A Flicker of Light In The Darkness

Chapter 5

Everything Goes Awry

Kitty had settled Matt at a table with a beer and then gone up to get Calleigh settled in. She seemed to be gone forever, but she finally reappeared at the top of the stairs. With a nod to Sam, she grabbed a fresh beer and sat down next to Matt. He was still uneasy about this whole situation. "I thought you got lost," he grumbled, as he reached for his beer.

"Jealous, Cowboy?" One corner of her mouth turned up in a sly smile. She tugged playfully on his arm.

"Well, she is taking a lot of your time," he growled and pulled his arm away.

Suddenly, Kitty didn't see any humor in this conversation, or his actions. His tone had been curt and, she sensed, almost hostile. "Did something happen today?"

He pursed his lips and offered a shrug. "Now what could happen? She's a great kid. You love her. Doc loves her. Festus. Hell—everybody in Dodge loves her."

Kitty leaned back, looking at Matt as though she didn't know him. "What's the matter with you?"

Matt started to take a drink, then reconsidered and set his glass back down. "Nothing is the matter with me! Kitty, what is it you expect to do with this child?"

"Nothing; I just wanted you two to be friends."

"Why? Is she settling here in Dodge?"

"Well, would it be so bad? I mean, she needs someone."

"Why does that 'someone' have to be you? You don't really know anything about her. Kitty, are you planning on keeping that girl? This isn't just another one of your rescues...is it? You actually plan on keeping her… And what—raising her like your own?"

Matt was throwing questions and accusations at Kitty so much faster than she could comprehend, let alone respond to. "Well… I don't know-"

Right at this moment, he just wanted the girl gone. He didn't want whatever was in this child's past, to somehow break Kitty's heart. He was becoming almost frantic, and his words demonstrated as much, "You know, there's more to raising a child than dressing her in frilly little clothes and taking her to lunch. She's not a doll."

Kitty recoiled as if she had been struck. "I know she's not a toy!"

"And what about us? Is there still an 'us'?" His frustration had finally exploded before his common sense could cap it. He felt like she was slipping away from him, and it terrified him. "Because it doesn't feel like there is an us. I haven't seen you for two weeks."

"Is that what you're really worried about?! Are you afraid of how this is going to affect you? That you won't have a place to sneak into at night; a place that doesn't require a commitment? Because a child would mean commitment! Well don't worry, I wouldn't ask you to make a commitment to either of us. And if I had any doubts, you just made up my mind...YES, I'm keeping her."

Kitty leapt to her feet, bumping against the table and knocking over the mug of beer. Matt grabbed her hand and she flashed him a look he had never seen. Well...he had seen it,but not directed at him. "Kitty, please." His voice had assumed a more caring tone. "Sit down. Let's talk."

"Marshal Dillon, if you don't take your hand off me, you'll be wearing that other beer." Kitty bit off each word, fighting to control her rage. Matt thought for a moment and decided retreating would be his best move at this time. He released her and she disappeared back up the stairs.

Kitty paced frantically across her bedroom, so angry, she wanted to break something. She reached for the crystal vase, then remembered—Matt had bought it for her in Denver. Her outstretched fingers curled back up, giving the vase a reprieve.

They had quarreled before, but not like this. If she were to be truly honest with herself, she had to admit that Matt seldom argued back. She would rant and rave; and he would say soothing words to calm her down and eventually she would succumb to his charm. He was actually angry this time. Kitty paused for a moment, as she recalled the look on his face. No, he wasn't angry...he was scared. Of what? A little girl? When she heard the door open, she whirled around, half expecting it to be him. Instead, she was faced with the source of her problems.

Calleigh closed the door behind her. "Is everything all right? I heard the door slam."

Kitty fought for some composure, "Everything is fine. Did you...uh...finish that book?"

"Just about." Calleigh cocked her head to one side, as though to study her prey. "Aren't you working tonight?"

"Yes, I...I just thought I would check to see if you needed anything."

Ignoring the lie that had been put to her, Calleigh jumped straight to the point. "You're fighting with Marshal Dillon aren't you?" She was silently praying that it wasn't so, but she knew that it was. As if she hadn't messed things up enough for herself, now she was causing trouble for Kitty.

"How would you possibly know that?" Kitty put a hand to her forehead, massaging her temple. Suddenly she was developing a terrific headache. "Calleigh, why can't you just be a normal little girl."

Calleigh remained still, her tone was flat, "Because I wasn't raised a normal little girl."

Kitty felt like the verbal blow Matt had delivered to her downstairs, she had just passed along to Calleigh. The anger drained from her body and she crossed the room, taking the girl into her arms. "I am so sorry; that was a mean thing to say...please forgive me."

"It's alright. I just don't want you to fight over me."

With her hands on Calleigh's shoulders, Kitty held the girl away from her. "Who said it was about you?"

"He doesn't like me, does he?"

"He does, of course he does. Everyone does."

"If you say so. Kitty," she pulled away and headed toward the bedroom Kitty had fixed up for her, "Maybe staying here is not a good idea. I think it's time to go."

"No!" The woman surprised herself, with the force of the tone, "You can't go, you're...just a child."

"I'm sorry, Kitty...but I can go." The words held no insolence, only sadness; and as usual, she was just stating facts. "I didn't come here to make trouble for you."

