V for Viking

Author's Note: I can't really think of anything witty or relevant to put here.

Second Author's Note Added Well After That First, Naïve Author's Note: So yea, this one took a while. I had this chapter brewing for a while but I couldn't get it to sit right with me for the longest time. Let me know your thoughts, as always.

Chapter 9

I stood alone in my quarters, in the largest saw-mill Berk has; it happened to be the farthest major building from both Stoic and Spitelout and bordered the forest. Isolated. Sturdy. It makes for a great location for us to work on preparations and allows us to send people into the forest to hunt for food.

In my quarters, there are papers adorning all of the walls; all of them are copied from the War Room, but I insisted on having my own set to stare at. There's a map of Berk (though the maker was slightly hurried so it wasn't perfectly accurate, not that it would matter) and a chart of all major and mid-major players in this fight. I have all sorts of notes scribbled under each of them.

Locked in my desk, written in code, are my notes on Hiccup. I needed somewhere to write them down and look them over, even if I had to change all the names associated.

Currently, I'm sitting at the desk looking over what I had just written. Fishlegs was due to come in any minute to look it over for spelling mistakes and other errors before giving to the team ready to copy it. I have to make sure I'm careful, though; this is more than a proposition, it's a mission statement. Anyone who sees this will take its literal meaning as the purpose for me raising troops, and if it comes across wrong I could lose support.

It's also a chance for me to reassure myself that I am not, in fact, subconsciously trying to take over Berk. This is my chance to put it in writing that I want to preserve Berk, not take it for myself, and if I say it right then I can further undermine Stoic and Spitelout's forces.

I, Astrid Hofferson the Loyal and Faithful, declare that Stoic and Spitelout are currently ill-fit to lead as they are both too emotionally compromised and are not thinking with the best interest of Berk in mind. I swear that any action I make will not be to bolster my own standing, but to preserve Berk by keeping them from tearing us apart. If they wish to tear each-others' throats out, they may do so; but as long as I am here they will not kill my brothers and sisters.

I looked it over again and again, pondering if I could say it any better. Or shorter; Vikings aren't the most literate of people, so the shorter the better. I'm hoping that I come off as dutiful and dedicated and that I can ride a wave of pride to sway people. Surely there are men and women who are just picking a side because they think that it is the best option to keep their family safe, and if I can bring those people to my side then Stoic and Spitelout may see how much the village wants peace.

I decided it was the best I could do, and had just finished signing it when Fishlegs walked in.

"Ah, good timing. Here, read over it and tell me if anything needs changing. Actually, you know what, if it needs it just do it; I don't feel that I need to tell you that we don't want this war."

Fishlegs nodded and took the paper. He had left the majority of his family when he defected to my side, mainly because he doesn't truly have the stomach for bloodshed; he's brilliant and clever and built like a stone wall, but prefers to stay behind the scenes or just working to improve mechanical things around the village. In a way, he's a lot like what I would imagine Hiccup would have become (minus the towering appearance) had—well, had he not gone through hell. If I'm completely honest that's a large reason of why I promoted him so quickly.

I shuddered at the fleeting thought of Fishlegs murdering everyone he knew like Hiccup does now.

"Any news from the front?"

"Nope. Lunch time like now is always quiet, but all scouts have indicated that there doesn't seem to be another battle brewing today. Stoic is salvaging whatever he can from surrounding halls and Spitelout's forces are half-split between defense and fishing excursions. If this holds, it will be a great day to deliver our statements." Fishlegs replied while still reading over my statement.

After a few moments of silence, I asked him for his thoughts on it. He continued to stare it down, but eventually declared he found it to be good and then excused himself to take it to the War Room where our copy-team was waiting.

"Oh, and Fish…" I called out as he started to exit the door, "I'm going to take a walk for a few hours to clear my head, since there shouldn't be any fights. If something does happen…"

"I know, I know, I'm in charge. Scout, Announce, Intervene, Recruit; same steps as always…" he replied half-mockingly. I had implemented our standard procedure early on in the hopes that it would keep the men from getting out of hand if and when we did join a battle.

