Vamps and Ronins
Chapter Seventeen: I Choose My Own Way
Written by: Tiasha
Black and blue I chose my way
I, the candid castaway
In a way delayed by one more broken season
To find reason for appeasing you and
So I found my guiding light
Lamp and flashing red and white
Through a starry night I'm better nowhere-bound
Than boundin' on your solid ground
Anna Nalick - "Satellite"
Robyn watched as Cye again glanced at his blond friend accusingly as they waited for the last few members of their group to arrive at the Mouri Residence. Sage had been absolutely silent as to what these 'poems' contained, only saying that Mariko should be the one to explain them.
"How long until they get here?" Kento asked, slumping further into the couch next to her. She shook her head, slouching with him and curling somewhat into his warmth. Despite the sleep she had gotten earlier, Robyn still felt slightly drained and exhausted as the day wore on. She wasn't going to become one of those lazy pregnant women, was she? Wait a sec! When had she actually come to think of her condition as a pregnancy?
"Soon," answered Rowen, arms crossed and a pensive look in his face. The bearer of Strata was obviously distracted since he had yet to make any wisecracks about her 'shelter' the previous night. And she was not about to invoke them either.
"How long did you know, Sage?" Cye questioned, fixing the blond young man with a frown. The bearer of Halo was not fazed in the least as he continued to lean against one of the walls in the living room of the Mouri's home. Robyn frowned again. What was with Cye today?
"Man, you seem ready to tear into anyone who looks at you cross-eyed," she said from her spot between Kento and the couch. She could feel all eyes on her now and she grimaced, sensing the uneasy tension that continued to cling around them. "I mean, it's not like he kept it from us on purpose. The moment Sage realized that it was important, he said something. What's the big deal with that?"
She watched as a somewhat guilty expression stole over her childhood friend's face, before he muttered an abashed, heartfelt apology. Sage merely nodded, continuing to brood and wait in silence for the arrival of Ryo and the twins.
"So what are we gonna do once we figure out what these things are?" Kento asked. Rowen and Cye shrugged their shoulders but the latter looked towards the door when the doorbell rang. Robyn watched from her little burrow as the bearer of Torrent went to answer the door. She heard him greet Ryo and the twins, though somewhat stiffly as he addressed the latter two. She blinked as they came in and Ryo came to settle on the couch next to her, placing her between him and Kento.
"Oh, yeah, thanks. Squish me to death, why don't you," she grumbled at Ryo, sticking her tongue out at him. Ryo responded by squishing her even more, a playful smile on his face. She squeaked in protest and finally enlisted Kento's help.
"Kento! Make him stop!" she whined and to her surprise, the bearer of Hardrock denied her plea. He shrugged his shoulders and turned a blind eye, although she did catch his smile so she knew he was playing along. With a grunt she used Kento has a springboard and pushed against Ryo. It wasn't working. With a pout, she turned pleading eyes on Kento.
Kento finally obliged and shoved Ryo, causing the bearer of Wildfire to release his captive momentarily; however, he then moved to shove Kento back. Kento retaliated and Robyn soon found herself in the middle of a childish "don't touch me-but you touched me first" battle. She struggled to push the two apart, muttering idle threats as she did so. "Come on already! I don't like being monkey in the middle!" she griped as she finally succeeded in pulling the two apart somehow.
"If you three are quite finished, we can begin," said Mariko in a no-nonsense tone. Robyn gave the older woman an odd look, trying to understand why she was so serious. It was as if someone had died or something. Were these poems really that bad?
Robyn felt her breath catch in her throat. This meeting no longer put her at ease and she could feel the tension in the room grow even stronger. There was going to be a free-for-all in no time if these "poems" were that bad. And then who was going to stop the boys? Heaven knew that the twins would be no match for all five of them and since when did the guys actually listen to her and do what she told them to?
"So, what are these poems and what do they have to do with Robyn?" Cye asked, giving the eldest twin an accusing look. Robyn sighed, knowing that he was entitled to be upset. They all were entitled…but still…
"A set of three and they're prophecies, not poems."
Silence hung in the air for a moment before one of the guys repeated in a questioning tone, "Prophecies?"
Mariko nodded her head solemnly. "They are prophecies that have been in the Netherworld Temple for ages. I stumbled across them when I returned to retrieve the last of my valuables. Kayura had requested my help in the library and while helping her search for some scrolls, I came across these. Neither of us knew what to make of them, especially when I was the only one who could break the seal."
"Seal? You mean that someone had sealed those away? And you broke the seal? How do you know that by opening the seal, you didn't ensure that these prophecies would come true?" Rowen inquired, eyeing Mariko accusingly. Robyn bit her lower lip, wondering if that were possible. Rowen was the "smart one" of the five, so what he said would have some possibilities of truth to it. Had Mariko unintentionally put these past events in motion by opening the seal?
A small frown tugged at Cody's lips as she crossed her arms. "Do you know what a prophecy is?" she asked, her tone clear that she was not trying to insult them. Rowen still glared at her as if she had indeed insulted him. She ignored the look however, and continued. "A prophecy states an event or chain of events that will occur no matter what the circumstance. These events cannot be stopped or altered in a major way. A prophecy merely allows one to prepare."
"Meaning…" Kento drawled, giving the younger woman a slightly confused look.
"My sister did not cause these things to happen to Robyn," she stated. "They would have happened anyway and none of us would know what was going on if she hadn't tried to decipher them."
"But why bother with them in the first place?" Ryo asked. "If you couldn't read them to begin with then what made them so important? Aside from being sealed, I mean…"
Mariko took a deep breath as she pondered how to answer. "My armor," she finally decided on, somehow knowing that the five boys would understand what she meant. "There was something about them that drew my armor's attention. And now having deciphered them, I understand why. I play a major role towards the end of this whole ordeal; one of which I am ready to meet."
"So what do these prophecies say exactly?" Cye asked with a look of concern on his face as he glanced at Robyn. Robyn smiled at him reassuringly, hoping that this whole situation was not turning out as bad as it sounded.
"The first prophecy speaks of the Mother Empress," Mariko explained.
"What about her?" questioned Kento, not understanding how that was important and nor did Robyn. Why merely talk about the woman? How was that going to help their situation any?
"It describes her. Her looks, her desire and her soul are what the first prophecy speaks of."
"And what exactly does it say?" pressed Ryo. "Don't leave anything out. We want to know exactly what to expect, got it? This whole mystery stuff you've been pulling is not helping, despite what you think." Robyn blinked in surprise at Ryo as his fists clenched in annoyance. She was finding it a little difficult to understand their feelings. She simply took things in stride and if she didn't know something because no one would tell her, no matter how much nagging she did, then she simply accepted it.
'But they're not like that,' she reminded herself as she looked around the room, seeing that the other four boys were in agreement with Ryo. 'They need to know what's going on…or they feel helpless…'
Mariko's face turned to one of annoyance and displeasure and she threw a dark look at her younger sibling. The younger woman visibly backed away and held her hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Neeeeee, onee-san… It wasn't exactly my fault…" the younger woman whined, a look of fear and dread flitting across her face momentarily.
