She looks pleased for a nanosecond, then grim again, but before either of us decides to break the silence, three monkeys get up and stagger towards the exit, never looking back.
Victory. This victory was possible thanks to Penryn's intervention… recalling her trick to distract the gang members, I can't help chuckling a little.
"You looked, ridiculous with those wings" I tell her, she did, but it was also kind of endearing, like the puppies people dressed up with little human outfits. Even a tough guy like me would have a hard time hating those dogs.
She doesn't answer, just gets some key out of her pocket that must be the key to the thing that is binding me , and throws it to me, I catch it neatly of course.
"Let's get out of here" she says, I release myself, finally. I stretch and crack my wrists, out of the corner of my eye I see Penryn shaking like a leaf, so I take a denim jacket from one of our attackers and give it to her, who said angels aren't true gentlemen?.
I pick up her backpack while she wraps up my wings in a filthy blanket and we're in the lobby within a minute. She carefully straps my wings to her pack, with such gentleness that it's almost funny because she's only doing so cause she's under my gaze, it doesn't matter as long as she treats them good.
When I see my sword an unstoppable grin spreads across my face, an aftermath of the great joy I feel when I realize that my faithful companion in all these years has not abandoned me. She's the one thing that has kept me sane despite the complete solitude I've endured all this time. The fact that the girl had to be able to lift her again, doesn't escape me but instead of mulling over that thought, I think that if she gave me my sword during the fight instead of doing the absurd faking-I'm-an-angel trick it would have come to an end much sooner. Silly girl.
"You had my sword all this time?" I still don't get why she put herself in the path of danger when she could just have given me my sword and run.
"It's my sword now" she replies harshly.
"Your sword? You wish" she'll never leave me, much less to be with her, so I tell her
"Do you have any idea how loyal she's been to me over the years?"
"She? You're not one of those people who name their cars and coffee mugs, are you? It's an inanimate object. Get over it."
I ignore her and reach for my sword eager to touch her again, but the girls steps back not wanting to return my sword to me.
"What are you going to do, fight me for her?" I ask her, for it is the only way an angel sword will respect her and accept her as her new owner, granting that this new owner won the fight, and this child beating me, an archangel, is laughable.
"What are you going to do with it?"
My patience is wearing thin, an exasperated sigh escapes my lips "Use it as a crutch, what do you think?"
"I saved your life," she says
Yeah, only to torture me "Questionable."
"Twice."
I give up, too tired to argue "You're not going to give me back my sword, are you?"
She grabs a wheelchair and sticks the sword in the seatback pocket. Well she can carry her, we both know that the moment I decide to take her, I will. Soon.
I guess for now she can be my squire, I like the sound of that, I've always wanted one. Some of the other archangels had the weaker angels serving them. That isn't my style, but the thought of a companion that looked up to me as a mentor and someone who deserved loyalty, has always seduced me.
"I don't think I'll be needing that chair anymore,"
"It's not for you. It's for my sister."
Her sister needed a wheelchair, well the odds of her surviving in the aerie went from very very slim to nonexistent, but still I see Penryn has a determined look on her face, she is willing to throw herself into the impossible mission of rescuing her sister. I keep my thoughts to myself, preferring the unusual silence of this night.
As we walk my feet start to hurt , but it's the cause of that pain what irks me the most, my feet hurt because I should be flying, not walking. The shock of having lost my wings hits me as hard as the first time, I don't think I can get used to this, the sense of loss is so intense it's physical, without wings what am I? not angel, not human; so … well lonely it's an understatement.
My feeling-sorry-for-myself moment doesn't last long though, it's just not who I am.
As I shake off the dark feelings threatening to overcome me, the resolution of doing something about this mutilation of mine grows exponentially. I'll get my wings back on and then rip Beliel's of.f An eye for an eye.
While I'm planning the logistics of my plan I notice Penryn is heading for a small cottage, which must mean our journey is over for today, finally, I'll get to rest. That, I look forward too.
We enter the cottage in utter silence. I sit and remove my boots to my great pleasure. My feet are a freak show all covered with blisters and little wounds due to abrasion. Penryn suddenly hands me something, something weird and skin colored, what is this? Absentmindedly I put it up to my eye, I don't think it's for the eye though … I make a grimace, what is this again? When I look at Penryn ready to ask her for the mysterious object, she's smiling a little, while I get busy being surprised of her capacity to actually smile, she takes the thingy from me and says:
"Here, I'll show you how to use it. Let me see your foot"
Behaving finally, aren't we? Well the foot massaging thing is pretty intimate between us angels; it's kind of a fetish. So I tell her.
