Do any of us truly own even our very existence? I don't own this, I made it up one day with my sister mathgirl92 while we were in the car driving home from youth group. And I just rolled with it. ;)
Joker had decided to take a walk, and just think about how his life was going. How annoying Harley Quinn was, what to have for dinner, and plain old planning on what he could do to drive Batman insane.
Then out of nowhere, he got clobbered by a rock of all things. Honestly, people have tried to kill him with way more original weapons, in very creative ways. But never with a pebble. Was his new attempted murderer seriously underestimating The Joker that much?
When he got up he saw the most marvelous sight. There was a beautiful pale-blond woman staring at him blankly, and he could tell there was something odd about her, so he did the best thing he could think of; he invited her to tea. 'Cause she looked British, and Brits practically worship the stuff.
They even have a set time in the day to drink tea, and everyone knows that's what started that war between America and Britain. The American colonies were really inconsiderate and wasteful when they dumped all that tea into the ocean. No wonder the Brits were mad, that must've been like the equivalent of throwing the Pope's hat into the sewer.
But the Joker was getting sidetracked. He and the aloof blonde were sitting in a café, he was drinking hot chocolate while she got some awful smelling crap called Earl Grey. The ever-smiling villain decided to question the glazed eyed woman.
"So… you like that tea?" He said, in what he thought was a smooth voice, and poked at the marshmallows in his drink. The blonde stared hard at the mug in her hand.
"Not in the least bit. Tastes like soap." The Joker grinned impossibly wider at that comment.
"Then why'd you get it? Oh, let me guess, you're planning on using it to poison the city's water system. No, the world's!" Insane cackles filled the café, making the cashier by the counter cower in fear even more than the poor man already was.
"Nope."
"Why not? It would be something fun to do at least, and I could even introduce you to the Bat! He's a fun guy. Always makes time in his very busy schedule to see me."
"Because there's no point. Especially if I ranted about how I was to go about killing everyone. The hero would know my plan, and then stop me. Not that I would use poison to take over the world, that would infringe upon the Nargle's claim. Waffles would be the way I would do it." She then nodded to herself and sipped her tea.
The Joker meanwhile, was gaping at the blonde in awe. She had just revealed to him the flaws of all his brilliant schemes. Could this be love?
A giant crash from the entrance disturbed him from his one-sided staring contest. And in walked the Joker's number one stalker; Harley Quinn. And she looked absolutely furious.