For the sake of your sanity (and for the sake of ours), we have mercifully skipped 10 of the 17 hours of driving, fighting, hitting, and god knows what else.
Comment shout-out
Guest: Aw, thank you, i hope you do. Yeah, Fanny means well, but sometimes it gets tough.
Enjoy : )
Chapter 2
10 Hours Later
The Drilovskys were on their way to the beach, their summer vacation spot for the next few days. Fanny was driving and Patton sitting in the passenger beside her.
Behind them sat their children in 3 rows. In the front sat PJ and Scarlet, the middle Ginger, Elliott, and Morgan, and in the back, with a seat in-between them, sat Kate and Duncan.
For the most part, it was a rare quiet moment through the past 10 hours. However, that silence ended as a bee flew through Morgan's window.
"A BEE FLEW THROUGH THE WINDOW!" Elliott suddenly screamed and started to cower in his seat.
"Ah, sweet, what kind?", Morgan asked in interest as the bee flew around her head.
"NOT NOW MORGAN, KILL IT PJ,", Elliott exclaimed in fright to his older brother.
"Why should I? Bees don't bother me. Except the Jerry Seinfeld kind", PJ told him as he read a magazine.
Elliott leaned back to PJ and shouted into his older siblings' ears, "JUST KILL IT!"
"Alright!", PJ agreed and looked up find the bee and pushed his hand forward to smack it. Instead he just smacked Ginger as the bee flew off.
"Hey!", Ginger shouted as she rubbed the side of her head. "What the crud was that for?!"
"Yeah. He wasn't bothering anyone,", Morgan agreed as PJ scowled and went back to reading.
"SPEAK FOR YOURSELF CRAZY NATURE LADY", Elliott argued, momentarily peeking out through his hat and asked PJ, "Did you kill it?"
"Trust me. Something's about to be killed all right", Ginger remarked as she rolled up her sweater sleeve, but was interrupted by Fanny shouting from the front.
"Kids, now is not the time to argue,"
"Yeah, go to sleep or something,", Patton concurred.
"How am I supposed to sleep with her BRINGING BUGS INTO THE CAR?!", Elliott asked as he saw the bee continue to fly around before ducking back into his hoodie and hat.
"I didn't bring the bee, the bee came to me.", Morgan said as she looked around, the bee appearing to have vanished.
"Well Ellie you should've thought better than to sit next to the living bug magnet.", Duncan shouted to Elliott from the back.
"Shut up duncan!", Elliott shouted back to his younger brother.
"Consider yourself lucky, Ellie", Kate said from behind. "It's not exactly easy riding sitting next to the living stink magnet."
"What's that supposed to mean?", Duncan asked as he turned angrily to face Kate.
"It means I can't sleep with a huge gust of your stench straight in my face!", Kate said louder and in a mocking tone.
"I'm not the one who smells!", Duncan argued.
"Uh, dude, yeah ya are", Kate said. "Try using some deodorant bro,"
"Yeah, cause you're really one to talk, ms. I-haven't-bathed-in-23-days"
"Hey! That's not true!", Kate shouted indignantly.
"Mom! Are we there yet?", PJ asked as he put in headphones.
"No!", Fanny answered. "We still have 7 more hours to go. 7...long...LONG hours"
"Don't worry Fanny," Patton reassured her. "We already went through 10 hours of this, we can survive 7 more. We can do this"
"AAAH! THE BEE! IT'S BACK!", the 2 parents heard their son scream. Fanny slouched a little and groaned.
"We can do this", Patton repeated to his wife before quietly adding to himself, "I hope"
"IT'S COMING TO ME! GET IT AWAY! PJ, SAVE ME!", Elliott shouted to his older brother as the bee started to buzz around once more. PJ, who was now wearing headphones, just ignored Elliott and continued reading.
"Oh please Dunc", Kate continued. "You couldn't recognize a good smell if it was right under your nose. Oh wait, that's because there never is one"
What do you think I am, blind? Of COURSE I can tell a good smell if I noticed one", Duncan said as Kate's laughed.
