

"y-you know?" he managed to get out, coughing slightly before forcing his voice to steady. Hoping his father had missed the brief display of nerves. Not that he was all that optimistic….if his father had one talent, he was an absolute wiz at rooting out weakness in his opponents (and his opponents happened to be everyone outside of himself—even if it were his heir and only son).

Uther raised one of his bushy, soot colored eyebrows at Arthur, a look of distaste on his lined face, "Of course Arthur. What do you take me for? A fool?"

Arthur swallowed once more, feeling as though there was a swelling mass of something lodged in his throat, "Father…" he started out, his tone taking on a pleading quality that he detested. Desperate times and all…

"Who is she? I was a young man once myself Arthur, so I understand that you may have…..needs" he grimaced slightly before forging on, "and this is all well and fine my son. But I must ensure that you are taking precautions. Camelot cannot afford a bastard…..you do have a duty to the throne and you will be expected to carry out that duty by marrying a lady of good standing. One whom I have selected and thoroughly vetted"

Arthur's panicked thoughts came to a screeching halt—wait….she(?)-he had to stop the bark of laughter tinged with relief that wanted to escape from his slowly loosening throat. His father didn't know….everything was salvageable….Henry was still safe.

Uther must have seen something change in Arthur's expression because he paused his lecture and let the corners of his mouth turn up in an uncharacteristic half smile, "I can be reasonable Arthur. I will not hold something so natural against you….you can have your fun, as long as you remember that it is just that; a bit of fun. I would rather not have a mess to have to clean up when all is said in done. For that reason I hope this girl is not a lady of any standing, I do not need to worry about offending any of the lords. A peasant girl or scullery maid is fine Arthur. Easy to take care of should she decide to try and cause problems but I'd rather not have to deal with it regardless….is that understood?"

Arthur nodded, trying to ignore the clenching of his gut and the tinge of horror and disgust he felt over his father's words and their implications—it was how he dealt with many things related to his father- instead focusing on the small silver lining in the situation. His father suspected a dalliance of a sort but he was still far off the mark, when it came to the truth.

Not that that fact necessarily eased the guilt and worry that had been plaguing Arthur completely. He could not ignore what his father was saying….the reminder that Arthur would be expected to marry eventually—and not someone of his choice—weighed down heavily on him. He didn't want to think about it. Not yet….not when he had just found Henry….not when they had just barely started to explore what this…this pull…this strange chemistry between them was.

He knew that the smart thing to do would be to back away and let Henry go….let him be with someone who could be wholly his. Someone who he didn't have to break about a billion laws (of both the church and nature) to be with. But he was selfish.

He couldn't give him up…..at least not yet.

There was still time though, he reminded himself. Uther did not know about them and Arthur was not expected to take the throne for many years yet….he would not have to get married yet. He could continue on with Henry for a little while longer….surely….

So caught up in his internal arguing he almost missed his father's change of topics—except it wasn't a change of topics; not really.

"You have been preparing for the Peace talks next week I hope?"

It took a second or two for Arthur's brain to catch up with their conversation but when it did, he gave yet another nod, "of course" It wasn't exactly true…..he had been meaning to read up on the various Kings and nobles who would be visiting Camelot next week. Their intention of discussing and negotiating a non-aggression pact between their neighboring kingdoms….something that Uther had surprisingly managed to bring about. As much of a bastard as his father was often purported to be, Uther was incredibly good at negotiating and convincing people to do what he wanted. He could be very charming….when he wanted to be.

He silently vowed that he would begin to prepare immediately following this conversation. He knew the basics….

"Good. I have a good feeling about this meeting…" Uther stated before shooting a sly look at his son, "My dear friend, King Olaf and his lovely daughter Lady Vivian, will be attending this time…..his kingdom has done very well for itself in the past few years. Anyone who managed to align themselves with him or….his daughter would be very wise indeed…."

The suggestion was so blatant that Arthur felt as though he would have had to be blind, deaf and stupid to miss it. He felt a small amount of bile rise at the very thought of 'aligning' with Lady Viviane in anyway. He had heard the rumors.

Oh true, it was said that the Lady was exceedingly beautiful—but it was also said that her personality and intellect left much to be desired. Not to mention how overprotective King Olaf was said to be. No…definitely not worth it; even if he had wanted to find a wife….which he did not!

