Rated M. This is a piece of literary fiction. The Author does not claim ownership pertaining to the ideas/characteristics/ect, of Hetalia or any subsidiary thereof.
Rated M.
OoOoOo
Ludwig had barely made it through air port security, before he was already feeling ill at ease over this plan. However, somewhere, an ocean away, his soul mate was lost and sad. She was hurting from a terrible pain he had caused, but he was not a bad person for being unable to accept her so easily. It wasn't that he thought her a terrible person, not at all. Clumsy, granted, and loud; yes. But not terrible.
Not as someone he could never want nor love. It was the bitter and glaring fact that she simply did not measure up to the fantasies he had created in his head. She wasn't a sweet and demure Canadian woman, or a vivacious Australian. Nor, was she a proper and cultured English woman. No... she was... American.
Yet, even though he held no particular love of the country, and had heard so many negative things about the people there; Ludwig reflected on the smile she'd given him that last day. The utter helplessness in her expression as she tried to give him a pleasant 'Goodbye'. The shine in her eyes or unshed tears.
Reflecting on that, made him hurt. It made him miss the cocky American. He tightened his hold on his luggage, and checked his ticket one more time.
His thoughts shifted to the angry scowl on his brother's face. The obvious displeasure at Ludwig. Not actually for rejecting Amelia, that was Ludwig's choice, but for how he had done it. It did not take much for the blonde to realize that Gilbert saw a lot of himself in the heartbroken American woman. Elise had promised to smooth things over for him with Gilbert, while he was gone.
Elise had understood. Some people simply didn't blindly love the other half. Some had to find a reason to do it.
She'd flown an ocean to find him... six times, he vaguely recalled her saying. Maybe that had been the reason he'd softened toward Amelia. Maybe it was the fact she'd respected his distance and waited. Or, perhaps, it was just that she'd loved him from the beginning, even when he'd wanted nothing to do with her.
That thought alone made his heart clench in determination. Amelia had loved him. Therefore, it might not be too late, and she might love him still. Because, he knew now that he loved her.
OoOoOo
In a quiet neighborhood, in a bustling city in Montana, as the snow fell harder and harder, a young woman sat in the empty silence of her living room.
Amelia had kicked off her snow boots and simply... sat. She hadn't moved since she left the support group three hours ago. She was wallowing, just a bit. Then she'd pick herself back up by her bootstraps and do something.
She had a bunch of things to get done anyway. There were mindless tasks, they advised her to bury herself in for a bit, such as cleaning and cooking. Blue eyes, infinitely sad, glanced over to the window, as the snow continued to fall in fat flakes of white.
She wasn't even certain what she was waiting for, anymore. There was no hope of a soul mate to cling to. Nothing to ease the sting of the loneliness that threatened to suffocate her. She merely sat, like a painting on a wall.
Yet, deep inside of her, Amelia was not ready to give up hope yet. Some other abandoned soul mates still found love. Perhaps not the predestined sort, but a happy existence. So, she dragged herself to get ready for bed, and knew that tomorrow would be a new day.
She still had work to do, and she'd find away to let go of Ludwig. Because despite him not wanting her, she couldn't hate him. She wasn't...w hat he wanted. She avoided looking at herself in the mirror, because it brought up old doubts.
Maybe she wasn't pretty enough. Or smart enough. It had to have been her, after all. Ludwig had been freaking perfect. She'd gotten to listen to Gilbert praise about his brother for weeks, almost two months.
Her house did not feel like home anymore. It felt cold and alone. Bleak. Bleak was a good word for it. Often, she wondered what about her was so awful, that not even her soul mate would want her. The Austrian man had been nice to her, and Elise had talked to her.
Elise had tried to get her to stay, saying that Ludwig only needed a few more days to think. Yet, she couldn't ignore her job any longer, or she wouldn't have one. Her FMLA was all used up, and she had bills to pay.
So, practicality had won out over a life time of hopes and dreams. That had been crushed by a freaking cup of coffee. She thought that maybe that is why he'd said no. However, she knew it was far more than that.
