What Should Have Been

Ketti: I'm sorry if this is a bit late, I'm trying to keep to a weekly schedule. I hope y'all can dig it and forgive me if I slack off a day or two. Doing my best to finish all the rewriting before my small buffer runs out.

Thank Jubalii for my writing.

Muffled voices sounded in her ears, accompanied with an oddly familiar floating sensation. Murring, squinching her eyes shut tighter, she burrowed deeper into her pillow. Faintly, so much so it barely touched her retreating mind, she felt the sun playing footsie with the horizon and teasing the daylit world with its lingering presence. Too… early…

…

Head lolling, she felt herself sinking into something exceedingly pliant and warm. Mmm, it felt nice. Sprawling like a cat to spread herself across the plush mattress, she purred and drifted off deeper into the pleasant numbness in her brain. So… sleepy…

…

"Miss? Excuse, me, Miss Vampire, are you awake yet? Your Master told me to bring you this." A timid voice crept into her senses, calling her back from the childish dreams of sunlight and laughter. Opening her eyes grudgingly she stared into startled jade irises that quickly jerked back and hid beneath a curtain of black bangs. Seras shook her head, and yawned, stretching indolently with arms above her head.

Swinging her legs out of bed to dangle over the edge, she took this moment to scrutinize her visitor curiously; a young girl, surely not yet in her teens, dressed in a maid's uniform was staring at the wall with a package held delicately in her arms. When the girl turned to face her after a moment Seras caught sight of the black leather collar around her throat and felt disturbed. "Would you put this on, please, Miss Vampire? Your Master insisted." There was a hint of fear in those green eyes that sent a chill down her spine; she didn't want to endanger the girl! So she nodded and gazed curiously at the provocative looking blue dress, eyebrows disappearing into her blonde fringe in incredulity. He couldn't possibly be serious..!

"…" Seras opened and closed her mouth, staring at the ensemble with a brilliant red flush of horror spreading across her cheeks, "Are there any extra pieces to it he forgot?" She asked hopefully,

"Erm… no ma'am. He said if you protested to remind you that your uniform was more revealing." The girl sounded uncomfortable herself now as she watched the fledgling with wide eyes.

"Yeah, but that was a uniform…" Seras grumbled as she picked the dress up by the corner and grimaced when she realized it was strapless.

"Does Miss Vampire need help? These old style clothes are tricky, you know." The girl offered, and Seras nodded helplessly. A small team of older maids bustled into the room then and there was so much movement of rustling skirts, clothes being yanked off and on her that she felt dizzy. Brushes were yanked through her hair and she yelped in protest, which seemed to prompt an attack with make up of all things! When it was all said and done and she was presented with a mirror, Seras was forced to grudgingly admit she looked nice; the dress matched the color of her eyes and teased the tops of her knees, and the bodice was actually a stylish looking black corset with white laces and a flower she didn't recognize, though she wished the neckline were a bit higher… despite the size of her bust, the little virgin wasn't comfortable showing that much breast unless she was at the pool. The make up lined her eyes in black and rouged her cheeks – did she really need it with how badly she was blushing?! – thankfully leaving her lips alone. The pigtails were rather off putting, all of her hair was scooped out of her face and she felt a little too exposed. Then she noticed it; her feet were bare. "Uhm… what about my shoes?"

The maids exchanged glances and scooted the girl forward as they retreated to other duties. The child fidgeted a moment before she answered, "None of the … fledglings in this place wear shoes, Miss Vampire." She spoke, hesitating on the word 'fledgling' which left Seras feeling suspicious of what she stopped herself from saying. "It is the court etiquette of Lord Bram's castle." She added with a nervous twitch of her lips.

Seras blinked. "Court?"

The girl gave her a startled look, "You mean your Master didn't… It is not my place to say, Miss Vampire. Please, if you'll follow me?"

"Do I have any choice?" She muttered to herself under her breath, fidgeting with the folds of her skirt.