Arthur chose not to reply to his father's hint, instead pretended not to have picked up on it, "Of course father…..was there anything else you wanted to discuss? I am suppose to run through a few more drills with the fourth battalion*. They were a little slow during the last attack…" He knew that suggesting that any of the forces were not up to par would distract Uther and allow him the chance to leave.

It worked of course.

"Yes….that was it. See to it that they are in fighting form by next week….these may be peace talks but it would not do to show any sign of weakness…..a strong front is the only way to negotiate so that Camelot will get what she needs"

Arthur gave a succinct half nod of his head, before hastily leaving the room. His heart still thudding unreasonably fast.

He would stick to his resolution. He would not give Henry up….not yet. He would just have to be a bit more careful that was all. He still had plenty of time to come up with a solution that he could stomach.

Because leaving Henry was not something that he could or would tolerate.

Shaking his head with a self mocking smile, Arthur couldn't help but let out a derisive laugh at just how foolish and naïve he had been. To think that he could have his cake and eat it too.** Still even knowing what foolery his thoughts and ambitions had been, he couldn't stop wishing that they had been plausible.

(flashback: hour after meeting with Uther)—

"Uuuggh…"Henry let out a low throaty groan as Arthur pushed closer to him trapping the other man against the rough bark, never once letting their mouths part.

Arthur's lips curled into a self satisfied smirk at the noise, though he quickly pushed away his own satisfaction at being able to draw such a response in order to concentrate on revealing more of the deliciously muscled flesh on Henry's stomach. He felt more then saw the shiver that ran through the apprentice's body as he ghosted his fingers over the skin revealed, reveling in the smooth hardness.

So unlike any of the girls he had been with, where there was always a soft delicacy—frames that Arthur had to hold back with, if only for fear of breaking. Not now though—despite the other man's petite size, he still had the compact muscles of someone used to hard work. There was a wiry tautness that Henry possessed that Arthur would almost believe, that if forced, Henry could take him—though that was just madness. No doubt a small delusion brought on by his currently raging hormones.

They continued kissing for a while longer, both fighting to dominance before Arthur grudgingly relented and allowed Henry's tongue to enter and map out his mouth. He moved his hands almost hesitantly to caresses the skin just about Henry's breeches, unsure, but desperate to go continue their path down.

They had never gone further than kissing, above the waist groping, and a bit of over the clothes fooling around—he was both terrified but determined to go further this time. The time limit of his father's words beating down on him, making every stolen moment feel that much more.

He moved his thumb just under Henry's waist band waiting to see if the other man would protest or jerk away. When he didn't, Arthur knew that he had permission. Smiling slightly at Henry's disappointed hiss when he removed his hand, he hastily moved them to the front drawstrings determined to get rid of the restriction altogether.

He had just started to fumble with the delicate lace (he mentally berated himself for letting Merlin do all of his dressing, as apparently it was now getting in the way of his sex life. Merlin had probably done it on purpose—he wasn't sure quite how but he was reasonably sure that he had….) when the sharp crack of a twig got through his lust fogged brain, causing him to freeze.

It was obvious that Henry too had heard it as the other man's body went still as a statue and his breath froze. It took a mere second before Arthur's brain restarted and he jumped back from Henry moving to grab hold of the other man's arm with the intention of dragging him behind the thicker patch of trees and bramble, only to find that Henry had already moved there himself.

Arthur meant to follow only to realize that he was out of time and doing so would only further alert the quickly approaching person of Henry's current hiding spot. Instead Arthur hastily ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to hide its disorder, while also doing the same to his wrinkled shirt. He knew that it was still rather obvious to anyone with half a brain as to what he had been doing, but he hoped that he being who he was that they would not comment on it (or report it back to Uther).

When the figure finally materialized Arthur gave a start of surprise.

"M-Morgana?" well of all people to come across him this far out in the woods….he had not been expecting his adopted sister.

It would seem that Morgana was just as surprised ( if not more so) to see Arthur standing in front of her, if the shocked look that flitted across her face before being replaced by the normal haughty disdain, was anything to judge by.