"It was too! You knew I was doing some important work on that computer! But no. You just had to let Matt use my laptop and download that virus," Mariko hissed, fists clenching at her sides. This was the first time any of them had seen the older woman so upset and it seemed very likely that she would exact some bodily harm to her beloved sister too.
Cody looked incensed at that and straightened to her full height, "Hey! It's not like either of us did it intentionally! How was he to know that document his summer teacher sent him had a virus in it?"
"So, wait…what exactly happened?" Kento butted in, growing confused like everyone else in the room who was not involved in the current argument.
Mariko took a deep breath and turned to face them once more, casting one last dark look at her baby sister. "All the translations for the prophecies were on my computer, which just so happened to get a virus the other day thanks to certain members of my household—"
"I said it wasn't our fault!"
"—and now the hard drive is completely and utterly scrambled. There's no way to reassemble it."
Silence permeated in the room for a good few minutes before Sage spoke. "Well, isn't that convenient."
Cody wore a look of surprise and Mariko merely rolled her eyes at the accusation, as if she had expected that type of reaction from the bearer of Halo. Robyn looked just as surprised as Cody and nearly jumped from the couch as she spoke in defense of the twins. "Oh come on! You really think that that was all intentional? Give me a break! They have only two computers in that small apartment, you know!"
"And just how do you know this?" Sage asked her. Robyn's countenance quickly changed to one of a person being caught with their hand in the proverbial cookie jar. A nervous laugh escaped her and she sunk back into her little burrow, hoping the Ronins on either side of her would defend her. She looked to either of them and saw that they were curious as well. Ah damn…
"Because…I've been there…before?"
"When?" Cye asked, trying to remember when she had been gone long enough to have visited the twins. With an internal sigh of defeat, he realized that there were a few opportunities for her to have disappeared to the twins' apartment. Robyn shrugged from her spot, her attitude hinting that it really didn't matter.
"I don't know, after graduation, I think…"
Mariko cleared her throat, "It was after graduation, yes. And if you all are still interested, I do remember most of what the prophecies spoke of."
"Right. Let's hear it then," Ryo encouraged, the others nodding in agreement. "You said the first one just talked about her?"
Mariko nodded, "Yes, it described her appearance for the most part."
"Then why is it important if all it does is describe her?" Rowen asked, brow furrowed in thought.
"It was a way to figure out who the empress was and as we now know, it's Robyn. And it spoke of warriors that would fight for her, so those warriors must be you five."
"So, how's that important?"
Cody rolled her eyes, "First step to solving this was figuring out who it was. With a description, we figured it out to be Robyn…albeit it took us awhile but still, we put two and two together. After we knew it was her, we paid more attention to keeping her safe."
"What about the other two?" Robyn ventured from her spot between Ryo and Kento. So the first one wasn't that big of a deal. She could live with that; it was the other ones that she was slightly afraid of. Prophecies usually meant something horrible was going to happen…didn't they?
Mariko began to look somewhat uncomfortable as she shifted her weight to her other foot. "The second prophecy focuses on the fate of the Mother Empress and the ordeal she must face in the Nether Realm. The third focuses on the Mother Empress seeking to reclaim the throne and the battle that will occur because of it."
Cody sighed aloud as she too shifted her weight to the other foot. "We suspect that Dragon will have some sort of coup d' etat in the Netherworld, so as soon as the next Gate becomes available, I'll be gathering our army."
"Army? Just how large is this battle supposed to be?" Sage questioned, throwing a somewhat dark look at the twins.
"The army will be dealing with the Nether Soldiers, which will allow us to focus on Dragon and the Dark Emperor."
"So there's no way that we can get rid of this guy beforehand, huh?" Kento asked. Silence fell around them for what seemed to be the longest minute in Robyn's mind. The lack of an immediate answer or solution told her that the other occupants felt guilty for having let the situation even happen. Yet from the sound of it, this was what Fate had intended. Damn Fate… she thought discontentedly.
"No…he has to be born. It says so in the second prophecy and she is to fight him, as stated in the third," Cody supplied as she finally sat Indian-style on the floor, chin resting in one hand. "Which royally sucks if you ask me, but I think we all agree on that aspect, ne?"
"And the third prophecy speaks of a friend who will betray Robyn—a seeming friend, and while the betrayel may come as a shock to you, Robyn, you need to keep your mind on track. The dangers will be great and someone will die when we reach the Nether Realm. You must fight with all the courage you have in your hearts and Robyn; you must accept your fate, because if you don't…then everything we've done up 'til now, will have been for naught."
"What do mean someone's going to die?" Robyn questioned, her stomach rolling with unease. Sure she wasn't keen on accepting this position of authority, but the thought of someone dieing because of her? She didn't know if she could live with that… Why was it that death always seemed to be around her? It was as if death was a constant companion in some manner and it only made her feel worse and more of a burden. The guys had to deal with all of this because of her, because she just had to run back to Japan and hide behind Cye like she had when they were younger, despite Cye's distaste for fighting.
"It is none of you, so don't worry about it. What you should be worrying about is what you're going to do once you get to the Nether Realm," Mariko explained, her tone proclaiming that she would not reveal whose life was in question. Robyn frowned at that and was about to press the issue when Ryo beat her to it. Or more accurately, Ryo's temper beat her to it.
"So what if it's not one of us! If we can keep whoever it is from dieing then we should know!" he shouted, fists clenched and a deep frown on his face. Silence followed his exclamation as the other Ronins awaited her answer, including Cody. Apparently the eldest twin had kept the death completely to herself.
After a moment's deliberation, Mariko finally sighed heavily and stared at the floor. She did not meet anyone's gaze as she repeated a few lines she had obviously memorized from the second prophecy. "A feather to ash, tattered and torn. No rebirth, hope now gone astray; in empress mother our hope now lay. My armor is the Phoenix—a bird…that feather is me."
Robyn blinked in surprise at this quiet admission before shifting her gaze to focus on the younger of the twins. Cody's face held shock, worry and anger—all emotions that the redhead could understand and sympathize with. Turning her eyes away from Cody, she looked at each boy in turn, noting the looks of surprise on each face. They had not expected it to be her apparently but then, nor had Robyn. Mariko was one of those people who one could never really see them dieing from any cause. She had that feel of immortality about her and the wisdom she possessed astounded those she met; it was indeed shocking to remember that she could die just like everyone else.
"Wait, I thought that phoenixes could be resurrected. You can too, right? Didn't you say something like that?" Rowen questioned, frowning slightly when Mariko nodded affirmatively in answer. "So why are you making it seem like such a big deal if you can come back?"
"You're not going to let it," Cody intoned in an emotionless manner. "You're going to refuse whatever life-force is offered to you, aren't you."