"Dang, Dunc. You got wrecked!", she said. Duncan looked confused for a moment before he realized what he just said.
"Hey!", he shouted to his laughing sister. Instead of trying to fight her, he just pouted and looked away, back towards his Rainbow Monkey, which now had a seamed-up arm.
"THE BEE, THE BEE", Elliott shouted as if to remind his siblings of the bee that was still flying around.
"Relax, it just wants a place to chill," Morgan stated happily as the bee landed on her raccoon hat.
"It wants a VICTIM TO KILL"
"That's a tad overdramatic"
"PJ! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAVE ME!"
However Elliott's screams were on faint ears as PJ just continued listening to music through headphones.
"GINGER! SAVE ME!", Elliott shouted in desperation. Ginger thought for a moment, until she smiled and looked over at Elliott with a devilish grin.
"Alright, but you have to play a little game with me first,"
"Anything", Elliott pleaded.
"It's called A Punch for a Word. Basically, anytime somebody says something, i get to punch you."
Elliott gulped as he heard the arguing of PJ, Kate, and Duncan, who clearly weren't going to seize anytime soon. He looked up wide-eyed to Ginger, who was cracking her knuckles and grabbed
They hear all the other siblings talking to each other as Ginger starts to crack her knuckles and asked, "Isn't this such a great game?"
"OW! OW! OW!", Elliott said as Ginger kept punching him in the stomach. "OK, OK! JUST GET RID OF THE BEE!"
"No, don't! It just wants a place to stay and rest", Morgan shouted in protest.
"Well it can't rest here! OW! HEY!"
"Sorry, game rules", Ginger said before she continued punching.
"JUST KILL IT"
"Ginger's not killing it! Nobody is!", Morgan stated as the bee began to fly towards the front.
"OUCH OW OUCH!"
As Elliott kept getting hit, there was suddenly a loud smack heard in the car. Morgan looked up ahead near Scarlet's seat to find on the window a smashed insect.
"There it's dead now shut the heck up!", Scarlet said to Elliott as she wiped off her hands.
"Scarlet, it was a harmless insect,", Morgan complained.
"Yeah well listening to Elliot scream wasn't harmless to my EARS", Scarlet shouted back to Morgan.
"OW! OW! WOULD YOU STOP THAT? The bees dead!"
"Nope. I haven't killed a bee yet, meaning you still owe me", Ginger said as she still continued punching.
"Mom! Are we there now?", Kate asked in annoyance.
"No Kate! It has only been 5 minutes"
"But the bees already dead! OW!", Elliott said to Ginger. "That's not fair! OW!"
"Neither is life, Ellie",
"It's Elliott! OW!"
"Hey Dad?", Scarlet asked to Patton up front.
"What Scarlet?"
"I gotta pee"
"We JUST passed a rest stop!", Fanny shouted in annoyance.
"GINGER STOP PUNCHING ME"
"Find a bee for me to kill and I will,", Ginger reasoned.
"OW!"
"I tried to say something but it's hard to say anything past Elliott's screaming!", Scarlet said to Fanny.
"OW! OW!"
"Can't you guys please do something together?", Patton asked to his children.
PJ looked up from his magazine to see Scarlet, who had started to breathe impatiently and crossed her legs. He then smiled evilly and took his headphones off from his ears.
"I have an idea!", he said as he smiled.
"I'm out", Morgan said as she leaned on the window. "It's one of PJ's ideas, so those are never a good thing"
"Ahem", PJ cleared his throat and began to sing very loudly, and very off-key. "100 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 100 BOTTLES OF BEER"
"Do you have to sing that?", Fanny asked as she winced.
"Depends", PJ answered. He turned to Scarlet beside him. "Scarlet, do you still have to pee?"
"Yes", she answered.
"Then yes. I do", PJ decided and continued singing. "TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND"
"Stop.. SHUT UP!", Scarlet shouted to her brother.
"OW!"
