But hark! My college essays are completely finished, and by all means, we must celebrate! Let us sing, friends! As a present to you, an elusive chapter!
Hope your 2015 was filled with smiles and laughter, and I hope your 2016—the year I graduate!—will be all the better. Thank you for all the reviews, favorites, and follows! They truly mean the world, and I promise now that things have settled down a bit, I'll be writing much faster.
Adieu, and Happy New Year!
~Alyssa
o(OXO)o
Zelda pulled her legs to her chest, curling up and resting her head on her knees.
She had messed up royally.
The last few nights had been incredible. Magical. Instead of wandering aimlessly across the roofs of Castletown, she spent her midnight hours talking. She heard his stories, and told some of her own. She smiled. She laughed. She found that her days passed too slowly, and her every free thought was in anticipation for her time with Link.
She resisted a groan.
Link. He was Link now, not the Hero. He was so much more than that. Saving Hyrule had nothing to do with the insightful, considerate, absolutely droll personality that he possessed. He didn't start and begin with a sword; anything but. He was an explorer. He was a musician. He was her friend. They had come to know each other.
Except he didn't know her at all. He only knew Sheik.
What scared her was that that was good enough for her.
Zelda was the Princess, the responsible one, the lady with a thousand burdens and limitations and expectations. There was a way she needed to act around everyone, at all times, and she could tell that Link thought her cold. The door to a deeper relationship had closed the first night he arrived. He had already built his opinion of Zelda in his head, and it would take much to change it.
With Sheik, however, she could be the person she was without boundaries or fear. She didn't have to be ladylike; she could do whatever she pleased and no one could tell her otherwise. When she was Sheik, she only belonged to herself. Link saw that, and Link knew.
It felt good to know the he enjoyed her company when she was the most unfiltered version of herself. It meant that he truly did care for her.
But it was dangerous. One slip, and she would lose his trust forever. She was wise enough to understand that what she was doing could very possibly lead to disaster. Somehow, though, she was stupid enough not to care. If this is what it took to see Link as he was, this is what she would do.
She hopped up from her bed, checking the lock on her door before crossing the room to her balcony. There, she raised her arms over her head and let her magic wash over her as she brought them down, shifting her nightgown to the suit that had become her second skin.
Adjusting her mask once, she opened up the balcony doors and launched herself into the night.
The trip to his bedroom was easy as breathing by now. She knew the guard rotation by heart, and sidling the outer walls of the east wing to get to his window became as familiar to her feet as the rooftops of Castletown. She made it across the castle in record time, and when she slid into his room, he was waiting for her.
He stood from his seat by the fire, cerulean eyes lighting up at the sight of her. "Good of you to finally come, my lady." he drawled, bowing low. "Here I thought you wouldn't show!"
Sheik laughed, her pensive mood leaving her at once as she dropped from the sill and curtsied as well as she could without skirts. "And stand you up? I would never!"
Over the last few nights, they had shifted from tentative strangers to an easy familiarity. She never would have guessed from the way he treated Zelda, but the Hero was a very friendly, very likable man. His smiles were effortless. His laughter was infectious. When he spoke to her, it was like there was no one else in the world he would rather be with. He made her feel warm and safe and cared for in a way that no one else had.
It made it painful to leave when the sun began to rise, and even more so when she had to wake up in the morning to spend her days with him cold and distant again.
She had known it would be like this when she decided to continue the arrangement, though. It was a price she was willing to pay. If she saw him happy sometimes, nights were enough.
He smiled at her remark, retaking his seat. "How was your day?"
She leapt over the back of the couch to take her place beside him, sitting cross-legged. "Long."
"For me as well," he sighed. "The Princess and I went on a parade through the city; it was awful."
Their official debut as a couple to the commonfolk had gone as well as it could have. Though it hadn't been her first choice in announcement—parades were long and tiresome and public—Dorian had reminded her how long it had been since the last one, and she understood the necessity of it all.
He did, too, and they had both played their parts well. From the moment they boarded the open carriage that took them through the streets, there were smiles and waving and laughter all around. He had even kissed her hand once or twice, much of the delight to the crowds. The people of Castletown adored seeing their Hero matched with their Princess; for them, it was like seeing a storybook come alive.
