Disclaimer
I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the sole property of Masashi Kishimoto.
Episode 7: Scripts are for Losers
The camera pans in on a broken studio with holes throughout all of the walls. A bird nest is formed in the uppermost hole where the small television used to sit. Sakura is behind the broken desk, and Sasuke sits on the floor. Both look torn between horrified, embarrassed, and fake.
Sakura lifts her papers from the broken desk and pushes the bottoms of the paper onto the desk to straighten them. "Hello, and welcome to Konoha Television. My name is Sakura, and this," Sakura says, gesturing to Sasuke, "is Sasuke. We will be your co-hosts this evening, so please, sit down and relax and enjoy the broadcast."
Sasuke glances down at the stack of papers on his lap. "Tonight, we will be discussing the threat of the Akatsuki to the well-being of Konoha and the friendliness of all of the people within the loving community of the hidden leaf."
"But first, let's hear from our lovely Hokage, Lady Tsunade," Sakura says, her voice dejected.
Lady Tsunade bursts through the door, and, consequently, the door falls off of the hinges. "Hello, Konoha! It's so nice to be here. Thank you so much!"
Sakura sighs. Sasuke rolls his eyes. Sakura speaks, "Hello, Lady Tsunade. Welcome to Konoha Television."
"Today, we will be interviewing our… our Great Hokage, Lady Tsunade," Sasuke mumbles.
Tsunade shoots a glance at Sasuke. "Excuse me? I didn't quite catch that."
Sasuke sighs. "I don't want to reread it."
"Read it, Sasuke," Tsunade warns. "Now."
"Today, we will be interviewing our Great Hokage, Lady Tsunade," Sasuke says quietly.
"I can't hear you, Sasuke."
"Today, we will interview our Great Hokage, Lady Tsunade!" Sasuke yells, glaring.
Tsunade grins. "Interviewing little old me? Aw. You two are so sweet."
Sakura glares. "Shall we begin?"
"Certainly, certainly, dear Sakura-chan."
Sasuke groans. "Let's begin."
"Oh, goody. What's the first question?"
Sakura speaks, "How old were you when you first realized how amazing you are?"
Naruto groans. "This is so stupid. We can't host a show when we can't even speak! Lady Tsunade, these rules are just ridiculous."
"We aren't making revenue your way. We'll make revenue my way," Tsunade explains tensely.
"Making us look fake and stupid won't help you make money. Besides, isn't the point of this mission to make people happy?" Sakura questions.
Tsunade nods. "Partially. But we still need to make enough money to make up for our immense losses. You three are awfully good at breaking things."
"And your point is? It makes people happy," Naruto states.
"I have a tremendous idea! We'll just try something new for the next episode. Goodnight, Konoha!" Tsunade shouts.
The camera blacks out to the faces of the hosts, appearing incredibly confused.