Masaki would be graduating next week and a decision must be made.
Or rather, I have to make a decision.
By some miracle the choice of what future Masaki would have was given to me. I suppose her little mishap with that idiot shinigami and the hollow poisoning she received are the reason why. A superficial concern about her eligibility as an Echt I'm sure, not any actual concern for her as a person.
After all, to the clans of Gemischt we Echt are to be preserved at all cost. For all the status we have as Echt, we are little more than birds in gilded cages, our wings strong yet bound. Our air of leadership is a sham. We are stronger than the Gemischts, even given better training, yet it is strength never used because of the fear that we just might fall.
Fall like Masaki did.
I never told her, let alone anyone else, what had to happen, what I allowed to happen, so that she could live. Only Katagiri and myself knew that I had turned to shinigami for help, that I had only been the legs to carry her to where she needed to be. But even Katagiri didn't know that the hollow, the sickness, still in Masaki was only held back by a shinigami stupid enough to give up everything for a woman he barely even knew. No one but I and those shinigami knew that her human life depended on the continued self-banishment of a shinigami captain. And they didn't need to know either.
Let them worry about the "cured" hollow poisoning, the aftereffects of getting tainted. Although to them, that consists of whether or not she should still get married to me.
As for me, I never particularly wanted to marry her in the first place. It's not that I don't care for her, I just don't like her that way. She's too much of a stupid little sister for me to consider her otherwise. I also know that she never saw me that way either. But all they see is two Echt, two people who can together keep the purity going one generation longer. It disgusts me that they are so shallow. But what does it say about me that I can't even bring myself to voice anything close to that except in private with Katagiri?
It's why I don't deserve to protect the Quincy.
I can see what is wrong with us, the stagnation and decay caused by clinging to the old ways, the bloodlines, but I can't bring myself to do anything. I'm stuck and I can't seem to find the strength to break these chains. I can't be a free spirit like Masaki and the idiot shinigami, saving a life by breaking the rules today because I would hate myself for not doing it tomorrow. And I hate myself for that.
I hate myself because I know that if our positions were reversed, I wouldn't have saved her. I wouldn't have been able to give up everything I know for a person I'd only met once before like that idiot did. I would have found my continued efforts as a leader and pillar of strength as more valuable than the life of a single person. I can't protect the Quincy if I can't bring myself to do that much.
So I've decided to give up being a Quincy. I won't use my powers beyond necessity, if at all. I will save lives in a more traditional way, with medicine. I've already begun the schooling necessary to become a first-rate doctor. Is this the right choice to atone for my failure? I don't know.
Hah… but I have to do one thing right. I have to let her go.
My decision is to let Masaki leave and make her own way in the world.
It will be tough for her I'm sure, but she's tough, she'll make it. And I know she won't be alone, that idiot will stick with her. I've watched Masaki sneak out to see him and I can tell that unlike me, she loves him. He's probably too dense a moron to know that and Masaki is little better, but they'll figure it out, eventually.
So I'm letting her go and wishing her luck. May she find happiness wherever it is she goes. And if she has kids with that idiot, Reio help us all. That kind of sheer, bullheaded recklessness the worlds do not need.
Author's Note
So I finally did someone besides Isshin. If you somehow haven't figured it out yet, this is Ryuuken. It was inspired by Isshin's comment that Masaki moved out after graduation and that it was probably is way of letting go of Masaki. It's interesting to do someone who is characterized as so cynical yet everyone knows has a soft spot for family. And I liked his parting comment.
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