Amelia rubbed tiredly at her temples. Thinking of it too much made her cry.
Crying made her hurt.
But, she'd rather this. Because despite it all, she would always love Ludwig. And, she took comfort in knowing she wasn't alone. It didn't happen often, that a soul mate was rejected, but it did happen.
Amelia forced herself to smile and thing of the future. It could get better. Because, it could not get any worse.
OoOoOo
Ludwig adjusted his clothes, trying to appear as polite as possible as he knocked on the blue door. He shuffled, ignoring the cold sting in his hands and face at the bitter chill. It took a few moments, before a man answered, looking none too pleased to see him.
"Yeah?"
"Hello," Ludwig said in clearly accented English. "I am sorry to bother you, but that house next door-"
He paused to point to Amelia's address.
"The woman that lives there, she is not answering."
The man drew together his large, bushy, white eyebrows in a furrowed line.
"She wouldn't," he responded gruffly. "she's at her meeting."
Ludwig blinked, confused by his words.
"What?"
The old man peered at Ludwig, with a strange sort of light in his eyes, as if he somehow could guess who Ludwig was. His brown eyes shifted to the house and back to Ludwig.
"Her soul mate rejected her, she's been going to a support group for the people like her. The abandoned ones. The Mrs. and I look in on her from time to time, she always comes and shovels are driveway when it snows. Sweetest thing, that girl."
Ludwig felt an uncomfortable knot form in his shoulders as the weight of the man's words proved to be a brutal reminder that he hadn't really gotten to know his soul mate at all.
"A-abandoned?" He clarified with a wince.
The old man's stare did not spare him.
"Yup. Shame isn't it? Some people take a gem and toss it in the trash." He quipped, eyeing the younger man up and down.
Ludwig cleared his throat uncomfortably.
"I am sure they had their reasons."
Brown eyes stared at him a moment longer.
"Don't we all?" The old man muttered with distaste. "Now, if you'll excuse me, my program's on."
Ludwig, would have responded, but the man shut the door in his face with a deafening 'Thud'. A sense of panic twitched at him, however, he refused to be swayed. He marched over to her door once more, and stamped his feet to return some feeling to them.
He'd wait.
OoOoOo
Two hours later, a modest green car pulled down the snow covered street, making crunching sounds as it compacted the evidence of the weather beneath it. He watched, partially frozen, as it pulled into her driveway.
He had been sitting, waiting patiently, on her stoop.
He watched as she turned the car off, and got out, closing the door behind her. Out of reflex, at the sight of her again, his heart sped up and he smiled softly. Completely unaware he was doing so.
She came closer, and just as she saw him, she stopped dead in her tracks. His smile dimmed as she slowly lowered her foot and blinked. Blue eyes widened at him, from behind her glasses. The small flakes of white clung to her hair, some melted and some did not.
One or two took a path to land on her nose.
Her hair was down, and she had a blue scarf wound around her neck to ward off the chill. It matched her eyes perfectly and made them stand out even more.
In that moment, Ludwig had never seen anyone more enchanting in all his life.
"Wh-What are you doing here?" She asked, not sad but neither was she glad to see him. Amelia just looked... lost.
As if Ludwig were some great mystery she did not even begin to understand.
"I-I... wanted to apologize." He said with a slight stammer as his face flushed red.
She glanced down, tilting her face away from him.
"You could have just called," his soul mate replied softly. " You didn't have to come. It's expensive and I know you don't like it here."
He didn't, but he did like her.
"I thought about it," Ludwig admitted, trying to keep from crowding her because he wanted to get closer to her. It was hurting him physically to keep his distance when she looked at him like that.
"I was afraid you wouldn't answer," he admitted with open sincerity.
Amelia lifted her head up just a touch, her blue eyes locked with his.
"I would have." She told him without hesitation.