Scout: obvious step, as it is always best to know what you're getting into.

Announce: We don't do sneak attacks because we aren't intending to kill anyone. We will if we have to, but I think it is better if they know we are there and what we are there to do.

Intervene: This is where we pick up the swords. Typically I try to engage both sides in a flank that happens right at the point where the two forces meet, which forces them to acknowledge my presence and divide their attention or retreat. It's worked pretty well so far.

Recruit: The most important part is letting the opposing warriors know that we want to preserve Berk, and that our cause is worth fighting for (which implies that theirs is not). Every time I knock someone's weapon away or pull up on a killing blow, I remind them that they aren't my enemy. That's an extremely powerful tactic that earns you a lot of good will.

Once Fishlegs closed the door, I made sure to lock the drawer with my Hiccup-notes before grabbing my stuff. Axe, armor, the works; you never know who might come across you, so as a leader of a small army, it helps to be prepared.

My quarters didn't have its own outdoor exit, but seeing as it is on the second story I made sure to have a rope brought up to my window as an emergency escape route. At least, it was originally for emergencies; now it just helped me escape the pressures of running an army.

I slid down the rope, and once I hit the ground I scanned the area from left to right. No people as far as I could see, until I looked to my far right; literally right against the wall where I had landed was Hiccup in his full black armor and mask.

I instinctively reached for my axe, but Hiccup gently caught my wrist while giving me a 'shush' expression with the other.

"Do you want to go for a ride?" He asked in a hushed tone, much to my surprise.

"…do I want to—is that a euphemism!?" I replied, only for him to point straight up. I followed his finger with my line of sight to see a Deadly Nadder standing on the roof, with its head poked over the head at us.

Before I could do anything it seemed, it had jumped down and picked us up before flying off unseen by the dozens of Vikings inside.

The first fifteen seconds sucked as it held each of us with a different claw, but once we got some distance away from the village it stopped to let us properly hop aboard.

"Well, go ahead." Hiccup encouraged, giving me the front seat. I gave him a funny look (channeling it from how weird this scenario was) but hopped aboard anyways.

"You aren't going to stab me in the back, are you?" I asked sardonically as he climbed aboard and say behind me.

"Only if you try to kill me for hanging on once we take off." He replied equally cynically.

Some part of me tensed as I realized that he would have to wrap himself around me to hold on, but I decided to ignore that for now.

However, I did not ignore it fast enough as the dragon took off again while I was still distracted, sending my stomach into loops.

And I refuse to think that any of the stomach flops could have come from the murderer whose arms were now wrapped around me.

Once we were in the air, those feelings stopped; ALL feelings stopped. We gently flew high above the island, occasionally dipping in and out of the clouds, and I spent considerable effort on trying to concentrate on everything around me.

The view was gorgeous; the wind felt euphoric on my skin; the exhilaration of speed made everything slow down. It was immediately addicting, and that doesn't even mention the feeling of pure freedom that radiated throughout the whole experience.

Hiccup chuckled from his perch on my shoulder, watching me take it all in.

"I remember my first time; of course, I almost died, but you seem to be enjoying it without that added bonus…" he remarked playfully at first, but began to trail off towards the end. He seemed to get…sadder as he spoke.

"How did you discover this?"

Hiccup stiffened for a few seconds, before releasing his tension as he spoke.

"I…shot down my best friend—T-Toothless—and had to build him a new tailfin in order to fly. I kinda had to ride with him to make it work, though."

"Wait… when was this? When did you ever shoot down a dragon?" I asked somewhat incredulously.

"Oh you know, in between being a disappointment to my father and being castrated by the village…" Hiccup replied darkly, though with a strong mocking undertone.

"…didn't you say Toothless was a…? You mean that raid you…?" I startled fumbling words out of my mouth before I could even decide what I wanted to say.

"You shot down a Night Fury?" I asked completely incredulously.