Kitty was starting to panic. It wasn't as though she actually could force the girl to stay. Calleigh would just run off, the first chance she got. Probably catch up to Carter and go back to that life. It felt as though everything was spiraling out of control. Kitty made an attempt to bring it down a notch. "You're not making trouble. Yes, Matt and I had a disagreement; but things like this take time. He's only known you a couple of days.

Calleigh nodded, but remained silent. She knew exactly why Matt was upset. Both reasons: One, he was suspicious about the girl's past. He would surely start sending out feelers, trying to find someone who knew her. Two, he was unable to spend any private time with Kitty, as long as Calleigh was there. Kitty wasn't the only one starting to panic.

Calleigh had wanted to get to know Dillon before revealing who she was. To make sure he cared for her for who she was, not out of some kind of obligation. There was no way she could have foreseen Kitty coming into her life. It was almost funny; she'd finally found someone that really cared for her and she was going to have to walk away. If it came down to choosing, she knew Kitty would choose Matt. She -would - choose him; but Calleigh knew Kitty cared enough for her that there would always be some resentment there. Something that could eventually tarnish the love the couple shared.

"Calleigh, promise me you aren't going to do anything stupid."

"Sure. You're right. I'm sure when we get to know each other, he'll come around. I'm really tired; I think I'll go on to bed and maybe finish that book."

Kitty watched the girl disappear into the other room and blew out a long breath. This wasn't over by a long shot.

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Matt slipped quietly into the back door. He was half-afraid to go in; Kitty could be a hellcat when she was pissed, but he had to explain it to her. He really hated it when she was mad at him. Matt knew that Calleigh was sleeping down the hall and the last thing he wanted to do was have a confrontation with her too. So he eased the knob between his fingers, trying not to make a sound. As the door opened, he heard crying and his heart lurched. Matt was a giant of a man by most standards, yet the sound of Kitty crying could bring him to his knees. Being quiet was no longer a consideration; he just needed to get to her. Those long legs took him across the room straightaway. He sat down on the edge of her bed and pulled her into his arms.

Whatever anger she had felt earlier, seemed to have drowned in her tears. Matt held her to his chest, softly comforting "Kit, I am so sorry." His arms slid around her waist, pulling her closer. "Baby, don't cry, we'll work this out. I promise."

Her words fell between tears, and tiny hiccuping gulps of air, "It's... too late... she's... going to... run away. I just... know it. Probably… end up with that…horrible man again. She's upset with me...you're upset with me...am I losing you too?" Hearing the words out loud, only confirmed how hopeless the situation was and she began to cry harder.

He peppered kisses across her temple, "Please honey, you need to stop crying. You're going to make yourself sick." His hands looked so huge against her cheek, as he brushed away the tears. "You'll never lose me. I was afraid of losing you. I behaved like a jerk. And I'm afraid for you. I'll talk to Calleigh tomorrow and I promise we'll work things out."

"You will?' She took several short breaths, as the tears began to subside.

"I promise," He slid down on the bed and curled his body around hers.

She struggled to stop yawning, but the tears had exhausted her. By the time she finished her question, she was almost asleep. "Why were you so against her?"

"Shh, go to sleep, we'll talk about it tomorrow."

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During her short "almost" thirteen years, Calleigh had been subjected to many things a child should not have to see, let alone deal with. Permitting herself a certain amount of pride—for the most part, she had not only dealt with the situations, but learned from them.

Wise beyond her years, was the phrase Carter was so fond of saying. Most of the time, she had found herself an onlooker, not a participant. For her own safety, she had learned to keep quiet, make herself small and learn to read people around her.

This time, she was in over her head. The people of Dodge were going to be her undoing. They cared! Two simple words that she'd never had to contend with before. She had paced the floor in her room, listening helplessly to Kitty crying. It wasn't until she heard Matt finally getting her to stop, that she could release the breath she had been holding.

The ironic thing was, Calleigh had inadvertently set herself up for this fall. Before every performance, she and Carter would wander through town, getting a feel for the type of crowd they would be facing. Making herself as inconspicuous as possible, she would circulate through town, eavesdropping on a myriad of conversations. She would identify the big spenders and pointed them out to Carter.

This time, she also listened for information of a more personal nature. It didn't take long before she found the string of gossip that interested her. Apparently, Miss Kitty Russell and the Marshal were quite an item; at least that was the rumor mill. It was obvious that her best resource to learn about Matt Dillon, would be Miss Russell.

Upon their first meeting, she made a very interesting discovery. She saw how closely she resembled his lady and wondered if he had chosen her because she reminded him of another love. She hoped this meant he had loved her mother. Calleigh doubted that Matt loved her mother the way he loved Kitty. She had never seen two people look at each other the way they did. She had read about it in romance novels, but never seen it in real life. Her plan was just to get to know Matt through Kitty and the others; but something went wrong. She was unprepared when Kitty had refused to accept 'no' as an answer to the invitation to be her guest.

Calleigh let herself get too comfortable and they just seemed so accepting. Kitty had completely taken Calleigh in and Doc doted on her. And Festus...there just weren't words to describe him. Now what was she supposed to do? First, they would wonder why she hadn't been honest with them in the beginning. Then they would assume that she had used them. Kitty would be devastated. …And Matt? He would never forgive her.

She pulled her flannel shirt from the closet and then slipped into her pants. Carefully, she folded the dress she had been wearing, and laid it across the bed. Her fingers lingered on the fancy stitching around the collar. "Another lifetime," she whispered to no one.

TBC