C'est La Vie—Chapter Eighteen
by taitofan
Rated PG-13 for sexual situations
Author's Note: Chapter sixteen and seventeen were skipped for nsfw content. You can read them on AO3 or my tumblr under the tag "taito writes."
Disclaimer: I don't own Randy Cunningham 9th Grade Ninja or its characters.
Prompt: "Randy and Julian's wedding! Preferably a creepy, gothic wedding befitting our precious cinnamon goth (though maaaybe with a few bruce ninja touches, to be fair to Randy)! Oh, and a skull wedding/engagement ring! And Howard and Theresa as the Best Man/Maid of Honor!" (tumblr)
If you have any CC, please share and I'll listen. Please read, review, and enjoy! Finished 09-26-15
"…I can't do this." He saw Theresa roll her eyes via the mirror he was seated in front of, then she all but shoved his top hat—a dark purple, to match his tux—on his head with a huff.
"Julian, you haven't been able to shut up about today since the day Randy proposed. Four months of being excited, and now you're scared?" Well, he supposed that she wasn't wrong. That didn't change the fact that now that the fateful day had come, he couldn't stop thinking about everything that could go wrong. What if Randy changed his mind? What if their parents decided to object at the last minute? What if Howard stood up to object? Would Randy leave him at the altar? "Julian! You're going to hyperventilate! Just calm down. Randy loves you, you love him, and in a few hours you'll be married. And if Howard tries anything I'll shove the bouquet down his throat."
He let out a nervous giggle, not doubting for a moment that she would do just that.
"I know, I know. I'm just being ridiculous. But even with as long as Randall and I have been together, sometimes I still can't believe he chose me." And not you went unspoken, but the small, sad smile that appeared on her face for just a moment told him that she understood what he hadn't said. He felt that prick of panic he got whenever he knew he'd said something insensitive to his cousin. Just what he absolutely didn't want to do—upset his Maid of Honor two hours before the wedding. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I just—"
"You don't have to explain," she said quietly, her smile a little more genuine now. "You have wedding day jitters, that's all. Now, you're going to stop talking like that before you work yourself up, understand? I swear, if you start crying before the wedding and I have to redo your makeup, I'm going to tell the most embarrassing stories at the reception!"
Though she said it in a joking manner, Julian didn't doubt that she'd do that too.
"Understood."
"Good!" She went back to touching up everything, making sure he looked perfect for the upcoming ceremony, and Julian relaxed, glancing down at his engagement ring. Theresa was right—everything would be fine. Soon the silver band—silver, engraved with the fanciest skulls Julian had ever seen; Randy knew him so well!—would be replaced with a wedding ring. Yes, there was nothing to fear. He and Randy were in love, and nothing was going to ruin their day!
"What would you do if I stood up and objected?"
"Run you through with a sword." Howard snorted, but Randy gave him an "I'm serious" glare, which was promptly ignored. "Howard, I mean it. Don't you dare—"
"Calm down, Cunningham, I won't ruin your wedding. I'm not that much of a shoob." Randy wasn't exactly sure that was true, but Howard had already been threatened with not being allowed to eat the food at the reception if he did anything stupid, so Randy hoped that would keep his Best Man in line. "Don't give me that look! I mean, just because I don't get along with your husband-to-be doesn't mean I'm going to mess things up for my best friend!"
Randy sighed and nodded, not wanting to fight anymore. He wished Howard and Julian got along better, but there was no changing things now. Maybe once they were actually married Howard would come around. Who knew? Honestly, as long as he behaved, Randy would be content. They could work on the rest later.
"Just don't call Julian a shoob when you give your speech, okay? Because if he cries today and it isn't from happiness, I'll never buy you food again. Ever."
Howard looked scandalized, and Randy rolled his eyes. That was Howard for him…
Piano music reached Julian's ears—Rachel was playing, he thought absently; the young woman certainly knew how to play a lot of instruments—and he was glad Theresa was at his side. He gripped her arm tightly—in the other one she held a bouquet of pure black roses, his idea of course—shaking as they waited for their cue. Randy was already down there, waiting at the altar. He hadn't seen his fiancé since the previous day, wanting to keep with tradition. Randy had thought it was silly—neither was wearing white, and their décor was more traditionally suited for a funeral than a wedding. Black and purple filled the hall, lace and crosses and dyed roses and other aesthetic choices Randy hadn't objected to.
Julian, for his part, hadn't objected to the little "ninja" touches that hung about. No one except the two of them and Howard would understand the significance of the throwing stars, and everyone would likely think the elegant scrolls that hung about said gothic things, not various tidbits of wisdom a mystical book had once told Randy. It was all for the best that everyone thought he was just being quirky again—Randy got awfully melancholic whenever their old classmates brought up the ninja that had once protected them, a protector that was no longer needed. And no matter how many times Julian mentioned that at least it meant he got to keep his memory this way, being the last Ninja of Norrisville and all, Randy never truly seemed satisfied…
"You ready?" Julian stopped his musing and nodded. He had the rest of his life to help Randy through his issues. Right then, he had a wedding to focus on! "Okay, count of three. One, two, three…!"
