Chapter 3 | Normalizing

June, X795

Lucy's courage to go back to the guild diminished with every additional day she stayed home. Over the last two weeks she had gone a couple times to make a point to everyone that she was okay, but she couldn't bring herself to keep walking through those guild doors. Apparently sometime during her recent five day absence from the guild, Natsu had returned from where ever he ran off to. Mira had stopped by to let her know, but Lucy didn't make any comment suggesting that she cared.

After two more days, she found herself lying on her stomach with her face to the floor. Among the hundreds of thoughts going through her head, a particularly morbid realization came to her— if she allowed herself to feel any worse, then she would be better off dead. The idea that she would give up so completely shocked her back to reality. Lucy had her time to cry, be sad, and feel sorry for herself. Now she had to get back to work and see all her friends before they broke down her door to check on her. She got ready and headed out to the guild prepared for whatever life would throw at her.

She walked into the guild, head held high and layers of makeup under her eyes. She made a beeline for the request board, picked the easiest job there and told Mira, who welcomed her back cheerfully like nothing was amiss. Lucy went to sit with Gray, Erza, Wendy and Charla who also acted as if nothing happened. Lucy silently thanked everyone for not making a big deal out of her "break-up". Though Lucy never thought of her relationship with Natsu as something conventional enough to use that kind of term. It felt good to get back to the guild and see the others. Everything almost seemed normal. Somewhere during their conversation, Gray mentioned Natsu's return and everyone at the table shot him a dirty look then cast a worried glace at Lucy. "It's alright. I was actually going to ask how he was doing." Lucy laughed nervously, but the sudden attention made her feel like running back to her covers.

"You should take a look for yourself." Gray nodded his head and looked straight past her. Lucy cautiously turned around to see Natsu heading toward the request board with Happy flying right behind. A weight fell on her chest. She couldn't breathe. Simply seeing him again made her heart start beating erratically.

"Aww man, someone took that aquarium request!" Happy started whining and flew around in circles when he saw the flyer missing.

Lucy looked down at her flyer. She casually flipped it face down on the table hoping no one else saw.

"Well it hardly paid anything anyway. Let's do this one." Natsu ripped a page off the board and went to the bar. He talked with Mira for a bit, then began walking to the table where Lucy sat with her heart pounding out of her chest.

Lucy felt tempted to hide under the table, but restrained. "Hey guys!" Natsu smiled and even glanced at Lucy without even a glimmer of sadness in his eyes.

"Natsu," Erza spoke coolly in a way that made him cringed.

"Yes?" he said cautiously.

"Is that the Lukata request?"

Natsu looked down at his flyer. "No..."

"You should bring someone along. The request seems simple, but it's in a dangerous area."

"Nah, I'll be fine. I've done three jobs in the last two days with almost the same description, it will be easy!"

"Gray go with him." Erza said resolutely and looked at Natsu, daring him to refuse her.

Gray slammed his hands down on the table. "Why do I gotta go with him?! The moron's fine to go by himself."

"No way in hell is he coming along! Over my dead body!" Natsu yelled at not one in particular. Natsu then grabbed Gray's coat collar, "And who are you calling a moron, ice-princess?"

Gray pushed Natsu's arms away and ripped off his coat. "You better shut that mouth of yours before I shut it for you."

"Go ahead and try, stripper."

Lucy couldn't take her eyes away from Natsu. Whatever he did during his disappearance from the guild must have really worked. He acted exactly the same as before, smiling, yelling, and picking fights. If she didn't know him better, she would have thought he were perfectly fine. But he couldn't be, right? Shouldn't he at least seem a little sad? Lucy didn't understand. She had been, and continued to be, absolutely miserable. To make it worse, he had already worked three jobs in the couple days she had to stay home because she couldn't pull herself together. She felt her eyes begin to sting. After having such a strong bond for years, he had gotten over her in a matter of weeks. It was only decent to show some emotion, as if he missed her, yet here he had resumed his normal life while she could barely function.

Lucy quietly stood up from the table and backed away. Natsu, Gray, and Erza continued their fight while ignoring Wendy's attempts at diffusing the situation. The only one not partaking in the lively activities was Happy. For the first time that day, Lucy saw sadness look her way. Happy stared at her with big, watery eyes, and she stared back feeling the urge to break down into tears. Happy looked as miserable as she felt. Lucy wondered why Happy would be upset after seeing how perfectly fine Natsu was. She didn't stay to find out. Lucy snuck away and headed to the guild's back door.

Natsu knew immediately when she was out of audible and visible range, and instantly stopped fighting. Erza and Gray stopped throwing punches and commands as soon as they realized he no longer responded. They looked for Lucy and saw that she had left. A somber tone fell over the group. Natsu sat down at the table and rested his head on his arms. Pretending wasn't going to work for him.

"It will be okay Natsu." Natsu heard Wendy's small voice and felt her pat his shoulder. He seriously doubted that.

Lucy ran home. Her heart beat pounded in her ears, her vision was blurred from the tears, and her legs felt like lead, but she ran until she crashed through her apartment and made it to her bed. Deep down she knew he cared, and this was his way of coping, but she hated feeling as unimportant as a complete stranger.

"Araaagghh! I hate you Natsu!" Lucy punched the pillow on her mattress, "How can you just be fine? I haven't slept in three days and I can hardly even eat! I miss you so much I can't stand it. Couldn't you at least show me something so I know I'm not alone in this? Natsu..."