Chapter 30

Jason always drove fast.

Be it on his bike or in his SUV,; he just always drove fast. And on the rare occasions that he hired a driver, he required that they drove just as fast as he would. He hated stop signs and red lights, preferring to drive through alleys and side streets, taking whatever route would get him to his destination faster.

Tonight had been like any other except that the second the storm picked up, he knew he had to get to Elizabeth as quickly as possible. Ever since the first night she had showned up on his doorstep, frantic and upset, he'd made the extra effort to be there during the softest of rain falls to the storms that caused blackouts. Sometimes , he wondered how long she'd held onto the fear before sharing it with anyone, and that made him want to be there even more in hopes of making it up to her somehow.

He'd cursed Ritchie for forcing him to have to drive back across town, and then he'd cursed the stupid fuck who'd driven their car into a pole on Main Street, adding an additional twenty minutes on his route to Elizabeth. Normally the rain would have slowed him down a bit, convinced him to ease up on the gas pedal because he'd think about Elizabeth, but tonight he hadn't been able to.

So, after sitting in traffic for nearly ten minutes without so much as inching forward, he'd managed to squeeze his way into the other lane, doingidoing a u-turn and peelingleding into an alley so fast that the police on the scene of the accident wouldn't have been able to catch him. Sure, Johnny had been there to keep her company, but something told Jason he didn't exactly understand know about how nervous storms made her.

And just maybe he wanted to be the one who comforted her.

He'd made it to her studio in record timeing and just knew the second Elizabeth answered the door, she was going to give him hell for driving like a lunatic and speeding in a storm. Of course, he'd imagined ways he could shut her up – well, that was if had Johnny had not been there, but he was drunk so there was always the chance that he would have passed out by the time Jason arrived.

Unfortunately, nothing of that sort happened.

Instead he'd entered a poorly lit building, realized and knew that the electricity was out, and knew that Elizabeth was probably more of a mess than she had been on the phone. He just hated to hear her voice tremble.

And instead of having Elizabeth ream him for taking a chance with his life in a terrible storm, he'd found her in Johnny's arms, their mouths pressed together in a more than friendly way. It was like every bad thought he'd had had come true.

He'd never been the type of man to get so involved with a woman that he looked forward to seeing her at the end of the day or to having her wake up beside him. He wasn't one to hope that she would be there tomorrow or that she would want to be with him. Most of the women he dated liked a good time, and their evenings ended with him buttoning up his pants and leaving her behind in a hotel room.

And the first woman that he knew he couldn't leave behind just had to be the one to remind him why he never had relationships in the first place. Or why he couldn't trust people, period.

Letting out a growl of frustration, he tightened one hand on the wheel as he shifted to pull his cell phone from his pocket. It'd been ringing continuously for the last ten minutes, and he knew it was Elizabeth, that she was calling to explain, and he just couldn't deal with it right now.

He swallowed hard when he saw her name on the caller ID and tightened his fist around the phone before hurling it across the seat. It crashed against the passenger side door, splitting into several pieces, and he almost smiled when the ringing immediately ceased.

He almost felt guilty; for running away from the studio, for yelling at her, and for refusing to speak to her, but he just couldn't. He did the best possible thing he could have done and removed himself from the situation because, otherwise, he would have pummeled Johnny and Elizabeth would have probably had to pull Jason off his best friend. And theen he would have yelled at her and told her what he really thought before storming out.

Granted, what he really thought wasn't what he really thought because he couldn't calm down for ten seconds to actually figure out anything. He just couldn't get the image of Elizabeth kissing Johnny out of his head, and while the fact that she had lusted and pined for him the entire time he was Europe had driven him crazy, this was just too much.

When he thought about Elizabeth, how good things had been when Johnny wasn't around, when things weren't mixed up, he wanted to believe it was real. They fit so well together in all aspects of their lives, and he'd been telling himself it wasn't too good to be true. Technically all that had changed was the fact that they were sleeping together, that he could hold her hand and kiss her whenever he wanted, and the ability to do all of those things had brought them closer than he imagined them ever being.

Tonight could have easily been a mistake. Maybe she was scared and caught up in the moment, and she just needed something, but if she would have waited just a minute longer, he'd have been there.

Or maybe Johnny had needed her and she didn't know what to do.

Or maybe they weren't as perfect as he thought.

He was willing to take the confusion that came with her wanting him, and he was doing his damnedest to understand why she had been so mixed up and had quickly let go of Johnny in favor of Jason. Honestly, he wanted to believe Elizabeth truly wanted to be with him and that what they had was on the verge of something real, but real wasn't what she'd done. And now he found himself wondering if it wasn't just some kind of ploy to get to Johnny in some way.?

That was the worst fucking thought of all.

Swearing under his breath, he gripped the wheel tightly as he took a curve on the cliff road, realizing that he hadn't even meant to end up here – it just happened. He used to drive it a lot after his accident; just him, the road, and his bike every night, and there was nothing that made him feel more free and on his own. He knew it was his anger getting in the way, but tonight the road felt strange and awkward, like he'd never driven it before. And that was when it occurred to him that maybe sometimes, he drove too fast.

Elizabeth leaned against a counter in her studio, her face pressed against the heels of her hands, having gotten so angry that Jason wasn't answering his phone that she'd slammed her cell phone against the wall. She immediately regretted it, knowing that was the one and only way he had to get a hold of her, and she knew that despite how angry he was, he would call her when he got home or to wherever his destination was upon storming out after seeing her kiss Johnny.