"Arthur. What a surprise. What brings you out to these parts…..I thought that you were busy training, or at least that was what Uther said"

Arthur paused momentarily, unsure at the vehemence he heard her speak his father's name with, but quickly dismissed it as having misheard due to his own nerves, "er….yes…I was…am. I am. I was just….just looking for a good spot for them to do some situational fighting in….yes" Arthur nodded secretly proud of how quickly he had come up with a plausible excuse.

Morgana cocked an eye brow, skepticism apparent, "Situational fighting?" even while asking her keen eyes were scanning the area as though looking for the real reason Arthur was out here.

His heart just about stopped when her gaze fell on one particular set of brambles, but after a moment and a slight narrowing of her eyes she looked back at Arthur expectantly.

"Yes….well, it is not like we are going to be fighting on a clear, flat field all that often. I thought that finding an area in the woods where they could practice attacking and defending while dealing with various environmentally wrought obstacles would be best…." Arthur explained glad that his voice was steady and sure, "What are you doing out here?"

The glare he received made it clear that Morgana's questions had been a failed attempt at deflection. "I wanted to clear my head….I thought a walk in the woods were called for"

Arthur had to give her props….Morgana's poker face was a work of art. Despite how ridiculous her excuse sounded, the firm way she gave it with the blank expression made him wonder if it might actually be the truth….

Deciding that he did not really care all that much about whatever it was that Morgana was up to, he just nodded in acceptance. "I see….well you are getting rather deep. It would ease my conscience if you would turn around and continue your walk closer to the guards and grounds"

Morgana looked like she was going to argue for a moment before deciding against it and giving him a curt nod. "You as well…I am sure your men are getting antsy all alone. You wouldn't want Uther to find them unattended, you know how persnickety he is on those kind of things" she advised, the hidden warning (threat) clear to both of them.

He waited a few long minutes even after he saw her figure disappear into the mossy darkness of the trees before turning to where Henry was, no doubt, still hiding.

"You can come out now"

(end flashback)

Arthur grimaced unintentionally at what had happened after that; his mind still trying to shy away from it as though that might make it less true. If only the scene could have ended there…. his heavy heart and churning stomach would not be so!

Sadly, that was just not how reality worked—no matter how much Arthur desired it so. Sitting, lamenting on the events now, Arthur can only blame a fit of fearful paranoia for the actions that he took next.

His heart pounding so loud that he could barely think (much less do so rationally) at having almost been almost caught by his sister (for—if they had been less fortunate it could have been someone who was far more loyal to Uther…. or far more curious) he had let Uther's words and his own doubts win out.

He had done then what he had vowed that he would not do—or at least that he had not had the strength to do prior, he had told Henry that this could not continue. Perhaps not those words exactly, but the gist of them had meant the same. True, he had not spoken cruelly when delivering them, far from that; they had been rather heartfelt and sensible…but the result was the same.

The brief flash of hurt followed just as swiftly by resignation in those green eyes had almost made him take them back (something now he wishes he had done, for the existence that stretched before him without Henry's company seemed far to bleak and forlorn), but he had held strong.

"Just a break—it, this is too dangerous…. can't you see that? If we—you were caught….we just need to take some time, get some space….maybe once I am King…"

The half spoken pacifications had tasted bitter on his tongue even as he had spoken them. The distant, blank face of Henry nodding in apparent acceptance increasing it that much so. He knew right then and there that it would not have mattered if he had immediately realized his error and taken it back—the damage was done. The trust- or whatever variant of the fragile state- had already been broken between them. That staunch wall of protection and distance that Henry had brought with him to Camelot was once again as raised high.

Henry might nod and pretend to believe Arthur's unvoiced promises of 'someday' and 'just a break to sort out my thoughts, to come up with a safer option for us' but that was that it was—a false, contrived affect: nothing more.

Still they had both clutched to it—Arthur holding fast and stressing the sincerity of his words, even though he knew even as they fell that he was lying to both himself and Henry (something that Henry obviously knew as well). But he just couldn't bring himself to make a complete break—no matter how much cleaner and healthier it would have been. He knew that in a way it was rather cruel of him, to use words and future promises to keep the young man waiting for him when he knew deep down, that he would be waiting likely forever if Uther had his way (and Uther always did).

Yet he did it anyway. For as horrible and empty as he felt right now, he knew that it would be that much worse if he had severed any future hope completely.