Mariko sighed heavily, not in aggravation or disappointment but out of exhaustion. "I'm tired. Time in the Nether Realm is greatly different than time in this realm. While I was technically born nineteen years ago, I have had at least a century's worth of hardships on the soul. I'm also tired of dieing and then shortening someone else's life just to return to the plane of the living.
"Taking a life-force is a terrible thing to do, even if it's just a little. It weighs on the heart and soul more than anything could really. Killing someone is even harder when you have a heart like all of yours—even yours Cody, despite you being a Bounty Hunter. I was trained to kill without second thoughts—by Talpa no less— but you all…you weren't trained or created for that purpose. You were meant to protect…and to live."
"Then we'll protect you and keep you alive," Ryo argued, looking at the older woman with determination. "That's what we do. That's what being a Ronin Warrior is all about."
"Surely you know that," Sage implied, giving Mariko a hard, knowing look to which she averted her eyes and looked to the floor.
"It's not impossible," Kento offered with his usual grin on his face in an attempt to ease the dreariness of the conversation.
"I know that but, once this is over, I don't think I will be able to come back. Phoenix may leave me instead of bringing me back. If she follows the prophecy, then there will be no way to bring me back to life. Even the great Mother Empress did not have the power to bring people back from the dead."
"So that's it? You're just going to leave it at that?" Rowen asked, a look of surprise on his face. They all had a look of surprise on their faces and Robyn realized that they and Mariko would never see eye-to-eye on this subject. The boys never just 'gave up' and she knew that no amount of reasoning would change their minds. They were going to do all they could to keep Mariko alive…
"You coward," hissed Cody from where she sat on the floor. "You're just going to give up like that? All those people who gave you their life-force did it willingly! You should not feel guilty about it! You're just too cowardly to go on living once your revenge on Dragon is complete!"
Mariko's posture stiffened at the comment and she met her sister's smoldering gaze. "Do not bring him into this. He has nothing to do—"
"He has everything to do with this! You just want to go back to Julien and the only way to do that is through death! You're a goddamn coward!"
"When you know of love, you may speak to me about this subject again. But I will not stand here and listen to you preach about something you know nothing about!"
"I know enough about it to see that you're a coward and that you're going to abandon Matt and Joshua and me!"
"Now is not the time for one of your tantrums, imouto," Mariko warned, letting it be known to her younger sibling that she was still in charge. Cody let out a strangled scream of frustration before calling her sub-armor and disappearing through the floor. Robyn stared in shock at the spot the youngest twin had occupied only moments before and tried to justify what had happened.
"I apologize for her behavior," Mariko softly apologized, drawing their attention back to her. She was not meeting any of their gazes and Robyn worried her lower lip in anxiety. This meeting was just going from bad to worse in no time flat.
"This is really hard on her…isn't it…" Rowen said, a look of sympathy crossing his face. The elder twin nodded and heaved a heavy sigh.
"She's…afraid…I'm all she has left of our original family and to her, I'm the glue that holds our current little family together. She's simply afraid."
"It's understandable," came the comment from Sage as he looked out the window near his position, a slight frown on his face. "And you shouldn't blame yourself for it."
Mariko laughed nervously at that. "Yeah…but that happens when you take on the role of mother. But anyway! Enough of that! Any questions?" They all could tell that the older woman was uncomfortable speaking about such personal matters and Robyn idly wondered if it was because she didn't know how life was going to be after all of this. She really was a mother…
"Is she gonna be alright though?" Kento questioned and Mariko was silent for a moment as she seriously contemplated her answer.
"She and I will have a talk later this evening. She needs to remember that something like this would have happened sooner or later. And it's for a good cause," she explained, her eyes shifting to the floor. "And I know from your expressions that you all are going to try and keep me from dieing. So I ask you, don't."
"But that's absurd!" Cye argued, glaring at Mariko. "Why are you asking us to just let you die?!"
"Because as a Ronin Warrior it is my duty and honor to sacrifice myself for the sake of peace, in this realm or in the Nether Realm. You would do the same and you know it."
Robyn was somewhat amazed at how solemn each young man looked as they recognized that Mariko's words rang true. And at the same time, she was filled with fear. Knowing that they would hold no qualms in sacrificing themselves for the safety of the world… She shivered involuntarily and dug deeper into her burrow of warmth in the couch, allowing Ryo and Kento's presence to ease her fears ever so slightly. She didn't want to think about…she really didn't…
"All right…What's the third one?" Sage questioned, redirecting everyone's attention back to the issue at hand. Always the voice of reason, she mused silently before paying attention to Mariko as she restated the prophecy as best she could.
Mariko's gaze fell to the floor in discomfort, biting her lower lip. "The powers of the Mother Empress will be awakened. Upon her awakening, she will fight Totoyami in a battle of epic proportions. She will fight him for the security of this realm—all realms actually and something will happen… There's the danger of the soul being lost. I haven't figured out how yet, but I just know that it's possible. Trust in your heart and things should work out."
Silence followed for a few minutes. "So it doesn't say who will win?"
Mariko shook her head, "No, but that works to our advantage. It means that we can start preparing Robyn for this war."
That had all of them staring at the eldest twin in shock. A flurry of protests quickly followed after their initial shock, save for Robyn. Amazing how her safety had quickly shoved Mariko's eminent death from the forefront of their minds… It almost made her sick…
"You can't be serious!" Ryo shouted in anger, nearly leaping from his seat on the couch.
"Look. She's the Mother Empress, the Mother Empress is supposed to fight Totoyami."
"We'll fight him instead," Rowen reasoned.
"Yeah, we can kick his butt no problem!" Kento enthused, a confident and reassuring grin on his face. Mariko sighed and gave them an unconvinced look.
"Hate to break your images of ya, but Totoyami is gonna wipe the floors with you." She crossed her arms, noting the displeased looks on the boys and girl before her. "Totoyami is supposed to be stronger than Talpa."
"So?"
"It is said, that Totoyami is the son of Talpa."
"Son?! That's just—just—gross!"
She gave Kento a look that said he was going in the wrong direction with his train of thought. "Uh…not quite that kind of son. In cases like these, you don't have to have sex to beget a child. I mean, Robyn is a perfect example here. She didn't have sex and yet Totoyami is growing inside of her, plus she's not even showing signs of carrying him."
Robyn shifted uneasily at being used as an example, even though what the older woman was saying made sense. Wait, how did she know about Totoyami anyway? "Hey, how do you know so much about Totoyami? Was he mentioned in the prophecies or something?"
Mariko shook her head, green bangs falling into her eyes with the movement. "No. Totoyami was actually mentioned in separate documents, of which I have researched prior to all of this happening. It was only recently that I was able to connect the pieces. Totoyami is created from the power of two beings, hence the idea of him being a son, and he was to be carried by the Mother Empress, hence again the idea of "son." The two beings are ones whom you all are acquainted with, obviously."
"Yeah. How could we ever forget Talpa," came the cynical remark from Ryo.
"Huh-uh…and Nago."