The girl led her through twisting hallways and down multiple stairs until they entered what looked like a grand dining hall with no widows and countless banners hanging from the high ceiling. The presence of innumerable vampires was rather overwhelming, the taste of bloodwine in the air choking, and she caught sight of dozens of collared maids, with serving trays gliding along the edges of the massive tables.

Amongst the twisting powers and smells, her Master stood out and drew her unerringly towards him, unknowingly leaving the girl behind her as she followed the pull on her senses. She could feel the weight of many stares and had to bite her lip to keep from hunching her shoulders and shrinking in on herself like a timid child.

At last, what felt like an eternity later, she made it to the table at the end of the hall where her Master and a few others sat. Glancing at them nervously, her gaze flicked back to her Sire to see an expectant look on his face. When all she did was stand there dumbly, he reached out and backhanded her casually to the floor. She yelped and crumpled like a tag doll, bringing a hand up to her stinging cheek to stare at him with wide eyes full of shock and betrayal. What did she do?!

'Be more observant, Childe. If you see what you did wrong I won't punish you further in front of an audience.' His voice hissed between her ears, cold and unapologetic for what she perceived to be an unprovoked attack.

With a grimace she glanced through the table legs to scrutinize her surroundings further. It took her a moment, but she soon realized that the weaker feeling ones were kneeling at the feet of the older and stronger vampires. Sooo… Scrunching her face up in annoyance she affected a carefully blank face as she pulled herself upright and adjusted her skirt to cover more of her legs as she sat at his feet with her own tucked beneath her butt. A hand rested on her head in silent approval and it took a lot to not lash out and bite him like she so dearly wanted to.

'Fiesty. I like that in you, Police Girl, but now is not the right time.'

"She learns quickly, for one so young. I commend you on your taste in beauty, Draculae." A voice spoke from her Master's other side and she leaned forward a bit to peer over his lap at the speaker. "Yes," another voice answered drolly, "It took my last fledgling five slaps and at least ten kicks before she stopped her blubbering and sat still." Seras could tell she wouldn't like the second speaker already. Then she blinked, wait, what? Draculae? As in … she wanted to slap herself then for not connecting the dots sooner. In her defense, she'd never read the bloody book.

Alucard chuckled and took a sip from his goblet, saying nothing.

Seras began to fidget uncomfortably, twiddling her thumbs and drawing patterns on her legs and twisting her skirt up between her fingers. God she was bored, and all the others at the table were talking about things that happened over a century ago. What was the point of her being there if she was just going to be ignored?

"Master?" She dared to ask, unable to keep still and silent any longer.

The hand she'd nearly forgotten atop her head shot down to the back of her neck to haul her up into his lap, the tight grip cut off her air supply and halted her yelp of protest before it could leave her lips. Stiff as a board she flinched when his hand neared her face, anticipating violence. Instead it merely covered her mouth like a gag as he stared down at her with wicked amusement, "Fledglings are to be seen and not heard, Police Girl. If you cannot accomplish such a simple feat, how will you ever get stronger?" He lectured, and she wanted to squirm. She was sitting side saddle across his legs so that anyone who looked could get an eyeful of exactly how well endowed the red coated male's blood servant was. "If you must occupy yourself, drink this." He continued, lifting his goblet up to her lips. She started to reach for it, but his free hand slapped hers away and she glared at him mulishly before parting her lips to allow him to pour a sip of bloodwine into her mouth. She felt ridiculous, being fed like an infant.

The conversation resumed around them and his free hand settled possessively across her hip as he continued to tip infinitesimal servings of the heady liquid betwixt her lips. Her gaze wandered curiously along the table's other occupants with the vantage of her higher position above the floor. There were quite a few female vampires, but she noticed an abundance of males with more than one fledgling or wife or whatever they were … harems perhaps. Pigs. Only those seated in chairs were actively speaking. Elitists.

'Such harsh judgments for one so young.' Her Master's voice teased, 'Most of the creatures in this hall are past their first century, and raised in the old ways.' He continued, apparently able to hold multiple conversations at once, what a neat trick.

'Master, why aren't there proper vampires in England?'