"That's a pretty intimate demand in the angel world. It usually takes dinner, some wine, and sparkling conversation for me to give up my feet."
The look of frustration in her faces as she thinks of an answer is comical, but in the end her only response is:
"Whatever, Do you want me to show you how to use this or not?"
I don't get why she sounds so sour, maybe I offended her with my comment… No I don't think so, she's just grumpy. Aiming to aggrieve her no more I stick out my feet as a silent response to her question.
She starts to work on my feet with more gentleness than I expect from her, then she asks
"What's your name?"
Of course, she doesn't know it… I'm used to being well known wherever I go, my reputation usually precedes me.
"Raffe" I tell her my nickname, which I haven't used in ages, instead of my full name, Raphael, the archangel, besides using that name and that title doesn't seem right now that I am…
"Rah-fie" She interrupts ….. repeating slowly my name. "I like the sound of that"
I catch myself being pleased with her little compliment, I suppress a smile, finding this girl somewhat kind is insane; I'm really not used to company.
"Raffe sounds like Raw Feet. Coincidence?" her attempt to joke gets an unwilling smile out of me and her chocolate eyes warm up, making her look very young, no trace of the villain she pretended to be when we met . Looking like that I feel a strange urge to just sit here bantering with her, as I did with my watchers in our spare time, but just then she rubs a particular spot in the sole of my feet that makes me gasp in unexpected pain, waking me up of my reverie. At the same time she speaks:
"So, aren't you going to ask me my name?"
"I already know your name." I say remembering the frantic shouts of her mother "Penryn Young, you open this door right now!"
"That's pretty good. You sound just like her."
"You must have heard the old adage that there's power in knowing someone's true name."
"Is it true?"
"It can be. Especially between species."
"Then why did you just tell me yours?"
I shrug, because I know you can't really hurt me.
"So what do they call you if they don't know your name?"
"The Wrath of God."
She freezes. I must have scared her, which wasn't my intention. I just wanted to tell her the truth, I could squash her in half a second if I wanted, a part of me of expected her to back away or show some of the fear I know I inspire in humans; Instead, she rises, looks me straight in the eye chin up, and says :
"I am not afraid of you, your kind, or your god."
That's the reaction the other part of me expected, pride overcoming the fear we both know she truly feels, I can't help but feel amused because her attitude reminds me of a young soldier's. I've trained enough of them to have observed certain patterns in their behavior and usually, they were wild, brave and proud beyond all the rest, hiding their fears was always their first priority.
"I don't doubt it Penryn" I say, this is the first time I called her by her name so I say it slowly liking the way it sounds, then, she turns around and tosses me the foot-things saying,
"Now you know how to use them. Welcome to my world." Turns around and while she starts going through her pack, she asks:
"Why are you guys here anyway?, I mean, it's obvious that you're not here for a friendly chat, but why do you want to get rid of us? What did we do to deserve extermination?"
If only we knew… Gabriel was a very cryptic messenger, only told us what he thought it must be told and when he died, the purpose of angel's stay in earth died with him, I didn't enquire about any of it because I was already here …
"Beats me" I say, shrugging.
She stares at me, seeming astounded so I give her the best explanation I can.
"Hey, I don't call the shots," I say. "If I was good at marketing, I'd spin you an empty story that sounds profound. But the truth is that we're all just stumbling around in the dark. Sometimes we hit something terrible."
"That's it? It can't be as random as that."
"It's always as random as that."
If I learned one thing that is you only can trust yourself. The messenger supposedly tells the angels God's will, but no one can check that, for God never talks to any other angels, archangels even, so we have to act on the messenger's word with blind faith ( which really isn't my thing ) like a cattle follows its shepherd, if the shepherd fails in his guidance the cattle goes wild.
She takes two plastic recipients and hands me one, as I eye her she opens hers and takes a bite of what's inside, I'm starving so I do the same. Whatever this is, it's dry, crunchy in a bad way and tasteless, but I have not eaten in days, so this is not the moment to be picky about food , before I know it I've eaten all my share and my stomach is far from full.
I notice Penryn is looking at me, for a second she looks doubtful but then she hands me half her share of the food, at first I don't want to take it, It's like charity, and accepting charity doesn't suit me, nor does being pitied. My lack of reaction towards her offer makes her speak:
"Don't you want it?" she asks.
"That depends on why you're giving it to me"
"Sometimes, as we're stumbling along in the dark, we hit something good." Cryptic, but sounds more like companionship than like pity so I take the food.
"Don't think you're getting my share of the chocolate, though" She says.
