Chapter 28

Jason rarely worried about Johnny.

Even when his best friend drowned himself in aged scotch and cheap beer, he didn't worry because he knew that if Johnny was given a choice, he'd make the right one. Despite the fight he'd put up to go into rehab, Johnny had ultimately made the best choicedone what was best, and Jason knew it was Lulu that encouraged him.

This was why sitting beside Johnny at the bar and watching his friend slowly drown himself worried Jason. It was like going back in time to the angry, lost man that O'Brien used to be, and he'd honestly hoped thought they were past that. Without Lulu there was very little will left in his friend, and he Jason had no idea how he to'd hold him together.

"I should have known," he slurred, tossing back a shot and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Those fuckers hated me, but her mother – that fucking bitch – was so nice the past few weeks that Lulu thought they gave in."

"They waited for her to come back," he Jason guessed, sipping his beer.

"Yeah," he confirmed, rocking back and forth on his stool, a shot in hand. "They made her feel so guilty., and , you know, I know I was a fuck up when I met them, but I changed. I stopped drinking. I busted my ass for the business, but they are nothing but a bunch of stuck up fucks, who don't believe in second chances."

"I'm sorry, Johnny," he murmured sincerely, feeling as if it were the worst possible thing he could say. "Maybe Lulu will figure out what she wants, and she'll get over what her parents think."

"Not everyone i's like you," he said pointedly, glaring at Jason. "Not everyone can just walk away from their family and never look back. Her parents were important to her, and all she ever wanted was their approval. Johnny O'Brien never gets the seal of approval."

"I get that you're upset," Jason replied, scratching his brow, "but don't you think that acting like this is the last thing Lulu would want?." He grunted, lifting another shot to his mouth, and Jason quickly added up the empty glasses forto a total of nine. "Johnny, you should slow down."

"Why?" he shrugged, snapping his fingers at Coleman as he stacked the glasses one inside the other. "She's not coming back, and if she does I already promised her I would stay away."

"Why would she come back if it wasn't for you?" he asked curiously, shaking his head curtly at Coleman as the bartender approached.

"She has stuff," he replied, waving at the bartender. "My friend doesn't speak for me. I'm a paying customer, and I want-"

"Two beers," Jason interrupted, sliding his warm beer across the counter. He'd barely touched it, knowing he'd have to drive home, and he just wasn't in the mood for any of this. "No more liquor, Johnny. You need to take a break."

"Whatever," he scowled, hanging his head and scrubbing his face with his hands. "You don't know what it's like. You have everything. You always have."

He was so angry, sinister even, and Jason had to bite his tongue to keep himself from exploding. He understood that the two men had been pitted against one another ever since they were kids, but Johnny made the choice to allow that to affect him.

"You have to hold it together to have something," Jason muttered, sliding a ten across the bar as Coleman returned with their beers. The bartender must have sensed that something was going on because he didn't bother to hang around for small talk and quickly retreated to the other end of the bar.

"Don't act like I haven't tried," O'Brien hissed, snatching his beer up from the bar and taking a long swig. "My entire life I've busted my ass to prove something, but it never matters. I never get what I want – the career, the break, or even the girl."

"You almost did though, Johnny. Every single thing you've done in the last year is going to have been for nothing," he pointed out, drumming his fingers against the bar to keep him from hitting his friend in the face. It was usually the only way to get through to Johnny, and Jason wasn't above reminding him what an asshole he could be.

"So why bother trying? Why not give you the business to you? You'll never run it into the ground like my old man said I always would. You can have every big break, and you'll definitely get the girl. She'd never leave you for someone else."

"Is that what this is about?" Jason asked angrily, sliding off his stool. He wasn't going to feel bad about how things turned out with Elizabeth, especially when Johnny walked away from her. "You have to grow up at some point, Johnny, and if you want to get drunk and feel sorry for yourself thean you can do it alone." He started to walk away, but stopped to turn back to his friend. "And just in case you were too drunk to remember what was happening before you left town, you had Elizabeth, and you fucked it up."

"Oh, go to hell, Jason," he snarled, his eyes darkening. "I never had her anymore than any other man in her life did." Smirking, he leaned forward, letting out a laugh. "Don't worry. She'll never be anyone but yours."