'There are, Police Girl, they're just smart enough to not feed indiscriminately like the FREAKS or the undisciplined fledglings.'

'…Oh.'

Mulling this new information over carefully in her mind, she pondered what her life as a vampire was going to be like in the days ahead. At Hellsing it had been more like her job as a police officer, although the monsters she took down were more literal. Here… she really had no ideas.

'You will soon enough, Seras.' Her Master crooned even as he took away the goblet and drained the rest of its contents himself.

How soon is soon, though? She grumbled to herself even as she felt her thoughts getting more hazy. Maybe she drank a bit too much… Resting her head woozily on her Sire's shoulder she closed her eyes for just a moment.

Seras woke to find herself curled up like a cat on her Master's lap with his hand running through her now unbound hair. The pair were seated – and she used the term loosely for herself – in an oversized arm chair at the edge of what looked to be a stage. Seras blinked blearily as colors flashed before her eyes; pretty dancers with an almost olive complexion and almond shaped eyes above their face veils. They wore translucent clothing that reminded her of Princess Jasmine from Aladdin, and they danced with long sheer scarves attached to wrist bangles with bells at their ankles. This performance made her wonder where the hell they were. Last she remembered was a mention of Italy…

The lead female – at least Seras assumed that's who she was – sashayed her way forward to a pole near their end of the stage and abruptly took a running leap at the rod, swinging herself around it multiple times while her skirt wound itself tighter and tighter until she laid on the floor in what looked like an uncomfortable position with her legs tied upright by the twisted fabric. Then the green eyed woman winked at Seras amidst the round of polite applause and the blonde felt a flush creep up her cheeks at the suggestive gleam in those eyes. Her Master chuckled in her ear, sending shivers down her spine, and she fidgeted. The dancer went so far as to blow her a kiss before unwinding herself by crawling back up the pole in the reverse direction she'd spun down it and balancing elegantly atop the narrow point whilst another girl Seras hadn't noticed stood opposite her. They leapt at each other and Seras cringed, expecting an impact that never came. Instead they sailed just over and under each other to switch places, performing the same trick from earlier. The new girl, a brunette with copper eyes lay on her back with her arms above her head, the hands dangling just shy of touching the pair in the chair. Seras scooched back closer to her Sire's chest when she saw that same perverse light glow in the dancer's eyes. Alucard put a possessive hand on her hip so casually that she barely noticed, half hypnotized by the swirls of red and gold in the woman's gaze.

The dancer winked and reached her hands out to squeeze the fledgling's generous breasts, but her wrists were caught the instant her fingertips grazed the material of the fledgling's dress by a snarling Master vampire. "I. Don't. Share." With a jerk of his hands he tore the offending limbs from the suddenly terrified female in a shower of blood – that got all over Seras – and threw them to the floor in disgust. "Never touch what is mine." He growled, wrapping his arms back around his bloody fledgling as though nothing had happened.

Seras blinked. Then she blinked again.

The shell shock wore off moments later and she shrieked, struggling to free herself from her Master's lap. "What is wrong with you?! You don't tear someone's hands off for nothing!" She shouted at him in the sudden silence of the performance hall, pushing violently against his chest to lever herself away from him. Oh god, she was covered in blood.

"Stop your struggling!" He snapped at her, baring his fangs in a show of displeasure, she shivered in fear but managed to get her legs up from under her to push against him for more leverage. He backhanded her and she crumpled to the floor, landing in the pool of blood surrounding the severed hands. "I will forgive your impudence because you are so young," he growled, standing and bending at the waist to fist her hair and drag her painfully to her feet, "But I will not be so lenient a second time, fledgling."

With those words he turned and dragged her from the room, and she saw the others watching them with mildly interested looks on their faces, as though this were an everyday occurrence. Yelping at a particularly harsh tug, fearing he would scalp her at this rate, she reached her hands up to wrap around his wrist in an attempt to lessen the pressure on her skull. "Master!"