The pair stepped out, matching each other just as they corresponded with the décor. Theresa's dress was the same shade of dark purple as Julian's tux, with black lace. Long black gloves covered her arms, and her hair was down to her shoulders. She was lovely, and he smiled when he saw Rachel blushing from her spot at the piano when they came into sight.
He soon felt himself flush as he spotted his groom, standing in his traditional black tux, Howard at his side. Well, Howard might as well not been there, as all he saw was Randy, grinning and winking at him as he and Theresa walked in time with the music. Was it too early to start crying? Yes, probably, he thought, smiling to keep his emotions from bubbling up too soon. Oh, how would he make it through his vows at this rate…?
The music died as they reached the altar, and Julian had to force himself to let go of Theresa's arm so she could take her spot at his side. He faced Randy, wishing he could look as calm as his fiancé did.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today—"
Mr. Weinerman—who neither Julian nor Randy nor Howard had known was a justice of the peace until he'd offered to help with their wedding—knew the speech by heart, and Julian had a hard time paying attention to the words. He obviously wasn't worried about Randy leaving him anymore, and he really didn't think that Howard would cause a scene. Even his parents and the Cunningham's looked happy to be there! So why couldn't he shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong…?
It was just as Randy opened his mouth to say his vows that the wall burst open, a mechanical thing—some sort of bear? Julian couldn't be sure, everyone's frantic screaming sort of distracted him—causing everyone to scatter. Randy looked just as shocked as Julian felt, before a determined look came to his face.
"Julian…"
"I know." He watched as Rachel raced over to them as the robot picked up the piano and threw it across the room. Theresa scooped her up and sprinted off, yelling for everyone to follow her to safety. Howard and his father were long gone. "Only you can stop it."
"And McFist is going to regret doing this today, I promise. He won't get away with this."
Ninja or not, Randy still had the reflexes and training to stop McFist's occasional rampage, usually whenever his wife was upset with him. Julian watched as he grabbed some weapons from around the room and took off after the robot. He sighed and went after Theresa.
So much for that.
"I'm really sorry."
"It's not your fault Randall. You don't have to apologize."
Randy knew it wasn't his fault, of course he did, but he still felt terrible. Julian had put so much effort into the day, and there they were, at their apartment, where the wedding reception had to be moved. They had to say their vows in a ruined church in tattered clothes, while everyone stood among the rubble and hoped no more robots came along.
It had still been wonderful and Julian had only cried from happiness, but Randy still knew that his husband was disappointed.
Wait, he thought, as it really hit him.
…His husband.
"Julian!" he cried, taking Julian's hands into his own and squeezing them tightly. Their wedding rings—made from white gold, Julian's being set with black diamonds in the shape of a skull that he'd absolutely loved, thank the stars—glistened even in the artificial lighting. "You're my husband!"
Julian looked confused for a moment, then he did the best thing Randy could hope for—he giggled.
"Yes Randall, that's what happened when two people are married, after all." He smiled, completely genuinely. It was a beautiful sight after the disappointed expression he'd worn since they'd left the ruined church. "Julian Cunningham… If a younger me had known this day would come, I might not have spent a better chunk of high school as a spider…"
"If a younger me had known, I would have tried harder to get McFist in jail so he couldn't have ruined today." He'd liked to have added that maybe he wouldn't have been such a shoob to Julian, but, well, he had been a shoob back then period, so that was a lie. He didn't doubt that Julian would call him on it either.
"Well, I suppose we can't say the day was ruined. The church, certainly. My decorating, definitely. But the entire day?" He looked at his wedding ring, then back to Randy, his eyes full of affection. "We're married now. How could that be anything but perfect?"
Randy didn't care that their apartment was crowded with wedding guests, including his parents and in-laws—he kissed Julian for all he was worth. When Howard called out for them to save it for the honeymoon, Randy promptly flipped him off.
Hours passed, and they were left alone once Theresa and Rachel both dragged Howard away, kicking and complaining that he wasn't done eating. It had been a long and exhausting day, but a good one nonetheless. Julian personally could have done without the robot, but Randy had fun fighting it, and that had to count for something, he guessed.
"I know we don't exactly need an excuse to have sex," Randy began, pulling Julian close and playfully flicking open a button on his jacket, "but it is our wedding night."
"It is," Julian agreed, suddenly feeling as if they were both far too overdressed. They made their way to their bedroom, where Randy helped on that front, slowly undressing him. There was no rush, not tonight. Julian planned on getting little sleep that night, and he knew Randy well enough to know he was thinking the same thing.
There had been something that Julian wanted to discuss now that they were married, but it had waited that long, so there was no harm in waiting a little longer. It wasn't exactly a topic to discuss during sex, after all. He'd really hate to ruin the mood when they were both so eager.
They could have their honeymoon and get used to being husbands before Julian brought up the subject of being parents.