And, he suddenly knew that she was telling the truth. Despite what had happened between them, she would not have ignored him. She was much stronger, in that respect, than he was. If she had turned out to be his fantasy, and had rejected him... Ludwig would have been crushed.
Silence stretched between them, and though he saw her shiver from the cold, Amelia said nothing at all. She didn't try to leave, but she wasn't rushing to embrace him again. Which he both did and did not want. It wasn't really a German way to express excitement. Hugs threw him off.
But he wanted her arms around him, not this self-created distance. His lips parted, desperately seeking to say something. Anything to break up the silence.
"I forgive you," she said, beating his attempts into the snow. "If that's what you're looking for."
Ludwig's blue eyes widened and he stared at her. Amelia wouldn't look at him, she simply kept her gaze down. A soft, but sad sort of smile was on her lips.
"What?" He asked, his throat felt tight.
"I forgive you, I do." She said again, quietly this time. "So, go home. Feel better. Don't feel guilty. It happens sometimes."
All he could do was breathe, and he thought it was noisy to his ears. He was falling apart at the way she was attempting to absolve him of his guilt. He'd thought the words would sound hollow or superficial, but they weren't. He could see it on her face. It was taking everything she had, and as her blue gaze clashed with his; Ludwig saw tears.
She was smiling through them, and it seemed so strange to him.
"Go home Ludwig. It's alright. I'll be fine."
He stood, rooted to the spot, as she started walking forward. Her chin was tilted up and her back was straight. She stopped, just a foot or two away from him, blinking and trying to keep more tears from falling.
"Give my best to Elise and Gilbert." Amelia said softly.
"Amelia," Ludwig replied, looking at her as if he couldn't understand her words. She was pushing him away? He knew it was possibility, but she wasn't even yelling at him. Her tears, however, were painful for him as he knew they likely were for her.
"Please, Ludwig," she said with a hint of desperation in her words. Blue eyes seared into him, pleasing with him to let her keep her pride. "I can't make you love me if you don't. And, I'm not going to try and punish you just because you don't want me."
The nearly defeated slump of her shoulders, and the way she looked at him had Ludwig struggling to breathe.
Then, she smiled at him, with a light of love shining in her eyes that made his veins sing with the knowledge that part of her still cared for him.
"You didn't do anything wrong, okay? You don't have to love me. I know that. I know you probably... probably never will and that's okay too. But, please, have a heart. Let me grieve the loss of you in private."
"Amelia," he said again, trying to convey all that he felt in that single word as his own eyes pricked with hot-tears against the cold.
She shook her head lightly, digging her keys out of her pocket, and unlocked her door.
"Go home Ludwig," she said once more, barely above a whisper. "Go home, and be happy. Okay? I want you to be happy."
"I do want you." He said in a rush. His features the color of crimson as he flushed. It was the most he'd really ever said to her, out of denying her and their connection.
She paused, minutely moving her head to the side slightly, as if she hadn't heard him correctly. She hadn't even taken the keys out of the door yet.
Ludwig felt deep in his heart, that this was a pivotal moment.
"Amelia, I came here... to America... to you, to apologize for hearting you and to tell you that I want you to come back to Germany."
She didn't turn, or answer him. She stood there, like a living statue, not even breathing.
"I love you, Amelia," Ludwig confessed, feeling at the end of his rope.
She whirled on him them, an Angel of fury and exposed hurt.
"Don't be cruel," she snapped with tears glittering as a further testament to broken heart. "Don't mock me."
"I'm not-"
"You don't love me, I know you don't. You've made that perfectly clear!"
He took a half step back from her, and ended up tripping off her stoop and into the snow. For a moment, her face was awash in concern as her hand reached for him. But it was not quick enough, and she watched him fall down.
Ludwig swallowed, feeling humiliated and embarrassed. Blue met blue and for a moment he thought she might come help him, but Amelia's features scrunched into sadness.
"I'm sorry," she said, forcing the words past her mouth, as she went inside her house. She shut the door on him, but she couldn't bring herself to look into his eyes again.