Or at least she hoped.

She shivered, running her hands up and down her wet arms. She was soaked to the bone, her clothes thick and heavy as they clung to her skin, and she wanted nothing more than to peel them off and curl into a ball, but unfortunately that wasn't an option.

"Elizabeth, will you say something?" Johnny moaned, lifting his head from the back of the couch to look at her.

"Shut up," she hissed, dropping her hands from her face to glare at him. With the faint glow of the light in the hallway, she could almost see his face, and it was hard not to imagine doing anything but hitting him in it.

"Look, I'm sorry," he said, repeating the three words he'd managed to say continuously for the last hour. "I shouldn't have…"

"Just shut up," she repeated, cradling her face in her hands as she started to cry again.

She wasn't even angry with Johnny. Sure, he'd tried to kiss her, but she hadn't stopped it, and that's what was killing her. As stupid and unbelievable as it may have been, the second Johnny's lips touched hers, it was familiar and she couldn't pull away. It was like she was someone else, and by the time she realized she wasn't – that she was still Elizabeth and she wanted Jason – it was too late.

He'd watched her betray him in the worst possible way, and nothing she had to say would change how he felt. She understood why he was so upset, but at the same time, she would never intentionally do anything to hurt him, and she just wished he would have stopped for a second and thought about that.

Then again, she would have had a similar reaction if she caught someone with their tongue down Jason's throat. Granted, she wouldn't have ruuan away immediately because she would have made sure the goddamn whore knew who she was, but then she would have left Jason behind, just to give him time to think about what he'd done.

Oh, who was she kidding? Jason would have never done anything like this.

He wouldn't have thought twice about pushing away the first woman that got close to him, knowing that he only wanted Elizabeth, and for some reason that hurt her more than anything else. To know that she had completely failed him – it just killed her.

Wiping her cheeks with the back of her hands, she paced back and forth across the room, trying to figure out what exactly to do. It wasn't like she could go after him; he could be anywhere and she was too upset to get behind the wheel of a car.

He shouldn't have even been driving.

"Elizabeth, I'll find him. I'll talk to him," Johnny murmured, slowly pushing himself up from the couch, having sobered up plenty from the mere shock of what had happened.

"You're not going anywhere," she snapped, sounding angrier than she meant to, but she was losing more and more control with every passing second.

"I'll explain that I kissed you – that I used you-"

"That sounds so great," she interrupted, her stomach churning at his words.

Used.

Just how many fucking times had she been used? And now that was exactly what Jason had thought she'd done with him.

"It's the truth," he said dryly.

"I know it is," she replied, clenching her fists at her sides. "But he doesn't care about what you did, Johnny. He cares that I – Things are so complicated with us. They always have been, and just when we were starting to move forward – I ruined it all."

"Elizabeth, come on. He's going to cool off, and he's going to come back."

"You don't understand," she cried, taking several deep breaths to try and keep herself from losing it all over again. "I – I hurt him in the worst possible way. He trusted me and…" Her voice trailed off as she noticed a shadow in the doorway from the corner of her eye. She stiffened, folding her arms over her chest, too terrified to look over.

"Elizabeth?"

Her head snapped to the doorway at the sound of Ritchie's voice, and she instantly thought of how different his shadow was next to Jason's. He was so much smaller; frail even, next to his boss, and his presence completely unnerved her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, shoving her damp curls from her face with tremblingshaky hands. Letting out a shaky breath, she looked from Ritchie to Johnny, and then back to Ritchie. "What?"

"I've been trying to call you for the last twenty minutes," he replied quietly, bracing his hands against the doorway as if he couldn't come into the room.

"Have you talked to Jason?" she asked nervously, wondering if he'd sent Ritchie to check up on her.

"Not exactly," he answered, hanging his head.

"What?" she asked, stepping towards him, and then stopping as her heart tightened in her chest. "Ritchie?"

"Elizabeth," he whispered, slowly lifting his eyes to hers, and she didn't need to see through the darkness.

She just knew.

"He's at home," she said, shaking her head, instantly stepping into denial. "He sent you, right? He knew I was upset and worried." She shook her head again and looked at Johnny, who looked as stunned as she did. "Ritchie?"

"There – uh – there was…" He swallowed hard, pushing himself away from the doorway to walk over to her. "Jason wr – wrecked his car on – on the cliff road."

"No!" she shouted, backing away from him as she held her hands out in front of herhim. "It wasn't Jason. It couldn't have been. He was going – he was going home. I know he was mad, but he was going home. He wouldn't – wouldn't do something like that – not in this weather."

"Elizabeth," Ritchie sighed, reaching out to pull her into his arms, but she bucked against him, shoving him away.

"No!" she cried, looking over at Johnny to see that he'd sunk back onto the couch and was slumped forward. "It wasn't him – it can't…"

"His mom was on duty at the hospital. She called the warehouse to try and get in touch with someone."

"No," she whimpered, letting herself collapse against Ritchie as he reached for her again. Burying her face in his chest, she fell apart as reality set in, remaining on her feet only because he was holding her up. She buried her face in his chest, falling apart as reality to set in. She was pretty sure the only reason she was able to continue standing was because he slid his arms around her waist to hold her up. "This can't – it's my – not again, Ritchie. Not again."