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Eighteen

Bella didn't sleep in her hotel room for the next three days. She and I lived in blissful self imposed hermitage, only dressing enough to not embarrass ourselves when we answered the door to collect food deliveries. We left only once besides an uneventful lunch with Alice because Bella wanted to pick up a change of clothes. That week was first time I'd called in sick to work since I started at the firm. We spent most of our time camped out either in bed or on the couch half watching movies on cable; we always started them, but never seemed to finish.

By midweek, Alice was apparently getting restless; she finally called Tuesday afternoon saying she could use some help in her studio. I could tell Bella felt guilty that she had all but forgotten her friend since they'd arrived, but Alice said not to worry, and that she'd barely been around anyway. It didn't really seem to make Bella feel that much better and on impulse, she volunteered my help in addition to her own (I had called into work that Monday saying I had the flu and would be out all week so she knew I was free). Alice was characteristically enthusiastic about the extra help.

"Are you going to be the mannequin again?" I asked; the thought of watching her change in and out of clothes all day was oddly enticing.

She straddled my lap while I tried to keep my focus. "No, I think Alice has an actual model she's using now."

I moved my hands to rest on the tops of her thighs, focus, what focus? "That's a shame. I would have liked to see that." I started working on the buttons of the shirt of mine she'd taken to wearing, but she put her hands on mine.

"I told her we'd be at her studio in an hour."

I unfastened a button. "That's fine, we can make it," I unfastened another one. Somewhere in my mind, my more logical side was telling me there was no way we'd both get cleaned up and across town that fast, but I was stifling it.

Bella had more will power than I did. She got on her feet, the top two buttons of her shirt still undone. She smiled part way, "I'm going to shower."

"Need help?"

For a second, she actually looked like she was considering it; instead, she took a small step back. "No, I think I'll manage."

While she was showering, I curbed my temptation to join her by reintroducing myself to the world. I checked my work e-mail, gave Jasper a call, and remade the bed. Bella came out of the bathroom fully dressed, much to my dismay. She told me she was wearing an Alice approved wrap dress; I learned that this meant the dress was actually wrapped around her body and that I could untie it at the waist to take it off. I approved of this outfit as well.

We made it to Alice's studio space a little after 3 o'clock. It was about as big as a medium sized apartment and filled to exploding with clothes, fabric, and things I didn't know the names of. The walls were bare and painted white and one very large window took up most of the far side, letting in a lot of natural light. A model was standing near the center of the room, completely still as Alice draped something around her waist. Another girl was standing to the side with a camera hanging off her wrist and a notebook in her hands, next to her was a man talking with Alice. "I think the belt should be thicker and maybe a bright red, do you think? To contrast with the neutrals in your collection."

Alice nodded without turning around; Bella cleared her throat unsubtly. "You've been busier than me," Alice said, facing us with a wide grin.

Bella blushed, "Alice…"

She ignored her and stood on her toes to kiss me on the cheek. "Hi." She said brightly. "Oh! Rose wants to say hi," she skipped over to her laptop, which was set up on a small table near the window. She typed a few things in and soon Rose's, and another much smaller, face filled the screen.

Rosalie was beaming as we walked over; the only other expression I'd seen on her was mild discontent, so this was nice. "Look David, it's aunt Bella," she cooed.

Bella's expression warmed as she spoke to Rose and her son. From what Bella had told me, David looked exactly like Emmett. He had peach fuzz for hair that was coming in very dark and two perfect dimples, but had Rose's clear blue eyes. She held him close and after a few minutes, he was asleep in her arms.

I had never spent much time thinking about having children. I always knew I wanted them, but hadn't ever thought about when, how many, or if I wanted boys or girls. I suppose I always assumed things would happen in their own time. Watching Bella's eyes soften at the sight of David made me wonder; did she want kids? Did I see that in our future? And, why the hell was I thinking about this, she just got here less than a week ago. Yeah and you slept with her on the first date.

In my thought processes defense, nothing about our relationship was conventional.

I was brought out of my reverie by a loud, booming voice coming from the speakers of Alice's laptop. "Is that Edward?" Emmett's face blotted out Rose's completely as he brought it right up to the camera. "Hey man! I'm Rose's lesser half, Emmett," he smiled and I laughed.

"Hey, good to meet you."

"We should get a drink when we get out there; I won't grill you like the girls did. Hey, do you-," he was stopped by Rose who had pushed him out of the way. Emmett and Rose were due in New York on September 12th, Bella's original arrival date. From what Bella had said and meeting Emmett just now, it sounded like I wouldn't have much trouble making friends.

I could see Rose again, "ok, I'm going to go put him down," I heard Emmett in the background asking "me?"

The afternoon passed slowly; I became the gopher because I was useless in any other capacity. Mostly though, I had a lot of down time which is never a good thing for me; it allows me to think too much. I thought about the person that's been on the top of my list for a good long while now. What was going to happen after this trip was over? We both had lives three thousand miles apart. And the future – I was a little embarrassed that I was thinking about it so much. Bella and I shared similar values, likes, tastes; we were just the same enough to get along without it getting boring or predictable. I knew the same way I knew I was falling in love with her, that we would be good together.

We all went to dinner at a little place within walking distance of my apartment. After a promise to Alice that we would use the hotel room she paid for soon, Bella and I walked leisurely back to my place. I didn't mean to blurt it out, but it somehow managed to bypass all my filters. "Have you ever thought about having kids?"

I felt her stiffen and I mentally kicked myself; I knew it would scare her. "I don't mean like right now; I just meant…some day. We've never really talked about…that," I looked at her to gauge her reaction. She was biting her lip, but not in that great sexy way that I like, more in a nervous, pained way. "Never mind, that was a stupid question." I backpedaled, "Forget I asked."

Bella didn't speak until we were almost home. "I've thought about it," she didn't have to explain what she was talking about. Her tone implied that was all she was going to say.

She leaned into my side as we walked down the hall to my apartment; I knew something wasn't right, but I didn't want to push her into talking. I let us inside and she walked straight into the bedroom to change. I followed her and watched as she undressed quietly and slipped my shirt over her head. She rolled her shoulders, "I'm really tired tonight."

It was a little after ten o'clock. "I'll join you; I'm pretty tired too."

"You don't have to; I know it's still kind of early." She walked into the bathroom and I was right behind her.

I grabbed my toothbrush and smiled, "I want to."

Bella laid almost on top of me when we got into bed; I held her close and pressed my lips to her hair. "You can tell me anything, you know that right?" I'd known from the very beginning that she was keeping something from me, but I never felt the need to press her for answers. All I knew for sure was that it was something big and ever present, like this grey filter through which I saw her and she saw the world.

She nodded against my chest, "let's just go to sleep, ok?"

"Ok."

She curled a leg around one of mine and was asleep within minutes; I stayed awake for a long time. Sometime during the night she had a nightmare that woke us both; she sat straight up in bed and put a hand to her forehead. I pulled her back to me and held her, asking if she was alright. She told me not to worry, but that was unavoidable. I thought about her long after she fell back to sleep, wondering what could have possibly taken such a toll on her.