He didn't need the confirmation, but his heart still swelled at O'Brien's words. "I never doubted that for a second," he replied smugly, snatching his beer off the bar. "You need to think about what happens if Lulu comes back. Do you want her to find you like this?"

Sighing, Johnny took a long sip from his beer. "Maybe I don't want her to find me at all."

Elizabeth always worried about Johnny.

She'd gotten used to it even before Jason became Jason Morgan and spent most of her youth staying out late and talking Johnnyhim down when he felt the need to do anything erratic. His mother had died when he was young, and his father wasn't exceptionally hard on him, but he expected a lot of from his son, and O'Brien rarely got a break.

Maybe that was why she was always so easy on him. There was pressure from every aspect of his life; his father, his best friend, and himself, and Elizabeth never wanted to be someone who made him feel bad for who he was. She always accepted that he constantly made mistakes and came up short, and now she wondered if that was why he'd fallen. She could have been the one person to get through to him, but she knew focusing on the past wouldn't do Johnny any good now. She had to keep his head above water long enough to make him see that whatever happened wasn't his fault.

"Hey," Elizabeth called out, hurrying over to where Jason stood beside a pool table. A stick was in his hand and his gaze was narrowed at the cue ball, but she could tell he was focusing on anything but the game. "Sorry it took me so long. I was painting at my studio – just trying to come down from it all, and I only stopped when the thunder broke my focus."

"Thunder?" he asked, lifting her eyes to his face. He reached out immediately and smoothed her damp curls from her forehead. "I didn't even hear it or I would have called you."

She shrugged, her eyes sweeping around the bar for Johnny. "It's okay. The drive was just a few blocks, and it's not really storming yet. I didn't have time to get all worked up yet," she replied, frowning as Johnny sauntered over to some poorly dressed blonde at the jukebox. "God, what is he doing?"

"What O'Brien does best – his words, not mine," Jason answered, laying his stick across the table, his eyes still on her face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she murmured, managing a smile. "I'm still wrapping my head around all of this."

"Yeah, me too," he sighed, sliding his arm around her shoulder. "What do we do?"

Nibbling her lip, she leaned into him, closing her eyes long enough to revel in the safety she felt at being in his arms. She wanted to be angry with him, to hold all the secrets he had kept against him, but she couldn't. It was nothing she wouldn't have done for Johnny, and she knew that Jason would have easily accepted the truth when she was ready to tell him.

She just couldn't imagine Johnny being in such a bad place without her, though technically she had been there and done nothing about it. "He'll only hate himself if he wakes up tomorrow with some random woman beside him," she muttered, pressing her face against Jason's chest. "And he'll make a scene if we try to drag him out of here."

"Which will cause a scene and make him even more determined to hurt himself," Jason agreed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I know it's a lot to ask, but maybe you could talk to him." He smoothed his hand up and down her arm. "I think if anyone can get through to him…"

"Did you two argue?" she asked curiously, tipping her head back to look at him.

"He resents me for a lot of things," he replied, feeling ridiculous that Johnny just couldn't let things go. Jason never wanted the business or the big break or the girl; it just happened, and when good things happened, he knew he had to do his best to hang onto them.

"He's got a lot of misplaced anger right now with Lulu and messing up with work," she sighed, grimacing at her words. "God, I'm not trying to make excuses. It just happens."

"I'm sorry about earlier," he murmured, shifting his eyes to Johnny. "I shouldn't have lashed out and-"

"You were just being honest," she cut in firmly, not wanting him to apologize when he didn't have to. "I made excuses for him for years, and it's time I stop. Everyone else has tried to give Johnny a wake up call, and if Lulu can't be here to do it, I should at least try."

"Thank you," he said, shaking his head as he continued to look at his friend.

"Did he tell you anything more?" she asked, bracing her hands against the pool table, and wondering how to go about pulling Johnny away from the woman who was going to be the next notch in his bed post.

"Just that she broke it off…I don't think he's really that upset with her. He's angry with himself for his first impression on her parents and for not getting another chance."

"Can you blame him? He had something good, and he didn't know how to hang onto it. Sometimes I think he's inept that way. He has to test how durable the people are that come into his life, and when they can't take him at his worst, he gets angry, but they can't see that the anger is directed towards himself."