"WHAT?!" Robyn couldn't hold back her shriek of surprise. She stared at Mariko as if she had grown two other heads, wings and a tail. There was no WAY that that was possible! From what she'd known, Talpa and Nago had occupied different realms and had had no correlations with each other. Now she was being told that Nago had in fact known Talpa and had even struck up some deal with him? Impossible! "You're kidding right? You gotta be! Kortez never even mentioned Talpa!"
"That is because that little twit of a sorcerer didn't know about the bargain. This pact was made just after the two had murdered the original Mother Empress. The clan of the Ancient Ones had bestowed the Mother Empress with the gift of reincarnation, as it was all they could do at the time of her death. Knowing that her rebirth would ruin both their plans for taking over realms, they struck an agreement. Nago would try to devour the soul first, using the void in that soul for his entrance into the Mortal Realm… And as a fail-safe for the take-over failing, Talpa entrusted the death of the reincarnation's body to his—their creation…Totoyami. That is why I say, the five of you can NOT defeat him. Totoyami was made to fight on par with the Mother Empress."
"Whoa…that's pretty thought-out… Are you sure it was Talpa?" Kento asked, a slightly disbelieving look on his face. Rowen chuckled softly at that and shook his head, silently agreeing with Kento's comment. Talpa had always been over-confident to the point that it had led to his downfall.
"Yes. I'm sure."
"So Robyn has to fight this guy?" Sage questioned, a frown on his face. "That's not much of an incentive for us to allow it."
Mariko gave him a frown of her own, "Well, it doesn't matter if you will allow it, Sage. It's going to happen regardless. Once Totoyami is born, he's going to seek out Robyn and destroy her, whether she tries to fight him or not."
"But there must be something we can do," protested Cye, hands clenching into fists where the rested upon his knees. A frown was also on his face and he was looking at the older woman in such a pleading manner that she could not continue meeting his gaze.
"I'm sorry…I don't know anything else… This—this is as far as I can go… This is all the knowledge I have on this at present," the green-haired woman intoned, eyes closed in regret and sympathy.
Robyn stared at her fists that lay clenching in her lap, her brows furrowed in thought as she realized that there really was no way that she could escape this. This was her destiny…and she was hating it at the moment for having involved the boys in something that should have been hers to deal with alone. Her cowardice had caused them to be involved, placing their lives in jeopardy.
"How long do we have before we need to go?" Robyn finally voiced, cutting the silence that had settled around them momentarily. No one knew what else to say or suggest. There were no more alternatives to consider…and it frightened her.
The boys stared at her as if she had gone crazy and maybe she had, but she ignored that, fixing her green gaze on Mariko's ice blue one. Contrary to popular belief, Robyn was not stupid, and she knew that there was so much riding on her victory. Peace for one thing and the lives of people in both realms as another. No, she needed to prepare for this. It seemed that it was her turn to be the Hero and she would not fail.
"She's not going," Cye stated suddenly, his tone deadly calm and even. Robyn looked at him in slight surprise, but more at the tone than the words. He was trying to keep his anger and anxiety in check, this she could see, but his tone—she had never heard him speak like that ever.
Saying words she never thought she would say, and in a tone that was so resolute that she was shaking on the inside from the implications of it all, "I will go. There's more at stake than just me. I have been selfish, hiding and turning a blind eye towards what's happening. I won't be selfish any longer. It is my duty and my destiny."
And she stood from her spot on the couch, her gaze once again fixed on Mariko. "Can we talk upstairs?" she asked somewhat softly of the older woman, not wanting to see the shocked and worried expressions on her friends' faces right now. Mariko merely nodded and moved to follow Robyn as she headed upstairs.
Having said those words was making Robyn uneasy. Her whole life she had fought against the belief that things were preordained or that there was some path that everyone followed to reach a destination. She had fought against it because she had not wanted to believe that her whole mess of a life was because of Destiny. Her parents, her moving away, her horrid luck with Foster Parents, being ostracized by her peers, Jason, Nago—especially Nago—it left a bitter taste in her mouth just thinking that that was Fate and Destiny.
'Get a grip, girl! Take it in stride! Breath and take it in stride!' she silently repeated to herself, trying to keep herself from having a nervous breakdown. Although, she reasoned that she had to be entitled to a nervous breakdown by now.
Taking things in stride was not new to Robyn and in all honesty, she was more comfortable in meeting each day without any knowledge of what it held for her. She had done that for the majority of her life with her constant change of Foster Parents, and it had become almost second nature. It was one of the reasons why people tended to find her blunt and random. She stated it as she saw it. Plain and simple.
To her, it seemed useless and a waste of time and energy to plan things in such detail. No one could expect each event to occur exactly as they plan it to, or the consequences to be exactly as expected. Life was too unpredictable. Expect it to be unpredictable and you're safe. At least, that was how she had reasoned it to be all those years ago…
Having a plan of action or guidelines was a security—a security that one became so dependent upon that independent thought became frightening. She always frowned when she met people who had become so dependent on guidelines, conformity and consistency, but at the same time she envied them. They were given the chance to have some sort of consistency and stability in their life to bring them comfort. The only consistency she had been given was that of having the unpredictable happen and trouble nipping at her heels wherever she went. That was her consistency…and her curse…
Robyn reached her room and pushed the slightly ajar door completely open. "Take a seat on the bed," she said amiably, not bothering to apologize for the slightly messy appearance of the room. Various articles of clothing were strewn across the floor—a pair of beat-up jeans folded in a haphazard manner, a couple of screen-printed shirts in a colorful pile near the jeans, and one worn sneaker by the door with its mate peaking out from underneath the bed. The bed was most notably the cleanest aspect of the whole room. The sheets were pulled up and folded properly and the pillows had been arranged in such a manner that they could only be termed as "decorative."
"Uhhh," murmured Mariko as she slowly stepped into the room and glanced over its contents. Robyn shifted her feet in self-consciousness. She was not used to having another woman examining her room. She usually spent the nights over at her friends' houses so they rarely saw the state at which her room spent the majority of its time in, and the only other woman who ever went in her room was Mrs. Mouri.
Robyn's back stiffened a moment later and she looked off to one of the walls of the room, sniffing defiantly; "Excuse the mess."
Mariko turned to give her a curious look before noticing that the redhead had straightened to her full height and was looking away. "Ah! Gomen ne [sorry]! I didn't mean that! Well, actually I kinda did but—" the short-haired woman babbled, trying to salvage the situation, which Robyn believed did not even need salvaging. So she wasn't a neat freak, big deal?
"Don't worry about it," the redhead said with a wave of her hand. She then flopped onto her bed, staring at the ceiling in thought. She had asked the older woman to come upstairs to talk but in truth, she had wanted to run away again. She had wanted to run away form the expressions on the boys' faces. She knew that they would never understand her need or desire to keep them as uninvolved in her life as possible right now. They had such big hearts that they wanted to help if they could and Robyn was not sure if she could stand to see them hurt again.