"Silence, Police Girl." He shot back, storming through the hallways and scattering servants in his wake; she saw them cowering against the walls to keep out of his path. At last they arrived in a white tiled room and he threw her into a wall, she shrieked as the impact broke her ankle, twisting her foot around to a sickening angle. Curling in on herself pathetically, she cringed as she heard his boots tap the tile by her head, expecting another blow. Instead, a shower of cool water poured from the ceiling, washing the blood from her skin in trickles of pink. She peeked her eyes open cautiously to see him kneeling next to her, examining her mangled foot, while his clothes got progressively wetter and his hair clung to her fast just like hers.

"So troublesome and fragile." He sighed, shaking his head as he reached out and quick as a flash, snapped her foot back into the proper alignment. She screamed and jerked herself backwards, hitting her head on the wall with a dull thud. Shivering and biting back the whimpers so hard her blood teeth sunk into her lower lip, she tucked her knees to her chest and buried her face between them, wrapping her arms protectively about herself like a child.

He grunted and she heard movement, thinking he might leave, rather hoping he would, actually. She felt raw and hyper sensitized to his presence just then; one minute he was normal, almost human, the next he was tearing someone's limbs off, or punishing her for some unintended slight, or, or, or… It was all too much. She longed for the quiet times when he mostly ignored her at Hellsing.

The curtain of water abruptly parted around her as he stood over her, and she almost looked up, but was determined to keep her defensive position in case of further assaults. Rather than harming her, however, she felt something cool drizzling over her scalp and his fingers began to massage the strands. A bit of foam drifted down her nose and she wriggled it, wiping the suds from her face with the back of her hand. Why was he washing her hair?

A glance at her arm answered her; the bubbles were tinted pink, he was getting the blood out. She blinked. Her Master and his mercurial moods…

Relaxing just slightly as he continued silently grooming her, she closed her eyes and let her head loll with the gentle ministrations, shivering pleasantly when the now warm water washed over her and swept the shampoo away. This continued for a few minutes until he deemed the filmy residue gone and blocked the falling droplets once more, and she smelled something vaguely fruity as she heard a click of a new bottle opening. Lulled further by the floral aroma, she slumped against her knees and drifted into a haze of half awareness.

She stirred when the shower was turned off, and further when he hauled her up by the armpits to prop her on a seat. When he tore her soggy clothes off she shrieked and jerked back, only to fall into the large towel held open for just that reaction. She was bundled up swiftly and a flush crept from her cheeks to the tops of her breasts. "Master…" She mumbled, ducking her head in embarrassment.

She could hear the smirk in his voice as he scooped her up as though she weighed nothing at all, and purred in her ear, "Yes, Police Girl?"

Being so close to his chest she noticed his clothes were completely dry. How the hell did he do that? "Mmnn.." She mumbled, changing her mind about asking him why he was doing this.

"Because I can, fledgling. Being my servant is not all discipline and lessons." He answered her thoughts, carrying her down another series of hallways. "The life of a vampire is a glorious thing, Police Girl. You will learn to appreciate it." He murmured as they entered a room she recognized as the one she woke up in earlier that night.

He placed her on the bed and even went so far as to tuck her in with the covers hiked up to her chin, a rather wicked smirk twisting his lips.

"…Master?"

"Mm?" He hummed, brows arching.

"How long are we staying?" She glanced away from him, a queer feeling in her stomach. She didn't like this place much.

"We leave on the next train, Police Girl, this was merely an introduction to the old bloods social norm. As a member of my bloodline you will be expected to follow them. For now, at least."

The last part sent a chill down her spine at the implications in his tone. What was he planning? Did she want to know?

"You will see soon enough, Police Girl. Now go to sleep."

Sleep? Sleep sounded glorious. Sleep was a reprieve from the insanity that her life had become these past few days… or weeks… or however long it's been.

"G'Night, Master." She mumbled into her pillow as she turned on her side, hugging the plush cushion to herself like a teddy bear.

She got no reply, and felt vaguely hurt by it for some absurd reason.

Why should I even care?

I don't know anymore.