She stopped as Jason's phone rang, and he immediately became annoyed as he looked at the caller ID. "It's work. I left Ritchie in charge of some things, and I told him to only call if he needed me. Knowing him he's probably-"

"It's okay," she cut in, squeezing his hand as she stretched to press her lips to the corner of his mouth. "Take care of workit. I'll try to get Johnny out of here." He hesitated, but she shook her head, encouraging him to go. "My studio is just a few blocks. I can handle driving there in the rain."

She glanced over at Johnny, who was now buying the blonde a drink at the bar. She was relieved that Lulu was in Europe, well, that's where she assumed she was, and any place was better than seeing the man she loved picking up on someone else to try and get over her. "That is, if I can get him out of here."

"Alright," he sighed, kissing her gently. "I'll see you in a bit."

Elizabeth watched him leave before heading towards the bar, trying to figure out the best way to approach Johnny. If she came on too strong, he'd buck and fight her, but if she was too easy he'd still refuse to leave. She needed the right amount of wit with just enough sass to get him to listen to her, and if all else failed, she'd kick him between the legs and walk away.

"Since you're buying every other girl in the bar a drink, maybe you can buy me one too," Elizabeth said, leaning against the bar and glaring pointedly at the blonde on the other side of O'Brien. "Or do I not count anymore?"

Johnny flashed a crooked grin and looked her over with glassy eyes. "I doubt you'll be going home with me at the end of the night."

"Damn straight," she replied coyly, still staring at the woman. "If I have it my way, you'll be going home with me."

"No can do, Webber," he murmured, shaking his head. "You can't give me what I want."

"And she can?" she asked, pointing at the woman, who was now looking very confused. "Just so you know,know, he's engaged."

"I am not," Johnny snapped, grabbing his beer from the bar. "She left me. She chose her fucking family, who could give a shit about her. If she's not complying with their rules and regulations, she's nothing to them."

"Maybe her family is important to her," Elizabeth argued, thankful when the blonde slowly pulled herself away from them, probably figuring that she was the fiancé, but she wasn't about to correct her.

"I was supposed to be important to her," he corrected, taking a swig from the bottle.

"You are, but so is her family, and right now she's torn between who she loves and the people who have always loved her. You can't fault her for that."

"I don't. I know this isn't her, but she has control over what she does. She can choose me."

"And maybe she will," she said sadly, "but if you don't give her time to figure things out – if you wreck yourself what will she have to come back to?"

"Whatever," he muttered, getting off the stool and looking at her disgustedly. "You and Jason think because you have everything that you know everything too."

Elizabeth dropped her gaze to the floor, not sure what to say because if O'Brien was going to wallow in everything he never had, she wasn't going to be able to stop him.

"Don't do this to yourself," she said, moving to stand in front of him. "Don't go to this place again, Johnny. You've come so far."

"Yeah, I'll go back to being Jason's partner and your're friend and-"

"I can't do this," she interrupted, throwing up her hands. "You created your life, Johnny. The people in it, the job you have – it's all you. Jason and I have nothing to do with that. We're your friends, and we've just tried to hold you together."

"I don't need someone to hold me together., I'm a grown fucking man," he cried, slamming his beer down on the bar so hard that the bottle fell over. Y"I'm a grown fucking man, and you have a lot of room to talk. You've never been able to hold it together. It's always been me or Jason because you can't seem to do anything with depending on some man."

"You son of a bitch," she hissed, her eyes filling up with tears. "I change my mind. Lulu doesn't deserve you."

"This coming from the woman who was so jealous about my engagement that she tried to run my fiancé off," he spat, crossing his arms over his chest. "And you want to talk about deserving? The same could be said for Jason about you. You'll ruin it just like you do every relationship you have because none of them in your life will ever measure up to Jason Quarter-"

"Go to hell," she cut in, her palm landing against his cheek. "Go drown in your booze and your stupid whores, but don't expect Jason or me to clean this up. You're on your own this time, Johnny."

She turned away, rushing towards the door and into the back parking lot. The cool night air mixed with the rain hit her so hard that she almost lost her breath, and she barely made it to her car before she fell apart and burst into tears.