"So, you're in temporary hiding, huh? Can't say I really blame you," Mariko commented, arms folded across her chest as she meandered around the room, looking at various items and photos Robyn had displayed. Robyn blinked at the choice of words Mariko had used, though her gaze did not drift away from her oh-so-interesting ceiling. Hiding, huh? Well, she supposed that it was fairly accurate in its definition but…
She sighed aloud and growled in frustration at the same time, hating how this had all become so damn complicated and confusing. Why couldn't she just go to this Nether Realm and like, flip a switch or lock some gate for eternity? No, nothing could ever be that easy in life…but wasn't that why people appreciated the less difficult things in life?
'It truly is all about balance, isn't it? This whole good and bad thing—it's all about harmony and balance,' she silently thought, that old realization of hers becoming even more true and predominant. Despite the realization and knowing that she should be comforted by it, Robyn grabbed a nearby pillow, placed it over her face and let out a scream of frustration into its cotton, feathered, padded mass.
"I'll take that as a yes," Mariko chuckled, pausing in her trek around the room to look at a picture with more scrutiny. Robyn glanced at the other woman briefly from under the pillow before shoving it back to its rightful place, an errant thought running through her mind as she watched the older woman. Was it really worth it?
"Is it really worth it?" she asked softly, causing the woman to start at the redhead's voice. Mariko raised an inquisitive eyebrow and placed the picture back onto the bookshelf she was standing in front of.
"This whole battle thing? I think it is, but I'm not the one who has the weight of the world on her shoulders. I cannot tell you what it will be like if you win—"
"If?!" Robyn blanched as she squeaked it out, her whole body shaking slightly with the thought that Mariko did not believe in her enough to say 'when.' Oh, the older woman knew how to give a great pep-talk.
"—for I can't tell the future like some. That gift was never bestowed upon me. Seeing is truly rare in this world and even in the Nether Realm. A true Seer is coveted in the Nether Realm, while those here scoff at them. I'm afraid that my usefulness has reached its end in that manner. I cannot tell you what to expect nor can I tell you what you should be feeling."
"Seeing? You mean Fortune Telling?"
Mariko nodded her head; "Yup! Yasalia's not too bad at it and I've met a few who truly have the gift. Why? Don't tell me you're one of those who doesn't believe it's possible."
"So, you don't think a person is capable of reading the future in a deck of cards?"
"No, I don't…"
Robyn blinked at the sudden memory, a troubled time in her life that she had shoved, like much her childhood in the States, to the farthest recesses of her mind. It was the voice of a young man whom she had never conversed with before that one day and the odd little reassurance he had given her in regards to her run of bad luck. Why was she remembering this so suddenly? What could have possibly triggered it?
"I don't…I don't know anymore," Robyn said truthfully, knowing that with everything that was going on, the thought of someone being able to read the future did not seem as farfetched as it had all those years ago when she had spoken with the boy.
Mariko cleared her throat to gain her attention and Robyn blinked up at the woman in surprise.
"Now, you want to explain to me why Yasalia called my cell phone yesterday in a fit trying to find out where you were?"
Robyn grimaced at that and lightly brushed her hand across her cheek, feeling it twinge slightly in pain at the contact. Again, she had forgotten all about that and in truth did not want to recount it again. She had already told Sage all about the incident and that had been just plain awkward, considering that he usually showed the least amount of concern for her. "It was nothing really…"
"Don't lie to me."
With a pout and a heavy sigh, she crossed her arms. Geez, Mariko really had that whole mother's instinct thing down. "Fine. I stopped by the store because Arain was so excited to show me this new trick of his and while I was there, Jayzen showed up. He got pissed off, we exchanged words and then he swung at me. Arain and Yasalia distracted him long enough for me to run out of the store and get away. End of story."
"And where did you stay last night?"
A blush crept up her face unbidden and she clenched her jaw in stubbornness. She didn't have to answer if she didn't want to. Or so she told herself over and over as Mariko watched her curiously.
Mariko saw the blush and raised an inquisitive brow. "A certain blonde's perhaps?"
Robyn resisted the urge to sit up in surprise. How had she known?! How?! In an effort to retain some shred of dignity, she said what she should have said in the first place. "None of your business."
The knowing chuckle was her downfall. "Ah…so it was."
Robyn pouted.
"All right…I'll stop teasing you… His place was the closest when the storm hit then?"
Sighing, Robyn nodded, suspecting that if she didn't fess up, Mariko would continue to badger her…or worse—come to her own conclusions. Yes, she definitely had the whole "mother" thing down… "Sorta. Rowen's was closer but he wasn't home. Sage was next in being closest…"
"And you told him what happened?"
"I kinda had to…"
"And his reaction?"
Robyn frowned, "What do you mean?"
"He was displeased with Jayzen?"
"Uh…yeah…not that I blame him."
"I see," Mariko said as she ran the story over in her head once more. She had dropped the teasing attitude, being patient and serious as she continued with the questioning. It was difficult to say what Mariko thought of it all since the older woman was keeping her face schooled into an expression of neutrality now, but Robyn could only assume that she was displeased with the event. Who wouldn't be? It was almost ironic in Robyn's mind now that the danger was not looming over her; she always seemed to choose the wrong type of guy, or more accurately, allowed herself to be swayed by the wrong type of guy. Joshua had been right when he'd asked her that question a few weeks ago—or was it a month now?—about if she were letting Jayzen's words of praise cloud her judgment, and in retrospect, she knew she had.
"So, what do you plan to do about him?" Mariko asked her after a few moments of silence and Robyn frowned slightly in thought. She wasn't entirely sure what she was going to do about the young man. She wanted to give him a second chance but she knew deep down that this would only happen again, and Robyn was not the type to stay with a guy who hit her. And there had been something strangely off about him when he'd lost his temper yesterday.
"I don't know…" she said honestly but shrugged her shoulders half-heartedly, giving off the air that she didn't care too much about the subject. She heard the other woman sigh heavily in slight frustration.
"I keep forgetting that you guys are still kids," Mariko muttered under breath, not intending for Robyn to have heard it but still unremorseful when she realized the redhead had. "He's probably not the type to just give up on you. He knows your number, where you live, where you go to school, what universities you are planning to attend… Robyn, he could very easily turn into a dangerous, obsessive stalker."
Robyn's eyes widened at the truth of Mariko's words and bit her lower lip in worry. What the Hell was she going to do?! She couldn't bring Cye's mom into her mess of a life any further than the mother already was! What could she do to keep everyone safe? "Oh god…"
"Calm down," Mariko advised. "You've got enough on your platter as is. Just wait and see what happens. I could be wrong and he may leave you alone after he realizes that you're not going to tolerate him being abusive. Men like that don't like to stay with women who fight back or have as strong of a defense as you."
"Defense?" she blinked dubiously.
"Your boys."
"Oh…yeah…"
"Anyway, if he doesn't stop bugging you, you can always file for a restraining order."
Robyn frowned at that; as if she could afford that anyway. "I don't think that's going to happen. I can't afford a lawyer anyway so—"
"You go to the police, file a report and appeal for an order."