While she eats the chocolate I feel like I'm watching one of this commercials that show someone eating candy with a look of utter pleasure, honestly the only thing lacking to make the picture exactly the same is the exaggerated moaning, well, thank God she's not doing that.
Looking like that while she ate one would think she was going to eat it all, instead, she stores it in her pack again, seeming like she's saying goodbye to a dear friend, which makes me curious, if she wants it so bad, why doesn't she just eat it?
"Why don't you just eat it? We can eat something else tomorrow." I ask.
"It's for Paige." She's says zipping up the backpack.
Her sister, she refuses to believe that she won't find her; at least that she won't find her alive. That means the impossible rescue plan must be still on, I don't know if she's just too stubborn and proud, or just outright delusional . I'm about to tell her again that she should stop planning a rescue but then I see her leaving food outside. Acting this erratic, the delusional theory is winning points.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"Nothing."
"Why would you leave food outside in the rain?"
"How well can you see in the dark?"
I consider denying I can see in the dark, wondering just how much I should tell her about angels and their abilities, but now that she saw for herself it's pointless. "Almost as well as I can see in the day." This way she also can't tell me she didn't leave food outside, I press my point, "So, why would you leave valuable food outside?"
"In case my mother is out there."
"Wouldn't she just come in?"
"Maybe. Maybe not."
I nod, a woman who tells her daughter to keep the promises she makes to her personal demons is not a model of normal behavior.
"Why don't you bring the food in, and I'll tell you if she's nearby." I say.
"And how would you know if she's nearby?"
"I'll hear her," Giving her more Intel I guess... Damn it. "Assuming the rain doesn't get too loud."
"How good is your hearing?" She says, definitely collecting information.
"What?"
"Ha ha," She says dryly. "Knowing this stuff could make a big difference in my chances of rescuing my sister."
"You don't even know where she is, or if she's alive." It's about time she accepts this.
"But I know where you are, and I know you'll be headed back to the other angels, even if it's only to get revenge."
"Ah, is that how it is? Since you couldn't get the information out of me when I was weak and helpless, your big plan now is to follow me back to the nest of vipers to rescue your sister? You know that's about as well-thought out as your plan to scare off those men by pretending to be an angel."
"A girl's gotta improvise as the situation changes."
"The situation has changed beyond your control. You'll only get yourself killed if you follow this path, so take my advice and run the other way."
"You don't understand. This isn't about making logical, optimal decisions. It's not like I have a choice. Paige is just a helpless little girl. She's my sister. The only thing up for discussion is how I'll rescue her, not whether or not I'll try."
Passionate speech, now it's clear that she will attempt the suicide mission, even knowing she'll probably die in the process…"I wonder which will get you killed faster—your loyalty or your stubbornness?" I say.
"Neither, if you'll help me."
"And why would I do that?"
"I saved your life. Twice. You owe me. In some cultures, you'd be my slave for life."
"Granted, you did drag me out of the street while I was injured. And normally, that may qualify as saving my life, but since your intent was to kidnap me for interrogation, I don't think that qualifies. And if you're referring to your botched 'rescue' attempt during my fight with those men, I'd have to remind you that if you hadn't slammed my back into giant nails sticking out of the wall, then chained me to a cart, I'd never have been in that position in the first place." I say this with an skeptical tone, but just because I don't want her to believe I think I owe her anything, I do know she saved my life, and her feeble attempt of torture was nothing compared to the true torture I suffered before …I rather change the subject. "I can't believe those idiots almost bought that you were an angel." I add, chuckling at the memory.
"They didn't."
"Only because you screwed up. I almost burst out laughing when I saw you."
"It would have been pretty funny if our lives hadn't been at stake."
"So you know you could have been killed?" I figured she meant to provide some distraction for me to finish the task, thinking she wasn't going to get hurt, but if she knew she was risking her life and she did so to help me… I am thankful, but I won't ever admit it to her.
"So could you."
She gets up, retrieves the food and sits down silently, the silence flows between us for some minutes, before she speaks again. "What do they want with the kids?"
The plural catches my attention; I figured her sister was kidnapped as retaliation against her for having helped me, not that angels are now taking human kids…
"There's been more than one taken?"
"I've seen the street gangs take them. I figured they wouldn't want Paige because of her legs. But now, I wonder if they're selling them to the angels."
It's only a theory then, what the street gangs wants with the kids probably has nothing to do with angels, and also, the idea of angels negotiating with humans instead of simply taking what they wanted was off somehow.
"I don't know what they're doing with the kids. Your sister is the first one I've heard of".
The rain pounds on the windows and the wind scrapes a branch on the glass.