"That about sums it up. The village's worst specimen shot down the Dragons' greatest. Irony is the purest form…"

After that, the conversation lulled into a somewhat awkward silence, though I was trying my best to focus on the incredible feeling of flight rather than wonder what was really going on.

But I couldn't hold off long enough; I eventually cut through the silence.

"Hiccup…Why are we here?" I asked pointedly.

"I dunno. It's one of life's great mysteries…are we just the byproduct of some cosmic coincidence, or are there really gods with plans for us?" Hiccup replied in a serious tone but obviously mocking intentions.

"Very funny; don't deflect. What are we doing up here? I thought we were enemies here, or at the very least adversaries…"

"And that means we can't still be friends?" He replied curtly, but unlike pretty much everything else up to this point, he was being genuine.

"Uh…well-but…yes, kinda!" I sputtered out, unable to find an answer to such an unusual question immediately.

"Then I don't understand why. We have radically different views on the world, and are both walking paths that will ultimately end in a bloody battle to resolve our philosophies, but that doesn't mean we can't put that aside for one evening to be friends, does it?"

"It usually does…" I stated in a matter-of-fact way, but trailed off towards the end as I began to think. I've never met someone who wanted to be friends when we weren't being enemies; I mean I haven't ever heard of such a thing.

"You really want to do that? I thought you came back to Berk to kill everyone here…"

Hiccup took a deep breath, and slightly squeezed his arms (still around me, by the way) before answering my question.

"When I came back to Berk…I came with a set expectation of you all, and specific expectations for a lot of individuals. So far, everyone I met or interacted with fell in line with what I expected perfectly; everyone was exactly who I thought needed to die…

"Except you. I can't figure you out for the life of me; I can predict most of your moves, but every once in a while you do something that I didn't expect…something contrary to what I believe about you. I don't think—you…you aren't like them, Astrid. There's something more to you. Unfortunately, whatever it is about you is dead-set on protecting your village, so I'm hoping that…I don't know, that maybe you'll see things the way I do. Or maybe you'll make me see things your way."

He let a long pause set in before capping of what he said.

"I guess I'm hoping that before this is over, you've given me reason to not kill you…"

I took a lot of time to process this, and Hiccup just sat there holding on to me as I thought.

If I just looked at the words Hiccup said, I would be remarkably underwhelmed and honestly a little freaked out. But I can't ignore the emotion Hiccup spoke with; the raw care, the desperate conflict, and most importantly…the small spark of hope. That's what I've been looking for (or at) the whole time, even if I didn't know it. That's the reason I have played along with his awful actions. That's the reason that I've been mesmerized by him since he returned. Despite everything that he's been through and despite how twisted and evil he has chosen to be, there's that small spark of hope inside of him that could save him.

I just need to know how to make it grow.

"Alright, Hiccup. If you think we should be friends for the rest of the day, then I'll do it. But you have to promise me that you tell me the truth when I ask you something, okay?"

"Sure. What are friends for, after all…"

An hour later, after landing on a small island outcropping then catching fish for dinner, eating them, and making small talk the whole time, both Astrid and Hiccup sat against the side of a Nadder, simply staring out at the ocean.

As one conversation died, instead of starting another meaningless one, Hiccup decided to cut into something deeper.

"Seeing you riding for the first time…that brought back a lot of good memories, but… it hurts…" he chose his words carefully, and the sentiment behind them was evident.

This is the first time he has opened up without prodding, so I need to be ultra-sensitive not to force him to close up again. But I also need to gain as much insight as I can as quickly as I can.

"Well, since you tried to explain why you aren't crazy because you can hear these dragons speak, what was Toothless like?" I added a careful measure of sarcasm before my question, mainly because Hiccup has shown a propensity for sarcasm and an appreciation of it, and I knew that it wasn't likely to offend him much.