Robyn blinked at the simplicity of the older woman's answer. "It's that simple?"
Mariko nodded, smiling reassuringly. "You can wait as long as you like, you know."
"I know," Robyn sighed, looking up at the ceiling with a frown. Nothing could ever be easy for her, could it? She sighed again, legs dangling off the side of the bed and her hands folded atop her stomach. "Not like it will matter really. I probably won't survive this anyway, right?"
"You want me to lie?"
"Yes."
"All right. You'll survive, kick that bastard's ass all the way to the ends of the universe, come home and eat a gallon of ice cream in celebration of a job well done. Then you'll win the lottery and take a vacation to Las Vegas, where you'll blow all that money you won at the slots and tables."
Robyn felt the giggles build up inside her at the comment—more at the ice cream and Las Vegas part than anything else—and she finally laughed aloud. Well, the woman knew how to lighten a situation somewhat.
Mariko was silent for a moment before she reclined backwards on the bed, her legs dangling over the edge like Robyn's. Robyn could not help but smile at the understanding nature of the older woman. She always seemed to provide some slight ray of hope…
"This blows, you know," Robyn said, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled around them. "I feel like I'm always putting them in danger or that I'm always causing them trouble, and in a way I do. I'm an inconvenience to them…"
"I'm sure they don't see it that way, Robyn."
"Maybe not, but it's true. And what I said down there…there's more to it than me taking responsibility. I want to protect them, like they've protected me, you know?"
Mariko was silent, also staring at the ceiling. "It is understandable…and admirable of you to feel that way. But you also must realize that by being a Ronin Warrior, there will always be danger and trouble. That is part of the job description and they know it, even if they don't like it."
"I certainly don't like it…"
"Hai [yes]…but you don't fear this battle as much now, do you? Knowing that you are protecting them makes it easier to face, ne?"
Robyn's brow furrowed as she contemplated this, somewhat seeing what the older woman was getting at. "Sort of. Even though I'm scared shit-less, I still want to do this…"
"You're still going to face it."
"Yeah…"
"I have no doubts that they feel the same way."
"I guess you're right… Still isn't fair though."
Mariko heaved a heavy, defeated sigh in agreement. "Life rarely is, but it makes wonderful moments and memories worthwhile."
They once again laid in silence, staring up at the off-white ceiling of Robyn's room, both lost in their own thoughts. How long had it been since she had had a person sit and just listen to her problems, fears and wants without real judgment? Robyn could not say, but she was thankful that Mariko held no qualms in doing such a simple thing as listening. It made everything seem that much easier to bear, and that was what Robyn truly needed right now. Not to be coddled and protected, or to be coming up with some strategy and training schedule…but to be understood and told that what she wanted to do was not wrong but right.
The sun was sinking lower, growing closer to the horizon when Mariko shifted from her spot and sat up. Robyn blinked out of her stupor and looked at the older woman curiously. Mariko smiled reassuringly, explaining that she needed to head home and make sure her "family" didn't order pizza again for dinner. Robyn laughed at that and couldn't help saying that she really was a "mommy" when Mariko mentioned carrots for a vegetable with dinner. The green-haired woman chuckled, standing and stretching her arms behind her back as she popped her spine back into place.
As the two walked downstairs, they found the guys still conversing in the living room, although all conversation stopped the moment their presence was known. The boys tried to look innocent, but only a few of them were succeeding; Ryo could never lie and she could tell by the nervous smile on his face that they had been talking about her…or something that involved her. Oh, like that didn't scream suspicious…
Inwardly, she wanted to sigh and roll her eyes in exasperation but outwardly, opted to give them an unconvinced look. Mariko waved good-bye to them, saying that if they wanted to meet somewhere tomorrow, then she would bring the scrolls that the prophecies were written in and they could pour over it to their hearts content. Rowen and Ryo immediately agreed and Sage merely nodded, wanting to gain as much knowledge on what was going to happen.
"Well, I'll see you all some time tomorrow then," Mariko said in that congenial manner of hers. "I'll call tomorrow morning to set up a time."
Robyn nodded and the two of them walked to the front door. She absently noted that all of the guys had not moved, opting to watch and wait. She sighed and shook her head. She was so tired of all of this. Why couldn't she have been born normal or something?
"You'll be fine," was all Mariko said before she left the front step and headed to her red pick-up truck. Robyn gave a feeble smile to the woman and waved as she drove off. She watched the truck go down the road until it disappeared around a turn some 100 yards away.
"We need to keep Jayzen away from her."
The comment caught the attention of the other four occupants, the tone implying that the speaker was absolutely serious in his assessment. Most nodded in agreement, but Cye questioned the reasoning behind the "decision," knowing very well that Robyn would be upset with them if they started to forcibly keep them apart. But it didn't mean that he didn't agree with his friends.
"Not that I like the guy, but Robyn is not going to be happy about us getting involved."
"Yeah but…something about him is…" Ryo protested, his voice trailing off as he tried to think of the proper description for the dark, uncomfortable aura that normally radiated from the man in question. The others nodded in agreement, however, understanding what Ryo was trying to say. There was something disturbing about the man, but none of them could place their finger on what, save for one.
Sage had to bite his tongue to keep from revealing Robyn's secret. She had entrusted him with the whole truth and under normal circumstances he would not have cared much about keeping it from the others, but this time... This time, the look of fear and worry in her eyes had bothered him greatly. She was usually strong, undaunted by simple fears and he had never suspected that she would fear their reactions more than the man who had hit her.
It was not her normal behavior in his opinion and it had definitely made him realize how much all of their friendship meant to her. She was willing to solve the problem on her own than risk their involvement and losing them over a guy. Like she could get rid of them all that easily anyway… But he had promised not to say anything. Oh, how he wished he had not given his word now…
"Yeah, but…keeping her from him is so much easier said than done," Rowen commented, frowning in thought.
"You know, if you're going to talk about my life, the least you could do is include me," came the unexpected suggestion from the doorway of the living room. All heads turned to the redhead who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed and an unimpressed look on her face. At least three of the boys looked away guiltily.
With a huff of indignation, she moved to flop down on the floor by Cye's feet, a small frown of concentration on her face. "And for your information…I won't be seeing Jayzen anymore."
"Why?" Kento asked, giving her a confused look. She stared at the carpet, knowing that they deserved to be told and slightly cursing Sage for keeping his promise. She didn't really want to be the one who told them but she supposed that she could omit certain details if she wanted.
She shrugged her shoulders. "He did something I didn't like," she hedged, hoping that she wouldn't have to tell them that the guy had hit her. They would go through the roof if they found out!
"What'd he do?" Ryo asked her curiously and she continued to stare at the carpet.
Well, she should have known better. Nothing was ever easy for her. "He…hit me…" she said softly, waiting for the "boom" to be lowered.
"Hit as in—"
"He's got a pretty good right hook," she answered, giving them a humorless chuckle as she massaged the slightly tender spot of her jaw.