With slightly shaky hands (which he ignored masterfully) he turned as he heard Merlin's bumbling gate enter his chambers. For a moment, surprise crossed his man servant's face (no doubt over the state Arthur was in—ashen faced, shaking hands…) before he expertly pushed it away (something that Arthur was rather appreciative of).

He would later deny it but he found himself grateful to Merlin, who for once had picked up on his unwillingness to banter or for that matter, have a conversation at all, and moved with uncharacteristic silence to where the cursed attire was lying.

A single questioning eyebrow was raised, to which Arthur nodded his consent to begin dressing him in it.

No matter how much he wished to skip the greeting of the arriving Kings, dignitaries, and their men, he knew that it was not an option. He allowed himself the time that it took Merlin to get him completely fastened in (which considering it was Merlin, was actually quite awhile) to wallow in his misfortunes before steadfastly burying any remaining regret.

He stiffened his spine and forced his mind to focus on the upcoming days and feasts—these talks were important, he could not allow his own personal drama to interfere with his duties to Camelot and his father.

After all, it was a lesson Arthur had learned very well over the years: duty came before everything:

Personal happiness included.

-o-

"…..fear for Camelot" the blond princess said tossing a disdain filled glance at where Gwen stood, before turning back to Arthur in clear dismissal.

Gwen grit her teeth and forced her already strained smile to remain in place. How dare she! Sure Gwen was not some high affluent royal—someone that Uther no doubt would love to see attached to his son's side—but that did not give the little witch the right to insult her to her face. Acting as if, just because, she was a servant she did not have ears to hear with!

This was the reason she so despised lords and ladies, outside of Arthur (who was in a entirely different class by himself…. Well, when he wasn't trying to please his ignorant father. Forgive her for her treasonous thoughts!) she had yet to meet a noble, or royal that was not putting on airs.

Though she could easily admit that Princess Vivian was bad even compared to the worst Gwen had encountered in Camelot….and that was saying something! Urg! Sure she was beautiful but with a personality like that….

At least from the clenched jaw and furrowed brows that Arthur was sporting, she was not the only one who was put off by the spoilt girl. And really, as long as Arthur didn't fall for the beautiful face then Gwen would gladly bare a few snide comments.

After all, she already had enough competition with regards to Arthur, without adding another suitor to the table! She masterfully ignored the voice of reason in the back of her head that stated she wouldn't have a chance even if the table were empty: One problem at a time and all that.

Bowing in false deference (because that was all that she could manage at the time) she backed out of the room and felt her heart swell as Arthur met her gaze and let out a low laugh. God how she adored this man!

Someone who could so easily dismiss class barriers to share a laugh with a servant girl. He was perfect.

And despite her earlier worries about his and Henry's growing 'friendship,' she could not bring herself to fret about it now, in this shared moment of mirth. Besides, she had two eyes—she could tell that the prince had been avoiding the slight teen and vice versa.

And as horrible as it sounded, that fact brought her no small amount of relief. The same kind of relief that came with Arthur's obviously contempt for Lady Vivian.

If this made Gwen a bad person, well so be it.

-0-

(Majority of dialogue in the following section taken from Merlin episode: sweet dreams)

Arthur did his best to ignore the tension that had been present lately between him and his manservant. He had only recently noticed that their normally easy going (yes there was plenty of insults traded but they were, for the most part, well meaning and in jest) relationship had somehow changed. There was an underlying sense of secrecy and awkwardness that had never been there before.

He could easily admit that this new tension was no doubt his fault—given that he had, until very recently, been sneaking off to dark corners in order to snog Merlin's not so beloved brother. But despite knowing that a lot of the eggshell stepping and avoidances were his fault, he didn't fail to notice that Merlin seemed to be doing his own share of it.

And if he were to be honest with himself, thinking back on his quasi friendship with his manservant this behavior had existed long before Arthur's contribution to it. Which brought to question—if Arthur was hiding his affair with Henry from Merlin, what was Merlin hiding from Arthur?

If anything, the new mystery helped distract him from his current woes and second guessing. Despite this, it was times like these, that Arthur missed the easy banter that had once existed. Now it simply felt forced. Still it wouldn't stop him from trying (pretending)….