"Heh…that stupid son of a gun was complex to say the least. He was as proud and arrogant as they come, with good levels of sass and sarcasm, but he was also the greatest companion you could ask for and had a knack for reading into situations with very little information. He always knew when a good ribbing was due versus when a helpful ear was needed. And he was always around… we were sorta all each other had left."

"I'm…sorry." I said empathetically but without thought. "He sounds…he sounds like a better friend than I could ever be to anyone. I can see why losing him would be so hard…

"Would you mind…telling me the story of how he…of how you lost him?"

I looked over to see him looking at me, and we locked eyes. I made sure to keep my eyes as soft and as welcoming as possible, and he just stared into them as he thought. We were only a foot apart (Nadders aren't the widest dragon around) and I couldn't tell how much time passed as I stared back into his eyes.

And try as I might, I would be lying to tell myself that I wasn't lost in them. As strange and as confusing as it was to be gazing into the eyes of a murderer and an enemy, I couldn't bring myself to break away from staring into the eyes of my friend.

"Well… we had just come back from a large tour of the far South. We had seen things you wouldn't believe and had experienced so many difference worlds that we were spoiled. People down there didn't idolize plunder or war, and they were bloodthirsty upon sighting a dragon. They were reasonable people, who practiced diplomatic solutions to problems such as a dragon rider or two strolling into town. When we came back to the Archipelago, we wanted to show everyone that peace was possible. We wanted to stop the fighting and show the villages that dragons weren't our enemies… The first village we came to seemed welcoming (for Vikings) and invited me to speak before the Council. Toothless…was uneasy about it, but I had always thought that chief Thuggory (or Thug as I knew him) was a good guy so we went…"

He paused and looked over at me with pain evident in his eyes, and I gasped at the implication.

"No…" I mumbled.

"He took two spears in the wing during the ambush, and after I slit Thuggory's throat he told me we had to leave. The rest of the village was waiting outside, and Toothless tossed me in the air where one of the Nadders was hovering and ordered her to get me safe. That was the last time I saw him; we locked eyes as I was screaming in hurt and rage. Ten minutes later, when I had rallied every dragon I had waiting nearby, I wiped out every single one of those barbarians. I personally slit the throat of over half of the island, and I always, always made sure to kill the children in front of their fucking parents. Nothing was enough, though. None of that changed the fact that his body lay there lifeless. None of it mattered…and none of this will mater. The violence just takes my mind of off it, but that's eventually numbed. I need more creative ways to kill, more pain induced, more intense moments to dull the ache. And when that's not enough…" he trailed off, looking down at a small knife in his hands. "…then I guess I'll be out of options…"

"What the fuck, Hiccup? Like what the actual FUCK?!" I exclaimed, surprising both of us. Me especially. "What gives you the right to turn into a monster!? You aren't the only one who has ever been lied to, or ever lost someone! You want to hide behind your precious crusade against Vikings and pretend that your intentions are pure enough to justify the fact that you are AS MUCH A VIKING AS THERE EVER WAS! One thing goes wrong, one person close to you dies, and you just succumb to rage and kill everything in sight! Gods, you're just like your father!"

I seethed as I finished my rant, having long before stood upon and paced back and forth as I verbally berated Hiccup. As I cooled off, I took the opportunity to examine Hiccup. He wasn't as shaken or angered at my speech as he should have been; he didn't seem to react much at all. He seemed as if he was just accepting my wrath as some small form of punishment, which is good I suppose. That shows that there is still a part of him that feels guilty for what he's done and that side of him is strong enough to win a few battles with his hate.

But still, it felt like he was taking this all too well. There must be something that is getting him through it; some thought or fact that he takes comfort in, something that I don't know of. Some reason I am not aware of that helps him justify all he's done.

"Who…who else did they take from you, Hiccup? It wasn't just Toothless, was it?"

He visibly startled at my revelation and looked at me with surprise in his eyes. That all but confirmed that is wasn't just Toothless.