She supposed that from a distance, it was all rather romantic. To the casual observer it must seem just like a fairytale.
A quiet part of her wondered what all the people of Hyrule would think if they saw the Hero walk away with her without so much of a word as soon as they were safely within the castle walls.
"I thought the parade was wonderful," she said. "As it happens, I was there."
"Really?" he asked. "I thought your kind didn't make a habit out of coming out in the day."
The Hero had clearly grown up on the same silly stories that most children in Hyrule had. Last night he had wondered aloud if she would be burnt by the sun.
She couldn't suppress her laughter. "I'm a Sheikah, not a bat."
"Then why is it you only come during the night?"
"Because I have important business to attend to during the day," she said mysteriously.
He raised a brow. "Like watching the parade?"
"A necessary evil, but part of my job nonetheless."
He nodded. "I see."
They carried on in this way for some time. Their banter was effortless, as it always was. They had exceptionally compatible humors. When Sheik was dry, Link was willing to play along. When Link was witty, Sheik could never stop herself from laughing. The atmosphere became warm with mutual respect and comfort.
It was too easy to forget that she was wearing a mask, sometimes.
Somewhere over the course of the night he ended up on the floor, his head lying beside her legs on the couch as he looked up at the ceiling. He had been tossing an apple from the bowl on his table as they talked, barely needing to cast a glance in its direction to catch it again.
Throw, catch. Throw, catch. Throw, catch.
"No opinion, then?"
She started, having become so transfixed on the fruit that she'd missed what he had said previously. "Sorry?"
"I asked what you thought of the Princess."
Her entire body went stiff. In all their hours of conversation, Link had never once brought up Zelda.
It was a blessing that she wore a mask, because her face would have given up the entire charade right then had it not been covered. She swallowed hard, tripping over her words in her haste to answer.
"I…she's the Princess," she said quickly. "I don't know her."
He waved an exasperated hand. "Yes, yes, but what's your impression of her? You've seen her at enough of those events to have some grasp."
"I…she…" Her heart hammered in her chest. "She's very pretty."
"Yes," Link snorted. "And if that was everything I wanted in a wife, I would be the happiest man alive."
There was an edge to his voice that rubbed her the wrong way.
"Are you saying you don't want to marry her?"
"No," he said quickly, too quickly. "You just…you didn't answer my question."
She looked down, meaning to consider his face, but his eyes were locked on the ground.
"I think she's tired," she said earnestly, resting a gloved hand on his shoulder. "I think, however you feel about the situation, she feels the same way."
Understand, she begged, the unspoken plea hovering in the air between them. It's me. Understand.
But Link only stood, running a tired hand through his hair as he walked towards his bed. "It's getting late." His voice was all gravel. "I should probably get to bed."
The rejection in his tone stung. She got up as well, taking a backwards step towards the window. "Am I coming back tomorrow?"
He glanced back at her, the expression on his face absurd. "Of course," he asked, "Why wouldn't you?"
She swallowed hard, all the words she wanted to say lingering on her tongue.
o(OXO)o
Without meaning to, they fell into a routine.
It was a revolving cycle, and soon the monotony was enough that her days became tolerable as her mind became numb. They were in love in public. Cordial with family. Distant when alone. As the days passed and the pair of them fell into the same production of lies over and over, she started to feel a sense of cooperation between them. Though it was nothing compared to the ease in which they talked when she was Sheik, she could tell that he was beginning to trust Zelda. They were working together for the same goal, and for a time, all was well.
Or so she thought.
Three or so weeks had passed without conflict when she finally saw him snap.
She was in the middle of regurgitating a particularly nauseating story about the day they had met to a group of nobles over lunch when he abruptly stood, his hands balling into fists. "Excuse me," he said gruffly, crossing to exit the room with the upmost haste.
The door closed behind him just a bit louder than it should have.
Zelda laughed—albeit awkwardly—and looked to her guests with a simpering smile.
"The weather hasn't been agreeing with him as of late," she said, and as luck would have it, that was all that was needed to excuse his behavior. One of the noblewomen in attendance shared a similar anecdote about her husband, and all was smoothed over.
Inside, she was fuming. Though not partners in the way they professed, they were still partners in this façade. If they were anything, they were a team. She couldn't believe that he would drop his part so obviously, and in front of important company, no less! Who did he think he was?