OoOoOo
The apartment reeked of stale alcohol and unwashed male. Ludwig was not ashamed to admit he was a bit...depressed. He hadn't shaved in days, and had taken the rest of his 'holiday' to stew in his own despair.
He'd gone home, not knowing what else to do.
Being rejected by a soul mate, the person that was to love you above all others, was utterly awful. He could completely understand why Amelia hadn't liked it. He'd called around to his brother's and Elise had known the whole story, before it was even out of his mouth.
Amelia had spoken to Gilbert.
She'd talk to Gilbert, but she wouldn't respond to Ludwig. It stung and it burned. He hurt. His mind and heart. So, he drowned his sorrows in alcohol. When he tried to call her, his tongue seemed to shake, unable to form words. His heart beat around like a caged bird, and he couldn't form a coherent sentence.
That might have also been due to the alcohol.
His brother and Elise had tried to coax him to come by, but Ludwig would not hear of it. He quietly drank, until it didn't hurt as bad anymore. For several days he did this.
Until he was, so rudely, intruded upon.
The door opened, with a loud slam, and Gilbert was hauling him up to snarl in his face.
"What is the matter with you?" The albino sibling questioned while shaking Ludwig a bit. "Get a hold of yourself."
"She...she won't come back," he replied in a still drunken state.
Gilbert's hard glared, faded and pity took its place. That was infinitely worse than the anger.
"Ludwig-"
"Won't come back," the blonde slurred, "hates me."
"She doesn't hate you." Gilbert said with a sigh, setting his drunken and foul smelling brother back down on the sofa.
Blue eyes, with a glassy look to them, stared mutely forward.
"Honestly, Lud, she doesn't hate." His older brother said, sitting next to him and popping open a beer. He took a deep drink before he sighed again.
"Did I ever tell you about Elise and me?"
Ludwig nodded, silently.
"Oh good, then you'll love hearing it again." Gilbert replied with a winning grin and slight cackle.
OoOoOo
He had to go back to work in three days, and Ludwig knew that his productivity would be horrendous after all that had happened.
Gilbert had finished off his beer, and taken the rest home. He called it a payment for forcing Ludwig to bathe, shave, and face the world again.
The blue-eyed brother was as close to hating Gilbert as he ever had in all his years. Though, on some level, he understood it was out of care that Gilbert did everything he did.
So, when he heard the lock turning on the door again, he assumed it was his 'Awesome' older brother. He turned with a glare from his coffee pot, and a frown was already settled on his features.
Therefore, he was wholly unprepared when it was not Gilbert that swung the door open. It was not crimson eyes that stared back into his, but the blue that haunted him every time he looked in the mirror.
His frown morphed into shock at the sight of her there.
Amelia.
Her hair was a bit messy, and her clothes hung a bit loosely on her. Simple traveling clothes, of jeans and a T-shirt. He didn't even see a suitcase with her.
She swallowed, and looked at him. Slightly afraid and dazed all at once.
"Your brother gave me the key... and...I.. have no idea what I'm doing here." She said, and his shock faded into disbelief.
Ludwig looked around, grateful that Gilbert had cleaned before Amelia came. Otherwise she would think he lived like a barn yard animal.
"I live here," Ludwig said, and it sounded lame to his own ears.
But, it made her give a startled laugh and she blushed, unable to meet his gaze. She found his potted plant highly interesting though.
"Yeah, I know," she admitted softly.
She shuffled a toe at the wood floor and he could see she was struggling with what to say.
"But I... I got to thinkin', when you left, that maybe you weren't being cruel. Maybe you really... meant it and you wanted me to..."
"Come to Germany?" He finished, repeating his words as a feeling of warmth exploded in his thoughts.
She'd come back to him. The crazy American had gotten on a plane , with what looked to be nothing, and actually came to him. Again.
"Yeah," Amelia nodded, risking a glance at him.
They both eyed one another for a moment.
"Did you mean it?" She asked, and Ludwig needed no elaboration.