"99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 99 BOTTLES OF BEER"
"Are we there NOW?", Kate asked.
"OW! OW! STOP!"
"No bee, no break kid"
"MORGAN! SAVE ME!"
"And let you guys potentially hurt another harmless insect? I don't think so."
"7 more hours,", Patton tiredly said out loud.
"I don't think I can do it,", Fanny admitted to Patton.
"Oh please, you've gone through like 100 hours of labor, you can totally do this,", Patton reassured in a tone of amazement.
"That was less painful", Fanny groaned.
"TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND", PJ continued to sing as he leaned into Scarlet's ear
"98 SLOSHING WATERY FLOWING SPLASHING COMPLETELY FILLED TO THE TOP BRIM BOTTLES OF-"
"Alright, now you're just asking for it!", Scarlet interrupted angrily.
"It's PJ. Isn't he always?", Ginger commented.
"-EXTREMELY WATERY QUENCHY LOQUIDY BEEER ON THE WALL!"
"PJ! Do you want me to pee in this car?", Scarlet said as she leaned into PJ's face.
"You wouldn't dare", PJ told her mockingly.
"Try me"
"SCARLET IF YOU PEE IN THIS CAR I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE"
"Ooh, mom you tempt me-", Scarlet said smirking. "but these are my favorite pair of jeans,"
"Ok then. 98 MAXIMUM FILLED NEARLY BURSTING OUT THE TOP BOTTLES OF BEER ON-
"You know what?" Scarlet said as she glared at PJ. "Maybe i should just pee all over YOU instead!", she stated as she pointed to her brother beside her.
"I think I'll take my chances on getting kicked out"
"Aww. You'd really do that all for me?"
"ESPECIALLY for you"
As the 2 oldest fought in the front, Ginger was still punching Elliott behind them.
"GINGER IF YOU PUNCH ME AGAIN I'LL-", Elliott said in-between punches.
"YOU'LL WHAT?", Ginger said smirking.
"YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT I'LL DO"
"What COULD you possibly do?", Ginger said in a tempting voice.
"To be honest...," Elliott said slowly "with all that stomach punching and the shaky car ride…", he started to turn a little green, "I don't really feel so good"
Ginger was confused for a moment but turned wide-eyed as Elliott started to queasily shake. "YOU'RE NOT!"
"Could this possibly get any worse?", Patton asked in the front.
BRAAUGH!
Patton and Fanny suddenly heard a loud wrenching sound and Ginger scream.
"EWWW! MOM! Elliott just puked on me!"
Fanny then glared slowly over to Patton and said, through clenched teeth, "You had to ask".
"Ew that smells worse than Duncan!", Kate said as she held her nose.
"Oh, don't you even start Kate!"
"What are you gonna do about it, stink-boy?"
In response, the 2 started to get into a slap fight as they insulted each other. Ginger stared in disgust at her shirt, which was now covered by a large yellowish glob.
"Elliot that's gross,", Morgan said as she leaned towards the window.
"It's Ginger's fault!", he argued and pointed to Ginger.
"He agreed to play the game!", Ginger said defensively.
"You said you were gonna kill the bee", Elliott glared at her.
"What? I'm not allowed to have a little fun first?"
"The bee's been dead for 10 minutes,", Elliott continued.
"So I have fun before and after,", Ginger said.
"You want fun?", PJ interjected "You could join me in singing about the other 97 bottles of-"
"Forget it, PJ!", Ginger said, silencing him.
"Dad, I still have to pee!", scarlet shouted, now visibly fidgeting in her seat.
"97 BOTTLES OF FLOWING DRIPPING WATER-"
"PJ. SHUT. UP", Scarlet shouted.
"Hey Scarlet", PJ stopped singing to talk. "If you have to go so bad, maybe you could go in one of the 3 empty beer bottles on the ground. Well, soon to be 4 since there's now 96 BOTTLES OF RUSHING AND GUSHING-"
"DAD!"
"Ow!", Ginger suddenly yelped. "Something bit me!"