Ryo and Kento both shot off the couch in shock and anger. "What?!" they both yelled in unison. She gave them a bland look, expression telling them that they had heard her correctly. Rowen asked when it had happened and Cye asked her why she had not mentioned it earlier. She shrugged in response, which did not please any of them.
"Man, wait until I get my hands on that guy," Kento muttered, cracking his knuckles. Ryo's fists were clenched so tightly that the skin over his knuckles was white, and there was the darkest scowl on his face that Robyn had ever seen.
She smiled at them reassuringly, "It's okay, really. You don't have to get involved. It's something I can easily handle."
"And if he tries it again?" Rowen questioned, his voice laced with anger as well.
"Then you can rough him up," she teased, hoping to somewhat mollify her protective friends. "Seriously, I'm not worried about this. Mariko thinks he won't bother trying anything else, and I think she's right."
Her reasons were slightly vague but she was not showing any signs of being as afraid as she had been when she'd shown up at his place last night. She was brushing it off, Sage realized and he wasn't too sure if he was okay with that. The others seemed to be unhappily letting the subject drop and he did as well, but it didn't sit well with him. Regardless of whether she was okay now, she had been afraid last night and he remembered the fear in her eyes quite clearly as she had told him what had happened.
No, he was not happy about the situation at all and he was not going to be so civil if he and Jayzen ever crossed paths in the future. What he had done was unacceptable and Sage was going to make it clear to the man that Robyn had friends who would not sit back silently when she was being hurt.
"Hey, why don't we rent some movies or something?" Robyn suggested, only too eager to leave the subject of Jayzen behind her. Ryo, Kento and Rowen readily agreed, which left Cye and Sage to go along or be outnumbered. They went along.
It was early morning and try as she might, she could not fall asleep again. One would think that staring at the shadows on your ceiling for an hour would make you sleepy… but no, not her. She was still wired from all the events that had taken place in the last two days...added onto that, she was starting to feel a little sick to her stomach again…
Taking a deep breath in hopes of calming her nerves and stomach, she frowned up at the ceiling and wondered how her life had gotten so damn complicated again. She had hoped that with Nago gone, she would be able to have some semblance of a normal life. But of course, how normal could your life be when your best friend had a mystical armor? Worse yet, how normal were you when your soul was partly empty?
Her stomach churned and she rolled over in bed from the discomfort, a whimper escaping her as she did so. Reflexively, she curled herself into a ball and stared at the bookshelf across from her, not really seeing the books and odds and ends. The shadows crawling along the walls of her room were reminding her of the reason she'd jolted awake so early in the morning. The light patter of rain on the windowpanes had surrounded her room in a dull hum, which was probably what had triggered her nightmare to begin with.
She could still feel the cold marble she'd been placed on, her body loosely wrapped in a white cloth that clashed with the dark decorum of the room she'd been in. The chanting had resounded in her ears much louder than she'd originally remembered and the words were crisper and clearer than before. She remembered the fear that had run through her entire being, making it shake uncontrollably; and she remembered the pain. Oh how she remembered the pain…
It was difficult to describe it, which was one reason she had said nothing of that night to anyone. How could they understand when she couldn't even explain it? Something warm and flexible had been laid atop her stomach, a hand if she had to guess since she couldn't quite remember. She'd been too busy retching at that point to pay any real attention. And then the hand had left her, lifting upward before slamming back down on her abdomen with a force that was beyond humanly capable.
And that was when the pain had really started, the pain the she couldn't quite describe accurately in words. It was like having the worst cramps of her life, times a hundred, or as if her stomach was trying to tear itself into a million little pieces. She had vaguely wondered if the feeling had been similar to rape; but then she'd felt the pain in her soul, and had known that it was nothing like rape. Nothing could have prepared her for the utter desperation and the need to get away, to lose herself in the deepest recess of her mind in order to forget the pain and the world around her.
And then everything had turned to black, and she'd found herself floating in a dark mass of nothingness. She'd been relieved at first, for she had felt nothing—no pain, no sorrow, no desperation, nothing. But soon enough, the void had left her feeling out of place and unneeded, as if someone was already there to take care of what the void needed.
A child's giggle had made her realize that she indeed was not alone.
A boy stood in front of her, a boy who was no more than five years old. He was a cute boy, with dark hair and even darker eyes. The smile on his face was not what she would have expected to see on a child though. No, it was the smile of someone…evil. A sociopath maybe…
"Who are you?" she asked him. The boy continued to smile maliciously at her but kept silent, giving her a look that said she should know.
Unnerved, she swallowed the sudden lump in her throat and took a single step forward. "Who are you? Where are we? Do you know what's going on?"
The boy's image shifted, and a man stood in his place. His dark hair was long and straight, flowing down his back as if it were silk. His eyes were colder than the boy's, and they held a glint of malevolent intent; but it was still the same person, the man had been the boy only a moment before, this she could tell somehow.
A wicked grin spread across his lips and suddenly his hand shot towards her, gripping the front of her kimono. When had she been placed in a kimono? Her eyes widened in surprise and he jerked her towards him until they were nose to nose. The words that left his mouth had her trembling from the inside out.
"Hello, Mother."
Her body jerked as her eyes flew open, her body covered in a light sheen of sweat. Glancing around her, she assessed that she was in her room once more and that she was safe. Ironically, she'd fallen asleep while thinking of the very thing that continually woke her up in a cold sweat. Her stomach and abdomen were cramping now, as if she were on her cycle, and the throbbing ache in her lower back was starting to bother her. So with a groan of defeat, she hefted herself up and out of bed to head downstairs. She needed an Advil or something…
All was quiet as she headed downstairs, but of course it would be. It was freaking three in the morning. No sane person would be up at that hour. And she would be going right back to bed the moment she got some Advil in her. Or so she thought…
"Hey, what are you doing up?" a voice quietly asked her as she attempted to stealthily make her way to the kitchen. She paused and blinked, looking in the direction of the voice. Rowen was staring at her curiously from the kitchen table.
Well, Rowen didn't count as a sane person to begin with…
"I need an Advil," she told him truthfully, hoping that he would let her go back to bed quickly if she didn't skirt around the issue.
Concern flashed across his face at her statement and he quietly stood from his chair as she reached the cabinet with all the medicine. He stopped about a foot away from her but did nothing else, as if he were unsure of what to do. She sighed as she pulled the Advil bottle from the cabinet, opened it and pulled out a single tablet. One would be enough. She wasn't in that much pain.
"So…what's wrong?" he finally asked her and she gave him a bland look before replacing the bottle in the cabinet and heading to the fridge for a drink. While Cye could take his pills without any liquid, she could not.
"You don't want to know," she answered with a sigh of exhaustion. She quickly grabbed a water bottle, uncapped it and swallowed her pill. She glanced over her shoulder at Rowen when the young man remained silent. It was a bit strange for him to not make a retort, especially since it was a good opening.
His dark look was not something she was expecting and she froze in place, not really knowing what to do. She'd never really witnessed Rowen's temper, but knowing her guys, it was probably not a pretty sight. Why was he mad anyway? What right did he have to be mad at her?