"Yes." He said, placing his hands in front of him and on the counter. "Yes, I meant every word."
The look of radiant joy and disbelief that shone of her face, was enough for Ludwig to nearly melt. She was gazing at him as if he was the keeper of the stars themselves.
"I love you." She said.
In eight steps, Ludwig closed the distance between them. Feeling the strange optimism that Americans seemed to hold, like Amelia, that maybe it would all work out in the end. That perhaps, things really were meant to be.
Because as he kissed her, Ludwig knew what it felt like to be whole.
OoOoOo
Passionate kisses had made it so that one thing led to another as the pair was busy trying to memorize each precious inch of skin that was unveiled from the confines of clothing. Ludwig had managed to get them to his room, before Amelia's bra was tossed onto the ceiling fan.
Fevered caresses and gentle moans were the litany of passion they found themselves in. Until, it reached a point, where protection was called for.
He reached for the condom wrapper, ready to rip the damn thing open with his teeth if he had to, as Amelia mewled beneath him, clearly wanting more. Something Ludwig was happy to give her.
With quick and nimble fingers he rolled it down the length of his manhood.
A perplexed look crossed her face and she closed her legs quickly.
"Wat?" He panted, trying to discern why she was pulling away.
"Why... why does the condom have spikes on it?" She asked, blinking up at him half-afraid.
His face went carefully neutral, and he desperately had to keep himself from reaching for her to show her it would be just fine. Spikes or no.
"They don't... have these in America?" He asked, clearing his throat while he flushed.
"Not like that, we sure as hell don't." She said point at his manhood as if it were a vicious snake about to bite her. "I mean we have some studded things, but that just looks... bad."
Well, that wilted him a bit. Ludwig, was mortified by how off topic the sex had become.
"I have others," he offered and she nodded quickly, interest back in her eyes.
Fine. A different sort of condom. He could manage that fine. If he had to go the grocery store and get them, he would.
He carefully took it off, and searched in his night stand for another. Quickly he located one, and ripped it open, unrolling it over his length. Amelia had risen to her knees, as she kissed at his neck and shoulders while he finished getting ready.
He turned around to kiss her, when she pulled back and blinked for a moment.
Ludwig felt some unease at the way her blue eyes turned quizzical.
"Wat?" He asked again, feeling slightly absurd.
"Why did you have so many condoms anyway?" Amelia asked, her voice suddenly a touch suspicious.
Ludwig flushed at the implication and gaped at her.
"I didn't know if you were coming back, when I went to America, but I had been hopeful-"
A look of shy attraction stole over her features, as he got through most of the sentence. Amelia did not let him finish as she quickly covered his lips with hers.
"Ludwig," she purred with delight and arousal.
He nearly yelped when she pushed him down, with a look in her blue eyes that suggested he'd better be prepared to give her his all. Because she would take nothing less.
OoOoOo
In his home, with his dear wife, Gilbert cackled with joy at his own awesomeness.
Elise glanced at him in open amusement.
"You seem rather pleased with yourself," she commented dryly.
"By now, by dear bruder, should be confessing undying love to Amelia." Gilbert confided with a twinkle in his crimson gaze.
Elise smiled at him, shaking her head.
"Hm, I don't think that is really Ludwig's nature. However, you really have taken a liking to that girl."
"Oh, you are the only one for me Elise," he whispered as he kissed the top of her head. "But I felt for the poor girl. She was just so... fun. I couldn't let Ludwig leave his life so empty. She's perfect for him, like you are for me."
Elise's soft features turned a sweet shade of red as she listened to the poetry-sweet words that Gilbert held, just for her. It was what had made her realize that he was her other half. She never had to voice an insecurity, Gilbert always knew. And, he was the 'excitement' that she needed.
But Elise knew that she was Gilbert's safe haven. The quiet place he could go to when he needed rest. She caught a glimpse of the soul mate tattoo and looked at it in fondness.
"So, you are the one meant for me!"
Yes, much like Ludwig and Amelia. They were just different enough to be a perfect fit.