"Cool!", Morgan said as she looked towards Ginger. "Ginger, the vomit on you starting to attract a group of flying ants"
"FLYING ANTS?!", Elliott suddenly shrieked.
"Oh, boy...", Fanny grumbled.
"Dad! I'm gonna pee if we don't stop like right now", Scarlet shouted as she rocked back and forth.
"No you're not!", Ginger told her older sister. "We have enough nasty smells in here besides the vomit and Duncan!"
"I USE DEODORANT", Duncan shouted, the first time he talked since his and Kate's argument.
"not enough obviously", Kate commented.
"You take that back!", Duncan turned to angrily face Kate.
"Morgan! Get these bugs away!", Elliott screamed as he swatted ants.
"No, they're cute", Morgan said as the ants snuggled into her scarf.
"I DON'T CARE! I WANT THEM OUT!"
"But Ellie you're the one who brought them here in the first place", Morgan said.
"The pukes starting to soak into me, MORGAN GET THE BUGS OFF OF ME!", Ginger shouted in irritation.
"Gladly!", Elliott said as he swatted the ants around the 2 of them.
"NO!"
"Come on, they're harmless!"
"Duncan's smell isn't!", Kate said snickering.
"KATE SHUT UP", Duncan shouted.
"Could you kids PLEASE calm down?!", Patton asked in annoyance.
"Yeah", PJ agreed. "Dad's right, this is getting ridiculous."
Patton sat there, momentarily shocked at what his oldest son had said. "Uh..thanks PJ"
"You're welcome", PJ said to Patton before directing his attention back to his siblings. "And think about it. Maybe we can see stuff to occupy ourselves"
He started leaning in closer to Scarlet as he continued.
"Like maybe, geysers, and rivers, and waterfalls pushing down thousands upon thousands of gallons of water"
"I should've known it was too good to be true", Patton grumbled as he facepalmed.
"PJ SHUT UP!"
"Whooshing water, drip drip drip,", PJ continued teasing.
"That's the sound of the shower that we wish Duncan would take,", Kate joked.
"Kate back off!", Duncan said as he pushed Kate and turned away.
"JUST GET THE BUGS AWAY!"
"Then you shouldn't have puked. You ruined my favorite shirt!", Ginger shouted to Elliott.
"A rushing stream, trickling down, splashing into a huge filled lake", PJ continued.
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!", Scarlet shouted as he took her hands out, in a motion to strangle her brother.
"Why'd you have to puke on me?", Ginger asked angrily.
"IT'S YOUR FAULT I PUKED", Elliott shouted to Ginger.
"You should've puked on morgan, she would've loved to be covered in bugs", Ginger said as she gestured to Morgan, who was now smiling as ants surrounded her.
"I'm sorry I can't control where I VOMIT!"
"Hey! look out the window! A rushing river!"
"Besides if you hadn't kept punching me-"
"It's your fault for agreeing to play the game"
"How was i supposed to know you were gonna do that?!"
"Because I'm Ginger."
"She's right, you should've known,"
"I didn't ask for your opinion Duncan!"
"Just sayin'"
"Hey look Scarlet! We're gonna get on a bridge! Look at it! Surrounded by water EVERYWHERE"
"DAAAD!"
"KIDS STOP"
"Woah, there's no need to yell,"
"Yeah seriously, chill out,"
"We're just kids, you don't gotta yell,"
"Then you kids shut up and cut it out or I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND AND WE WILL HEAD STRAIGHT HOME!"
"Y-Yes mom"
There was a moment of awkward silence before Patton spoke up.
"Hey Fanny, can you stop?"
"Why", she asked as she slowly looked to her husband.
"Because now I have to pee", he shyly answered.
"PATTON!"
"THANK GOD, THANK YOU DAD!", Scarlet said as she leaned forward to hug him by the neck.
"Next time we're flying, I don't care how expensive the tickets are!"
"Wait", Patton asked. "I thought we were banned from the airlines?"
"There are many other airlines we can get banned from,", Ginger commented.
