A Flicker of Light In The Darkness
Chapter 20
The Aftermath
The drive out to their home was quiet. At one point, Matt thought Kitty had fallen asleep, but when the moonlight shone into the buggy, he could see otherwise. Matt pulled the buggy up close to the porch. He walked around the other side and helped Kitty down. They walked up the steps together and as he opened the door into the foyer, he repeated Doc's words, "You need to get into bed."
"No, I want to take a bath first."
"Honey, Doc said..."
She jerked her arm away from his grasp "NO! I don't care what Doc said!" Matt was startled by her sudden outburst, "I'm dirty...I've had the same clothes on for days...and-" her lip began to quiver and Matt knew she was about to shatter into a million pieces. She fell into his arms with the last of her words, "I still have her blood on me."
Matt held Kitty's slender frame as she cried tears of exhaustion. He was so worried about her health, he hadn't considered her emotional state. Once the crisis had passed, she was drained. "I'm sorry; you get these clothes off and I'll get the bath ready."
He got the water ready and went into the bedroom looking for her. He found her still sitting on the edge of the bed. "Water's ready."
Kitty nodded as she rose and walked into the water closet. She undid the buttons on the bodice and let the dress drop to the floor. Matt was surprised at how much blood had soaked through to her petticoats. She stepped out of everything, and turned to Matt.
"Burn it! Burn it all." He helped her into the tub and then carried all the clothing out of the room. She had sunk down into the water and smelled the lilac oil he had added for her. She leaned back, soaking up the warmth.
"Hey," Matt peeked his head in the door. "You doing all right?"
"I'm sorry I was so mean to you."
"Wanta make it up to me?"
"Sure"
He opened the door, revealing a totally naked body, causing Kitty to burst into laughter. Ignoring her, he padded over to the tub. "Scoot forward."
"Matt?"
"Scoot! Forward!" She did as she was told and he slid in behind her, stretching his long legs along the outside of hers. "I love this tub. That day Calleigh drug us up here to see this house, I knew when I saw this tub. Mmm, had to have it." He reached in front of her searching for the wash cloth. "Oops, sorry; thought that was the cloth."
"Uh-huh."
Finally, securing the towel, he began to wash Kitty's back. After making a coating of suds, he dropped the cloth and used his hands to work the knots out of her muscles. The soap enabled his fingers to move smoothly across her back and shoulders. Kitty emitted little sounds that let Matt know it was working. He could feel her body going limp in his hands. "Better?"
She nodded silently. When he was done, he pulled her back against himself. Again, he used the soap to make a slippery film on her body as he began to circle around her breasts. His hands began to make long, slow strokes down her stomach, into the wet curly patch. His fingers parted the flesh to reveal the center. When Matt stoked the bud, a breath-filled gasp escaped Kitty's lips and she pushed her head back into his shoulder. Her hips moved provocatively, pushing into him. He held her still for a moment.
"Not tonight, sweetheart, this is your night. Here," he whispered as he slipped his hands under her knees, pulling them up until her feet were flat on the bottom of the tub. Not satisfied yet, he wrapped his hands around her slim ankles and moved them to the outside of his knees.
She was completely open and vulnerable to him. His fingers flexed and stroked, reaching inside to elicit moans and cries of ecstasy. Kitty gripped the edge of the tub until her knuckles turned white. "Let it go, Kitten. I'll catch you."
Within seconds of his promise, her body began to convulse and she surrendered herself to him completely. When her body was finally spent, Kitty managed a weak smile at having heard the name her man only used in those most intimate moments. Matt wrapped his arms around her and whispered all the words a woman wants to hear.
He wished they could stay like that forever, but he soon realized that was not practical, "The water is getting cold," he said. She sat forward, stood and reached for the towel hanging on the stand. Wrapping it loosely around her body, she climbed out of the giant tub. Matt grabbed a towel and after a quick brisk rub, he wrapped it around his waist and stepped out behind her.
"Give me that." he took the towel from her hands and began to dry her body. "Feeling better?"
She had her back to him and offered no response. "Kitty?" Matt took her by the shoulders and turned her around. "Are you crying? Honey, what's wrong?"
"No one has ever treated me the way you do."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that. No one has ever loved you the way I do; and I have many wasted years to make up for," he lightly kissed the tip of her nose and snatched her clean gown from the table. "Arms up," he slid the gown down over her still slightly damp body. "Now, go get in bed. I'll clean this mess up."
"Tomorrow," she said. "Come to bed, I need you to hold me."
Matt took her hand and let her lead him to bed. He dropped the towel and climbed into the cool, clean sheets beside her. "This has been a hell of a week." He was silent for a moment and then in a somber tone, "Is this what it's been like for you, all those times I was shot?"
He felt her head move, a confirming answer to his question. "I am so sorry to have put you through that all these years. You ask why I'm so good to you? ...I don't even come close to what you deserve." He could tell by the way her body was trembling that she was crying again. "Kitty, please honey, why are you crying now?"
"I've sat beside that bed more times than I care to count, but I never thought I would be sitting beside it with Calleigh. Why does she always want to protect me and everybody else?"
Matt knew exactly what she was saying. "I knew I loved her, there was no doubt about that; but I don't know that I really understood what being a father truly feels like. You love them, you fight with them, you pray for them and you fear for them. Besides loving you, it's the scariest thing I've come across."
Kitty snuggled in closer, desperately wanting to find just the right words to make her announcement. Was he saying it was too much and he didn't ever want another? Please God, don't let that be true. She summoned up her courage to question him more. "Sounds like you've done a lot of thinking about this."
"I have, Kitty," Matt rolled over on his side, positioning himself up on his elbow so that he could see her face. There was just enough of a breeze to part the drapes and allow a stream of moonlight to spray across the bed. He leaned down, brushing a light kiss across her lips and brushed the still damp curls from her cheek. "I've been doing a lot of thinking about us, too. About the time we've wasted; or should I say, I've wasted." He stopped, unsure if he were saying the right words.
"Kitty, I... I want us to start a family." He watched her face, waiting for a sign, a word, something.
Huge blue eyes stared up at him, her mouth slightly opened as if to say something, but no words came. Silence engulfed the room, with only the katydids and bullfrogs outside the window putting up any resistance to the quiet. For one terrible moment, he thought that maybe she had changed her mind and no longer wanted his children. "Kitty you're scaring me to death here." He swallowed hard, "Please say something."
Much to his surprise, she began to laugh. That sultry, liquid laugh that he loved so much, seemed to caress his senses.
She pulled his head down, her smile turning into a kiss. "I can't believe you said that. Matt Dillon, you never cease to amaze me."
"Then you agree?"
She laughed again, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "I think it's too late...to start, I mean."
His face was a mingling of hurt and confusion. "Too late?" he echoed softly.
She took his hand in hers and placed it lightly across her stomach. "We started about two months ago."
His apprehension melted into an excitement he had never felt before. His huge hand spread across her still smooth stomach, gently caressing the priceless gift inside.
The room fell silent again. The two lovers gazed into each other's eyes, no words were needed. Matt leaned down, his kiss languid and tender. Kitty drew in a deep breath when he finally released her lips. He traced an imaginary line from her temple, down along her cheek with the tip of his finger. "You have never looked more beautiful than you do right at this moment."
TBC