"Merlin, what kind of impression do you think this gives?" he wiggled his thumb through a rather obvious hole in the jacket that Merlin had handed him minutes before. There, fall back on the easy reprimanding and insulting of his servant. He could do this…

Merlin paused in what he was doing (selecting the proper boots to complete the ensemble) to give the displayed garment a glance, "that we have moths?" he offered with a slightly sheepish look.

"Fetch me another" Arthur demanded, tossing it aside in an impatient gesture. It was exactly times like this that he became aware of how off balanced he felt around Merlin these days. Normally, he would have had a snappy retort or witticism for the servant, but now….

"And who might you be trying to impress, Sire?" Merlin asked, ignoring Arthur's demand—at least that part of his servant's behavior hadn't changed, not that Arthur was sure that was necessarily a good thing.

Feeling slightly comforted by this fact, Arthur found his response come more quickly to him, "Well, let me see. Perhaps the five kings sitting in banquet hall below" –just the right amount of sarcasm too. Arthur gave himself a mental pat on the back.

Merlin, still standing there not doing what he had been ordered raised a skeptical brow, "Oh. Not the King's daughter, then? The Lady Vivian, she is very beautiful"

Oh….this was awkward. It wasn't as though Arthur could defend himself with the truth (Gee Merlin, nope. The Lady Vivian does not interest me in the least….your brother on the other hand….). Yeah best to avoid that conversation, the consequences would not be pretty-especially since he no longer even had the benefit of being with said brother to offset the negatives…

So he decided to just throw facts at his servant and hope that Merlin would have the sense to let the topic go, "Anyone trying to impress the Lady Vivian dose so at extreme peril. Oalf would have their head in a vat of hot oil before they'd have a chance to say hello…" –there that sounded reasonable but seeing Merlin's not sold face he decided to elaborate a bit, "Plus she's not my type. She may be beautiful but she's incredibly rude. You should have heard what she said to Gwen." –very good. Merlin was friends with Gwen, anyone who insulted her would no doubt be on the manservant's shit list….not to mention he had, not so long ago, held a fair degree of affection for her. If reminding Merlin of this—even if subtly so—helped deflect his recent attentions to Henry, well that couldn't be a bad thing.

Merlin muttered something that he didn't quite catch, "What?"

Merlin coughed before clearing his throat, finally handing him a different doublet, "Nothing. I just know how you feel about her, that's all. That is, if your feelings haven't changed, as I presume they haven't"

Arthur wasn't sure if he imagined the accusation in Merlin's question or not, this was not the direction he wanted this conversation to go in. Because despite feeling slightly relieved that Merlin would assume that his new amour was Gwen, she wasn't all that much better then Henry in way of partner choices. The only thing she had going for her that Henry didn't was the fact that she was female. Both unfortunately were still servants; and therefore not possible choices for the Prince of Camelot. At least not according to his father.

"I do have my own vat of hot oil, you know" he threatened, half teasing, half not.

Apparently the teasing side was the part that Merlin picked up for his next comment was just as disrespectful and boundary crossing as most of his were (at least in the old days), "you're blushing!"

Again Arthur knew telling the truth would not be a good thing—he was not blushing, he happened to be red faced from nerves and lying….

"No I'm not" Arthur denied knowing it was no use. Surely Merlin would shut up soon?

"What's wrong with Gwen?" –apparently not. The gangly teen just had to keep pushing and digging….

Arthur bit back a sigh, "nothing" he answered flatly holding out his arms so that Merlin could lace the front of his shirt properly.

"I think she's very worthy of your love" Merlin persisted. Arthur wanted to find a hard wall and beat his (or Merlin's—preferably) head against it. Honestly! Was there no line his manservant was not willing to cross? He knew he was being a hypocrite, considering just moments before he had wished for the old Merlin and all of his flippant attitude included. But right now….

"Indeed were it so" Arthur found himself answering, though it was not Gwen he was picturing.

"Which….it is" Merlin insisted.

Head pounding and stomach churning as his thoughts went once again to that horrible last meeting in the clearing Arthur decided that he had, had enough of this conversation. "Merlin"

"Yes, Arthur?" the teen asked chipper as ever (probably more so in the wake of Arthur's growing annoyance).

"Get out" Arthur grit out, barely restraining himself from grabbing one of the heavy brushes on the nearby table and throwing it at the man.

