CHAPTER 5

Kenny shook his head, incredulous. He couldn't believe that eight year old he met at Hershel's farm was the same kid that was staying with him now. The old Clementine would chastise others for cussing and scream or freeze up at the sight of danger. This Clementine took things into her own hands and looked danger straight in the face. He wondered if there was anything specific that made her change so much. Although the man realized anything could cause a transition like that in times like today.

AJ had began crying lightly. Kenny comforted him and followed after Clementine. He felt a strong sense of fatigue resulting from the blood loss, and moving around wasn't easy going. The movement of his legs up the stairs felt very forced and awkward.

"Do you need help getting up here?" Clementine's voice called from upstairs.

Kenny sighed, already slightly annoyed by the special treatment. He isn't letting a little pain hold him back, and he doesn't need to be taken care of. "No, I'm fine." he replied roughly.

"Okaaaaay." he heard her respond, her voice thick with disbelief.

After a few moments, Kenny made it to the top of the stairs. He felt winded from the short distance. He took a second to catch his breath at the top and then looked up to see Clementine. Her big eyes were thick with suspicion as she glared him down.

"You seem pretty tired for being okay." she pointed out.

"Aw, didn't ya hear? Me and Alvie were just doin' some exercises before coming up. We gotta stay sharp, you know?" he joked. He just wanted Clementine to stop giving him the death glare. He could handle everything just fine.

The girl folded her arms, unamused. "Come on, Kenny. There's a bedroom with two beds. We can set up camp in there." She tried to gauge his response to that. He seemed to have no qualms with her plan, so she continued. "We can eat first. Then you can sleep while I take first watch." At that last part, the man's eye flashed.

"What do you mean, "first watch"? I will take first...and uh...second watch. As in, only I take watch."

"What?!" Clementine asked, perturbed. "You know I can handle it."

"It ain't about that. I know you can. The thing is, it's dangerous, and I don't need you getting hurt, alright? I am takin' care of you, not the other way around!" he exclaimed.

Clementine hated when Kenny got like this. He always wanted things his way, even if he was being irrational. It was just like when Kenny refused to let Sarita carry that heavy box. He gets so aggravated when he can't protect those he cares about. Clementine doesn't hate his intentions, but she does admit to herself that his carry through could use a little work. Protecting people is one thing, but trying to control them, even if it is for their safety, is another.

However, Clementine could spot the gleam of determination in his good eye. It isn't worth it, she thought to herself. The girl was too exhausted and too ravenous to start an argument.

"Fine," she said. "I'm just worried, okay? You need to be careful."

"Got it, captain," he replied wryly. "You ready? Bet you can't wait to sit down to a meal."

The corners of Clementine's lips curved upwards into a smile. Some time to relax combined with a light meal would surely lower the tension. She slowly led Kenny towards the room, trying her best to not seem condescending. She offered assistance once, but the man insisted he was fine so she dropped it. Kenny seemed to be in a talkative mood, and the girl knew she had to take advantage of the fact. The man needs space at times, but she enjoyed talking to him whenever time allowed it.

The three emerged from the hallway into a rather large bedroom. The room contained two twin beds covered with flannel sheets that made Clementine feel cozy just looking at them. She couldn't recall the last time she had slept in a real bed. Her eyes drifted around the bedroom, taking in all of the luxuries she had long been without. There was a mahogany bookshelf brimming with novels along with two large wooden dressers, a small toychest, and a decently sized work-desk. Of course the room had it's share of broken and thrown about items, but compared to the downstairs, it was a neat freak's haven.

The girl looked up at Kenny, confused by his neutral expression. He didn't seem very excited to be presented with such a nice place to stay.

"Don't you just love this place?" she asked excitedly.

Clementine stared at him intently, waiting for him to respond. After a long moment, he spoke. "Yeah, it's great Clem. It just reminds me of the ski lodge I was at. Sarita, Walter, and Matthew...I coulda done somethin' to help them. They didn't have to die."

Clementine wished she could've taken her question back. In the moment, she had forgotten all about the ski lodge Kenny stayed at, and with that forgot all the bad memories that he associated with the place.

"I'm...sorry." The words came out meekly. Clementine's eyes burned into the floor. She never got to really know any of those people. Still, they were aquainted enough for the girl to realize they didn't deserve to go out in the ways they did. Nobody deserved a brutal death. Her thoughts were interrupted by a hand placed firmly on her shoulder.

"Hey." Kenny said reassuringly. "I'll never get 'em back. I...I wish I could've died in their place, to be honest. I shouldn't be here right now. I shoulda died with Kat and Duck. And I do wish you would've stayed at Wellington. But...well, part of me is glad you stuck with me, Clem. I'm real glad I have you." Kenny confessed.

The man's confession filled her with happiness, but at the same time made her heart drop. He still wants to die, she realized. Clementine worried that he was just going through the motions, only staying alive for her and the baby. Now, she couldn't pretend that Kenny was fine. He just flat out told her he wants to die, just like he did in the tent. She knew that he had lost everything, just like she herself did. Unlike the girl, however, Kenny had lost his will to live. It seemed to the girl that he had lost that a long time ago. There was no way she could've left him at Wellington, knowing the state he was in. Yeah, he'd want to stay alive for the two kids. However, the temptation to let go would've been too great considering his chances to get into Wellington were low.

On the other hand, she was beginning to feel that Kenny really cared for her personally. When they met, the girl was overjoyed. However, the comments from Jane about Kenny did strike a chord in the girl. Does Kenny only want me to be a puppet he can control? Does he only want me for selfish reasons? Now, Clementine felt she could finally answer 'no' to those questions. His behavior at the gates of Wellington and his words to her now challenged her fears. He didn't just want a child he could control and keep to protect any semblance of his sanity. He just wanted her to be safe and happy, which meant he had to care.

Clementine felt like crying, but she held it in. Instead, a quivering smile found its way onto her face as she looked up at Kenny.

"I'm glad I have you too, Kenny. We-we'll make it, okay?"

Kenny took a deep breath. "I sure hope so, darlin'. And uh...sorry for putting all of this on you. You don't need to here shit like that."

Clementine watched Kenny turn away from her, over towards the supply bags. He grabbed a can and gestured over to her. She made her way towards the man, no longer sure of what to say. What could be said after all of that?

As Kenny struggled with the can, Clementine found herself wondering what would happen next. At the moment, they had food and a defendable shelter. However, there were so many threats lurking in every corner. What happens when supplies run out? How bad is Kenny's wound? Is this place really abandoned? She shrugged her thoughts away as Kenny handed her a now opened can of beans. Together the two ate, speaking to one another occasionally. The conversation stayed light and irrelevant, and Clementine was thankful for that. Although both appeared calm, their minds were racing and their hearts were thudding anxiously. No matter what they do, nothing can end the chaos that consumes their lives.