She would be hypocritical, however, if she chased after him now. She would have to survive through the rest of this lunch on her own.
An hour later, once the plates were cleared and the tea was served, she excused herself. It was easy to do—after so long a time of contributing nothing to the conversation, she was easily forgotten amongst the gossip flung back and forth.
She stalked down the hallway and into the east wing like a person possessed. The knock on his door was sharp.
"Yes?" his voice from inside called, and her hands balled into fists.
"Please let me in, dearest." The hall was deserted, and she could let the vitriol seep into her tone.
For a long minute, there was silence, and she wondered if he would just ignore her. A moment later, though, the door flung open, and she was met with an obviously agitated Hero.
She strode inside and waited for him to close the door behind him before whirling around, throwing her hands out in frustration.
"Would you like to explain to me what the Hell that was?" she demanded, and he crossed his arms.
"I beg your pardon?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her language.
"You won't get it," she snapped. "Answer my question. Why in the name of the Goddesses would you just walk out?"
His posture became very defensive, and the warm eyes she had come to know grew icy. "Would you have rather me punched a hole through the wall in the attendance of five members of the gentry?" he countered, "Because that's what would have happened if I didn't get out of there!"
She didn't care what made him upset. What mattered was taking care of it in a civilized and appropriate manner. He wasn't some teenager whose emotions raged out of control! He was a grown man, soon to be a Prince of Hyrule, and he needed to act like it! "You have to get your temper under control!"
"My temper is under control!"
"Really?" she laughed, the sound caustic. "It doesn't seem like it to me!"
"Just the fact that I'm standing in here speaking to you instead of throwing a fit in the foyer says otherwise. I felt myself losing it, and removed myself from the situation before I could! Now, are you finished chastising me, mother?"
"Mother?" She was livid now. "You acted a fool! It was mortifying, and now you're blaming me for telling you so? There was absolutely no reason for you to behave like a five year old!"
How could he act this way? After everything they'd agreed on, everything they had done for the past month? She didn't understand.
"You don't understand!" His words echoed her thoughts, and his hands fisted in his hair. "You've made up these stories, and you tell them over and over and I can't take it! It's a lie! The entirety of our life together, every last moment that anyone has heard about, is the exact opposite of true!"
"What would you rather me do?" she demanded, "Tell of your charming exploits in avoiding me as much as possible?"
"Better that than what you've been doing!"
"Then we might as well call off this wedding now! The whole point of it is to satisfy the people. If they don'thear about how happy we are and it doesn't distract them, you might as well pack up your things and go back to your village, because I am certainly not going to waste the rest of my life chasing after your sullen, disagreeable person!"
He had nothing to say to that. She could hear his teeth gnashing together as he clenched his jaw, and she was satisfied in the fact that he knew she was right.
"Think on it," she ordered. "This is only the most binding commitment either of us will make in our lives. If you truly hate what this has become as much as you say, perhaps it isn't worth doing."
She was hurt; there was no denying it. Though she was more than capable of separating her relationship with him as Sheik and with him and Zelda, she had thought that their relationship as fiancés had progressed to the point of mutual understanding at the very least.
But it seemed as though she'd been deluding herself. Any comradery between Link and Zelda was wishful thinking on her part. He only tolerated her for the sake of company; whatever progress she'd thought they were making was clearly nonexistent.
The look of absolute loathing that she was faced with now—one that she hadn't seen in so long!—made her want to die.
She swallowed hard, storming over to the door and lingering with her hand on the knob for just a moment, waiting for him to contradict the hateful words she'd put into his mouth. To say that he had simply had a moment of weakness, and that he was sorry for his outburst, and that he would try harder. That he wanted to make this work more than anything. That that he didn't hate this, that he didn't hate her.
He didn't say a word.
He never gave the acceptance that she craved to Zelda. That was something reserved for Sheik.
It wasn't good enough. She couldn't do it anymore.
She slammed the door hard behind her, throwing propriety straight to Hell as she flew through the halls. She swallowed a sob, trying her hardest to pretend like the tears on her cheeks weren't those of betrayal.
But she couldn't even convince herself.
-chants-
More angst! More angst! More angst!
Leave a word, if you would~