Merlin gave a startled little eep, before scurrying (though it looked a lot like skipping from Arthur's point of view), "Yes Sire"

Oh god. He was so not in the mood for tonight….knowing his luck he would be sitting right next to Lady Vivian, waited on by Merlin, speaking distance from Gwen, and with an unobstructed view of Henry.

It was going to be a long night.

-0—

Gwen forced herself to pick her jaw up off of the floor, no matter how justified it was in being there. Had she not been present earlier to witness the interaction between Arthur and Vivian, she would have sworn that Merlin had been setting her up for some horrendously cruel prank.

She would not deny that when Merlin had tracked her down to tell her about his and Arthur's conversation—a conversation that had revolved around the Prince's feelings for her (HER!)—she had felt an immense swell of relief; Relief because her fears over Arthur and Merlin's brother had been entirely her own imagination running away with her once more. But now….

Well watching the Prince swoon and slather like an imbecile over the Lady Vivian, wasn't exactly lending credence to her reassurance. She would have thought that Merlin was completely off his head for suggesting that Arthur still harbored some unexpressed desire for her (hoped it really) but this attraction the prince was suddenly showing the visiting princess was anything but natural. That she was sure of (she had seen the disdain he held for the winy bitch!).

So what the hell was going on?

The only small silver lining (as vindictive and vicious as it was of her) was the fact that obviously she was not the only one present who was stunned and a bit put off at seeing the Prince's display.

She wrinkled her nose in disgust as she watched Arthur offer the Princess some tasty morsel from his fork, beaming like a love stricken fool as the blond bimbo giggled and accepted—it was enough to make her want to vomit (or shove the fork through said princesses overly googly eyes; whatever worked).

"Excuse me, I think I will call it a night. I don't think my presence is needed any longer…."

Gwen wrenched her eyes away from the sickening display in front of her to look over at the speaker. Henry was not looking all too well at the moment. His normally pale face had a pallor that was even unusual for him, while his mouth was pulled back so tightly that the lips could be imagined nonexistent. Yes, if Gwen's had to bare heartbreak and disappointment, at least she was not the only one.

She almost regretted her thoughts when she caught his eyes however-the amount of hurt in them….well even she was not that cruel. It made her pause. Had her previous fears about something going on between the Prince and the apprentice held some truth after all? She couldn't imagine that look in his eyes was over something the boy simply wished would happen…..it seemed to….potent.

No….surely not. She was being ridiculous. Sure she had feared something more going on between the two to some extent, but she had not truly believed it so….no, she was letting her imagination get away on her again. She gave her head a quick shake dismissing that line of thought from further contemplating sending the man a small, understanding smile before turning her attention back to the head table.

Half of her was jealous that Henry had the excuse and permission to leave so soon into the festivities….she (or Merlin for that matter) were not so lucky (being personal servants to two that were attending the bloody dinner required their presence for far longer than the normal/every day servants).

"What were you saying about my eyes, Arthur?" The nasally high voice of Vivian carried over the general din of the other dinners.

"My Lady, it is not your eyes which have captivated me….. looking into them I can see beauty, looking into your soul I see passion, looking into your mind I can see intelligence but it is your heart that has truly won me. For looking into your heart I can see the world" Arthur answered easily.

Gwen's teeth gnashed together as she picked up the wine pitcher to pour Lady Morgana (who was staring at her brother with a look made partially of confusion and amusement) another glass. Just a few seats down Oalf was looking rather red faced and pinched, while Uther looked decidedly nervous.

What the hell was Arthur thinking? –surely he knew that there were proper channels to go down if he wanted to woe the King Oalf's daughter (not that he did!). No. There was definitely something not right about all of this, not that she knew what or how it had come about….

What she did know, was that this was going to be a loooong night.

(to be continued…..) ;)

Notes:

This chapter follows along the general outline of the original episode: sweet dreams. There are some changes (obviously). But the major parts—like Arthur and Vivian originally disliking each other, the kings coming to meet for a peace talk, King Alined having both Arthur and Vivian dosed with love potions in hoping of breaking up the peace talks (by having Arthur take the princesses virtue under the influence), Merlin mistakenly telling Gwen that Arthur is still in love with her did take place. Obviously Arthur does not still have feelings for Gwen but Henry, otherwise there are no major changes. If you are confused as to what is going on in the chapter I recommend wiki for Merlin. Hope that helps!