It was a cool, fall afternoon when Melanie and Gwain found themselves in the castle gardens. Melanie, with one arm linked through Gwain's, had both hands protectively on her pregnant stomach.
"She's restless." She sighed. "Only when I'm walking will she be calm."
"Not long now, Love." Gwain reminded, kissing her temple.
"Easy for you to say." She replied. "She's not keeping you awake all hours of the night." An intense pain shot through Melanie's stomach, causing her to cry out.
"Something's wrong." She gasped out. Gwain looked terrified for both his wife and their child. He waisted no time taking her up in his arms and running her to Gaius.
"Gwain." Melanie croaked. Clinging to her husband. "I think I lost the baby."
"You can't be sure of that." He insisted.
They made it to Gaius and the old man looked surprised and confused at them. His question was answered when he saw the look of agony on Melanie's face and the blood staining her skirt.
"She's gone." Melanie cried as Gwain laid her down on the cot. "The baby's gone." Gaius approached and pressed a hand to Melanie's stomach.
"I'm sorry Melanie." Gaius shook his head.
"I don't understand." Gwain said, barely able to raise his voice from a whisper. "She did everything you told her to. No strenuous activity. Took all of the potions in correct amount."
"Sometimes the body just can't handle it." Gaius explained. "But, my dear girl, it is not your fault. Mourn your loss. Do what you must. But don't put the blame on yourself. You did everything you could."
News spread fast throughout the castle after a serving girl saw Gwain rush Melanie into the physicians chambers. The first to visit her was Merlin. She was pacing around her room. Now dressed in a nightgown. The pain in her stomach had not left, but she couldn't sit.
Gwain sat on the bed watching her. Too afraid to say something that would hurt her. His wife was in despair and he couldn't do anything for her.
"Melanie?" Merlin asked. "Is it true? They saw you with Gaius."
"I lost the baby." She had her arms wrapped around herself. Her voice was filled with despair. "Gaius insists its not my fault, but why do I feel so guilty?"
"It's normal to feel that way." Merlin assured, wrapping Melanie in his arms. "But you did nothing wrong. We were all there to make sure you were doing right. This was not your fault."
"It hurts." She buried her face in his neck. "It hurts so bad."
"I know it does." He rubbed circles on her back. "It's going to for a while."
"I don't know what to do." She cried.
"Gaius said the best option is rest." Gwain said. "Melanie, please lie down."
"I've been lying down for three damn months." She let go of Merlin and wiped furiously at her eyes. "I can't be still anymore."
"Just for today." He promised. "Tomorrow we'll go back to training."
"I'll bring you a draft to help you sleep." Merlin added. "You have to rest. Please." He held her by her shoulders. "You've gone through one of the most traumatic things I can imagine. If you don't rest, you won't heal."
She nodded weakly and Merlin hugged her once more. Kissing her head. "I'll be gone only a moment." He left her standing in the middle of the room.
"Come here, Darling." Gwain beckoned. She walked slowly to the bed and sat beside him. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her as close as he could. "I promise you things will get better."
"A mother is supposed to protect her children." She said. "But I couldn't protect our child long enough for them to see the world. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me."
"I do not blame you for what happened." He insisted. "I could never hate you. These things happen." He kissed her head. "I love you so much and nothing will ever change that. We will get past this. Together." Merlin returned with vial of blue liquid.
"Have you eaten today?" He asked, placing the vial on the table.
"Not since breakfast." Gwain answered for her. Knowing she's insist she was fine.
"You should have something to eat before you sleep."
"I'm not hungry." She shook her head.
"Melanie." Merlin pleaded. "You have to eat. Even if it's only a little."
"I'll get you something." Gwain said, releasing Melanie. He kissed her quickly and left the room.
"I'm afraid, Merlin." Melanie admitted once Gwain was gone from the room. "I'm very afraid."
"Why?" He asked, kneeling in front of her.
"What if Gwain stops loving me because of this? What if I can't have another child?"
"I wish I could assure you that you could have another child." Merlin admitted. "But, as for Gwain. I have never seen him more infatuated with anyone. Gwain would die for you. That is not going to change because of something no one could have predicted. Trust me. You will not lose Gwain."
"I just want to hold a sword again." She admitted. "I don't want to think of this any longer."
"Just rest for tonight." Merlin insisted. "You can go back tomorrow. I promise you, you'll feel better after you've eaten and gotten some sleep."
Gwain returned with a small plate of bread and fruit. Knowing she wouldn't want to eat much.
"Take care of yourself, Melanie." Merlin begged. "Come find me if you need anything." Melanie nodded and forced a smile.
"Just eat a little." Gwain said. "Then sleep." She nodded, taking a few grapes in her hand.
"I love you." Gwain said. "You do know that. Don't you, Darling?"
"Can you still love me? After losing our baby? What if I get pregnant again and I miscarry a second time?"
"There's no assurance of that not happening." Gwain admitted. "What we can do is hope and stay positive. I know it isn't what you want to hear. But if you think I could ever stop loving you because of this you've lost your mind." He kissed her softly. "Eat some more then we'll sleep. And tomorrow is a new day." Melanie nodded and finished off the last of her food before taking the vial and downing the draft.
And Melanie slept. Gwain watched over her until he himself became exhausted. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around her abdomen. As he had done every night since they discovered the pregnancy. Almost as if he could protect the baby.
It killed him to know that they may never have children. But, he in no way blamed his wife. The beautiful creature before him who gave herself to the world. And who the world loved to take from. Plagued by visions of the future. But not given the chance to prepare for this tragedy.