"Actually, Robyn… I do want to know. We all do, but you won't tell us anything," he began, voice quiet but firm. "How are we supposed to help you, huh? We don't mind helping you, really we don't. But you gotta help us out too. You gotta tell us what's bugging you. Even if all we can do is listen so that you feel better, then we want to do it."
She shook her head in weariness, "That's not it, Rowen. That's not why I keep things to myself."
"Then why? Something minor, we don't mind letting it go, but something like this… This isn't something you should keep to yourself. You know that."
"I can't… I can't tell you guys," she stuttered, screwing the cap back onto her water bottle.
"Why?" he pressured, crossing his arms and giving her a look that said he wasn't going to let her get away from this subject. She dropped her water bottle onto the kitchen counter, giving him an unpleased look.
"I just can't. Believe me, if I felt I could tell you guys, I would."
"No good. Try again," he said, his mouth quirking upward slightly at her growl of frustration.
"Why are you being a pain about this?!" she hissed at him, keeping her voice low so that she didn't wake anyone in the other room.
"Why can't you tell us?"
"Because!"
"Because what?"
"Because I just can't!" she cried out in desperation, wanting to get away from where this conversation was headed.
"Why?"
"I don't know, okay? I don't—I don't know how…" she finally admitted, her voice cracking at the end, but her volume still low enough not to disturb the others. She wanted to tell them, she honestly did, but she just didn't know how. It was so hard to describe and she was so tired of pity, and she was afraid that they would pity her. And they would feel guilty. That was the last thing she wanted for them. It was her screw-up for not fighting hard enough, not theirs.
"What don't you know?" Rowen asked her gently and moving closer to her as tears began to well up and fall.
"I don't know," she whimpered softly, furiously wiping the tears from her face. They were quickly replaced with more though and she wiped the new ones away too, ignoring Rowen as he came to stand next to her. "I don't know how to tell you—I don't know how—I can't—I can't describe it."
A hand fell onto her shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze; "You can't describe what?"
"The ceremony…when they did this to me," she half-sobbed, hitting her stomach for emphasis and not caring if it hurt or not. Her stomach tightened slightly at the unexpected action and she could feel Totoyami stir in the back of her mind. She quickly forced him back into his slumber not wanting anything to do with him right then. He mumbled something to her and allowed himself to fall dormant again, but she hardly noticed it as she realized that she had let slip what she had tried so hard to keep quiet.
She turned away from Rowen then and moved to go back upstairs but he lightly grabbed her shoulders, effectively stopping her. She swallowed the sobs that were now trying to make their way out. Why was she crying like this? When did she lose so much of her resolve not to cry about this?
"It's okay," he told her, and she rounded on him, eyes wide.
"Okay? Okay?! How is it okay?! I was scared! I couldn't move! I couldn't do anything but scream! It hurt so bad! It hurt so bad that I just wanted it to stop!" she cried softly to him, balling up her fists in frustration and defeat.
"But they didn't and we didn't get there soon enough. We're so sorry, Robyn," Rowen soothed, or tried to since she was too riled to be calm now.
"They didn't…and I was so scared… And it hurt. And I didn't want it! I don't want it, Rowen! I just want to be left alone! I don't want anything supernatural or magical to involve me! Not like this! I don't want it!" she sobbed, allowing him to pull her to him for a hug.
"I know…and we're sorry," he apologized, holding her as she gripped his t-shirt and cried. He had known that it wouldn't take much to get her to confess. They could all see how taut her restrain had been growing. It was only a matter of time before she finally broke-down. He just helped it along a little. And now that he knew what she was keeping to herself…
"I didn't want it… I didn't want it to be like this," she cried into his chest, allowing him to comfort her. And he held her, knowing that it was all he could do for her right then.
"Everything okay?" a sleepy but concerned voice asked.
Rowen looked up at the half-awake countenance of Cye who was making his way over to them. He gave his friend a lop-sided grin.
"Yeah, she just finally cracked," he replied. Cye blinked at him a few times before frowning.
"What?"
"She finally broke down and told me what she's been hiding."
"Oh," was all Cye said, knowing that Rowen would tell them in the morning, if Robyn herself didn't. He placed a hand on top of the messy, red mop of hair that was his friend and began to run his fingers through it. It was a soothing motion and eventually her sobs subsided to hiccups.
She pulled away from Rowen just enough to look at Cye over her shoulder. He smiled at her, that same smile he had given her all those years ago when they'd been kids. It was that same smile that told her things would work out somehow and that he would be there for, always. She smiled back at him.
"You ready to go back to bed now?" he asked, "Or do I need to make you something to drink?"
She timidly shook her head, knowing that the Advil she'd taken would be enough to knock her back to sleep. "No…I'm fine."
"You sure?" Rowen asked her and again she nodded.
"Yeah. But…" she trailed off, looking away for a moment and biting her lip. Cye recognized the gesture and chuckled.
"I'll get another pillow," he answered and left the kitchen to head upstairs for said object.
Robyn pulled away from Rowen and clasped her hands in front of her, slightly embarrassed. "Um…thanks…I didn't mean to—"
"I don't mind, and know the others don't," he answered, cutting her off with a reassuring grin. "Don't be afraid to tell us anything, even if you don't know how."
"Okay," she acquiesced, looking at the floor and feeling very much like a child. 'Which is totally stupid since it's Rowen we're talking about,' she mentally told herself, trying to get over her embarrassment for getting so emotional.
"Well…maybe not everything. There are some things I really don't want to know about, like…like…" he said, trying to think of an example.
"Like sex and periods?" she supplied automatically, not even having to give much thought to her answer. Well that showed that she was feeling back to normal.
Rowen made a face and nodded, "Yeah…like that…"
She giggled and smiled innocently at Cye as he returned. He gave the two of them a suspicious look and Robyn shook her head. "This time, you really don't want to know."
Cye looked to Rowen for confirmation and with a look of queasiness, the blue-haired youth nodded. "She's right; you really don't want to know about this one."
With a shake of the head, the bearer of Torrent motioned for them to follow him to the living room. Robyn did so, feeling as if some weight had been lifted off of her chest and she felt relieved. Some of the strain was gone now that she had blabbed things to Rowen, and strangely, she felt better now.
"Here," Cye informed her, shifting his blankets over and dropping her pillow near his. She smiled gratefully and plopped down on the floor, pulling the blanket partially over her since she would be sharing it with him. As Cye lay down next to her, Robyn watched as Rowen moved to his own sleeping space and stretched himself out on the floor and blankets.
Her gaze wandered over to the people asleep on the floor and as she took in each peaceful expression, she smiled again. She felt safe here, safer than she had upstairs despite knowing that they weren't far away. Secure in the knowledge that she was indeed safe now, she easily fell into a deep sleep, where no nightmares or memories could reach her. She didn't even recall when her eyes had originally slipped shut, nor the gentle brush of hair from her face as Cye whispered "good night."