Yeah", PJ agreed. "Remember when we took that flight to Ireland?"
"Of course I remember that. PJ and Ginger knocked that lady right out of her seat", Fanny answered.
"She shouldn't have been sitting there" Ginger said defensively.
"And you 2 shouldn't have tried to toss around a football", Fanny continued to Ginger.
"We were bored", PJ said.
"It's not our fault-", Ginger agreed. "We're kids we need to be entertained".
"Listen to music or something", Fanny told them. "Don't throw a football on a PLANE!"
"And there she goes again with the yelling,", Ginger said.
"AND WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"
While Ginger and Fanny, continued to argue, in the back Duncan sat, silently hugging his Rainbow Monkey, his eyes closed. He opened one of his eyes and saw Kate starting to drift off beside her. He was about to close his eye again until he saw a ant fly around and land on Kate's arm. He let go of the Rainbow Monkey, leaned over to Kate and suddenly smacked Kate's arm, squishing the ant and jolting Kate up in her seat.
"OW!", Kate shouted as she rubbed her arm and turned to Duncan. "You hit me!"
"You had a bug on you", Duncan told her.
"There's still bugs here?! MORGAN!", Elliott jolted and leaned into Morgan, sending the bugs everywhere around the car.
"You liar", Kate said. She then smacked Duncan's arm in anger. He rubbed his arm in pain, and smacked her back. It wasn't too long before the 2 youngest got engaged in a slap war.
"IS THE BUG GONE?!", Elliott asked in fright as he cowered with his eyes closed.
"I don't know why you're so scared," Morgan told him as he clung onto her scarf. "Bugs are harmless".
"Yeah if you consider poisonous demons from the underworld 'harmless'"
"It's just a bug, you scaredy cat!", Morgan told him.
Elliott opened his eyes and looked at his younger sister, still clinging onto her scarf and told her furiously. "I am not a scaredy cat!"
"Are too", she said happily.
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are we almost at a rest stop?"
"Patton, seriously?!", Fanny said to her husband.
"I've gotta pee!", he said with his own legs crossed as well.
PJ looked over at his fidgeting sister and father. He then took out 2 sodas that were from lunch earlier and dumped the remaining contents out of the window, leaving empty styrofoam cups.
"Here dad, Scarlet", he said. "You guys could go in these"
"Eww, gross!", Scarlet leaned away from PJ in disgust. "I'm not going in that!"
"Of course you can, it's a cup", PJ said obliviously. "I mean if it was a bottle, I could understand since you're a girl and all", PJ was suddenly interrupted as he felt Scarlet's hand slap across his face. "OW!"
"You're disgusting!", she said.
"If you had to pee THAT bad you'd do it in the cup,"
"No PJ, that's gross!"
"Actually, Ginger's shirt and Duncan's body odor is gross,"
Duncan stopped fighting with Kate for a minute to face his older brother. "Hey! Do we have to go back to that?"
"Hey, it's not my fault. Just suck it up and face the music, bro"
Duncan was about to talk before he got hit in the face again, almost knocking off his glasses. "OW!"
"Gotcha!", Kate said in victory before Duncan looked back to her and the 2 resumed fighting.
"Are we there yet?", Scarlet asked as she fidgeted faster.
"Yep", Fanny said. "Go ahead and get out,"
Scarlet looked out the window and only saw a bunch of trees zooming by. "But we're still moving,"
"So are we there?"
"Um... no".
"Exactly! Now stop asking"
"ARE NOT! ARE NOT! ARE NOT!", Elliott shouted.
"ARE TOO INFINITY!", Morgan said as she blew him a raspberry.
"JUST GET RID OF THE STUPID BUGS ALREADY!"
"Stop hitting me!", Duncan said as Kate held him a noogie.
"You started it", Kate said defiantly.
"I was trying to be a good little brother"
"C'mon sis. You can pee and we'll all just not look. We're not here to judge, but I'm probably gonna do it anyway", Ginger told Scarlet while smirking.
"Shut up Ginger!"