"Why were the other angels attacking you?"
"It's impolite to ask the victim of violence what they did to be attacked."
"You know what I mean."
I shrug really hoping she hadn't asked that, Beliel the demon who took my wings was after me for reasons unknown, and after weeks following me around telling me to join him in Hell he finally took action… just remembering the wounds in my back start hurting twice as much. Still I answer.
"Angels are violent creatures."
"So I noticed. I used to think they were all sweet and kind."
"Why would you think that? Even in your Bible, we're harbingers of doom, willing and able to destroy entire cities. Just because we sometimes warned one or two of you beforehand doesn't make us altruistic."
And when I thought we were about to engage in either a discussion about angel nature, or some more information-digging, she hastily says: "You need me.".
Ha! I start laughing at the ridiculous thought, I'm an archangel for God's sake, there's no way I need a teeny tiny daughter of men but the origin of this absurd idea intrigues me, still laughing I say: "How so?"
"You need to get back to your buddies to see if you can get your wings sewn back on. I saw it in your face when I mentioned it back at the office. You think it might be possible. But to get there, you have to walk. You've never traveled on the ground before, have you? You need a guide; someone who can find food and water, safe shelter."
"You call this food?" It was disgusting, if I hadn't been starving to death I would never had eaten that stuff, another reminder of my new status, repelled by the thought of having to sustain myself in horrible food I throw the cup into the trash.
"See? You would have passed that by. We have all kinds of stuff that you'd never guess was food. Besides, you need someone who'll take the suspicion off you. No one would suspect you as an angel if you're traveling with a human. Take me with you. I'll help you get home if you'll help me find my sister."
"So you want me to lead a Trojan Horse to the aerie?"
"Hardly. I'm not out to save the world, just my sister. That's more than enough responsibility for me. Besides, what are you worried about? Little ol' me being a threat to angelkind?"
"What if she's not there?"
"Then I'll no longer be your problem."
It wasn't as simple as that, we both knew that, needing some time to think about everything going on I say:
"Let's get some sleep while it's still dark out."
"That's not a no, right?"
"It's not a yes, either. Now let me sleep."
"And that's another thing, it's easier to keep a watch at night when there are two of us."
"But it's easier to sleep when there's just one."
Finally she leaves me alone with my thoughts. Eyes closed I think about what my next step should be, I can either take Penryn's offer or leave her, some part inside me resist that thought though, I know I can handle solitude, but… in that moment I hear Penryn's footsteps coming back to the living room, what on earth does she want now?
Apparently just to sleep in the couch across me. I listen the cadence of her breathing and when it's quiet and regular, knowing she's asleep, I open my eyes.
Penryn lays curled up with a thin blanket, she looks relaxed, but then it's like she starts to worry about something in her sleep , a little crease appearing between her eyebrows.
Memories of the past days flow through my mind like a slideshow, allowing me to create an image of Penryn, she is brave, caring, stubborn, unintentionally funny… I discover myself liking a human, and oh boy, is it a shock.
The moment is disrupted by the distinct sound of hellions getting closer, I hear them approach like cockroaches , there are three to five of them. Thank god because I'm in no shape to kill off a large group, and I have to kill them all because if they see Penryn and associate her with me they'll hunt her down as they do with me. That I can't allow. The girl doesn't deserve it.
While they enter through the window in the empty bedroom I swing my sword, slicing one of them in half, and hurting other one with the inertia of the blow. Seeing that, the remaining ones try to get away, but I don't let them. With two more thrusts they are already dead.
Trembling for the pain I slowly return to the living room, Penryn is writhing in her couch, visibly disturbed by some nightmare and looking so very cold. It occurs to me that having my body heat I could help her, but the thought makes me uneasy even while it pops in my mind, being that close to a daughter of man... I don't know, it just feels wrong somehow.
In that exact moment Penryn starts whining as if she was trying to unconsciously coax me into getting her warm, starting to regret my decision as I do it, I take out the cushions on Penryn's back and slide in their place, gently putting my arms around her.
At first it's just like holding ice pressed to my body, but as she warms, the sensation changes, her body is relaxing as she presses herself even tighter against me and I start to relax too not knowing why I feel so comfortable I just disconnect, holding her I let go of the pain and the stress and for a moment there, I feel peace. I know this moment is a moment of weakness, that mustn't be repeated, but at the same time I know I want to repeat it already.
That's when I decide that I won't leave, or make her go, that I want this.
Sooooo, I'm sorry for the lateness! I've been crazy busy! I'll try to update sooner.
Hope you've enjoyed the chapter.
:)