Chapter 7
After a minute or so, Phillip and Mulan heard the clanging of a bell, "F-twang! F-twang!" "That's the dinner bell," Mulan explained, and taking Phillip's hand, helped him pull himself up to his feet. The two made their way to camp's mess hall, which was a wide circular area of grass, with a fire in the middle and some logs for seats. Mulan led Philip to the chef, who was a large, burly man in his early forties. He seemed to have a constant disgruntled expression on his face, and he was a man of few words.
"I'm here to report for kitchen duty, sir," Phillip addressed him. "Eat first, duty later," the chef replied, before handing Phillip an unappetizing bowl of rice porridge with meat and vegetables. He made a face. Mulan smiled and said, "Get used to it, it's what we're having every night for dinner." At her explanation, Phillip frowned and sighed.
After having to wash the dishes for two whole hours, Phillip's day went even further downhill. Mulan's friends, Yao, Ling, and Chien-Po kidnapped Phillip from the camp and took him to a nearby forest, where he was tied to a tree. As he struggled to set himself free from the ropes, Phillip snapped, "Put me down! I haven't done anything!" "Nothing yet, anyways," Yao warned. Phillip suddenly realized what was happening. "You think I'm trying to take advantage of Mulan?!" he shouted, bewildered and revolted simultaneously at the thought, "I would never do such a thing!". "Phillip," Chien-Po calmly explained, "Mulan is like a sister to us. We just want to make sure that you have good intentions if you are going to court her."
"Don't worry pretty boy," Ling jokingly assured, "We go through this ritual with all guys who are interested in Mulan." "But I'm not interested in her!" Phillip protested, afraid that they would beat him if he admitted his attraction to her. Yao snorted at his response. "Your body language says otherwise. I could tell you liked her from the moment you met her at camp." Ling continued, "Although you're the first person we've ever had to give the talk to, seeing as how we think you could be a potentially good match for her." Phillip was gobsmacked. They were okay with him courting Mulan? Confused, Phillip decided to accept their unconventional blessing. "Thank you," he said.
"Sorry about that," Chein-Po apologized as he untied the rope, "But ever since the camp found out that Mulan was a woman, many of the single men began to court her. But Mulan was never interested in any of them." "The other troops began to call her horrible names," Ling continued, "Like bitch and lesbian, but those troops were simple folk, not fit to marry a daughter of a general." Phillip felt crushed at what Mulan had to go through, and his blood boiled for vengeance against the men who had insulted her. "Don't worry," Yao said, "We gave those curs a taste of their own medicine, and we also told Shang about the incidents. He was furious, and said that any man caught harassing Mulan would be publicly flogged. He also allowed Mulan to pitch her tent at the end of the field, but luckily, that is where she had originally pitched it." Taking several deep breaths at this news, Phillip forced himself to calm down. He comforted himself with the thought that Shang might be a pain in the ass, but at least he was a honorable pain in the ass.
Ling finished the story. "So to keep away any ill-willed men, we decided we would have talks with them. But after the camps had heard of the power our fists of fury, no one decided to court Mulan. Of course it helps that Mulan also became really good at kicking ass." "That's certainly true, Phillip thought. "Look guys," he said, "I'm touched that you are giving me your blessing to court Mulan. I think it shows that you trust me to behave around her. But I wish to give you my solemn oath. I, Prince Phillip of the Kingdom of Prussia, do solemnly swear to adhere to the utmost degree of chivalry and respect when courting Fa Mulan, and that if she rejects my advances, I will drop the matter altogether." After his speech, Phillip noticed that Mulan's friends smiled at him. "Then we solemnly swear that we make sure you hold to your oath." Yao said. And with that, Phillip joined the group of men as friend instead of a stranger, and the men jovially went back to camp.