a/n: I own nothing. [= darn
We drove in silence, our hands entwined, occasionally glancing in each others' direction smiling. It felt like I was in high school all over again, except this time, the guy actually liked me back. It was that awkward stage of first dates, and polite kisses…without the politeness involved. We'd skipped right to the nitty gritty on that one. I wondered if that would make a difference in the long run. Wait; did I want a long run? No, I didn't. Did I? Instantly my heart started to beat erratically, and I was having trouble breathing.
Calm down, Bella, don't make a scene. That would be embarrassing, especially considering I didn't plan on telling him what had caused the panic to rise in the first place. I took slow, steady breaths, and after a few minutes I was fine again. I grew up in a…difficult home. My parents argued constantly, mostly about living in Forks. Renee couldn't stand it, and eventually, she couldn't stand Charlie either, because he didn't want to leave. So, she took me and off we went. From the time I was five years old, I'd made a solemn vow to never, ever fall in love, and never get married. Thus the reason I enjoyed the escort business so much. It allowed me the freedom to "date", without the attachment issues.
Yes, I knew I was fooling myself about the date part, and maybe I was condemning my self to a life of loneliness, but honestly, I'd never thought much about it. Until now anyway. Damn it, Bella, why do you have to realize this shit when you're on your way to another great lay! Damn! I sighed heavily, and turned in my seat to better see the Greek god before me. "Okay, lame question. What are we doing?" I asked, hoping my voice didn't betray my nervousness. He chuckled, and took a glance at me.
"Didn't we cover this already? I'm taking you somewhere…it's a surprise." He stated, still with that stupid smirk. Damn it, I was going to have to spell it out for him wasn't I. "No, I mean…uh, us. This…what are we doing?" I asked again, just as lamely. Crud I so sucked at this. I looked out the window so he wouldn't see my blush.
"Oh…that. We're really having this conversation now?" he asked, slightly astonished. I snorted, and replied, "Yeah…I guess we are."
"Okay then. Here goes nothing. I like you, a lot, and I thought we were dating." He explained, stealing glances at me every few seconds. Okay, that clarified absolutely nothing for me. "But, we're not…like…serious or anything right?" I mumbled quietly. I had to do this. I always did this. I never know when to leave well enough alone. This was our what? Second official date and we've known each other all of what…a week tops? Jeez Bella!
"Is this your way of telling me you have another guy on the side?" he joked, though his face clearly showed he was serious. I laughed out loud. I couldn't help it. It was so cute that he was jealous over…well, nothing. "No, no other guy on the side. I just…was curious where this was headed." I replied quickly trying to catch my breath. He chuckled and shook his head.
"Well, right now, we're going to have a date. And how about we just go from there, okay?" He responded, still smiling. Jerk. I hate when guys get that stupid look on their face. You know the one, the 'ha I'm so sexy she wants me so bad' look. Ugh, it's so…stupid. I nodded curtly, and continued to stare out the window at the other passing cars. Why did God make me this way? I hated that I did this. It made everything more awkward than it originally was. At least for me it did. Stupid brain.
Ten minutes later, we were parked and walking towards the park. A stupid thought occurred to me, but me being me, I had to say it. "Wait, are you taking me here on a Tuesday afternoon so you can kill me?" I half joked. Hey, there were three people here. Us, and the bum on the bench who was probably passed out still, and it was noon. Meaning everyone was eating lunch, either at the office or within a half mile radius of their office. The place was deserted, and if he was going to kill me I at least deserved to know. Right? Exactly.
It took him exactly two minutes and fifty three seconds to catch his breath. Only to take one very deep breath, and start laughing all over again. All the while, holding my hand, continuing to walk towards the very deserted park. I stopped walking, forcing him to stop as well. I was not going any farther until I had my answer. Damn! I left my purse in the car! No pepper spray to help me now!
"Bella, not five minutes ago you asked where this relationship was headed, and now you're asking me if I'm going to kill you. Seriously? What goes on in that pretty little head of yours? If I was going to kill you, I would not have gone out in public with you, or came to your apartment in broad daylight. Ya know…the whole no witness thing is kind of essential to a killer." He replied sarcastically, holding his other hand up, which contained a basket. I rolled my eyes and kept walking alongside him. I didn't know what was in there. It could have been an axe, or a gun…or something.
He stopped in the middle of a clearing, with fresh wildflowers sprouting sporadically. It was beautiful. The air was crisp, a slight chill there naturally. I loved it. He laid a blanket out, and motioned me to sit. I obliged, sitting cross legged, with a smile. Okay fine, I didn't really think he was going to kill me…for more than like a second. I didn't even mean to blurt it out really, but I have no filter. It's a curse and a blessing all at the same time. He sat next to me, and pulled out a couple sandwiches, strawberries, two pieces of chocolate cake, and two bottles of water. It was cute and well thought out apparently.
"So, how long have you been…helping people?" he asked after a few moments of silence. I swallowed my bite, and took a swig of water. I hated lying to him, but I just wasn't ready to tell him the truth yet. I didn't know if he'd be around tomorrow ya know?
"Since I was a freshman in college. It started out as just a way to help support myself throughout my college years, but after…I just liked it too much to quit. Not to mention the money's great." I explained quickly. That part wasn't a lie at least. "What about you? Did you always want to be a doctor?" I asked in an attempt to change focus. He nodded vigorously. "Oh yeah, ever since I was little. I guess it sort of helped that my dad was a doctor as well. Kind of a family thing I suppose. I just never envisioned myself doing anything else. My mom used to tell me all the time how when I was two and three I'd walk around asking people to let me check their vitals." He replied, laughing fondly at old memories I suppose.
We sat in companionable silence for awhile longer, finishing our food, enjoying the sounds of nature. I was hoping he was done questioning my career choice, but again, I was wrong. "Do you think you'll always do what you do now? Or will you get tired of it?" He asked, staring up into the sky. I followed suit, trying my best to stay calm about this. I couldn't give anything away, or he'd bust me out for sure.
"Honestly, I'm not sure. I mean, I like it well enough for now. Maybe in a few years, when I'm thirty or so I won't like it so much. But, I'm only twenty-two, so that's still a while yet." I joked shrugging my shoulders. "Besides, I'm not entirely sure I'm finished with college. I only got my associate's degree, I may want to go back." I continued.
"What was your major?" He asked, obviously wanting to keep the flow of conversation going. That was fine by me, as long as we ventured away from my line of work. "Art. I love art, I paint when I have the time… which isn't that often anymore. I minored in music." I explained, glancing over at him. He smiled, and looked away. We stayed that way for long time, until the sun began to fade and it was too cold to sit comfortably in just a sweatshirt. He drove me home, unable to join me, and promised to call soon. I had hoped he'd come back and stay anyway, but sadly he did not.