"FANNY I HAVE TO PEE", Patton shouted in desperation.
"Patton, the next rest stop is fifteen miles away,"
"DRIVE FASTER, WOMAN!"
He sat there for a minute before reaching his arm back to where'd Scarlet and PJ were.
"PJ, pass me one of those cups!"
"DON'T YOU DARE, PATTON!", Fanny shouted in a mix of anger and disgust.
"FINE THEN PULL OVER ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND I'LL PEE THERE", he said pointing to the roadside beside Fanny's side.
"Patton just HOLD it!", she told him.
"I'VE BEEN HOLDING IT FOR AN HOUR, MOM", Scarlet shouted leaning in front. "DRIVE FASTER!"
Eventually this led to everyone but Fanny screaming at each other at the top of their lungs.
"JUST GET RID OF THE BUG!"
"YOUR JUST BEING A WIMP SCARLET!"
"NOT UNTIL YOU APOLOGIZE!"
"I'M GONNA EXPLODE, MOM!"
"GREAT! NOW THIS SHIRT'S RUINED!"
"LET GO OF ME!"
"I'M NOT APOLOGIZING TO A BUG!"
"I MEAN, I'VE DONE IT BEFORE!"
"YEAH, SO HAVE I"
"GET MY FACE OUT OF YOUR SMELLY ARMPIT!"
"FINE! THEN I'LL BRING IN A BUNCH OF MORE BUGS!"
"FANNY! CAN'T YOU DRIVE ANY FASTER?!"
"NO! I TRIED TO BE NICE, BUT I'M TIRED OF IT"
"YOU 2 ARE DISGUSTING!"
"NOO! I DON'T WANT ANYMORE BUGS!"
"NICE?! YOU PUNCHED ME!"
"THERE WAS A BUG ON YOUR ARM!"
"YOU LIAR"
"MOM!"
"FANNY!"
And Fanny Drilovsky, who had managed to keep quiet during the discord, finally snapped.
"ENOUGH!"
She roughly hit the brakes as he turned off to the roadside as the car screeched to a halt, harshly forcing the kids forward from their seats.
She then angrily turned around to her children. The 7 kids all suddenly stopped fighting and quickly sat back down in their children as they looked down, avoiding eye contact with their mother. She then started to shout them quick commands.
"DUNCAN! KATE! STOP FIGHTING!"
"But he started it!", Kate said as she pointed over to Duncan.
"I don't care who started it. I'LL FINISH IT! ELLIOT! Apologize!"
"Sorry Morgan, and icky bug"
"MORGAN! Get those bugs out of here!
"Guys! Go home", and at Morgan's command, all the bugs that were left flew out the window.
"GINGER! PJ! STOP ANNOYING EVERYBODY!"
"I don't know if that's possible mom", Ginger said as she looked up. However, what she found was the deadliest glare she had ever seen from anybody in her life.
"Then again, I'm sure I can find a way", Ginger said quickly as she looked back down.
"I thought so.", Fanny turned to face her oldest and her husband.
SCARLET! PATTON! IT IS 15 MILES TO THE REST STOP! YOU 2 EITHER SIT THERE AND HOLD IT OR GET OUT AND WALK THE 10 HOURS HOME!"
"Yes mom" "Yes dear", Scarlet and Patton simultaneously replied.
Good. Now, I want complete silence for the next 10 minutes so everyone's gonna shut up or so help me I will ground you all for a month! UNDERSTAND?!"
Patton and the kids all nodded vigorously as they kept their mouths shut.
"Good", and with that all said, Fanny turned back to the front and resumed driving as the family sat there in silence.
Throughout the next 10 minutes all Fanny could thinking was "whoever said it was better to travel that to arrive should've been kicked out into the street and shot"
And all that Patton could think was "Man, if i wasn't potentially in trouble, i would SO kiss her right now"
I feel for Elliott here. I hate bees too.
Also, flying ants DO exist. I did not make them up.
Hope you liked this chapter and leave your thoughts. Reviews are always appreciated : )