"I…I had a family, Astrid. People who cared for me…people who I cared for. When I left Berk, I was…lonely. No—alone. I was alone. This place screwed me up pretty good…it took me years to realize that I needed I new family. No more running, no more fighting…I needed something permanent." He admitted quietly as I still stood above him. He struggled to make eye contact and when he did, he couldn't hold it. "I found people like me. Outcasts, screw-ups, hiccups. At first, we were all friends, but as time went on we found something more. Not anything romantic or desperate…we just found a connection we had all lacked. A sense of belonging. The feeling that people loved you and supported you through anything…"

There was a long pause; Hiccup saw fit to saw nothing and wouldn't bring his gaze back to mine, and I was too shocked to even remember how to speak.

"There was Rin, always lighthearted and optimistic, right up until Thuggory cut his head off…

"And little Rora, as fierce and playful as a Valkyrie. If she still had her arms she would be sparring in Valhalla now.

"And Pirrah, who was impaled with an arrow… And Tlake, who was stabbed repeatedly…

"All of them, dying in front of me because I was so STUPID as to trust you fucking Vikings! I had to watch all of them die from a cage! One by one they were picked off like it was some sort of sick game! You think that I'm awful for putting out the fire?! You should have seen it at full blaze, Astrid; it will haunt me the rest of my life."

He finally made eye contact with me, and his eyes told a magnificent and confusing tale; so much pain and fire mixed with sadness and despair, and all blended into two magnificent green orbs that were glassed over at the moment.

A minute passed after he had torn his eyes away to look at the grass.

"I should go. You should go. We aren't going to solve anything doing this…this was. This was a mistake. I'm sorry I dragged you out here, Astrid. I'll have you dropped back off outside your headquarters."

Before I could stop him or say a word, he hopped up and leaped off the cliff, only to be caught by a Zippleback that had apparently been waiting below for quite some time. After this, the Nadder allowed me back on its back before it took of back towards the village.

I was silent the rest of the night. Sunset had almost completed by the time I got back inside headquarters, and I walked past some scribes busy transcribing my statement from earlier. Too emotionally tired from the talks I had had with Hiccup, I didn't bother saying hello and was rather agitated when one of them asked me to stop.

"Uh, Ma'am, are you sure this is what you want to say?" One of the scribes asked nervously, causing all the other scribes to stop and look at him. Apparently he had asked something they all were curious about.

"Yes, just hurry up and get them posted. Fishlegs and I hammered out the statement earlier today." I responded grumpily, and that was enough for them.

Though it was barely night, I decided to go to sleep as soon as I got in my quarters. No note taking, no strategy planning, just a well-needed night of sleep.

In the morning, I was woken up way too early by frantic knocks at my door. I begrudgingly got up to answer the door to find a panicked Fishlegs invite himself into my room.

"What happened, Astrid?!" He exclaimed nervously, not leaving me any time to reply. "It's all gone backwards, people have been abandoning us left and right! Why did you change the statement!?"

"What!? What changes to the statement? I gave it to you and left for the night!" I responded defensively.

"The whole part about not wanting to stake a claim to the chiefdom is gone! Your signed, authorized statement says that you intend on showing Stoick and Spitelout what a real Viking does as you conquer them both! We had men and women deserting us and going back to Stoick and Spitelout!"

"WHAT!? How many!?"

He never responded, so I had to ask again. Everyone knows that bad things happen if I have to ask twice.

"Fishlegs. How. MANY?"

"I…it seems that the battle for Berk is now an equal three-way war, or we might even be at a disadvantage now…" Fishlegs mumbled.

A thought ran through my head. Hiccup must have done this, but how? He was with me the whole time, and he is the only person who would have the motive to sabotage something like me personal statement. Is it possible that one of his dragons baited and switched Fishlegs or one of the carriers of the original statement?

That doesn't seem likely, but I suppose it doesn't matter. Whatever the means, Hiccup had pretty much just insured that I wouldn't be able to unite Berk under the banner of unity. It would take way too long to undo whatever damage this would cause.

Barring a miracle, Hiccup had just ensure Berk's self destruction.